A/N: Wooha! Thank you for the reviews! We sure do hope this is keeping you
amused! There will be much, MUCH more madness to come!!
Disclaimers: The SAME! :: says like the Knight form Monty Python.....(which we don't own)::
[Scene 5: All is tranquil outside of room 602 at the Super 8 Motel. However, in the dark of night, trouble is brewing. And, as we all know, trouble rides on four wheels and has no brain.]
[Mason motors around the Super 8 parking lot on his wheelchair, Doing donuts and wheelies.
Krendler is busy digging a potato sack out of the trunk of his car.]
Krendler- "Damn it Mason! Cut that crap out! What are you, a retarded little cripple?
[Mason pauses, and looks at Krendler.]
[Krendler looks at Mason for a few moments, glancing at his little flippers, his fish mouth, and his wheelchair, which is covered in Pokemon stickers.]
Krendler- "Ok, stupid question. But seriously, even crippled retards don't spin donuts on their wheelchairs in the middle of parking lots at midnight!"
[They both hear a strange droning sound in the distance.
Suddenly, from around the corner comes a whole herd of retards in wheelchairs. They drag race around the parking, laughing like a flock of stoned geese. They spin a few donuts, then motor off into the night.]
Krendler- "I have no words at all to explain that. At all."
[Mason drives up and bumps into Krendler's knee with his wheelchair.]
Mason- "How abousht "Mashon, you're a shexy beasht, and your wheelshair makesh me want to shalivate all over shhhe parking lot?""
[Krendler pauses, and then reaches into the trunk and pulls out the potato sack.
Then he makes his way over to the stairs, heading to the second story of the motel.]
[Mason turns and starts to motor after him] .
Mason- "Paul, donsht ignore me! I want to hearshhh you shay it! "
[Paul just keep going up the stairs, and then starts reading the numbers on the doors to find the right room.]
[Mason drives up to the stairs at full speed.]
['BUMP!']
[ His wheelchair hits the first step and tips over, spilling mason out onto the ground.
He flops around, hissing wildly.]
Mason- "Ahhh! Kreshndler! Help me! Oh, how humiliating!"
[Mason rolls around on the ground, completely helpless. His arms are flailing wildly, like soggy spaghetti in a hurricane.]
[Krendler walks back to the top of the stairs and gasps.]
Krendler- "Sweet angry fish eggs!"
[Krendler barrels down the stairs, jumping over Mason's body. He reaches out and pulls the wheelchair into a loving embrace.]
Krendler- "Oh my god! You god a scratch! I'm so sorry! I wont ever let that man hurt you again!"
[Krendler picks up the wheelchair and carries it to the top of the stairs, then he sets it down. He pushes it gently along, making sure not to go fast.
Mason, still sliming around at the bottom of the stairs, cries out.]
Mason- "Krendler, you insheshitive bashtard! You jusht wait till I get up shere!"
[Mason rolls over onto his side, parallel to the first step.
He wiggles his body like a thin cake of Jello, and worms his up onto the next step. He keeps doing that until he flops his way halfway up the stair case.
He is about to wooble his way up the next step, when he face gets stuck in some gum.]
Mason- 0.o "argg damn you Juishy Fruit!"
[Krendler appears at the top of the stairs.]
Krendler- "Hey don't damn me! I didn't do anything!"
[Mason sighs.]
Mason- "I meant shhhe gum, idiot."
[Krendler puts his hand over his heart.]
Krendler- "Ouch, mason. Ouch."
[Mason curses and tries to unstick his face.]
Mason- [wiggle wooble.]
[He starts to flail his bottom flippers (feet) like a fish does when there stuck to a hook.]
Mason- "Krendler! Pleashe help me!"
[Krendler sighs and walks down the stairs.
He bends down and pushes mason, until his face peels off the gum.
Mason, of course, losing his balance and rolls back down the step, flopping around like a squishy burrito getting used as a tennis ball.]
[Krendler laughs his ass off, loses his balance, and also rolls down the stairs.
On the way down, he hits his head, and his scalp, (which had been duct taped closed) pops open.]
[He lands on top of Mason, at the bottom of the stairs, his head hanging open right above mason face.]
[A little stream of sand trickles out.]
Mason- 0.0
[Krendler tilts his head and more sand pours out, as well as three clams and a hermit crab.]
Mason- "Krendler, did you go to shhe oshean wishout me??"
[Krendler gets up, closes his scalp, and stuffs all the clams in his pockets.]
Krendler- "NO! Of course not!"
[Krendler picks Mason up and puts him back into the wheelchair.
Mason thanks him, and curses the name Paul.
Satan refuses to do anything, because he doesn't want to handle Paul without his bio-suit on. Unfortunately, Satan had loaned out his Bio-suit to his neighbor, Jay Leno, and Jay had never brought it back.]
Krendler- "Ok Mason, you just go wait in the car. Ill go finish up our mission."
[A single tear runs down masons cheek.
Of course, before it reaches his chin, mason's gill opens and sucks it in.
Krendler backs up a few steps.]
Mason- "Fhine ill go sssit in the car. Can you at leassht give me the keyssh ssho I can lisshten to the radio?"
[Paul looks at Mason for a moment.]
['SLAP!!!']
Paul- "Don't whine, bitch!"
[Mason, his heart broken, slowly wheels his way over to the car.]
[Krendler goes back up the stairs and opens the door to room 602.]
Krendler- "At last! My genius plan comes to fruition! Hannibal thought he locked up Clarice's bras nice and safe, but NO! He was wrong! Because I, Paul Krendler, have arrived! CLARICES BRAS WILL NOW BE MINE!"
[Paul does the evil laugh thing for several minutes.
When he opens his eyes, he sees dozens of little kids running out of the Hotel room, each carrying one of Clarice's bras.]
Paul- "Oh damn.. I think I just created a generation of transvestites."
[Mason screams from the car:]
Mason- "Yeah! Probably becausshe they shaw YOUR TIE!"
[Krendler cradles his tie.]
Krendler- "Hey, Mason, you made this for me I thought it was special? "
[A little kid runs up and tears off Krendler's tie, and runs off.]
Krendler- "What an ironic turn of events. I come here to steal Clarice's clothes, but instead it is MY clothes that get stolen. I feel like whoever is writing this script is against me."
[A gigantic tiger falls out of nowhere and grabs onto Krendler's neck with its teeth.
It drags Krendler off into the night.]
[Mason ends up sitting in the car all night without the keys.]
[In the morning, Police show up to investigate reports of a theft, and they find Krendler shivering on the floor of the car.]
[Of course, the first thing they do is search the car for drugs (donuts).
Then they hand Krendler a dollar and drive to the nearest strip joint.
(Ironically enough, that is the same strip joint where Hannibal spent that night. But GOD, don't tell Clarice. Shed be SO pissed.)]
Disclaimers: The SAME! :: says like the Knight form Monty Python.....(which we don't own)::
[Scene 5: All is tranquil outside of room 602 at the Super 8 Motel. However, in the dark of night, trouble is brewing. And, as we all know, trouble rides on four wheels and has no brain.]
[Mason motors around the Super 8 parking lot on his wheelchair, Doing donuts and wheelies.
Krendler is busy digging a potato sack out of the trunk of his car.]
Krendler- "Damn it Mason! Cut that crap out! What are you, a retarded little cripple?
[Mason pauses, and looks at Krendler.]
[Krendler looks at Mason for a few moments, glancing at his little flippers, his fish mouth, and his wheelchair, which is covered in Pokemon stickers.]
Krendler- "Ok, stupid question. But seriously, even crippled retards don't spin donuts on their wheelchairs in the middle of parking lots at midnight!"
[They both hear a strange droning sound in the distance.
Suddenly, from around the corner comes a whole herd of retards in wheelchairs. They drag race around the parking, laughing like a flock of stoned geese. They spin a few donuts, then motor off into the night.]
Krendler- "I have no words at all to explain that. At all."
[Mason drives up and bumps into Krendler's knee with his wheelchair.]
Mason- "How abousht "Mashon, you're a shexy beasht, and your wheelshair makesh me want to shalivate all over shhhe parking lot?""
[Krendler pauses, and then reaches into the trunk and pulls out the potato sack.
Then he makes his way over to the stairs, heading to the second story of the motel.]
[Mason turns and starts to motor after him] .
Mason- "Paul, donsht ignore me! I want to hearshhh you shay it! "
[Paul just keep going up the stairs, and then starts reading the numbers on the doors to find the right room.]
[Mason drives up to the stairs at full speed.]
['BUMP!']
[ His wheelchair hits the first step and tips over, spilling mason out onto the ground.
He flops around, hissing wildly.]
Mason- "Ahhh! Kreshndler! Help me! Oh, how humiliating!"
[Mason rolls around on the ground, completely helpless. His arms are flailing wildly, like soggy spaghetti in a hurricane.]
[Krendler walks back to the top of the stairs and gasps.]
Krendler- "Sweet angry fish eggs!"
[Krendler barrels down the stairs, jumping over Mason's body. He reaches out and pulls the wheelchair into a loving embrace.]
Krendler- "Oh my god! You god a scratch! I'm so sorry! I wont ever let that man hurt you again!"
[Krendler picks up the wheelchair and carries it to the top of the stairs, then he sets it down. He pushes it gently along, making sure not to go fast.
Mason, still sliming around at the bottom of the stairs, cries out.]
Mason- "Krendler, you insheshitive bashtard! You jusht wait till I get up shere!"
[Mason rolls over onto his side, parallel to the first step.
He wiggles his body like a thin cake of Jello, and worms his up onto the next step. He keeps doing that until he flops his way halfway up the stair case.
He is about to wooble his way up the next step, when he face gets stuck in some gum.]
Mason- 0.o "argg damn you Juishy Fruit!"
[Krendler appears at the top of the stairs.]
Krendler- "Hey don't damn me! I didn't do anything!"
[Mason sighs.]
Mason- "I meant shhhe gum, idiot."
[Krendler puts his hand over his heart.]
Krendler- "Ouch, mason. Ouch."
[Mason curses and tries to unstick his face.]
Mason- [wiggle wooble.]
[He starts to flail his bottom flippers (feet) like a fish does when there stuck to a hook.]
Mason- "Krendler! Pleashe help me!"
[Krendler sighs and walks down the stairs.
He bends down and pushes mason, until his face peels off the gum.
Mason, of course, losing his balance and rolls back down the step, flopping around like a squishy burrito getting used as a tennis ball.]
[Krendler laughs his ass off, loses his balance, and also rolls down the stairs.
On the way down, he hits his head, and his scalp, (which had been duct taped closed) pops open.]
[He lands on top of Mason, at the bottom of the stairs, his head hanging open right above mason face.]
[A little stream of sand trickles out.]
Mason- 0.0
[Krendler tilts his head and more sand pours out, as well as three clams and a hermit crab.]
Mason- "Krendler, did you go to shhe oshean wishout me??"
[Krendler gets up, closes his scalp, and stuffs all the clams in his pockets.]
Krendler- "NO! Of course not!"
[Krendler picks Mason up and puts him back into the wheelchair.
Mason thanks him, and curses the name Paul.
Satan refuses to do anything, because he doesn't want to handle Paul without his bio-suit on. Unfortunately, Satan had loaned out his Bio-suit to his neighbor, Jay Leno, and Jay had never brought it back.]
Krendler- "Ok Mason, you just go wait in the car. Ill go finish up our mission."
[A single tear runs down masons cheek.
Of course, before it reaches his chin, mason's gill opens and sucks it in.
Krendler backs up a few steps.]
Mason- "Fhine ill go sssit in the car. Can you at leassht give me the keyssh ssho I can lisshten to the radio?"
[Paul looks at Mason for a moment.]
['SLAP!!!']
Paul- "Don't whine, bitch!"
[Mason, his heart broken, slowly wheels his way over to the car.]
[Krendler goes back up the stairs and opens the door to room 602.]
Krendler- "At last! My genius plan comes to fruition! Hannibal thought he locked up Clarice's bras nice and safe, but NO! He was wrong! Because I, Paul Krendler, have arrived! CLARICES BRAS WILL NOW BE MINE!"
[Paul does the evil laugh thing for several minutes.
When he opens his eyes, he sees dozens of little kids running out of the Hotel room, each carrying one of Clarice's bras.]
Paul- "Oh damn.. I think I just created a generation of transvestites."
[Mason screams from the car:]
Mason- "Yeah! Probably becausshe they shaw YOUR TIE!"
[Krendler cradles his tie.]
Krendler- "Hey, Mason, you made this for me I thought it was special? "
[A little kid runs up and tears off Krendler's tie, and runs off.]
Krendler- "What an ironic turn of events. I come here to steal Clarice's clothes, but instead it is MY clothes that get stolen. I feel like whoever is writing this script is against me."
[A gigantic tiger falls out of nowhere and grabs onto Krendler's neck with its teeth.
It drags Krendler off into the night.]
[Mason ends up sitting in the car all night without the keys.]
[In the morning, Police show up to investigate reports of a theft, and they find Krendler shivering on the floor of the car.]
[Of course, the first thing they do is search the car for drugs (donuts).
Then they hand Krendler a dollar and drive to the nearest strip joint.
(Ironically enough, that is the same strip joint where Hannibal spent that night. But GOD, don't tell Clarice. Shed be SO pissed.)]