AN: I actually did some research for this. It can be seen in Sheba's speech about turkey rights. Unfortunately, my source is outdated, so forgive me if any of my info is incorrect...
Do they even celebrate Thanksgiving in Weyard? Oh, well...
Disclaimer: I do not own Golden Sun or any of the characters mentioned within this fic. I bet I could buy one off e-bay, though... *goes to look*
Chapter 2: Tribute to a Noble Bird (...and I ain't talking about no eagle...)
Ivan screamed and ran from the oversized bird. You might run, too, if you met a bird that was twice your size who's vocabulary consisted of "Gobble, gobble." Not that I'm afraid of being eaten... I just consider myself TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!! Ivan cried silently.
"Ivan, get back here! The turkey is NOT about to eat you!" Jenna called.
"That's easy for you to say... the beast can't look into your eyes with those small, black, beady things you call its eyes... IT IS PURE EVIL, I TELL YOU!!!" Ivan yelled fearfully.
"The turkey is dumber than Garet! It's too stupid to hurt you!" Jenna responded.
"That's not possible," Ivan retorted with a glance at the spiky-haired fire adept to whom they were referring. Garet was currently involved in a conversation with Melinda, a black rock with a clumsily-painted white smiley face on it. To Ivan, the conversation sounded rather one-sided, but Garet was probably having a grand time chatting with his earthen girl-friend.
"Okay, okay. I was exaggerating. Perhaps the turkey has a FEW more brain cells than Garet."
Along with Jenna, Ivan, and Garet was a variety of other adepts who were friends of theirs. The ever-silent Felix was nearby, his arms crossed, his face wearing the perpetual frown that had graced his features since before Ivan had known him. Beside him stood Picard, the eldest at their little gathering, the corner of his mouth curving upwards in a small smile at the comments of his argumentative friends. The last person there was Isaac, his eyes downcast as he counted the ants that formed a long line extending back to their nest.
"It seems like everyone is depressed nowadays!" Ivan noted.
Two people had not graced this gathering with their presence, Mia and Sheba. Mia was nowhere to be found, and Sheba was disgusted by the treatment of the "noble" bird known as the turkey.
*~*~* Ivan Flashback *~*~*
"Ivan, they treat the turkeys as though they're not even living, breathing beings!" Sheba exclaimed. She often confided in her fellow Jupiter adept. "The birds are bred to be eaten!"
"I suppose that that isn't so nice..." Ivan commented.
"It's barbaric is what it is! Those poor birds..."
"I can't imagine being raised to be eaten..."
"And the worst part?" Sheba murmured, tears coming to her eyes. "We eat them before they've fully matured. A turkey is ready to be eaten when it's about 20 weeks old."
"Erm," Ivan said, unsure how to respond.
"They raise the turkeys so that they're fat, they breed them so that they're fat, and on Thanksgiving, they're eaten!" Sheba said passionately. "Tell me, what do the turkeys have to be thankful for on Thanksgiving, eh? Nothing! It's a turkey holocaust, I tell you!"
"They're just birds," Ivan mumbled.
"Just birds? JUST BIRDS? Do you know how the turkeys feel about this?" Sheba hollered.
"Do you?"
"No, but that's beside the point! This is morally wrong!"
"Look, Sheba," Ivan began. "The 'turkey holocaust' is, well, life. The people raise the turkeys, the people kill the turkeys, and the people eat the turkeys. That's the way it's always been. You can't change it. It's not as though you can free the turkeys or anything--"
"That's it!" Sheba interrupted. Without saying more, she ran off, a crazed look in her eyes.
*~*~* end flashback *~*~*
"Which turkey do you want?" Felix asked no one in particular.
"What do you mean?" Ivan wondered aloud.
"We're cooking our OWN turkey this year. Saves quite a bit of money," Felix explained, looking exasperated.
"You mean we're going to choose our own turkey... and just kill it?" Ivan whispered, blanching.
"Very good, Ivan," Felix grumbled sarcastically at the same time Picard said, "Someone has to kill the turkey. Wouldn't you rather it was us so then we know that it's fresh?" Clearly, the Mercury adept was trying to console Ivan, but he only made the boy feel worse. We're going to KILL a turkey ourselves?
"Lets get... that one!" Jenna said, pointing at a particularly prominent bird.
"Gobble?" It squawked questioningly.
"Get it!" Picard yelled, lunging at the gargantuan bird, arms outstretched.
"Gobble!" the bird cried as it dodged Picard's assault, sending the adept sprawling face first in the dirt.
"I'll catch it!" Jenna exclaimed, joining the fray. Soon, Garet and Melinda had joined the chase as well, Garet throwing the rock ("I'm so sorry, Melinda!") at the obese bird's head. Felix watched disdainfully. Isaac had vanished.
With a sigh, Ivan decided to help them battle the ferocious bird. He focused his psynergy, then released it on the bird with a cry of "Sleep!" For an instant, everything froze, and then all his turkey-chasing friends (along with the bird itself) collapsed, asleep.
Felix hefted the bird on his shoulder, saying, "Come on, Ivan. Lets go. They'll follow when they awake." He walked away, not even waiting for Ivan to answer. Neither of them saw the shadowy figure in a nearby tree chuckle evilly. "All is going according to plan."
*~*~*
"Tis the season to be jolly. Fa la la la la--"
"Shut up already, Garet! Wrong holiday!"
"Sorry."
"Gobble?"
Felix and Ivan had gotten home with just enough time to put the turkey in a pin in their yard. Now it was running about in circles, chasing Ivan.
"Is it just me," Picard began, "or does Ivan really like the turkey? They've been running around like that for hours."
"I think that he's terrified of birds..." Jenna commented.
"Nonsense! Why would he be running with the turkey if he was afraid of it?"
"I actually think that he's running AWAY from it..." she mumbled.
Picard saw Ivan's mouth moving, and paused just long enough to make out the words, "I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!"
"You are correct, Jenna."
Suddenly, there was a loud knocking on the door. Jenna and Garet both rushed to open it, reaching the door at the same instant. In her eagerness to be the one to open the door, Jenna yanked it open hard and fast, slamming Garet in the head, causing him to fall down unconscious. "Oops..."
"Don't worry. He'll be fine. His skull is too thick for the door to have done any real damage," the figure at the door commented.
"Isaac!" Jenna said, glad, as always, to see the object of her affections.
"Hello, Jenna," he said with a smile. "Everyone, I need your help."
"Eh?" Garet wondered. He was sitting up, rubbing his head. Apparently, Isaac had been correct.
"After YOU all left and FORGOT me, someone came and freed the turkeys! Every last one!" Isaac explained.
"Really?"
"Yup. Now what's Ivan doing out there with the turkey?"
*~*~*
The whole GS crew (plus a turkey and Melinda) sat around a fireplace, musing. All of them were wondering who could have freed the turkeys, with the exception of Garet, who was wondering if green pasta tasted the same as yellow pasta.
"I've got it!" Garet suddenly shouted, startling everyone in the room. "They MUST taste the same, since they're both pasta!"
Everyone sighed and went back to thinking. Garet had been having similar outbursts the entire evening. There was complete silence, except for the merry cackling of the fire warming the room.
Silence... and then, "No, they're both pasta, but one is GREEN and the other is YELLOW."
"Who says we tar and feather Garet?" someone suggested. The idea was met with general approval, and before long everyone was running after Garet, Jenna with a bag of feathers and Ivan with glue, since they didn't have the proper liquid.
Ivan squirted glue after Garet, and Jenna and Isaac showered him in flowers. Felix watched, a small smile beginning to form on his stoic features. Picard smiled and shook his head, muttering something about "Crazy kids."
Everyone froze as the front door was thrown open, and Sheba entered, wearing a long trench-coat. "Sheba?" Ivan said, blinking his eyes rapidly at the sight that met his eyes. "You've gained a bit of weight..."
"QUITE a bit," Garet said.
It was true; Sheba was round as a pumpkin. Suddenly, something moved beneath the coat, and an angry "Gobble!" could be clearly heard from somewhere near her bottom. Suddenly, the coat fell off, revealing Sheba sitting atop a huge mound of turkeys.
"YOU freed those turkeys!" Isaac gasped.
"And? Would you rather they were eaten?"
"Um..."
And so they found themselves seated around their dining table, seven adepts to about twenty large turkeys.
"Felix, would you like to say Grace?"
"Sure. Thank you for this fine meal, and my friends," he paused, and with a nervous glance at the turkeys, he continued hurriedly. "as well as these lovely avian companions." He looked at the turkeys again, all of them staring at him with those beady eyes of theirs, and he began to sweat. "Also, thank you that this meal is not one of turkey, but of ham! Yes! So much better!"
Seeing a large bird glaring at him, he said a hurried, "Amen" and began to eat, along with his friends.
"Hey," Ivan said to the turkey which had been chasing him earlier between mouthfuls of food. "Can I call you Gobbles?"
"GOBBLE!!!"
*~*~*
AN: Well, there's Chapter 2! Can you tell that I've been watching "Chicken Run"?