AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY
By : mirkwood-elf-2931 & Thala
CHAPTER 17
Sitting, waiting, wondering, contemplating, seeing.
Thalawen allowed herself this time, to open herself in the place she most
loathed; darkness. The one object that Thalawen felt has as much a soul as she
herself. In this cubbyhole of a room she let her mind wander, let it light upon
things that needed to be known; questions that needed answers.
Would there be more trouble from Mordor? Even though the Ring had been
destroyed, Sauron's minions were still at large, roaming Middle-earth; entities
with no masters. Would they strive to complete their dead and defeated master's
wishes? Or would they simply fade back into the darkness; back into the pits
from which they were born? There were answers, right before her, if she could
only control her power of foresight.
Images wandered deftly through her mind, a swirling black pit of seething evil.
She was within the enemy's gates, but which way to turn, where to go?
A sudden face, features blurred, came to her. Black mass of hair, pale pale
skin, as white as the caps of the mountains. Then, blood red, gushing as a
river would flow through rapids. Spattered blood, smeared blood of a being
washing away, leaving the owner cold as stone and just as lifeless.
Thalawen screamed into her hand, tremors ran rampant throughout her body,
uncontrolled. Weeping, she cleansed herself of the image at hand, but it would
never fully leave her, always stored at the back of her thoughts. She fell to
the floor as if the falling-sickness were upon her. Crying, her tears unabashed
hidden in the darkness of the solitary room.
The tears soaked into the rug upon the floor, possibly traveling deep into the
wood beneath. She buried her face in her palms and tried to calm, to soothe her
own fears, much in the same way her mother and grandmother, even as Arwen had
often done.
Regulating her breathing, she sat up once more. She had not found the answer
she had been looking for. At least not the ones she was expecting.
A soft knock on the door made her jump, taking her breath away once more.
"Yes?" She asked, but obviously not loud enough, she realized she'd been
whispering.
"Thala? Are you in there?"
"Yes. Who is it?" Her voice seemed foreign to her, as if it were not coming
from her, but as if someone were standing right behind her, using her as the
puppet in a ventriloquist's show.
When the door opened she had not in the least expected it to be Legolas. "Are
you alright, Thala?"
A small sigh escaped her constricted chest, but it loosened more quickly at the
sight of him. "I am now," She spoke true. "What are you doing here?" She
inquired.
"I heard something from this room." He was still half through the doorway. "May
I come in?"
"Yes, yes of course," She felt foolish for not inviting him in, but it soon
passed. Thalawen picked herself up off the floor and went to light some
candles.
Full darkness had finally fallen while in the midst of her trance.
"Thalawen, are you sure you're all right? What were you doing in the dark?" He
was puzzled by coming into her room; seeing her on the floor, surrounded by the
shadows she loathed.
Hearing her full name come from his lips warmed a part of her heart that only
belonged to him. Having her back to him was convenient, he could not read the
emotions on her face, but she no longer wished to hide. Hiding made her a
coward, and she was a warrior, but above all else, she was a woman; a woman
still in love with a man she could never have. "Did you know that I still love you,
Legolas?" She turned around, finally confronting what she tried so hard to
forget.
The question caught him unawares and he was confused, but only for a moment.
Then sadness for what could never be clouded his eyes. "No, I thought you loved
me no more."
"That is what I wanted you to think, so I could protect myself from being hurt
by you, even though you did it unintentionally."
Neither noticed they were speaking in whispers, nor that they had changed to
Elvish.
Legolas stepped forward, toward the maiden before him. Landailyn had been
right, Thalawen loved him still, but it did not change how he felt about either
of them. In being with them both, talking with them and just being around the
two again, he knew now for sure of what he had questioned to his own heart only
five months before. "I am sorry I do not feel the same." And this, one could
tell, was truly meant. "Anything would I give to make you happy, Thalawen, but
I cannot make it so."
A silent tear trickled toward her chin. "This much is true. This much I have
known," Her voice shook with the effort of speech.
Legolas wiped her tear away with his thumb. "For what do you lament? That we
can't be together, or for something that is unknown to me?"
She eluded his questions and tried to block the haunting images in her vision
that no one should ever have to see, but soon, many would witness the vision
come to life and before that time she wanted to make this known to him alone.
"It seems I have loved you my whole life, ere even I met you, which is true,
but I just wanted to say..." She faltered, her voice failed her in this
critical time of their relationship. She swallowed the lump in her throat and
pushed out the words she longed to say. "I love you, Legolas, and I always
will. Nothing will change my heart and I know I will forever be alone because
of this." Looking deeply into his eyes she said it once more, to free her
spirit of this trapped emotion. "I love you."
And with each word more pain grew in his light blue eyes, until he could no
longer look at her face, but stare at the floor below.
"There is more fighting yet to come," This made his gaze snap back to hers.
"And in that battle terrible things will be done, deeds which will have
everlasting effects."
With a slight start, Legolas realized the importance in these statements. "Did
you see this? Is that what you were doing in here?" His questions whipping out
as much as a general's.
She shook her head to shew away what she considered unimportant queries. "I
just wanted you to know that in this fight to come, I will protect you."
He felt he would have laughed at this if she had not looked so serious. "What
about you?"
"That doesn't matter now. Just know that you are safe. I will forever be
watching you." With that said, she went out of her room to go in search of
Arwen, leaving Legolas behind, dumbfounded and utterly confused.
*~ *~ * ~ * ~* ~*
"I watch them sail for Valinor and know I'll see them never-more. I stay behind
with the light of a thousand torches; it is my body that fire scorches. Can I
find my way home, or will I forever be alone, here..." Thalawen silently
mumbled this song of old in the Elvish tongue in which it was taught to her by
her grandmother.
Interrupting, a knock echoed loudly off the walls
in the large open space of her room.
Thalawen sat cross-legged on the edge of her bed and looked wearily over at the
door, hoping it was not the prince filled with another twenty questions she did
not want to answer. "Come in."
Hesitantly, Landailyn walked through. "How are you doing?" She asked right
away, the door creaking behind her as it was being shut.
The Noldor Elf gave a small one shouldered shrug. "I'm fine..."
Landailyn barely nodded, her attention suddenly lost in her thoughts. Snapping
her eyes upward only when Thalawen's voice was drowning them out.
"By the way, that was some good timing you had on that ship. I knew not how
long those men would have kept away from Arwen. Good plan too."
"Thanks. I'm certainly glad you came when you did as well, I would not have
been able to hang onto that cliff edge...Faeroth would have made sure of that.
And Thala, you cannot prevent every minor or major thing that happens to
Arwen." She glanced down at her hands, lowering her voice. "I know; I've
tried." Landailyn remembered the time of taking Thalawen's place during their
conflict with Saruman.
Thalawen remained voiceless to this statement, rising and venturing out onto
her stone carved balcony into the darkening atmosphere of the day. She knew
that Landailyn was right, but she was not ready to face this truth and it was
more than hard to admit it to herself, let alone other people. "Something
doesn't feel right, Landailyn." She glanced over at the blonde Elf that had
followed her. "Can you not sense it? The air is heavy when it should be
transparent; however, it hangs on me like the weighty water of morning dew upon
fragile leaves." This was uttered under Thalawen's breath as she leaned over
the balustrade of the small balcony.
Looking Thalawen up and down, studying her as if she would study a bug under
glass, Landailyn finally spoke what was on her mind. "Maybe you are just
nervous because of all the things that have happened to us in the past. Do not
go places expecting trouble to follow you, Thala. You cannot live like that,"
She criticized, wanting the Elf not to look out so much for others, but to take
care of herself once in a while. She had become tired of the way Thalawen was
constantly on guard, always looking after she and Arwen, always looking over
her shoulder like she expected an Orc to jump out at her at any moment. Her
never-ending vigilance was the source of Landailyn's annoyance.
Even if at times she did the same things, it was not constant, or so she
believed.
"Can you not relax, just this once, and enjoy what is going on around us?" she
asked angrily. "Aragorn and Arwen are so happy together and instead of
celebrating their plans to soon be wed, you pretend to be happy and spend your
time watching the grounds. I have not seen you in three days!" With that said
she started toward the door. "When you want to socialize again, Thala, you know
where to find your friends!" And she slammed the hinged slab of wood behind
her.
Thalawen could hear her boots padding down the hallway away from her room, as
the Elf stalked off, not bothering to hide her anger and annoyance from others.
It was true, she had barely come out of her room since she had developed that
'headache' in the market three days before.
Silently, she put her head in her hands and covered her face to block the
memory of Landailyn's angry face; her angry words. What had caused her mood to
change so abruptly? Before she had seemed fine with Thalawen's protectiveness.
Suddenly, distant crying and shouting alerted her
sharp hearing. Horns sounded from somewhere on the House, above the level she
was on.
Thalawen looked up and surveyed the land that stretched far and wide before
her, dread knotting and twisting in the pit of her stomach.
It had begun. Three days later, her vision had finally shown itself.
"Please not today..." She whispered, but she knew her prayers were for naught,
as soon as she saw the distant sight of a dark thirty-foot wide army.
TBC ...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
mirkwood-elf-2931 :
Oh no! You were almost right, Sarah! It wasn't a cat fight, but Landy did just
yell at Thalawen! Hope no one thinks too ill of her for that! LOL She's
just not having a good day again! ;)
Thala :
When 'falling-sickness' is mentioned in this chapter, it refers to Epilepsy and
the seizures that come with this disease. As I have no idea as to whether they
had this disease, being men I'm pretty sure they did as its present in every
civilization, but I've never read or heard about it. So, I'm going to stick
with what the Romans called Julius Caesar's Epileptic seizures:
'falling-sickness'.
