DISCLAIMER-I DON'T OWN THE TITANS-as usual Ryan Hurst is a god and I wish I
owned him but you know how that goes. Ashley, her dad and random friends
are mine too.
Thirty miles to go.I lit another cigarette to help ease my nerves. What was worse, I thought to myself, knowing that my best friend is gone or having to face my past? Having to look all of them in the eye after screwing up like I did.how am I going to face them?
I went home like I always did and tried to convince myself that there was nothing wrong, that I hadn't yelled at Petey, that Ray made me happy, that I liked my new friends and that.that I didn't regret everything I had done in the past few weeks. But that was to no avail. I wish I could have gone back and said no to Ray when he asked me to homecoming, I wish I hadn't fought with Gerry, I wished that Ronnie.never mind about Ronnie.
Besides from the mental exhaustion Ray and Ronnie and the rest of the guys had caused me, I had been feeling a little under the weather that whole week. I had these spells where I was extremely dizzy or nauseous and had even spent the previous night in the bathroom throwing up, but I assumed it was just a passing virus or nervous energy from my less than calm social life.
I spent that afternoon lying around the house, having a few meaningless phone calls with my new best friends about how great the party tonight was going to be and how lame football was anyway. As I got ready for the party, I flipped on the radio and tried to find some station that wasn't playing "Hey Hey Goodbye" or some other good luck tribute to the Titans. I wish I could have been there like old times, cheering for my boys and celebrating afterwards, but no, tonight I'd be watching a bunch of guys drink and get horny-an exciting combination.
At 7:00, Ray came over to pick me up. However, we didn't leave until 7:30 because he decided to make nice with my dad. My father had fallen in love with Ray Budds more than I had and I cannot describe how irritating it is to have your father care about your boyfriend and talk about him more than you do. After what seemed like hours of small talk about Ray's future and all that good stuff, I finally succeeded in dragging Ray out of the door.
"Babe you look hot.sorry I couldn't tell you before-you know I mean I gotta make nice with the parentals." Ray grinned over at me from the driver's seat. I smiled weakly. Ray continued. "Man I have your dad wrapped around my finger-get this-he said that I didn't have to worry about getting you home if I wasn't ok to drive because he trusts us not to do anything! What an idiot! God if he'd only know what a little sex freak you are he'd have a rude awakening."
I felt sick to my stomach. I AM NOT A SEX FREAK WE DID IT TWICE! AND I REGRET BOTH TIMES! I wanted to scream it at him but of course-I didn't. The feeling of nausea got worse as we drove by TCW because the whole place was decked out with Titan support paraphernalia. They were off playing at some other stadium, but as far as I was concerned, Ronnie Bass and Gerry Bertier could be staring right into the car.
When we got to the party, it was already in high gear. All of Ray's friends were trashed and soon tossed a beer in one of his hands and a joint in the other. I didn't have time to think about how gross he looked because Laura and the girls handed me a wine cooler and decided to fill me in on the latest gossip. My stomach turned to jelly after one sip of that wine cooler, I thought I was going to go into another one of my dizzy spells. However, the girls didn't notice and kept talking.
"Oh, and Lisa Connors? Did you hear about her? Supposedly she's doing Rev Harris-that injured quarterback! That is so gross she is WAY too good for him!" Stacey, Laura and Meg continued to trash people and gossip like that for what seemed like hours. I looked at my watch-8:30. I had been there less than an hour. I could seriously kill myself.
But wait! It gets better! A completely drunken Ray comes over. "Heeeyyy Ashaleeeeey what's shakin?" I raised an eyebrow. "How drunk are you?"
He laughed. "A little. But remember-Daddy practically gave us permission to have a little sexual fun this evening.so you wanna get started?" Without warning he leaned over and shoved his tongue down my throat. I pushed him off. "Ashley! What the hell is your problem?" He slurred at me as I started to walk away. I couldn't deal with it.
Ray staggered after me and I heard Stacey say behind me "I don't know what that girl's deal is! I mean she has Ray Budds and she's not giving him any! She better rethink her relationship ideas." I kept walking and I heard Ray yell behind me "Where you going? The bedrooms the other direction! Are you on your period or something?"
I had my hand on the front doorknob when it suddenly swung in towards me. Melanie Carter and Matt Brenner were walking in. They were just a couple of acquaintances I knew from school. "Hey Ash!" Mel greeted me cheerfully. "Mel I have a huge favor to ask." She looked concerned. "What's wrong?"
I took a deep breath. "Ray's drunk and he's not taking no for an answer and I just wanna go home and I don't have a car with me so I know you guys just got here but you're the only people who haven't gotten trashed yet." Matt rolled his eyes. "Say no more. Budds can be an ass like that sometimes. We'll take you home, no problem."
I sighed, relieved that I would be able to get away from the suffocating party. I was walking out of the door when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
I spun around to find that Ray had staggered after me. "You're not going anywhere but upstairs with me!" He grabbed my wrist and started pulling me towards the stairs.
I tried to release his grasp. "Goddammit Ray let go of me! I'm not going anywhere with you! You're drunk and you're an asshole and you are probably the biggest mistake I've made in my entire life!"
His gaze hardened while his grip on me lessened. "What are you talking about?"
I mustered up all of the courage I had inside of me. "It's over. So take your Budweiser and pot and find someone else to get it on with because I'm not you're little plaything anymore." And with that, I turned and walked out the door, Melanie and Matt close behind.
As soon as the door slammed behind me, Mel ran over to me. "Oh my god Ashley! Are you ok? I mean.do you realize what you just did?"
I nodded in response as I climbed in the backseat of Matt's car. Mel sighed. "Thank god! I knew it was only a matter of time for you two."
"Why do you say that?"
Mel looked at Matt and laughed. "Come on Ashley I mean.you're too nice for Ray Budds. He likes his girls quiet and willing to do whatever he wants. You're too confident, too sure in yourself to deal with that. I think the entire world was surprised when you picked him over Ronnie Bass."
My heart nearly stopped at the mention of Ronnie. "Me and Ronnie? No. We were just friends-seriously and that's all we ever would have been."
"Sure, Ash. But I won't bug you about it."
Just then, we hit a patch of traffic. Mel craned her neck out the window. "What's all this about? It's too late for traffic."
Matt looked out his window. "Oh I bet the team just got back and by the looks of it they won." Mel squealed with excitement. "Oh let's go stop by and see them! I bet it's a party down there!" Matt obliged and we followed the pack of cars into the TC Williams parking lot. I wanted nothing more than to scream "NO TURN AROUND I CANT GO IN THERE!" but of course I didn't.
Mel was right. Most of the town had gone down to the school when they found out that the Titans had won. The bus had just arrived back and the parking lot was packed with people in red and white. Mel grabbed my arm and dragged me around to say hi to what seemed like half of the school. I tried my best to avoid the eye contact of the team, hoping to god that they wouldn't notice me in the crowd.
All around me people were cheering and driving by in their cars screaming out their windows with the music cranked up high. Mel and Matt had continued walking and dragging me along with them when I saw Ronnie talking to his parents. He hadn't seen me so I made a beeline in the other direction. I stood on the outskirts of the group, waiting for Mel and Matt to take me home when I saw Gerry climb into his Camaro. As he drove through the crowd, he caught the attention of everyone he passed. He smiled and laughed as people screamed out "You're the best Bertier!" and "Awesome game! Hope for a repeat at states!"
Next thing I knew, Gerry stomped on the gas and floored it out of the parking lot. A truck was flying down the street, but he didn't seem to notice. "Gerry!" I screamed out-but it was too late. They had already collided. Gerry's car had spun out and flipped over in the middle of the road. When the crowd noticed, everyone's attention turned from the team to the pile of twisted metal in the middle of the road. Matt and Melanie ran over to me. "Oh my god what happened!" Was the resounding cry from the crowd. "Ashley? Ash are you alright?" Matt's voice was the last thing I remember hearing before feeling really dizzy and going black.
Thirty miles to go.I lit another cigarette to help ease my nerves. What was worse, I thought to myself, knowing that my best friend is gone or having to face my past? Having to look all of them in the eye after screwing up like I did.how am I going to face them?
I went home like I always did and tried to convince myself that there was nothing wrong, that I hadn't yelled at Petey, that Ray made me happy, that I liked my new friends and that.that I didn't regret everything I had done in the past few weeks. But that was to no avail. I wish I could have gone back and said no to Ray when he asked me to homecoming, I wish I hadn't fought with Gerry, I wished that Ronnie.never mind about Ronnie.
Besides from the mental exhaustion Ray and Ronnie and the rest of the guys had caused me, I had been feeling a little under the weather that whole week. I had these spells where I was extremely dizzy or nauseous and had even spent the previous night in the bathroom throwing up, but I assumed it was just a passing virus or nervous energy from my less than calm social life.
I spent that afternoon lying around the house, having a few meaningless phone calls with my new best friends about how great the party tonight was going to be and how lame football was anyway. As I got ready for the party, I flipped on the radio and tried to find some station that wasn't playing "Hey Hey Goodbye" or some other good luck tribute to the Titans. I wish I could have been there like old times, cheering for my boys and celebrating afterwards, but no, tonight I'd be watching a bunch of guys drink and get horny-an exciting combination.
At 7:00, Ray came over to pick me up. However, we didn't leave until 7:30 because he decided to make nice with my dad. My father had fallen in love with Ray Budds more than I had and I cannot describe how irritating it is to have your father care about your boyfriend and talk about him more than you do. After what seemed like hours of small talk about Ray's future and all that good stuff, I finally succeeded in dragging Ray out of the door.
"Babe you look hot.sorry I couldn't tell you before-you know I mean I gotta make nice with the parentals." Ray grinned over at me from the driver's seat. I smiled weakly. Ray continued. "Man I have your dad wrapped around my finger-get this-he said that I didn't have to worry about getting you home if I wasn't ok to drive because he trusts us not to do anything! What an idiot! God if he'd only know what a little sex freak you are he'd have a rude awakening."
I felt sick to my stomach. I AM NOT A SEX FREAK WE DID IT TWICE! AND I REGRET BOTH TIMES! I wanted to scream it at him but of course-I didn't. The feeling of nausea got worse as we drove by TCW because the whole place was decked out with Titan support paraphernalia. They were off playing at some other stadium, but as far as I was concerned, Ronnie Bass and Gerry Bertier could be staring right into the car.
When we got to the party, it was already in high gear. All of Ray's friends were trashed and soon tossed a beer in one of his hands and a joint in the other. I didn't have time to think about how gross he looked because Laura and the girls handed me a wine cooler and decided to fill me in on the latest gossip. My stomach turned to jelly after one sip of that wine cooler, I thought I was going to go into another one of my dizzy spells. However, the girls didn't notice and kept talking.
"Oh, and Lisa Connors? Did you hear about her? Supposedly she's doing Rev Harris-that injured quarterback! That is so gross she is WAY too good for him!" Stacey, Laura and Meg continued to trash people and gossip like that for what seemed like hours. I looked at my watch-8:30. I had been there less than an hour. I could seriously kill myself.
But wait! It gets better! A completely drunken Ray comes over. "Heeeyyy Ashaleeeeey what's shakin?" I raised an eyebrow. "How drunk are you?"
He laughed. "A little. But remember-Daddy practically gave us permission to have a little sexual fun this evening.so you wanna get started?" Without warning he leaned over and shoved his tongue down my throat. I pushed him off. "Ashley! What the hell is your problem?" He slurred at me as I started to walk away. I couldn't deal with it.
Ray staggered after me and I heard Stacey say behind me "I don't know what that girl's deal is! I mean she has Ray Budds and she's not giving him any! She better rethink her relationship ideas." I kept walking and I heard Ray yell behind me "Where you going? The bedrooms the other direction! Are you on your period or something?"
I had my hand on the front doorknob when it suddenly swung in towards me. Melanie Carter and Matt Brenner were walking in. They were just a couple of acquaintances I knew from school. "Hey Ash!" Mel greeted me cheerfully. "Mel I have a huge favor to ask." She looked concerned. "What's wrong?"
I took a deep breath. "Ray's drunk and he's not taking no for an answer and I just wanna go home and I don't have a car with me so I know you guys just got here but you're the only people who haven't gotten trashed yet." Matt rolled his eyes. "Say no more. Budds can be an ass like that sometimes. We'll take you home, no problem."
I sighed, relieved that I would be able to get away from the suffocating party. I was walking out of the door when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
I spun around to find that Ray had staggered after me. "You're not going anywhere but upstairs with me!" He grabbed my wrist and started pulling me towards the stairs.
I tried to release his grasp. "Goddammit Ray let go of me! I'm not going anywhere with you! You're drunk and you're an asshole and you are probably the biggest mistake I've made in my entire life!"
His gaze hardened while his grip on me lessened. "What are you talking about?"
I mustered up all of the courage I had inside of me. "It's over. So take your Budweiser and pot and find someone else to get it on with because I'm not you're little plaything anymore." And with that, I turned and walked out the door, Melanie and Matt close behind.
As soon as the door slammed behind me, Mel ran over to me. "Oh my god Ashley! Are you ok? I mean.do you realize what you just did?"
I nodded in response as I climbed in the backseat of Matt's car. Mel sighed. "Thank god! I knew it was only a matter of time for you two."
"Why do you say that?"
Mel looked at Matt and laughed. "Come on Ashley I mean.you're too nice for Ray Budds. He likes his girls quiet and willing to do whatever he wants. You're too confident, too sure in yourself to deal with that. I think the entire world was surprised when you picked him over Ronnie Bass."
My heart nearly stopped at the mention of Ronnie. "Me and Ronnie? No. We were just friends-seriously and that's all we ever would have been."
"Sure, Ash. But I won't bug you about it."
Just then, we hit a patch of traffic. Mel craned her neck out the window. "What's all this about? It's too late for traffic."
Matt looked out his window. "Oh I bet the team just got back and by the looks of it they won." Mel squealed with excitement. "Oh let's go stop by and see them! I bet it's a party down there!" Matt obliged and we followed the pack of cars into the TC Williams parking lot. I wanted nothing more than to scream "NO TURN AROUND I CANT GO IN THERE!" but of course I didn't.
Mel was right. Most of the town had gone down to the school when they found out that the Titans had won. The bus had just arrived back and the parking lot was packed with people in red and white. Mel grabbed my arm and dragged me around to say hi to what seemed like half of the school. I tried my best to avoid the eye contact of the team, hoping to god that they wouldn't notice me in the crowd.
All around me people were cheering and driving by in their cars screaming out their windows with the music cranked up high. Mel and Matt had continued walking and dragging me along with them when I saw Ronnie talking to his parents. He hadn't seen me so I made a beeline in the other direction. I stood on the outskirts of the group, waiting for Mel and Matt to take me home when I saw Gerry climb into his Camaro. As he drove through the crowd, he caught the attention of everyone he passed. He smiled and laughed as people screamed out "You're the best Bertier!" and "Awesome game! Hope for a repeat at states!"
Next thing I knew, Gerry stomped on the gas and floored it out of the parking lot. A truck was flying down the street, but he didn't seem to notice. "Gerry!" I screamed out-but it was too late. They had already collided. Gerry's car had spun out and flipped over in the middle of the road. When the crowd noticed, everyone's attention turned from the team to the pile of twisted metal in the middle of the road. Matt and Melanie ran over to me. "Oh my god what happened!" Was the resounding cry from the crowd. "Ashley? Ash are you alright?" Matt's voice was the last thing I remember hearing before feeling really dizzy and going black.