Despite my saying I'd stop, I'm adding a few more chapters. Nothing on X-2 as of yet (My friend Kuro has it but he isn't gonna share for a while). I have come up with something for Auron, and I've added it to the FFX chapter. I say this seeing as how many people have asked about him, some less politely than others if I might point out.
FF Tactics.
Time Mage: Sorry I missed you. Please leave the exact time you called and I'll get back to you in 3... 2... 1... Hello?" *Beep*
Calculator: You have missed me at this precise second, seeing as I have left exactly 3 hours, 42 minutes and 17 seconds ago. In 5 seconds please leave a message after the beep. *Beep*
Elmdor: Limberry Castle, Elmdor extension. Leave a message after the beep. If it's the Sephiroth Fan Club, stop sending hate mail! I get enough from the Vincent Valentine Fan Club. *Beep*
Oracle: You have reached the Oracle Psychic Hotline. To have your fortune told it will be 30 gil for the first five minutes and 90 gil for every minute after that. Press "1" for a Zodiac relationship match-ups. Press "2" for job related questions. Are you in the right job class? Should you become into a Monk? A Squire? We can help. Press "3" for a nearly perfect forecast of monster encounters. *Beep*
Monk: I'm not here. I'm out lifting heavy stuff, moving it around and then putting it down. Then picking it up again and putting it down again. I hope that doesn't sound stupid. *Beep*
Chemist: Ivalice Apothecary. We have potions, elixirs, antidotes, remedies, poisons, plagues, herbs and decorative tote bags. Please stay on the line until a customer assistant can help you. *Beep*
Knight: Sorry you missed me, I'm out saving a damsel-in-distress. Leave your message after the beep. *Beep*
White mage: I'm not in right now. I'm saving a Knight-in-distress. Leave a message after the beep. *Beep*
Ninja: Shinobi Assassin Guild. We have traced your phone number. An operative will contact you by midnight. Until then. *Beep*
Black mage: Don't leave a message. I'll be in the Ivalice Magic-users Maximum Security Prison for at least ten years for arson.
Vormav: This is Murond, holy sanctuary of the Glabados Church. If you have found any holy Zodiac Stones, please leave your name and address for immediate confiscation and possible execution.
Geomancer: Geomancer's Feng Shui Book Emporium. Leave both your name and number after the beep. And get rid of that tacky Dancer statue in your front lawn. It's not very conductive for the water element or keeping my axe from your head. *Beep*
Lancer: This is the Lesalia Extreme Acupuncturists. Here, our finest Lancers will soothe your troubles away by poking key pressure points with needles. Please leave your name and number for an appointment.
Mediator: Diplomatic Solutions. There are currently no associates available to help you. Please stay on the line or leave a message after the beep. Remember, we don't just help negotiate peace between warring nations. We also do morale raising events, school lectures, personal headhunting and impromptu insult comic. *Beep*
Summoner: Magical Parties Inc. We offer the finest in unique parties. We have Summoners and Mimes for children's parties. For more exciting events, we offer trick shot Archers and knife-throwing Thieves. If you wish for a more adult party, we have a few very lovely Dancers available. And for the ladies there are a couple of very handsome Bards. So if you will please leave your name, number and preference after the beep, we'll set you up with the party of your dreams. *Beep*
I'll try and work on FFVI soon, but I really should play it again before I really do anything with it. And remember, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all... unless it's funny. Thank you.
FF Tactics.
Time Mage: Sorry I missed you. Please leave the exact time you called and I'll get back to you in 3... 2... 1... Hello?" *Beep*
Calculator: You have missed me at this precise second, seeing as I have left exactly 3 hours, 42 minutes and 17 seconds ago. In 5 seconds please leave a message after the beep. *Beep*
Elmdor: Limberry Castle, Elmdor extension. Leave a message after the beep. If it's the Sephiroth Fan Club, stop sending hate mail! I get enough from the Vincent Valentine Fan Club. *Beep*
Oracle: You have reached the Oracle Psychic Hotline. To have your fortune told it will be 30 gil for the first five minutes and 90 gil for every minute after that. Press "1" for a Zodiac relationship match-ups. Press "2" for job related questions. Are you in the right job class? Should you become into a Monk? A Squire? We can help. Press "3" for a nearly perfect forecast of monster encounters. *Beep*
Monk: I'm not here. I'm out lifting heavy stuff, moving it around and then putting it down. Then picking it up again and putting it down again. I hope that doesn't sound stupid. *Beep*
Chemist: Ivalice Apothecary. We have potions, elixirs, antidotes, remedies, poisons, plagues, herbs and decorative tote bags. Please stay on the line until a customer assistant can help you. *Beep*
Knight: Sorry you missed me, I'm out saving a damsel-in-distress. Leave your message after the beep. *Beep*
White mage: I'm not in right now. I'm saving a Knight-in-distress. Leave a message after the beep. *Beep*
Ninja: Shinobi Assassin Guild. We have traced your phone number. An operative will contact you by midnight. Until then. *Beep*
Black mage: Don't leave a message. I'll be in the Ivalice Magic-users Maximum Security Prison for at least ten years for arson.
Vormav: This is Murond, holy sanctuary of the Glabados Church. If you have found any holy Zodiac Stones, please leave your name and address for immediate confiscation and possible execution.
Geomancer: Geomancer's Feng Shui Book Emporium. Leave both your name and number after the beep. And get rid of that tacky Dancer statue in your front lawn. It's not very conductive for the water element or keeping my axe from your head. *Beep*
Lancer: This is the Lesalia Extreme Acupuncturists. Here, our finest Lancers will soothe your troubles away by poking key pressure points with needles. Please leave your name and number for an appointment.
Mediator: Diplomatic Solutions. There are currently no associates available to help you. Please stay on the line or leave a message after the beep. Remember, we don't just help negotiate peace between warring nations. We also do morale raising events, school lectures, personal headhunting and impromptu insult comic. *Beep*
Summoner: Magical Parties Inc. We offer the finest in unique parties. We have Summoners and Mimes for children's parties. For more exciting events, we offer trick shot Archers and knife-throwing Thieves. If you wish for a more adult party, we have a few very lovely Dancers available. And for the ladies there are a couple of very handsome Bards. So if you will please leave your name, number and preference after the beep, we'll set you up with the party of your dreams. *Beep*
I'll try and work on FFVI soon, but I really should play it again before I really do anything with it. And remember, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all... unless it's funny. Thank you.