--
One year after
Log Entry 1230.215, Lieutenant Admiral Jaina Solo, in-flight
We are in hyperspace, on our way back to Coruscant. The reconstruction efforts
have gone surprisingly well over past months, considering all the destruction
the planet had suffered in the fists of the Vong. Twin Suns is escorting a
convoy carrying supplies and other needed material to aid the rebuilding of the
former capital.
Mother (and everyone else, for that matter) wasn't all too pleased with my
decision to fly with my squadron, though I couldn't let this opportunity go to
waste.
I hadn't forgotten how cramped an X-wing's cockpit felt, but the sensation is
somehow magnified a hundred times considering how badly I want to reach our
destination already. It's very unlike me to start becoming excited over
anything, though I think I can pinpoint the reason.
My R2 unit blats something about getting rest to avoid jet-lag, though I ignore
it, too consumed in my current thoughts than to pay attention.
A strange—though now delightfully familiar—sensation rushes up my spine, and I
can't help but break into a grin. My anticipation is climbing by the moment,
and it doesn't help that I'm stuck in a small ship for the next twelve hours.
I try and direct my mind towards other matters, but it's of no use. As of late,
I haven't been to find many things that don't make me break into a smirk, a
grin, or even both.
Even Mother's making tremendous progress. If once I'd never have believed that
she'd walk again, I am now totally sure of her recovery. I should have known
better than to underestimate her; after all, I am her daughter, taking
into light all things.
The only thing remotely close to bad news I can possibly think of is that, last
I'd heard, Shawnkyr and Jagged had broken off their engagement. Though then
again, I can't help but feel relief for Shawnkyr—after all, an unfaithful
husband is a thousand times worse than none at all. I can only hope for the
best for their children.
And with that I suppose I should get some well-needed shut-eye—if I can get
myself to sleep anyway. The adrenaline coursing through my veins doesn't seem
to be anywhere near running thin, and part of me doesn't really want to go to
go drift off into the world of the unconscious. Yet.
But then again, sleep means dreams, and dreams are the closest thing I have to
him right now.
--END--
--
In my darkness you save me
--
I run a hand through my greasy hair, frustrated beyond description, trying to
calm myself before I let impatience get the best of me. The pulse board on my
port engine had short-circuited again, leaving my ship temporarily grounded. I
should have known better than to purchase the thing at a ridiculously low
price, but at the time I really didn't have much of a choice.
Fusing the wrong wires together, I am rewarded with a sharp spark to my fingers
and a low-voltage shock that shudders down my arm. I mutter an oath and get up,
hitting my forehead hard on the steel hull.
I give out a low grunt as I crawl my way out from underneath the ship, head
throbbing and arm numb from the mild electrocution I had suffered. From the
corner of my eye I can see a scrawny junior officer hurry past, and I figure
he's wondering if the Jedi Master's gone insane already.
Well, considering all things, I think I'm about to.
I sigh and grab a hand towel that's been sitting on a tool case and wipe off
the oil from my hands. The rest of the docking bay is now empty, and I look out
into the just-rising sun hovering over the dark, unfamiliar horizon of what was
once Coruscant. The light makes me squint, and I turn away quickly, knocking
over the tool case with my knee. I gather the now scattered belongings, and as
I do I come across a familiar holo.
It makes me lose my pulse for a moment.
I pick it up and study it for what seems like an eternity. It is an image of
Jaina, no more than four months old, taken when we'd last parted. A sigh
escapes me and I find my mind lost again.
"Kyp? Are you all right?"
I am taken by surprise and I turn to regard my visitor. Master Skywalker has a
questioning look on his face, and I nod, though I lie. It takes me a minute or
so to take her off my mind, though in the back of my thoughts she lingers
there, like a sweet dream I'd never want to let go of.
I smile a bit, but only for a moment, and turn my back to the blinding sun, now
harsh and hot in the sky.
--
In my nightmares you hold me
--
Twenty-four standard hours later
Log Entry1550.216, Lieutenant Admiral Jaina Solo, New Coruscant
He is here. I know it. I feel it.
My mind is spinning, and I can't help but break into a grin that I've never had
on for a long, long time.
I'd wanted to see him as soon as we'd docked, but I wasn't able to, due to all
the intricacies we'd had to hurdle for the last half-day. It included several
trips to various stations strewn across the planet, a planet I can hardly even
recognize. Coruscant looks nothing like what it once was, and "new" is hardly a
word that fits—instead, it looks exactly like what it really is: the graveyard
of a time long past, a time that is now nothing but reveries in a historian's
records.
I am too exhausted to delve into deeper details, and besides that I surmise
dwelling on such matters will only depress me.
Last night's dreams were as pleasant as they could become, and it only makes me
want to catch some more sleep. I still feel restless, knowing that tonight I
may be breathing the same air as he does—even the very thought of it makes me
want to rush out of my quarters and find him.
But then a voice reminds me: patience. I sigh, slightly defeated but
refusing to concede.
I'll wait. But just this once.
--END--
--
When I am lost you find me
--
My hands are shaking. But not from the wind, or from the cold, for there is
none such things here—but from something I know will never leave me.
She is here. I know it. I feel it.
I wonder if she's thinking of me, as I am her—maybe she is. Maybe she isn't.
I suddenly remember the Council meeting that happened exactly one year to
tomorrow. That meeting never happened—I should have known better than to expect
any less of Han and Leia. Though of course, I will be eternally grateful for
them.
Maybe I'll see her tomorrow.
No. I know I will.
Maybe then, I'll ask her.
Maybe not.
But then again…
Why not tonight?
--
Forever
--
Log Entry 1730.217, Lieutenant Admiral Jaina Solo, personal quarters - New
Coruscant
I can't sleep. Of course I can't.
I know myself too well than to try coercing myself into doing something I know
could never happen.
I don't even know why I'm still writing this, and why I don't just get off my
bunk and do what I know I should do.
But suddenly I'm such a coward.
I hate myself for being so stubborn, that my pride is still a burden I have to
learn to get rid of.
A knock on my door startles me as I write this.
I know who it is.
--
Never forget
--