Spider, Part Seven "Memory"
by Vega
~~~
Dawn crept in slowly.
Eventually I got sick of staring at my wrist, trying to decipher the puzzle behind my latest injury, and crawled over to the door that led outside. I pushed it back and scooted forward until I was seated on the edge of the porch, one foot dangling above the garden path, one tucked under me, and my back against a supporting pillar.
The garden was enclosed with a low wall, painted a dark slate grey. There were trees of species I did not recognize, flowers in exotic shapes and colours in full bloom, their scents tickling my nose. There were twisting paths that created patters on the ground, low shrubberies, and a koi pond filled with the enormous goldfish-type creatures.
For a while I just watched the light slowly change from a night-dulled lavender to a bleeding red, to tangerine orange, coral, light yellow, and finally the white of a newly-risen sun. The patterns on the leaves and ground shifted subtly and I pursed my lips and enjoyed the fresh breeze on my face.
Then I looked at my wrist.
I still lacked the ability to bend my elbow without outside help, so without Kagewaki there to slip my arm into it's sling, I remained stiff-jointed. I also slept with my bandaged arm outside of my kimono, so it was slipping precariously around the torso as I sat. A few quick tugs and shifts and I thought I had it closed.
The bandages that had been protecting the burns on my wrist had been... cut away it looked like. The edges weren't frayed enough for it to have been me tearing it, or anyone else for that matter. Inside of the cut-away parts was a small set of newly-forming bruises, in that familiar crescent shape of a jaw and teeth - and two tiny punctures right were the biter's canines would have been.
Why had I been bitten? And what had bitten me? The marks were to big to be an animal, a pet of some sort, too small to be that demon again... I shuddered momentarily as the full force of the nightmare slammed back into my conscious.
The man in the death's head mask. He had bitten me, right there.
I screwed my eyes shut and leaned my head back and tried to calm my breathing.
It had been a NIGHTMARE. It had NOT BEEN real. I had probably felt some mouse or something bite me in the middle of the night, attracted by the scent of the ointment, and translated that into my dreamscape. It happened.
I looked at the wound again.
Except this was too big to be a mouse.
I clutched my wrist with the other hand, ignoring the pain, and ground my teeth together to prevent me from crying out.
What the HELL was happening to me?!
I was so confused. Where was I? Why was I here? How did I get here in the first place?
As I thought these questions the dream-voice rose in my mind, asking the same.
"Where are you from?" he had said. And my answer had been:
"I... I don't remember..."
"Who are you?"
"I... don't... remember..."
And I had screamed something else. "I AM NOT A MIKO!"
"You are not a Miko," the voice had repeated. He had sounded slightly amused. "You are not a youkai. You are not hanyou. And yet you have the power to make metal move without touching it. You speak an ungodly language. You dress as a man does. And your eyes are the colour of a morning sky."
I chewed on these words. Miko... I was not a warrior priestess. Youkai. I didn't know what that I was. Hanyou. I had heard Kagewaki say it, but I didn't know it's meaning either.
The power to make metal move? I hadn't done that. Dress as a man? I looked down at myself. What had I been wearing when I had first come here? Ungoldy language... well, I spoke English, not Japanese. Except now that I had this earring... again my thoughts shied away from contemplation of magic.
This was just too surreal.
And my eyes are the colour of a morning sky. I wonder what that meant. I suddenly wished for a looking glass. Were my eyes blue? I didn't remember.
I hadn't lied to the voice. I didn't know who I was. Where I was. Why I was. I closed my eyes and concentrated, trying to move past the trauma of the night I was injured, trying to reach back further, to a darkened bedroom, my soft bed with a real pillow... The aching throb of fire beneath my skin blocked my way. The pain was like a wall in my mind that I couldn't get past.
I opened my eyes once more and leaned back against the pillar and stared at the finely-hewn wooden beams that made up the overhanging roof above my head. I would NOT cry.
Several moments passed before I heard the door to my room slide open and Kagewaki's voice calling softly, "Ashrinu? Have you awakened?"
"Out here," I replied and flicked my eyes over to him. He was dressed in a simple white kimono today, and not his customary indigo.
His own eyes momentarily widened before he stepped gracefully out onto the porch and sat cross legged beside me. "You certainly are stronger than I have given you credit for," he said softly after a moment of not-quite-tense silence.
"How do you mean?"
"Most people in your position would still be bed ridden. You have managed to throw off much of the mag– weakness."
I lowered my head and narrowed my eyes at him. His returning smile was innocent.
"Let me kiss you again," he said softly, unfolding himself and leaning towards me.
I jerked my head back and turned my face to the side. "Why?"
He blinked and paused. Then he lifted my good hand to his face, pressing light kisses to my fingertips. "You are beautiful," he said, and his voice was heart-achingly sincere. I tried to resist the lure of the reactions this raised in me, and was only partially successful. There was something about Kagewaki that made me want to surrender to him when he was nearby. "From the first moment I saw you I knew you were different. You were something more. I want you."
I pulled my hand out of his grip harshly, and I think it shocked him. "I am NOT different," I spat. "I am NOT a Miko. I am NOT a hanyou or a youkai, whatever they are."
He tried to touch my cheek and again I jerked my head to the side, out of reach. "But your eyes..." he began, his tone becoming slightly pleading.
"What ABOUT my eyes? I can't SEE my eyes!"
He stared at me a moment, then called out to a servant. I didn't catch all he said, he spoke so rapidly, but the man returned with two small bundles and set them down beside Kagewaki. He sat back in the lotus position, this time facing me, his knees almost touching mine.
Unsure wether or not I should be comfortable with his proximity, I instead turned my attention to the first square of folded cloth. As Kagewaki slipped the knot and folded back the smooth fabric I saw... myself.
With a gasp of shock I reached out and he allowed me to take the mirror in my hand.
My face... that is what I looked like? My cheekbones were high, delicate, my skin fair compared to those around me. My hair was light and reddish, matted and dirty, oily from the grime of my injury and days gone without a bath.
But my eyes... they were blue. The bluest blue I'd ever seen. An ethereal glowing blue that could not have possibly been natural. My iris was shot through with white flares of lightning, and the rims were a midnight colour. The pupils were strangest of all, however, slender and almost beast-like in their narrowness.
My god... what WAS I?
Trembling, I dropped the mirror. It landed with a dull thunk on the polished wooden floor and Kagewaki let it lie.
"What... what...?" I said, and could hear the tremor in my voice.
He reached up to cradle my cheek in his hand once more and this time I let him. His voice was like hot cinnamon. "My guess is that, somewhere, in your lineage, is youkai blood. From the fineness of your features, I'd say a taiyoukai."
"Youkai?" I repeated, knowing the earring still wasn't translating properly.
The corner of Kagewaki's lip curled slightly. "Youkai is... a monster. Like the one that attacked you... a demon."
"A... a demon?"
"Yes. But not all are..." he paused a moment, as if searching for the right word. "Villains. Some are very human-like." I couldn't tell from the inflection of the word 'human' wether or not this was a desired trait. I hoped it was. "A taiyoukai," he continued, obviously anticipating my next question, "Is a youkai ruler. A prince, a king."
"Taiyoukai..." I breathed. The word... the concept... was vaguely familiar... why?
"Do you understand?"
I shook my head. Oh, I understood, but I didn't want to believe it.
"I think you do understand what I am saying." Kagewaki leaned close again, and again that heat spread through my body, my confusion drowning in waves of trust. I tried to fight them off. They felt unnatural. But I couldn't. I wanted Kagewaki to kiss me.
I opened my lips slightly, my breathing becoming heavier. He was pressing his face close to mine. I felt his nose brush past mine and then... my eyes fell on the other bundle at his feet.
"What's that?" I pointed to it, and he broke away and sat backwards, annoyance flashing briefly over his features before being replaced by indulgence.
"These are your garments," he said, picking up this bundle of fabric as well. He untied the silk that covered them and handed me the rough remains of what had been my shirt - vitriol or something had eaten clean through the right arm and most of the torso. The rest looked like it had been spattered with battery acid, holes and punctures splashing over the fabric.
The jeans were in better shape. Only the waistband on the right-hand side had been eaten away, though the legs sported the same acidic holes as the shirt. My doc martins were next, heavy soled shoes... or at least, they had been. I must had stepped in a pulled of the monster's saliva.
Shuddering, forcing back the urge to vomit, I shoved the clothes back at him. If this is what that thing had done to my clothing, it was a wonder my right arm still existed at all. From the pile of silk that had hidden them a melted lump of metal slipped out to land beside the mirror.
I plucked it up from the porch with my good hand and turned it over. It was my watch! I had forgotten entirely that it was even missing - that it even existed! I looked at my ruined wrist, and once more forced my gorge down.
Inspecting the face, I saw that the second hand was still ticking away merrily beneath the half-melted glass, bent in such a way that it was able to sneak under the damage and keep going as it passed.
"The metal moves of it's own volition," Kagewaki said, an unknowing imitation of the dream-voice's accusation. I looked up to find him staring at the watch face as well. "What sort of magic makes it revolve, and for what purpose?"
I knew then that my worst suspicions were true. No longer could I tell myself that I was simply in rural Japan... somehow, someway, I was in ANCIENT rural Japan. EVERYbody knew what a watch was, even those who chose not to use electricity.
I set the watch down carefully on the mirror. "It's mechanics," I said, and was only mildly shocked to hear my voice crackling. "Springs and wires and the like, it makes the metal bar move like that - tic-tic-tic, once every second."
"Second?"
"It's called a watch. It's used to tell time. It's ... like a portable hourglass."
"Fascinating," Kagewaki admitted and picked it up to study it more closely. "So it is not magic?"
"No," I said.
He held the lump of melted metal and glass back to me. "What does it mean, when the bars are positioned like that?"
I studied them, trying to see around the lumps of browned and bubbled glass. "It means it was three-forty. About... four hours after midnight."
He nodded, as if confirming the time I said as the one he knew it was. I wondered at the strange reaction. Perhaps it was around then that this Naraku brought me to him?
Naraku.
I looked back at my wrist, as the small crescent moon punctures. Kagewaki followed my gaze. Unflinchingly he said, "Oh, your bandages have come away." He made no mention of the new wound.
His lack of reaction set off all sorts of warning alarms in my head. I wanted to say something, to ask him if he knew how they came to be there, but he was suddenly kissing me again, and I could taste the tea that he'd had this morning, the warmth of his skin... and a slight coppery tang that I couldn't identify.
Then he pulled back and, looking into my eyes, said, "Forget about your wrist. I believe you are well enough to bathe today - would you like that?"
I nodded. A bath would be nice.
I looked at my wrist again, and tried to remember if there was something important I was supposed to connect with the blood spots on the bandage. I couldn't. Kagewaki scooped me up in his arms and walked through the garden towards a small house on the far side, near a part of his house that I was unfamiliar with.
I had never been this far from my room, and it was an eye-opener to see how very large this place was. This wasn't a house - it was a palace. He followed my wide-eyed gaze with a chuckle. "It is big, yes. My father was the Lord of this region. I inherited it after he passed away."
"I'm sorry," I said softly. I rubbed my cheek into his smooth chest, which was bared slightly by the gap in his soft white kimono. "I would have liked to have met him."
Kagewaki looked down into my face. "He thought you were very lovely."
I blinked. The confusion must have been evident on my face.
"My father was here to receive you when Naraku brought you to us. He was killed that night, however, by a spider youkai."
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" I said again. "I had no idea."
Kagewaki's smile weakened minutely. "You were asleep. Do not trouble yourself over it."
I said nothing more until we reached the small hut. He called into the house as he set me down on the steps that lead into it, and the same young woman as before scrambled to light a fire underneath the building in a stone cairn.
Kagewaki helped me into the room above the oven and I saw that it was divided between a bench and floorspace and a large wooden tub of water. The water was faintly green in colour, scented with something floral, and I could see the wisps of steam rising from the water as it began to heat up.
He helped me onto the bench, then with a quick smile, exited.
The young lady entered to help me undress and climb into the basin, but then left. I wondered if I was to be left alone when Kagewaki walked back in. I yipped and tried to hide against the side of the tub, but it was awkward because my bandaged right arm dangled out the side.
"Do not be ashamed," he said softly, "I do not intend on taking advantage of you. The doctor has been called away to attend other matters and I am the only one in the household who knows how to properly care for your wounds. Please."
He knelt beside the tub and turned his attention to the bandages, pulling them off slowly and gently. His gentle rhythmic touch, his presence, and the hot water were all soothing, and I felt my eyelids drooping shut. I hadn't slept very well at all in the past few days, and it was starting to take it's toll on me.
"Why don't you sleep?" I heard him say, but his voice sounded distant.
"I don't... wanna..." I sighed, even as I cradled my head on my good arm, which I had been resting on the polished rim of the basin. "... nightmares..."
"There will be no nightmare today," he said gently, and I could feel the wet scrape of the soft cloth he was dabbing against my overly-sensitised burns. "I promise."
I didn't have time to decide wether or not I believed him before I drifted off to sleep.
~~~
I was dreaming again.
I could feel the warm water around me, strong hands cradling my head, keeping it above it. But that was distant. That was far away.
I was standing by the doorway. I was wearing new patent leather shoes. I hated them. They had bows on the toe and I hated bows. They had been a gift from my great grandmother, the lady with the bright red hair that she kept it two buns on the top of her head to hide... to hide what? I didn't know, she had never shown me.
My great-grandmother had always worn the buns in her red hair – it had never occurred to me that it was strange that my great-grandmother looked the same age as my mother's sisters.
Great-grandmother was standing in the kitchen with mother, and I was spying.
They were having an argument, although over what I did not know. I could hear them shouting, but I didn't understand all the words. They were shouting in that strange language great-grandmother spoke, the one I didn't know much of.
My mother had trouble following it too, and great-grandmother switched into halting, heavily accented English.
"Why do you not come and visit us more often!" great-grandmother was saying. "The others want to see her. We barely know our own decedent."
"She's not one of you!" my mother was shouting back. "She's a human!"
Great-grandmother shook her head. "Her father was a great man. He was also one of us. You loved him, didn't you? Can't you indulge his side of the family, out of respect for his memory? Can't you visit us in Japan every once and a while?"
"No! I don't want my daughter to have anything to do with you creatures!"
"Your husband was a 'creature'. Why use such harsh words for those of us with less human blood than him?"
My mother was crying, and I wanted to go ask her why, but I also didn't want to see great-grandmother. Mother said that she was... a freak.
"My daughter is human," my mother insisted around sobs.
"She has her ancestor's eyes," great-grandmother said softly, "the eyes of canine youkai."
"No!" my mother screamed, and I heard the crash of something breaking. "Get out of my house! GET OUT!"
I ran up to my room, crying myself, scared. I hid under my bed. I heard the downstairs door slam and great-grandma's car pulling away from the curb. The phone rang and I heard mother answer it, striving to sound normal.
The next day mother and I went to stay in a hotel. We stayed there for three months. When we finally went back home, our house had moved to somewhere very far away - we had to drive for two days straight to get there.
And we never saw great-grandmother again.
Eventually, the memory faded from my mind, and as I grew up, I forgot about my great-grandmother entirely.
And I wore violet-tinted sunglasses to school.
~~~
When I awakened, I was bundled up in a blanket and propped against the trunk of a rather large tree. I looked around and found Kagewaki leaning against the tree beside me, slowly reading a scroll as he unfurled it.
It was early afternoon, judging by the type of light that was diffused by the leaves above us.
I sat up slightly, mildly shocked at my new surroundings.
"Oh, awake are you?" he turned his eyes to me, setting aside the scroll. Before it rolled closed on itself I tried to read the writing - it looked like it had been scratched out by a twig, rough and runic looking. Not at all like the scripted kanji that I had seen as tattoos and on commercials back home.
Back home...
"I... yes."
"Did you have a nightmare? Was that voice back?"
I shook my head and felt the wet ends of my hair slapping gently against my cheeks and neck. It disturbed me briefly that he had washed my hair as I slept, even though I was grateful. Dirty hair smells and I was beginning to need a shampoo.
"See?" he said "Did I not promise?"
"You did," I admitted. "Thank you."
And that worried me. He had told me there would be no nightmares and there wasn't. How is it that nightmares... the voice... obeyed this young, rustic, Feudal Lord? Or was it just the suggestion that I wouldn't that made me not allow them?
"You deserved a good sleep."
I looked at him - he had already picked up his scroll and was reading it again. "I did."
"Did you have a pleasant dream?"
"... I did."
"And was it a good memory?"
I was about to answer, and then paused. How had he known it was a memory? I hadn't said that. Carefully, lest he notice his slip, I said, "more or less yes. It was."
"Ah. And do you remember where you came from now?"
When I shook my head a second time, I was not entirely lying. "No - not completely."
He looked up at me, his roan eyes narrowing. "I see. Well," he gave a small sigh and went back to his reading, "I'm sure it will come to you with time."
"Yes," I agreed. "I'm sure it will."
by Vega
~~~
Dawn crept in slowly.
Eventually I got sick of staring at my wrist, trying to decipher the puzzle behind my latest injury, and crawled over to the door that led outside. I pushed it back and scooted forward until I was seated on the edge of the porch, one foot dangling above the garden path, one tucked under me, and my back against a supporting pillar.
The garden was enclosed with a low wall, painted a dark slate grey. There were trees of species I did not recognize, flowers in exotic shapes and colours in full bloom, their scents tickling my nose. There were twisting paths that created patters on the ground, low shrubberies, and a koi pond filled with the enormous goldfish-type creatures.
For a while I just watched the light slowly change from a night-dulled lavender to a bleeding red, to tangerine orange, coral, light yellow, and finally the white of a newly-risen sun. The patterns on the leaves and ground shifted subtly and I pursed my lips and enjoyed the fresh breeze on my face.
Then I looked at my wrist.
I still lacked the ability to bend my elbow without outside help, so without Kagewaki there to slip my arm into it's sling, I remained stiff-jointed. I also slept with my bandaged arm outside of my kimono, so it was slipping precariously around the torso as I sat. A few quick tugs and shifts and I thought I had it closed.
The bandages that had been protecting the burns on my wrist had been... cut away it looked like. The edges weren't frayed enough for it to have been me tearing it, or anyone else for that matter. Inside of the cut-away parts was a small set of newly-forming bruises, in that familiar crescent shape of a jaw and teeth - and two tiny punctures right were the biter's canines would have been.
Why had I been bitten? And what had bitten me? The marks were to big to be an animal, a pet of some sort, too small to be that demon again... I shuddered momentarily as the full force of the nightmare slammed back into my conscious.
The man in the death's head mask. He had bitten me, right there.
I screwed my eyes shut and leaned my head back and tried to calm my breathing.
It had been a NIGHTMARE. It had NOT BEEN real. I had probably felt some mouse or something bite me in the middle of the night, attracted by the scent of the ointment, and translated that into my dreamscape. It happened.
I looked at the wound again.
Except this was too big to be a mouse.
I clutched my wrist with the other hand, ignoring the pain, and ground my teeth together to prevent me from crying out.
What the HELL was happening to me?!
I was so confused. Where was I? Why was I here? How did I get here in the first place?
As I thought these questions the dream-voice rose in my mind, asking the same.
"Where are you from?" he had said. And my answer had been:
"I... I don't remember..."
"Who are you?"
"I... don't... remember..."
And I had screamed something else. "I AM NOT A MIKO!"
"You are not a Miko," the voice had repeated. He had sounded slightly amused. "You are not a youkai. You are not hanyou. And yet you have the power to make metal move without touching it. You speak an ungodly language. You dress as a man does. And your eyes are the colour of a morning sky."
I chewed on these words. Miko... I was not a warrior priestess. Youkai. I didn't know what that I was. Hanyou. I had heard Kagewaki say it, but I didn't know it's meaning either.
The power to make metal move? I hadn't done that. Dress as a man? I looked down at myself. What had I been wearing when I had first come here? Ungoldy language... well, I spoke English, not Japanese. Except now that I had this earring... again my thoughts shied away from contemplation of magic.
This was just too surreal.
And my eyes are the colour of a morning sky. I wonder what that meant. I suddenly wished for a looking glass. Were my eyes blue? I didn't remember.
I hadn't lied to the voice. I didn't know who I was. Where I was. Why I was. I closed my eyes and concentrated, trying to move past the trauma of the night I was injured, trying to reach back further, to a darkened bedroom, my soft bed with a real pillow... The aching throb of fire beneath my skin blocked my way. The pain was like a wall in my mind that I couldn't get past.
I opened my eyes once more and leaned back against the pillar and stared at the finely-hewn wooden beams that made up the overhanging roof above my head. I would NOT cry.
Several moments passed before I heard the door to my room slide open and Kagewaki's voice calling softly, "Ashrinu? Have you awakened?"
"Out here," I replied and flicked my eyes over to him. He was dressed in a simple white kimono today, and not his customary indigo.
His own eyes momentarily widened before he stepped gracefully out onto the porch and sat cross legged beside me. "You certainly are stronger than I have given you credit for," he said softly after a moment of not-quite-tense silence.
"How do you mean?"
"Most people in your position would still be bed ridden. You have managed to throw off much of the mag– weakness."
I lowered my head and narrowed my eyes at him. His returning smile was innocent.
"Let me kiss you again," he said softly, unfolding himself and leaning towards me.
I jerked my head back and turned my face to the side. "Why?"
He blinked and paused. Then he lifted my good hand to his face, pressing light kisses to my fingertips. "You are beautiful," he said, and his voice was heart-achingly sincere. I tried to resist the lure of the reactions this raised in me, and was only partially successful. There was something about Kagewaki that made me want to surrender to him when he was nearby. "From the first moment I saw you I knew you were different. You were something more. I want you."
I pulled my hand out of his grip harshly, and I think it shocked him. "I am NOT different," I spat. "I am NOT a Miko. I am NOT a hanyou or a youkai, whatever they are."
He tried to touch my cheek and again I jerked my head to the side, out of reach. "But your eyes..." he began, his tone becoming slightly pleading.
"What ABOUT my eyes? I can't SEE my eyes!"
He stared at me a moment, then called out to a servant. I didn't catch all he said, he spoke so rapidly, but the man returned with two small bundles and set them down beside Kagewaki. He sat back in the lotus position, this time facing me, his knees almost touching mine.
Unsure wether or not I should be comfortable with his proximity, I instead turned my attention to the first square of folded cloth. As Kagewaki slipped the knot and folded back the smooth fabric I saw... myself.
With a gasp of shock I reached out and he allowed me to take the mirror in my hand.
My face... that is what I looked like? My cheekbones were high, delicate, my skin fair compared to those around me. My hair was light and reddish, matted and dirty, oily from the grime of my injury and days gone without a bath.
But my eyes... they were blue. The bluest blue I'd ever seen. An ethereal glowing blue that could not have possibly been natural. My iris was shot through with white flares of lightning, and the rims were a midnight colour. The pupils were strangest of all, however, slender and almost beast-like in their narrowness.
My god... what WAS I?
Trembling, I dropped the mirror. It landed with a dull thunk on the polished wooden floor and Kagewaki let it lie.
"What... what...?" I said, and could hear the tremor in my voice.
He reached up to cradle my cheek in his hand once more and this time I let him. His voice was like hot cinnamon. "My guess is that, somewhere, in your lineage, is youkai blood. From the fineness of your features, I'd say a taiyoukai."
"Youkai?" I repeated, knowing the earring still wasn't translating properly.
The corner of Kagewaki's lip curled slightly. "Youkai is... a monster. Like the one that attacked you... a demon."
"A... a demon?"
"Yes. But not all are..." he paused a moment, as if searching for the right word. "Villains. Some are very human-like." I couldn't tell from the inflection of the word 'human' wether or not this was a desired trait. I hoped it was. "A taiyoukai," he continued, obviously anticipating my next question, "Is a youkai ruler. A prince, a king."
"Taiyoukai..." I breathed. The word... the concept... was vaguely familiar... why?
"Do you understand?"
I shook my head. Oh, I understood, but I didn't want to believe it.
"I think you do understand what I am saying." Kagewaki leaned close again, and again that heat spread through my body, my confusion drowning in waves of trust. I tried to fight them off. They felt unnatural. But I couldn't. I wanted Kagewaki to kiss me.
I opened my lips slightly, my breathing becoming heavier. He was pressing his face close to mine. I felt his nose brush past mine and then... my eyes fell on the other bundle at his feet.
"What's that?" I pointed to it, and he broke away and sat backwards, annoyance flashing briefly over his features before being replaced by indulgence.
"These are your garments," he said, picking up this bundle of fabric as well. He untied the silk that covered them and handed me the rough remains of what had been my shirt - vitriol or something had eaten clean through the right arm and most of the torso. The rest looked like it had been spattered with battery acid, holes and punctures splashing over the fabric.
The jeans were in better shape. Only the waistband on the right-hand side had been eaten away, though the legs sported the same acidic holes as the shirt. My doc martins were next, heavy soled shoes... or at least, they had been. I must had stepped in a pulled of the monster's saliva.
Shuddering, forcing back the urge to vomit, I shoved the clothes back at him. If this is what that thing had done to my clothing, it was a wonder my right arm still existed at all. From the pile of silk that had hidden them a melted lump of metal slipped out to land beside the mirror.
I plucked it up from the porch with my good hand and turned it over. It was my watch! I had forgotten entirely that it was even missing - that it even existed! I looked at my ruined wrist, and once more forced my gorge down.
Inspecting the face, I saw that the second hand was still ticking away merrily beneath the half-melted glass, bent in such a way that it was able to sneak under the damage and keep going as it passed.
"The metal moves of it's own volition," Kagewaki said, an unknowing imitation of the dream-voice's accusation. I looked up to find him staring at the watch face as well. "What sort of magic makes it revolve, and for what purpose?"
I knew then that my worst suspicions were true. No longer could I tell myself that I was simply in rural Japan... somehow, someway, I was in ANCIENT rural Japan. EVERYbody knew what a watch was, even those who chose not to use electricity.
I set the watch down carefully on the mirror. "It's mechanics," I said, and was only mildly shocked to hear my voice crackling. "Springs and wires and the like, it makes the metal bar move like that - tic-tic-tic, once every second."
"Second?"
"It's called a watch. It's used to tell time. It's ... like a portable hourglass."
"Fascinating," Kagewaki admitted and picked it up to study it more closely. "So it is not magic?"
"No," I said.
He held the lump of melted metal and glass back to me. "What does it mean, when the bars are positioned like that?"
I studied them, trying to see around the lumps of browned and bubbled glass. "It means it was three-forty. About... four hours after midnight."
He nodded, as if confirming the time I said as the one he knew it was. I wondered at the strange reaction. Perhaps it was around then that this Naraku brought me to him?
Naraku.
I looked back at my wrist, as the small crescent moon punctures. Kagewaki followed my gaze. Unflinchingly he said, "Oh, your bandages have come away." He made no mention of the new wound.
His lack of reaction set off all sorts of warning alarms in my head. I wanted to say something, to ask him if he knew how they came to be there, but he was suddenly kissing me again, and I could taste the tea that he'd had this morning, the warmth of his skin... and a slight coppery tang that I couldn't identify.
Then he pulled back and, looking into my eyes, said, "Forget about your wrist. I believe you are well enough to bathe today - would you like that?"
I nodded. A bath would be nice.
I looked at my wrist again, and tried to remember if there was something important I was supposed to connect with the blood spots on the bandage. I couldn't. Kagewaki scooped me up in his arms and walked through the garden towards a small house on the far side, near a part of his house that I was unfamiliar with.
I had never been this far from my room, and it was an eye-opener to see how very large this place was. This wasn't a house - it was a palace. He followed my wide-eyed gaze with a chuckle. "It is big, yes. My father was the Lord of this region. I inherited it after he passed away."
"I'm sorry," I said softly. I rubbed my cheek into his smooth chest, which was bared slightly by the gap in his soft white kimono. "I would have liked to have met him."
Kagewaki looked down into my face. "He thought you were very lovely."
I blinked. The confusion must have been evident on my face.
"My father was here to receive you when Naraku brought you to us. He was killed that night, however, by a spider youkai."
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" I said again. "I had no idea."
Kagewaki's smile weakened minutely. "You were asleep. Do not trouble yourself over it."
I said nothing more until we reached the small hut. He called into the house as he set me down on the steps that lead into it, and the same young woman as before scrambled to light a fire underneath the building in a stone cairn.
Kagewaki helped me into the room above the oven and I saw that it was divided between a bench and floorspace and a large wooden tub of water. The water was faintly green in colour, scented with something floral, and I could see the wisps of steam rising from the water as it began to heat up.
He helped me onto the bench, then with a quick smile, exited.
The young lady entered to help me undress and climb into the basin, but then left. I wondered if I was to be left alone when Kagewaki walked back in. I yipped and tried to hide against the side of the tub, but it was awkward because my bandaged right arm dangled out the side.
"Do not be ashamed," he said softly, "I do not intend on taking advantage of you. The doctor has been called away to attend other matters and I am the only one in the household who knows how to properly care for your wounds. Please."
He knelt beside the tub and turned his attention to the bandages, pulling them off slowly and gently. His gentle rhythmic touch, his presence, and the hot water were all soothing, and I felt my eyelids drooping shut. I hadn't slept very well at all in the past few days, and it was starting to take it's toll on me.
"Why don't you sleep?" I heard him say, but his voice sounded distant.
"I don't... wanna..." I sighed, even as I cradled my head on my good arm, which I had been resting on the polished rim of the basin. "... nightmares..."
"There will be no nightmare today," he said gently, and I could feel the wet scrape of the soft cloth he was dabbing against my overly-sensitised burns. "I promise."
I didn't have time to decide wether or not I believed him before I drifted off to sleep.
~~~
I was dreaming again.
I could feel the warm water around me, strong hands cradling my head, keeping it above it. But that was distant. That was far away.
I was standing by the doorway. I was wearing new patent leather shoes. I hated them. They had bows on the toe and I hated bows. They had been a gift from my great grandmother, the lady with the bright red hair that she kept it two buns on the top of her head to hide... to hide what? I didn't know, she had never shown me.
My great-grandmother had always worn the buns in her red hair – it had never occurred to me that it was strange that my great-grandmother looked the same age as my mother's sisters.
Great-grandmother was standing in the kitchen with mother, and I was spying.
They were having an argument, although over what I did not know. I could hear them shouting, but I didn't understand all the words. They were shouting in that strange language great-grandmother spoke, the one I didn't know much of.
My mother had trouble following it too, and great-grandmother switched into halting, heavily accented English.
"Why do you not come and visit us more often!" great-grandmother was saying. "The others want to see her. We barely know our own decedent."
"She's not one of you!" my mother was shouting back. "She's a human!"
Great-grandmother shook her head. "Her father was a great man. He was also one of us. You loved him, didn't you? Can't you indulge his side of the family, out of respect for his memory? Can't you visit us in Japan every once and a while?"
"No! I don't want my daughter to have anything to do with you creatures!"
"Your husband was a 'creature'. Why use such harsh words for those of us with less human blood than him?"
My mother was crying, and I wanted to go ask her why, but I also didn't want to see great-grandmother. Mother said that she was... a freak.
"My daughter is human," my mother insisted around sobs.
"She has her ancestor's eyes," great-grandmother said softly, "the eyes of canine youkai."
"No!" my mother screamed, and I heard the crash of something breaking. "Get out of my house! GET OUT!"
I ran up to my room, crying myself, scared. I hid under my bed. I heard the downstairs door slam and great-grandma's car pulling away from the curb. The phone rang and I heard mother answer it, striving to sound normal.
The next day mother and I went to stay in a hotel. We stayed there for three months. When we finally went back home, our house had moved to somewhere very far away - we had to drive for two days straight to get there.
And we never saw great-grandmother again.
Eventually, the memory faded from my mind, and as I grew up, I forgot about my great-grandmother entirely.
And I wore violet-tinted sunglasses to school.
~~~
When I awakened, I was bundled up in a blanket and propped against the trunk of a rather large tree. I looked around and found Kagewaki leaning against the tree beside me, slowly reading a scroll as he unfurled it.
It was early afternoon, judging by the type of light that was diffused by the leaves above us.
I sat up slightly, mildly shocked at my new surroundings.
"Oh, awake are you?" he turned his eyes to me, setting aside the scroll. Before it rolled closed on itself I tried to read the writing - it looked like it had been scratched out by a twig, rough and runic looking. Not at all like the scripted kanji that I had seen as tattoos and on commercials back home.
Back home...
"I... yes."
"Did you have a nightmare? Was that voice back?"
I shook my head and felt the wet ends of my hair slapping gently against my cheeks and neck. It disturbed me briefly that he had washed my hair as I slept, even though I was grateful. Dirty hair smells and I was beginning to need a shampoo.
"See?" he said "Did I not promise?"
"You did," I admitted. "Thank you."
And that worried me. He had told me there would be no nightmares and there wasn't. How is it that nightmares... the voice... obeyed this young, rustic, Feudal Lord? Or was it just the suggestion that I wouldn't that made me not allow them?
"You deserved a good sleep."
I looked at him - he had already picked up his scroll and was reading it again. "I did."
"Did you have a pleasant dream?"
"... I did."
"And was it a good memory?"
I was about to answer, and then paused. How had he known it was a memory? I hadn't said that. Carefully, lest he notice his slip, I said, "more or less yes. It was."
"Ah. And do you remember where you came from now?"
When I shook my head a second time, I was not entirely lying. "No - not completely."
He looked up at me, his roan eyes narrowing. "I see. Well," he gave a small sigh and went back to his reading, "I'm sure it will come to you with time."
"Yes," I agreed. "I'm sure it will."