Iba's notes: Well it's been a long time since I've updated this thing too....oh well.


WHAT IF: Professor Snape was a giant pear? ((Idea submitted by Danre Winac))





"Professor! We're so sorr..." Harry tripped over Malfoys extended leg, and Ron followed after Harry. "...sorry."

Snape watch Malfoy pull his foot back underneath his desk, easily dismissed it. However he was not going to as easily dismiss Harry and Ron for being late again. "Stand up, boy."

Harry slowly stood up with his head bowing down, yet he was impelled to look up at Snape. Snape's yellow lightbulb-shaped body and light fuzz pulled at the corner of his mouth.

"What are you smiling at?!" Snape spat at him, and hopped his round body forward. "Stop your smiling!"

Harry squealed like a girl when Snape rolled over on him and pinned him to the floor. All of the other students ignored it, but Ron was looking down at Harry, wide eyed.

"I'm sorry sir!" Harry pleaded, then inhaled that sweet, lucious aroma. He bit his lip, rather than letting himself bite into that soft, yet frail skin. "Please sir! Get off of me!"

Then the sound of someone that of biting into an apple came from behind Snape.

"Ahh! Who the hell did that?!" he spun around to see Pansy Parkins pretending to busily do her work as juice dribbled down her chin. She was trying not to chew the wonderful texture in her mouth. "Miss Parkins! Slytherin or not! Detention to you, assbiter!"

But Pansy did not look sad, or afraid of Snape. She merely looked up to him and bit into the piece in her mouth.

Ernie came out of nowhere and dug his hand into Snapes side, and he screamed in pain, and pulled out a healthy piece of fruit.

"Detention to you, Ernie!" Snape cried. Then the rest of the class got up and began walking towards Snape like zombies. "What...what are you all doing?! Sit down!" Before long, Snape was trapped on top of his desk, with students on all sides. "All of you stop this! It isn't funny!"

Everyone's eyes looked upon him, wide and with hunger. Little hands reached up to him with drool coming out of their little mouths.

"KILL THE HOBBITS!" Gollum and Peeves popped in the background, singing, then left.

Snape's screams could be heard a mile from the school as the children feasted on him like a murder of crows pecking at a single worm.

"What is all this?" Professor McGonagal burst in, but the students ignored her. "Hot damn!" she exclaimed, leaping into the air, transforming into a cat and contributed to the devouring of poor professor Snape.

Hours later when nothing but the pit was left of Snape, Filch walked in with a bucket and a mop, and observed Snapes deathbed of sticky pear juice.

He groaned and dropped his tools. "I'm not cleanin' up this shit." O_o



The End






Uhm....I think I over did it this time O_o;;;