38
Will mark the beginning of things that have happened in the past, usually a character is thinking about something in the past, and followed by ………… on the next line, will mark the ending, of those events.
Slight spoilers for Singularity and Catwalk. I've cut this chapter into two parts, due to length.
Rating: PG
Ch 4 Vulcans & Vagabonds
As he was hastily packing up necessary documents in his ready room, Jonathan Archer's attention was caught by an iridescent reflection, in the glass of one of the pictures, over his desk. Moving to the window he was struck by the beauty of the Neutronic Wave Front that was bearing down on them. Hours earlier they'd picked up three stray aliens who had claimed to be stellar cartographers, but looked more like vagabonds. At the moment, it didn't matter who they were, they had warned Enterprise of the coming danger. Now the crew was working fast to evacuate the ship to the catwalk in the starboard nacelle.
If it hadn't been for the coming storm, Archer would have been exploring a new world, in hopes of taking his mind off the problems that had developed with his First Officer three weeks ago. Now instead of putting distance between them, they were going to be crowded into a small space for eight to ten days. At least they were going to be surrounded by the entire crew, so he didn't have to worry about doing anything foolish. As he took a moment out from packing, his mind wandered to the night everything had blown up in his face.
"Vulcans!" He had exclaimed to the small dog that watched him, as he had paced his cabin in frustration. It was a habit Porthos had seen repeated countless times, especially since they'd moved to the new metal neighborhood, and the nice smelling female was just down the block.
"Just when you think you've got them all figured out, BOOM, something happens and they revert to type." He stopped his pacing and addressed the animal that was watching him with interest. "It had all been going so well!" Archer threw his arms in the air and returned to wearing a path in the carpet beside his bed. "We got that damn project finished. The black hole with the trinary cluster is mapped and warning buoys are set. Earth's first real joint venture with the Vulcan's, and we did it! We were finally able to work together like allies!"
Earlier in the evening, the Captain and First Officer of the D'Kaat, the science vessel that had worked with them, had come aboard for dinner. Though they had been coordinating efforts for over a week, it was the first time the two ships had been within sight of each other. Each had worked from opposite sides of the anomaly, which had almost destroyed Enterprise, a week and a half earlier. For a greater margin of safety, the two ships had remained in close radio contact, as they worked, since both species were affected by the radiation poisoning, but in different intensities and durations.
"It was that tall First Officer." Archer had shaken his finger as he had stopped and had spoken directly to Porthos. "Kern, that was his name. Everything was fine until he met T'Pol. She'd been on the bridge when they'd came aboard, so dinner was their first meeting, on Enterprise, at any rate." He had squinted as he had tried to remember exactly what had happened.
There had been four of them, with him, in his private mess. The two Vulcan officers, Trip, and Hoshi had been there to act as interpreter since T'Pol had stayed at her station to finish compiling the last of the massive data they'd retrieved on the project. Trip and he had been in conversation with Captain Serat, while Hoshi had been practicing her Vulcan with Kern.
When T'Pol had joined them, she had spoken politely to both visitors. Archer hadn't noticed anything wrong, until he had realized that Kern had been following her every move with his eyes, other than that, the man had hardly acknowledged her presence. At the time it had seemed a bit odd, but he had thrown it under the category of unusual Vulcan behavior and hadn't given it another thought, until after dinner.
"Damn him!" Jonathan had shaken his head. "What the hell was going on?" He had turned to his dog for support, but the animal had only raised a sleepy eye in his direction. "Except for that, it had all been going well, until Kern's outburst. If there'd been a problem why hadn't she said something?" His frustration had mounted, because over the preceding few weeks he'd felt that his relationship with his first officer had gone beyond the professional. 'Why hadn't she confided in me? And why had it taken me hours to realized that she'd been uncomfortable all evening, but in typical Vulcan fashion, had suppressed it?'
Though the atmosphere in the room had cooled during dinner, Captain Serat had appeared to ignore the tension between his first officer and Archer's. One minute all had been well, and then Kern had cornered T'Pol, after the meal. At first Archer had been pleased, because it looked like they had finally decided to deal with whatever had been between them. But the loud burst of Vulcan, in a deep male voice, had put a noisy end to their quiet discussion, and any hopes Archer had had that the two were resolving their differences. Soon after both visitors had excused themselves, bringing an end to the evening. Whatever had happened between the two Vulcans no one knew, and T'Pol had refused to talk about it.
"But damnit all, why had she denied that anything had been wrong? Why had she reverted to the cool personality she had maintained when she'd first come aboard?" With decisive strides, Jonathan had made it as far as his hatch, before he'd acknowledged a voice deep inside of him. With his hands fisted against the door, and his head resting against the metal, he had listened to reason. 'If I approach her like this, she'll just pull further and further away. Give her time and space.' Somewhere he'd realized this was a test of the newfound friendship that had been forming between them. As he'd turned off the light and crawled into bed, he'd hoped she'd made the right decision.
In the days that followed, he'd gone to Hoshi. He had been sure she had heard, and understood, what had been said between the two Vulcans. But the communications officer had refused to divulge anything, saying only that it was a personal matter and unless the Captain thought it was vital ship's business, he'd have to get his answers from T'Pol.
It had been evident from the cool reception he'd received, whenever he'd tried to approach the subject, of that night, T'Pol wasn't willing to talk to him about anything personal. The closest she'd come in the days following Kern, had been to return the sweatshirt he'd left wrapped tightly around her, the night they'd returned from capturing Menos. Her hushed apology had been cool, precise and Vulcan in every gesture and word. Though her eyes had spoken of tension.
……………………..
It had been three weeks since the incident between Kern and T'Pol, and Archer was sick to death of the cold shoulder he was receiving from his Science Officer! He wished he'd been standing closer, and that he understood Vulcan better. Whatever the young man had said to T'Pol had shaken her for a moment. Part of Jonathan smiled at the thought. He doubted anyone else in the room had been able to see that she was upset, but he could. Over the last months he'd become adept at reading her moods. He had discovered that no matter how much Vulcans denied it, or tried to suppress them, they had emotions, too. All a person had to do was learn about the Vulcan in question, and recently he'd been studying this one very carefully.
He didn't realize how much she'd changed over the last eighteen months, until she reverted to the person she'd been when she'd first came aboard. Gone were the little moments they'd shared during the day. She never met him in the mess hall for late night tea after her meditation, anymore, and he was beginning to think he had only imagined she'd ever called him Jonathan. She did her duty flawlessly, and was always there to support him when, he needed it. He could hardly find fault with her, because she'd chosen to put a stop to the personal relationship that had been developing between them.
He stood watching the approaching storm, but only saw green eyes that had looked into his with trust. No matter how hard he tried to play the game her way, and think of her only as his First Officer and Science Officer, the woman who occupied both those positions always slipped into his mind. Smiling, he remembered the first time they'd met; it had been at Star Fleet Medical, where he'd been called because of Klaang, the wounded Klingon. They'd clashed within the first five minutes. He realized that had been why he'd baited her when she'd come to his ready room with her assignment papers, he'd wanted to see if he could make her eyes light up with green fire, as they had the first time they'd met.
Sometime in the months of working together that had changed. Now, he wanted to see her eyes blaze, but it wasn't with anger. It was with something much more elemental, and dangerous to both of them. At first, when he'd realized that he'd desired her, it had been relatively easy to keep it in check, but recently he'd discovered he cared about her with a depth that was frightening. Emotions mixed with passion put a whole new light on the situation. If she were any other woman, and he any other man, he might have even used the word love where she was concerned. But he wasn't a man who had time for love, and she wasn't a woman who would accept it, so that left them nowhere.
Jonathan forced his mind back to the immediate problem of the elegant violet ribbon that rippled across space for as far as he could see. Death for his crew and his ship, were hidden in the depth of its beauty, if they weren't very careful and lucky. Shaking his head, it took him a moment to realize that someone was at his door. The woman who entered his office took him by surprise. Instead of the cool Vulcan façade that T'Pol had maintained the last few weeks, at that moment she looked very much like she had when she'd asked for his help with Menos.
As they stood together watching the beauty of the Wave, he couldn't help wondering what had caused the change in her. It was almost as if she was afraid of the approaching storm, and had sought him out, but that didn't make any sense. To buy some thinking time, he carefully mentioned the information he'd discovered in the Vulcan database regarding the ship T'Plana, which had been lost almost a century ago when it encountered a class 5 version of this same Neutronic Wave Front. If anything, her pretense of not remembering the facts correctly, made him wonder more. She was leaving something out. Something important to her! What the hell was missing from the Vulcan information? Again he wished things were back the way they had been three weeks ago. Then she might have told him, and if she hadn't, he could have asked.
………………..
Captain Archer had put T'Pol in charge of the evacuation, so she made a last trip through the dimmed corridors and passageways. Enterprise had never seemed, so big or quiet as when she walked alone in the dark, trying not to think of the coming storm and the possible outcome. When Jonathan had told her that he'd discovered the truth about the T'Plana, it had peeled away all the armor she had managed to build when in his presence. If he had questioned her further or had discovered all the facts, it would have made it very difficult for her to keep her distance. It was very unVulcan-like, but she admitted she missed knowing he would have listened to her, and given what comfort he could. The difficulties had started because of Kern, but he wasn't the problem, it was a chance remark of Ensign Sato's, which had caused her to revaluate the changes that had taken place in her, over the last 18 months.
She knew the next few days were going to be difficult. Not only living in close proximity with 83 humans, but Jonathan would be there all the time, she would be unable to put any distance between them, and she doubted there would be the space, or time to meditate. She used her last private moments for a number of days, to look back, and again examine the unpleasant truth she'd learned about him.
The evening had gone badly. It had been the culmination of the events of the last year, none of which T'Pol would have changed, even if it had been possible. If she maintained a stance of dignity and calm in the face of what had the potential to get messy, it would end soon enough. She had sighed for a moment, but hadn't wasted energy wishing that humans were less volatile; to do so would have been illogical. All she needed was to refuse to discuss the matter and there was nothing Captain Archer could do about it. She knew he would be angry and frustrated with her, but as long as she remained calm, he would learn nothing.
It had been unfortunate that the occurrence at dinner had marred what would have otherwise been a very successful project. T'Pol had known that Jonathan had been particularly pleased with the outcome. He had felt that Enterprise had done what she had been made created to do: explore and gather information. He had been exceptionally proud that they had been able to take part in a joint effort, with another species, for the betterment of all concerned.
As she had sat in quiet meditation, with her mind cleared, she had realized that she had arrived late in the Captain's mess, because she had been reluctant to meet with members of her own race. She had taken a deep breath and had delved into her mind, looking for answers. The ones she had found had not brought her comfort. She was a Vulcan who had managed to not just live, but also thrive, on an Earth vessel for over a year. She had taken the part of the ship, and man she served, against the High Command, in the affair regarding the Suliban destruction of a colony, and had done it vocally and publicly. She had chosen to continue her career on a foreign vessel, rather than return to Vulcan and honor a long-standing bond agreement.
Though she had found no flaw in the logic of any of her decisions of the past eighteen months, she had realized she might have been perceived, by her own people, as more of an anomaly than the one they had just charted and marked. She should have been prepared for a cool greeting from their visitors. But it had struck her as odd that the only decision of hers that had been questioned had been a personal one, not a professional one.
The First Officer of the D'Kaat was the elder sibling of Koss, the man who had been her arranged bondmate. His actions had been illogical and rude even by Earth standards. On Vulcan they would have been unheard of. If she had known who he was, she might have been prepared for the meeting, but since she had ended the agreement with Koss, she hadn't given him, or his family another thought.
In any event the evening had been less than would have been ideal. Captain Archer had questioned her after their company had left, but she had stated that her business with Kern had been of a personal nature, and would not affect Enterprise or Star Fleet. Knowing the Captain as she did, she had realized that he was not going to be satisfied with the one attempt to find out what happened. It had been unforturnate, but the new friendship they had been forming might very well be lost because of that.
T'Pol's musing had been interrupted by someone at her door. She had felt a sinking in the pit of her stomach, at the thought that it might have been Jonathan. In that moment she had not known, if she had hoped, he would push for answers or not, either way she had realized, he was going to be unhappy.
"Sub-Commander." Hoshi Sato had called out as she had pressed the door button on T'Pol's hatch. The communications specialist hadn't meant to overhear what had been said to the other woman, but the man addressing her had made no attempt to lower his voice. His insult had been all the more blatant, because he had known that someone who was fluent in his language had been standing less than three feet away.
"Come in." T'Pol had resigned herself to the inevitable, but had been relieved that it was Ensign Sato at her door, instead of a certain tall captain, who had been giving her strange looks for most of the evening.
"Am I interrupting?" Hoshi had looked at the woman, seated serenely on the floor. The only light in the cabin had been from a squat candle.
"It is all right Ensign, I am finished. Was there something you needed?" She had blinked once to clear any vestige of emotion from her eyes before she looked up.
"No---it's well---" Hoshi had gripped her hands. In theory it had been a wonderful idea to have this conversation, but now that she was here, her courage was failing her. "I heard what Sub-Commander Kern said to you." The words had came tumbling out.
"I see." T'Pol had realized that she must have, but on Vulcan, it was something that never would have been mentioned. Things between families were private and if someone was rude enough to talk about them in public, others refused to acknowledge that the conversations had taken place.
"He had no right to speak to you that way!" The words that the big Vulcan had used to attack the Sub-Commander still rang in Hoshi's ears. She had been surprised and shocked to hear the anger in his voice. 'You have brought dishonor to your family, but mine has been relieved of your disgrace. When you broke off the bond agreement with my younger sibling Koss, it saved us from having to welcome a woman who had consorted with savages into our midst. Tell me T'Pol, do you dine on the flesh of animals? And which of these Earthers do you take to your bed? You are Pathha.' Then he had walked away.
"You understood it all?" The Vulcan had known the other woman had a gift for languages, but Pathha was from an ancient dialect, from the time of Surak. It was the name given to those who chose to follow the ways of rampant emotions, pleasures and self-indulgences, rather than his teachings.
"Sub-Commander, he's wrong!" Hoshi's voice had risen, but when she had seen T'Pol flinch from the emotions she had unleashed, she had reigned in her feelings. "He was wrong and he had no right to say such things to you, especially when he was a visitor here. But the reason I came was that I wanted to you know that I'll never tell anyone what I overheard."
"Thank you, Ensign, but I hardly think anyone would be interested."
"With all due respect, Sub-Commander, you're wrong. Captain Archer would want to know." For the first time that evening Hoshi had smiled. T'Pol had sounded like her old self. She had observed the other women for over a year and had seen it happen over and over again. When the Vulcan wanted to avoid an unpleasant truth, instead of telling a lie, she chose to rearrange the question and found a logical explanation for her own interpretation.
"This is a private matter and does not concern Enterprise, or Star Fleet." T'Pol had refused to listen to the voice that had kept telling her that Jonathan had proved himself her friend on a number of occasions and she was being unfair to him by refusing to speak with him about it.
"I beg your pardon, Ma'am, but you're wrong." Hoshi had slid to the floor opposite the Vulcan woman. "This may not have anything to do with Star Fleet, but you're a member of the crew, and as such, the Captain would want to know what happened. Jonathan Archer takes care of those under his command." She had wanted to say what had really been on her mind, but if she had told the other woman that she'd observed that the Captain and the Sub-Commander were becoming close, she knew T'Pol would have been horrified.
"Have you known the Captain long?" T'Pol had kept her eyes on the flame burning in front of her. For some reason, that had she not understand, it was very important to have known exactly what Ensign Sato's relationship was with Jonathan Archer.
"I've known him for about five years. We met when he was doing a preliminary screening for possible candidates for the first crew in the Warp 5 program. I was a cadet with a flair for languages, and had just finished my PhD at The University Of New Mexico." She had smiled sadly as she had remembered their first meeting. "He insisted I was the person for the job. He didn't care that I barely passed my zero-g training, or that even the thought of a roller coaster made my stomach do flip-flops. For five years I tried to talk him out of this assignment, but it didn't work. He had a vision and he made me see it too. He made me believe I could do anything, at the time it was something I really needed." She had shrugged; embarrassed because for the first time in a long time she had spoken about one of the hardest times in her life.
"He was right, you know," T'Pol had whispered. "You are perfect for the job."
"Yeah, right! It took me a year to get my space legs." She had grimaced, her mind still on the man who had broken her heart weeks before Archer and his contagious excitement had come charging into her life and gaven her something to look forward to again. "But now that I'm here I see why it meant so much to him. Every member of this crew was picked by him because of some special quality they had. This project was his dream. You know, most people think he's living his father's dream, but he's not. Henry Archer dreamed of creating a Warp 5 engine, but Jonathan Archer always dreamed of where that engine could take him."
As Hoshi had talked, T'Pol had had a sudden vision of when Archer had asked her to join the crew. They had been standing in his ready-room after leaving Kronos. In a flash of insight, she had realized he had picked her along with the rest of the crew. The Vulcan Science Academy was respected even on Earth. What better way to assure the success of his mission than to have a Vulcan scientist on his bridge? Jonathan's odd behavior toward her over the last months had finally made sense. He hadn't been forming a bond with her personally, but had been carefully securing her as a permanent member of Enterprise's crew.
"Sub-Commander, are you all right?" Hoshi had leaned across the candle and had touched the other woman's shoulder. "You turned pale all of the sudden." She'd thought back quickly to all that she'd said. She'd been very careful not to mention the growing attraction she'd observed between the Captain and the Vulcan.
"I am fine, Ensign." T'Pol had pulled back slightly so she was not being touched any longer. "And Vulcans do not 'turn pale.'" Her brow had quirked, daring Hoshi to contradict her.
"Whatever you say Ma'am." Hoshi had smiled as she rose and had headed for the door, but thought better of it, and had turned back to look one last time at the woman sitting on the deck with her eyes lowered to the meditation candle. "You really should talk to Captain Archer about what happened. He'd understand." That was as close as she had dared too meddle in the relationship that had been forming between her two commanding officers.
"I shall take your advice under consideration, Ensign." T'Pol had nodded in dismissal.
After Hoshi left, T'Pol had stared into the flame of her meditation candle for a long time, but it had not helped remove the chunk of ice that had formed in her chest. All in all it had been a poor evening. The insult from Kern would be easily suppressed, though Archer's reaction to it would take a bit more work. But the revelation from Hoshi was going to take some extended deep meditation.
"Humans." She had muttered to herself as she had blown out her candle and had set the lights at 50. It was totally illogical that the Captain had been showing her favor to gain her support for his vessel, but from what the Ensign had said, this assignment, and all it entailed, was of paramount importance to him. Though she had believed the bond of friendship that had been forming was genuine, she had discovered that the other, more complicated interactions between them had not been.
It would make life much easier for her, but part of her had felt alone on Enterprise for the first time in months. Knowing the Captain like she did, she had doubted he had even realized what he had been doing. She believed him to be a man of honor. He would not attempt to secure her emotions, unless he had really wanted them, but he was human and they often hid their emotional motives from themselves. So it was up to her, to put things back where they belonged: strictly professional!
She had reached under her bunk, and had pulled out her footlocker and had opened it. There on the top had been a man's gray sweatshirt, size XL, with the words Star Fleet embossed across the chest. For a moment she had held it in both hands and had pulled it to her face, while she had breathed deeply of the scent that clung to it. "Jonathan Archer we were headed for trouble." She spoke quietly as she had held the garment close to her face. "It is better to know now where we both stand."
For the first time since Archer helped her apprehend Menos, T'Pol had felt totally Vulcan, again. Her nightly meditation had been full of techniques to suppress thoughts of Jonathan. It would take her time, but she had been soothed to know that once she had rid her mind of any personal thoughts of him, she would be free of the small intrusions in her life that he had caused. She would be back to living by pure logic! She had planned to start in the morning by returning the sweatshirt.
………………
The temporary bridge in the catwalk was crowded, but serviceable. All eyes were on the oncoming Wave Front. Even before they were caught in the violet swirling ribbon that was about to surround them, they could feel the turbulence. Enterprise shook and bounced as Mayweather and Tucker tried to get the inertial dampers online.
T'Pol was thrown against the solid bulk of Captain Archer twice before he gave up and put both arms around her to keep her slight form from bouncing between him and the bulkhead. He felt her stiffen, and then relax against him. Her fingers were digging into his uniform to help keep her balance. When he looked down, her eyes were large and green, then she blinked to wipe away all emotion, but for an instant she'd looked young and very vulnerable, again.
The tiny peek at the woman who he had missed over the last three weeks made him more determined than ever to find out what that Vulcan had said to her to make her close herself off so completely. For the first time since he heard about the Neutronic Wave Front he thought that some good might come out of it after all. The catwalk was too small for T'Pol to get away from him, and he had seen to it that their sleeping quarters were arranged in such a way that it was proper and above board, but they would still be private enough for him to learn a few truths.