Isolation will do that to you, AND THEN SOME! - THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!
Disclaimer - I do NOT own anything here! Everything here belongs to someone else, whether it's Lady Croft, the inspiration behind this story, or Lord Hideo Kojima, who invented Metal Gear. (Also a good Christmas present, for you CHEAP shoppers out there. I'm talking about MGS2 - Sons of Liberty, which got into Greatest Hits), and all references to Lord of the Rings, which is property of Tolkien Enterprises, and invented by JRR Tolkien, who I bet is still slapping Shakespeare silly in the big library in the sky. There's also The Simpsons References.which belong to Matt Groening.SO NOONE HURTS ME! :P
A/N - Yup, I believe in The Big Guy, even though I ain't baptized, circumsized, you name it.YOU HEAR ME? NO CIRCUMSICION! *shoots doctors*
9:00 AM - Raiden's Apartment - December 24st, 2003.
Raiden - OH SHIT! IT'S CHRISTMAS AND I HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT WHAT TO GIVE ROSE!
=Codec Call= -Snake---------Raiden- Snake - Hey kid, it's almost Christmas..*evil smirk* Raiden - PLEASE SNAKE! Don't insult me..YOU GOTTA HELP ME! Snake - Don't worry.just head down to Mantis's store.he helped me pick out something for Meryl.. Raiden - Thanks Snake, you're the greatest pal ever! Bye! =Closed=
9:01 AM - Snake's Place - December 24st, 2003.
Snake - You know, after I was the greatest pal, I'm wishing that I DIDN'T tell him to go to Mantis's, his products are worse than gravy flavored gum.Oh well!
Snake resumes drinking his can of Labatt Blue, while watching some grade A hockey.
Snake - Mmmmmmm..the icey taste of labatt blue with hockey..
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Snake pulls out his USP from his and fires a few shots through the door.
Liquid - OW! HOW'D YOU KNOW IT WAS ME, BROTHER!?
Solidus - Told you he'd know.you owe me twenty bucks.
Liquid - Aw crap.that and the hospital bills, too.
9:02 AM - Mantis's Place - December 24th, 2003.
Raiden - Hey Mantis!
Mantis - Hello Mr. Ripper, what can I get you today?
Raiden - The latest issue of playboy, oh, and ammo for all my guns, as you would know.
Mantis - Coming right up, sir.
Raiden - How much?
Mantis - Under normal circumstances, it'd be about $1000.00, as the ammo is $990.00, but since it's Christmas, and the fact you got me to the hospital when my legs were crushed horribly, I'll cut it down to $200.00
Raiden - OH THANK YOU! *Kisses Mantis*
Mantis - .
Raiden - By the way, I want that Golden Ring.
Mantis - Ah, for Rose, yes?
Raiden - Yup, hopefully, it'll get her into bed.
Mantis - YOU SLY DOG!
Both Raiden and Mantis begin laughing evilly.
Mantis - By the way, that's about $3000.00, and you'll have to sign this release form by a certain Mr. Darklordwhoforgedthisunstoppableringbutthengothisfingerchoppedoffandthenhelo stthewarofthering.
Raiden - .Ok.
Mantis - See you around, Mr. Ripper.
Raiden - Mmmhmmm.
9:30 AM - Snake's Apartment
Snake - Alright.looks like I got everything, Hentai for Otacon, George Bush voodoo doll for Solidus, Johnny Sasaki voodoo doll for Meryl, toilet paper for Johnny, pooper-scooper for Wolf, A new muffler for Raiden and his Mitsubishi Eclipse, frying pan for Rose, a riot shield for Liquid.he'll need it, considering he loves to piss off Wolf, Designer Gas Mask for Mantis, Steroids for Raven(like he needs any.), LOTS of sugar for Grey Fox, and finally, a Revenge Planner for Octopus.
10:00 AM - Raiden's Apartment (After a rush of running through every store from the nearest available town.which just happened to be Springfield.)
Raiden - Good, I have hentai for Otacon, Tony Blair voodoo doll for Solidus, twin-quilted toilet paper for Johnny, gas mask for Wolf.stupid dog crap, gravy flavored rations for Snake, cookware set for Rose, pepper spray for Liquid, a year's supply of pixie sticks for the Ninja, so I can give him more next Christmas, and yes, of course.a Meryl voodoo doll for Octopus.
10:30 AM - Wolf's Luxury Suite
Wolf happens to be sitting in a hot tub, sipping on some white wine.
Wolf - Oh yes, my Christmas list. Well, I got hentai for Otacon, IAMS dog food for my wolves, A fly-swatter for Meryl, gold-plated M4's for Snake and Raiden, sugar for Ninja, and hell, I'll just send fruitcakes to everyone else.
Otacon - That's mean.
Wolf looks to her left, and there's Otacon, sitting in her tub, sipping on some Sake.
Wolf - .
Otacon - .
Wolf & Otacon - Meh. *they continue watching Wolf's Plasma TV integrated into the wall*
11:00 AM - Rose's Brain
Rose - Alright, I have Need for Speed: Underground for Jack, beer for Snake, Solidus, and Liquid, a titanium-plated wheelchair for Mantis, a bribe for Wolf, and finally, hentai for Otacon (anyone seeing a trend, here?)
6:00 PM - Wolf's Out-of-town Mansion overlooking Springfield - Dinnertime!
Wolf - Raiden.you came.where's Rose?
Raiden - Uhh.Rose will be here in half an hour.said something about last minute shopping.
Wolf - Well.make yourself at home, I have beer in the kitchen.
Raiden - Ok.*walks off* OW! OH GOD! AHHHHH!
Wolf - Maybe I should've told him about my angry wolf.*sigh*I'll go get the rations.
*Ding-dong*
Wolf - Hey! It must be Snake.
Snake - Hello Wolf, I have everything, *throws this little cart with everything on it into the kitchen.INTO Raiden who is being mauled by Wolf's angry wolf.
Raiden - AIIIEEEE!!!
Snake - What the hell was that?
Wolf - Nothing..nothing at all.*throws a ration into the kitchen, which hits Raiden on the head*
Raiden - Ow.
DING-DONG
Wolf - *opens door*
????? ????- Hello, I-*BAM*
The Fluffy One - So.no luck, eh Shade?
Shade Wolf - Shut up. *beats Fluffy One over the head, and ties him to SW's Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle, and literally drags him back to their shared apartment(because they're poor)*
Wolf - Right.
*Ding-Dong*
Wolf opens the door, expecting to see Rose.
Liquid - HELLO!
Solidus - Hi.
Wolf - Oh, it's you. Come in.there's fruitcake in the kitchen.
*Raiden is still being mauled by the wolf in the kitchen*
Liquid - What was that??
Wolf - NOTHING! Errr.nothing at all.eheh..heh.
Solidus - Come on brother, let's go "greet" Snake.
Liquid and Solidus, both bearing evil grins, walk into the family room.
"ARGH! OW! OH GOD! AIIIIE!"
A few seconds later, Liquid and Solidus both walk out, bruised and bloodied.
Liquid - He was more prepared than I thought.
Solidus - .
Wolf - *sigh* I'll go get the rations.
*BANG BANG!*
One of Wolf's wolves was running out of the kitchen, scared off by Raiden's apparent gunfire.
Raiden - Oww..Wolf! Get me another ration!
Wolf - Oh crap, I'm going to need to buy more. Liquid, you're paying extra rent for that.
Liquid - D'OH!
*ding-dong*
Solidus - IT'S THE PATRIOTS! AHHH! *hides behind the couch*
Wolf - Oh suck it up you wuss.it's probably Rose.
Wolf reaches over, and opens the door. Rose - I'm finally here.sorry I'm late.
Rose is trampled and Revolver Ocelot, Mantis, Fatman, Vamp, Otacon, Fortune, and Vulcan Raven run in.
Rose - .
Fatman - HI! OH HO HO HO!
Everyone Else - You're not funny, Fatman.
Fatman - Awww.
Wolf - Okay.let's just eat dinner, open the gifts, and kill Raiden, ok?
Everyone but Raiden - YEAH!
Raiden - HELL YEAH! Oh.wait a second.
=At the dinner table.=
Raiden - Uhhh.so yeah.why is everyone giving me evil glares?
Rose - *chomp chomp* Uhh.no reason, Jack dear.*shifts her eyes at Snake*
Snake - *nods* Yeah kid.let's just get out the wine and the beer for the others, alright?
Raiden - Sure Snake.
*Raiden and Snake walk off to Wolf's cellar, and after they close the cellar door, everyone begins whispering to each other*
Wolf - When do we beat Raiden up?
Fatman - Uhh..why do we beat him up?
Fortune - It's an annual tradition.
Fatman - Oh.
Rose - We'll bag him when we give each other our presents?
Everyone - Alright!
Rose - Now act like nothing's happened.they're about to come back.
*Raiden and Snake re-enter the kitchen with the drinks in hand*
Raiden - So, we miss anything?
Rose - No, honey.come back and eat.
Raiden - Err..ok.
*After they finished eating, everyone was gathered in the living room.*
Snake - It's time to open our gifts.but let me say something.Christmas is a time to celebrate the holiday spirit, the start of a new year, and the birth of Christ.*makes the cross*
Raiden - Snake, I never knew you were Christian.
Snake - Neither did I, kid.neither did I.Now.it's not all about the gifts.it's all about the spirit.and our spirit is gained from.NOW!
Wolf - EYAAAAH!
*Everyone Doggy-piles on Raiden, crushing him.*
Raiden - Ow. X_X
Snake - Merry Christmas, kiddo.
Fatman - MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL, A GOOD NIGHT.
Snake - Well, he's fat enough to BE Santa.we'll have to look into that.
~FIN~
A/N - Merry Christmas, guys! Have a merry Christmas, happy hannukah, crazy Kwanza, and a solemn, dignified Ramadan, and NOW! A message from ONE OF my muse's gods, our sponsors!
Eldarion (my muse...DUH) - Are you tired of girls running away from you?
Pimply-Faced Teenager - Yes.
Eldarion - THEN BUY SHADOPOTION! 100% Certified by Shade Wolf industries, drink this, and EVERY GIRL WILL BE RUNNING AFTER YOU!
Shade Wolf - I guarantee, you'll have to beat them off with a stick!
Eldarion - *really fast* Warning, side-effects may include hallucination, diarrhea, erectile dysfunction, death, and halitosis.
Disclaimer - I do NOT own anything here! Everything here belongs to someone else, whether it's Lady Croft, the inspiration behind this story, or Lord Hideo Kojima, who invented Metal Gear. (Also a good Christmas present, for you CHEAP shoppers out there. I'm talking about MGS2 - Sons of Liberty, which got into Greatest Hits), and all references to Lord of the Rings, which is property of Tolkien Enterprises, and invented by JRR Tolkien, who I bet is still slapping Shakespeare silly in the big library in the sky. There's also The Simpsons References.which belong to Matt Groening.SO NOONE HURTS ME! :P
A/N - Yup, I believe in The Big Guy, even though I ain't baptized, circumsized, you name it.YOU HEAR ME? NO CIRCUMSICION! *shoots doctors*
9:00 AM - Raiden's Apartment - December 24st, 2003.
Raiden - OH SHIT! IT'S CHRISTMAS AND I HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT WHAT TO GIVE ROSE!
=Codec Call= -Snake---------Raiden- Snake - Hey kid, it's almost Christmas..*evil smirk* Raiden - PLEASE SNAKE! Don't insult me..YOU GOTTA HELP ME! Snake - Don't worry.just head down to Mantis's store.he helped me pick out something for Meryl.. Raiden - Thanks Snake, you're the greatest pal ever! Bye! =Closed=
9:01 AM - Snake's Place - December 24st, 2003.
Snake - You know, after I was the greatest pal, I'm wishing that I DIDN'T tell him to go to Mantis's, his products are worse than gravy flavored gum.Oh well!
Snake resumes drinking his can of Labatt Blue, while watching some grade A hockey.
Snake - Mmmmmmm..the icey taste of labatt blue with hockey..
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Snake pulls out his USP from his and fires a few shots through the door.
Liquid - OW! HOW'D YOU KNOW IT WAS ME, BROTHER!?
Solidus - Told you he'd know.you owe me twenty bucks.
Liquid - Aw crap.that and the hospital bills, too.
9:02 AM - Mantis's Place - December 24th, 2003.
Raiden - Hey Mantis!
Mantis - Hello Mr. Ripper, what can I get you today?
Raiden - The latest issue of playboy, oh, and ammo for all my guns, as you would know.
Mantis - Coming right up, sir.
Raiden - How much?
Mantis - Under normal circumstances, it'd be about $1000.00, as the ammo is $990.00, but since it's Christmas, and the fact you got me to the hospital when my legs were crushed horribly, I'll cut it down to $200.00
Raiden - OH THANK YOU! *Kisses Mantis*
Mantis - .
Raiden - By the way, I want that Golden Ring.
Mantis - Ah, for Rose, yes?
Raiden - Yup, hopefully, it'll get her into bed.
Mantis - YOU SLY DOG!
Both Raiden and Mantis begin laughing evilly.
Mantis - By the way, that's about $3000.00, and you'll have to sign this release form by a certain Mr. Darklordwhoforgedthisunstoppableringbutthengothisfingerchoppedoffandthenhelo stthewarofthering.
Raiden - .Ok.
Mantis - See you around, Mr. Ripper.
Raiden - Mmmhmmm.
9:30 AM - Snake's Apartment
Snake - Alright.looks like I got everything, Hentai for Otacon, George Bush voodoo doll for Solidus, Johnny Sasaki voodoo doll for Meryl, toilet paper for Johnny, pooper-scooper for Wolf, A new muffler for Raiden and his Mitsubishi Eclipse, frying pan for Rose, a riot shield for Liquid.he'll need it, considering he loves to piss off Wolf, Designer Gas Mask for Mantis, Steroids for Raven(like he needs any.), LOTS of sugar for Grey Fox, and finally, a Revenge Planner for Octopus.
10:00 AM - Raiden's Apartment (After a rush of running through every store from the nearest available town.which just happened to be Springfield.)
Raiden - Good, I have hentai for Otacon, Tony Blair voodoo doll for Solidus, twin-quilted toilet paper for Johnny, gas mask for Wolf.stupid dog crap, gravy flavored rations for Snake, cookware set for Rose, pepper spray for Liquid, a year's supply of pixie sticks for the Ninja, so I can give him more next Christmas, and yes, of course.a Meryl voodoo doll for Octopus.
10:30 AM - Wolf's Luxury Suite
Wolf happens to be sitting in a hot tub, sipping on some white wine.
Wolf - Oh yes, my Christmas list. Well, I got hentai for Otacon, IAMS dog food for my wolves, A fly-swatter for Meryl, gold-plated M4's for Snake and Raiden, sugar for Ninja, and hell, I'll just send fruitcakes to everyone else.
Otacon - That's mean.
Wolf looks to her left, and there's Otacon, sitting in her tub, sipping on some Sake.
Wolf - .
Otacon - .
Wolf & Otacon - Meh. *they continue watching Wolf's Plasma TV integrated into the wall*
11:00 AM - Rose's Brain
Rose - Alright, I have Need for Speed: Underground for Jack, beer for Snake, Solidus, and Liquid, a titanium-plated wheelchair for Mantis, a bribe for Wolf, and finally, hentai for Otacon (anyone seeing a trend, here?)
6:00 PM - Wolf's Out-of-town Mansion overlooking Springfield - Dinnertime!
Wolf - Raiden.you came.where's Rose?
Raiden - Uhh.Rose will be here in half an hour.said something about last minute shopping.
Wolf - Well.make yourself at home, I have beer in the kitchen.
Raiden - Ok.*walks off* OW! OH GOD! AHHHHH!
Wolf - Maybe I should've told him about my angry wolf.*sigh*I'll go get the rations.
*Ding-dong*
Wolf - Hey! It must be Snake.
Snake - Hello Wolf, I have everything, *throws this little cart with everything on it into the kitchen.INTO Raiden who is being mauled by Wolf's angry wolf.
Raiden - AIIIEEEE!!!
Snake - What the hell was that?
Wolf - Nothing..nothing at all.*throws a ration into the kitchen, which hits Raiden on the head*
Raiden - Ow.
DING-DONG
Wolf - *opens door*
????? ????- Hello, I-*BAM*
The Fluffy One - So.no luck, eh Shade?
Shade Wolf - Shut up. *beats Fluffy One over the head, and ties him to SW's Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle, and literally drags him back to their shared apartment(because they're poor)*
Wolf - Right.
*Ding-Dong*
Wolf opens the door, expecting to see Rose.
Liquid - HELLO!
Solidus - Hi.
Wolf - Oh, it's you. Come in.there's fruitcake in the kitchen.
*Raiden is still being mauled by the wolf in the kitchen*
Liquid - What was that??
Wolf - NOTHING! Errr.nothing at all.eheh..heh.
Solidus - Come on brother, let's go "greet" Snake.
Liquid and Solidus, both bearing evil grins, walk into the family room.
"ARGH! OW! OH GOD! AIIIIE!"
A few seconds later, Liquid and Solidus both walk out, bruised and bloodied.
Liquid - He was more prepared than I thought.
Solidus - .
Wolf - *sigh* I'll go get the rations.
*BANG BANG!*
One of Wolf's wolves was running out of the kitchen, scared off by Raiden's apparent gunfire.
Raiden - Oww..Wolf! Get me another ration!
Wolf - Oh crap, I'm going to need to buy more. Liquid, you're paying extra rent for that.
Liquid - D'OH!
*ding-dong*
Solidus - IT'S THE PATRIOTS! AHHH! *hides behind the couch*
Wolf - Oh suck it up you wuss.it's probably Rose.
Wolf reaches over, and opens the door. Rose - I'm finally here.sorry I'm late.
Rose is trampled and Revolver Ocelot, Mantis, Fatman, Vamp, Otacon, Fortune, and Vulcan Raven run in.
Rose - .
Fatman - HI! OH HO HO HO!
Everyone Else - You're not funny, Fatman.
Fatman - Awww.
Wolf - Okay.let's just eat dinner, open the gifts, and kill Raiden, ok?
Everyone but Raiden - YEAH!
Raiden - HELL YEAH! Oh.wait a second.
=At the dinner table.=
Raiden - Uhhh.so yeah.why is everyone giving me evil glares?
Rose - *chomp chomp* Uhh.no reason, Jack dear.*shifts her eyes at Snake*
Snake - *nods* Yeah kid.let's just get out the wine and the beer for the others, alright?
Raiden - Sure Snake.
*Raiden and Snake walk off to Wolf's cellar, and after they close the cellar door, everyone begins whispering to each other*
Wolf - When do we beat Raiden up?
Fatman - Uhh..why do we beat him up?
Fortune - It's an annual tradition.
Fatman - Oh.
Rose - We'll bag him when we give each other our presents?
Everyone - Alright!
Rose - Now act like nothing's happened.they're about to come back.
*Raiden and Snake re-enter the kitchen with the drinks in hand*
Raiden - So, we miss anything?
Rose - No, honey.come back and eat.
Raiden - Err..ok.
*After they finished eating, everyone was gathered in the living room.*
Snake - It's time to open our gifts.but let me say something.Christmas is a time to celebrate the holiday spirit, the start of a new year, and the birth of Christ.*makes the cross*
Raiden - Snake, I never knew you were Christian.
Snake - Neither did I, kid.neither did I.Now.it's not all about the gifts.it's all about the spirit.and our spirit is gained from.NOW!
Wolf - EYAAAAH!
*Everyone Doggy-piles on Raiden, crushing him.*
Raiden - Ow. X_X
Snake - Merry Christmas, kiddo.
Fatman - MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL, A GOOD NIGHT.
Snake - Well, he's fat enough to BE Santa.we'll have to look into that.
~FIN~
A/N - Merry Christmas, guys! Have a merry Christmas, happy hannukah, crazy Kwanza, and a solemn, dignified Ramadan, and NOW! A message from ONE OF my muse's gods, our sponsors!
Eldarion (my muse...DUH) - Are you tired of girls running away from you?
Pimply-Faced Teenager - Yes.
Eldarion - THEN BUY SHADOPOTION! 100% Certified by Shade Wolf industries, drink this, and EVERY GIRL WILL BE RUNNING AFTER YOU!
Shade Wolf - I guarantee, you'll have to beat them off with a stick!
Eldarion - *really fast* Warning, side-effects may include hallucination, diarrhea, erectile dysfunction, death, and halitosis.