Title: Love or Something Like It

Author: Broncobabe007

Pairing/s: Radar/Klinger and a little Trapper/Hawkeye (I couldn't help myself)

Rating: PG13

Summary: Radar is a homophobic homosexual.

Notes: In response to Leigh's challenge. I used early Radar, y'know the one who drank the boys' gin.  This was beta-ed by the insane but lovable Corporal Katz.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Radar reached for his glasses and wondered briefly why he was sleeping on the floor. He recoiled slightly when his searching hand came to rest on a warm body. He sat bolt upright as he realised it was a warm, male, body. "No," he whispered, "Nonononono." He shuddered. No matter how many times he said no, it would still be yes.

When he joined the Army he thought he would stop being so…so wrong.  Ma had always told him it was `unnatural and immoral'. Father Alex had told him many times that people who did that would go to H-E-double hockey sticks.

Now here he was, lying with a man, as he should with a woman. A shudder raced down his spine. Maybe it was a dream, no, a nightmare.  His companion moved again and sighed. This was no nightmare; this was a dear friend of his in bed, naked.

As quietly as he could, Radar grabbed his glasses and clothes and returned to his own tent. Upon arrival he collapsed on his cot and let the tears fall freely until it was time to start the day. For possibly the first time ever, he considered faking sick. What was he supposed to do if he saw him? Would he even remember? They had been pretty drunk. He shook his head at the thought. Of course he'd remember - it wasn't the kind of thing one easily forgets. He soon dismissed throwing a sickie, as Henry needed him too much.

The day was chaotic but seemed, to Radar at least, to drag on. The staff were kept busy by the loads of wounded that came through, leaving him to sit in the office undisturbed. The sun had just set when the last casualty was moved to Post-Op. Trapper came into theoffice looking decidedly bored.

"Hey Radar, long time no see."

"Yes, sir," he replied, not looking up.

"So…you've been sitting in here watching dirty movies all day, right?"

Radar blushed and mumbled something unintelligible. Trapper just grinned. "Don't look so embarrassed, kiddo. I was only joking."

He nodded silently. `Kiddo'. It really hit him then. He might not be a kid anymore. Radar could not remember exactly what had happened but it might have been that. He shuddered at the thought. Losing hisvirginity was good… however, losing it to his male friend was, very, very bad.

"What's wrong, Radar?" Trapper obviously noticed the tremor.

"Nothing, sir." Even to his own ears his voice sounded weak.

"C'mon, tell your Uncle Trapper."

"It's just, um, just…. It's nothing. Why are you here anyway? Where's Hawkeye?" he asked.

"Subtle, Radar, real subtle. I'm here because I'm bored. Hawkeye is sleeping." An awkward silence sat between them. Trapper broke it abruptly. "Come with me."

Radar stood and followed without thinking. He soon found himself in the Swamp with a martini in his hand. "Okay, now tell me or I'll wake Hawkeye and tell him you did it."

Radar feigned terror before taking a small sip of his drink. He gasped as the liquid burned his throat. "I'd rather not talk about it," he said quietly.

Trapper softened. Whatever had the kid upset must be big. He wondered briefly if he should just leave it but a quick glance at the pain in Radar's eyes told him otherwise. "Would you feel better talking to Hawkeye?" he asked gently.

"I'd feel better not talking about it," Radar replied, looking down at his lap. Trapper put his arm around the young corporal, meaning it to be a comforting gesture. Radar jerked out of his grip. "Don't do that!" His voice had an edge of steel seldom heard within camp.

"I'm sorry, Radar. I didn't mean to upset you," Trapper apologised.

Radar took a few deep breaths and tried to calm down. Trapper didn't know, he couldn't know. "No, it's okay. I'm bein' stupid."

"Radar, I've known you over a year. You may be lot of things but stupid isn't one of them. I won't push it anymore tonight, but you have to tell me, or Hawkeye, or Henry, or even Father Mulcahy. Promise me that you'll tell someone, please."

"Maybe, sir." That was the best he could offer and Trapper would just have to accept that.

"Alright, kiddo."

Trapper watched the slumped form trudge back to his tent and sighed. He sat on his companion's cot and poked him until he woke. "Hawkeye, we have a problem," he whispered.

***

Radar spent the next few days hiding in the office. Even Henry was worried about him and made several clumsy attempts to reach out to him. He had been botching up reports left right and centre. Finally, Henry asked his two most trusted surgeons for help. "Guys, something's wrong with Radar and he won't tell me what it is."

Trapper and Hawkeye shared a look. Trapper spoke up. "Yeah, we know."

"Good. Do you know what it is?" Henry asked hopefully.
"I tried but the kid won't say anything."

"Try again?"

"I don't see why not," Hawkeye sighed.

That night they dragged a protesting Radar back to the Swamp. Hawkeye opened the little intervention. "What the heck is wrong?"

Radar just sat in stunned silence. Trapper poured him a drink, which he sipped slowly. He quickly snapped out of his stupor. "I don't want to talk about it," he repeated. "Come on, Radar! You can trust us, you know that."

"Yeah, I know." He made a split-second decision. "I slept with someone."

"That's great!" Hawkeye cried. He then looked at the boy's face. "Or not…. What's wrong? Who's the girl?"

Radar sighed. "Everything is wrong, mostly it is just that it wasn't a girl." He looked up to the two men, expecting to see horror. He was shocked to see only surprise.

"And…?" Trapper asked.

"And, well, that's it."

"Oh, Radar. Is that all?"

"Is that all?! What do you mean is that all?! I think that is pretty bad," he exclaimed.

"Why?" Hawkeye asked.

"Its wrong."

"Why?"

"It just is."
Trapper gave a frustrated groan. "There is nothing wrong with that. Its just another way of loving someone."

"But…but…but it's disgusting."

Hawkeye rolled his eyes. "Okay, Radar, what if, for example, Trapper or I were that way inclined? What would you think about that? Does that make either of us bad people?"

"Well, no, I guess not."

"So why is it any different for you?"

"It just is," he said stubbornly.

"No it bloody well isn't. Radar, you're still a good kid, just like Hawkeye and me are still good people," Trapper explained gently.

"You mean…?"

"Yeah," he replied, quietly.

"No. No. Nonono." Radar tore out of the Swamp, unwilling to accept the reality put before him.

Back in the Swamp, Hawkeye was looking strangely at Trapper. "You told him that, why?"

"We needed to do something."

"But that?"

"I know it isn't strictly true but--"

"Do you want it to be true?" Hawkeye cut in.

"Maybe."

"You're an idiot. Cute as hell but an idiot," Hawkeye whispered before leaning in to kiss his friend.

"Mmmm." Was all Trapper could manage.

Meanwhile, Radar turned towards the creek just west of the camp. Tears blurred his vision as he brushed passed the guard. "Radar?" came a gentle voice.

"Go `way," he cried, trying to hide his tears.

"It's me, Klinger."

He stopped cold before breaking into a galloping run. He needed to escape. He couldn't deal with this, not now, not ever. He heard someone yell, then footsteps following him. He was beyond caring; he just needed to get away. He eventually stopped, gasping for air under an ancient willow. He curled up in to a ball, still whimpering. A warm hand began rubbing his back and a warm voice muttered gentle nothings until gradually the whimpers ceased.

"Radar, I think we need to talk," Klinger whispered.

"Don't wanna," he mumbled.

"Do I repulse you?"

Radar sat up and looked at the man in front of him. "No," he said
quietly. "But I repulse me."

Without thinking Klinger pulled the boy into a tender embrace. Radar stiffened instantly but then relaxed and let himself be comforted.

"We can pretend it never happened, if you want."

"I can't," he said into his shoulder.

"Then I think we have a problem."

Radar pulled away and, again, studied the man before him. Klinger had always been tough but under the silver moon the hard exterior melted. In that instant his mind slowed, his heart sped up and he was hit with a wave of love, or at least something like it. Heart pounding in his chest, he leant forward and kissed the other man. When their lips' met, right and wrong ceased to be a problem. This was right. This was very, very right.