My Heart in Your Hands
by Princess of Monkeys
Chapter 10
Disclaimer: Beer is God's way of saying that he loves us and wants us to be happy...
After dinner, Rogue flopped down on the couch in subbasement 17, which had become an impromptu rec room during the reconstruction. Jean was watching some random sitcom- they all seemed the same to Rogue- and raised an eyebrow at her, but said nothing.
Rogue thought all sitcoms were stupid, but tonight she wanted something to take her mind off her situation. _There is no situation!_ She reminded herself. _I'm just going to go there, tell him he can't use me for information, and tell him to get lost._
Remembering who was in the room with her, she reigned in her thoughts. _Besides, I didn't want to be thinking about it anyways!_
The show ended, and another one came on, and still she and Jean sat there in silence. However, it was soon broken by the sound of Kitty's voice. "Oh, Rogue, there you are! I was looking all over for you!" Kitty smiled at Jean as she dragged Rogue up off the couch and whisked her out of the room.
Out in the relative safety of the hallway, Kitty said "Rogue, what were you doing in there? What if she, like, heard you or something?"
"Kitty, unlike some people, Ah do not think loudly! Now what did ya want?" Rogue responded, suddenly irritated. _Kitty is getting way too into this whole having secrets thing!_
"I do not think loudly!" Kitty huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and stamping her foot.
*bamf* "Nien, Katzchen, but you do talk loudly," Kurt piped up from behind her.
"Aagh!" Throwing her hands up in the air, Kitty disgustedly left them, phasing through a nearby wall.
Kurt and Rogue shared a laugh. "Thanks elf-boy- ya just saved me from a fate worse than death!"
"Vhat, more of Katzchen's fashion advice?" He quipped.
"Yah, somethin' like that." Leaving Kurt still laughing behind her, she went back to the shared room, hoping for some peace and quiet- she had reading to do for English, and Macbeth was one of the few Shakespeare plays she actually liked.
She had been reading for quite a while when Jean and Kitty came in for bed. Jean, who had never seen Rogue actually reading a schoolbook before (though she knew it had to happen sometime, because the girl wasn't failing everything), said curiously "Rogue, aren't you going to go to sleep?"
"Yah, eventually... Ah have a test," she said vaguely. "Ah'll jus' go study in the rec room or somethin'." Gathering up her school supplies, she quickly left the room, closing the door firmly behind her.
"Uh, didn't you guys have detention today?" Jean asked, a dubious look on her face. "What did she do in there for an hour and a half, if she wasn't studying?"
_Oh no, quick, make something up!_ Kitty thought. Rogue had already done her homework, but she had needed to have some excuse to be out of the room, otherwise it would be too hard for her to sneak out without waking up Jean. Laughing nervously, she said "Oh, you know Rogue, always totally procrastinating about everything. She just, like, slept through detention!"
"Jean laughed along with her, and Kitty was relieved; Jean had seemed to buy her excuse. The two continued to ready themselves for bed, and when Jean wasn't looking, Kitty set her alarm for two in the morning. When it went off, she was going to claim that one of the guys must have set it as a practical joke, and she'd make some excuse and go check if Rogue was back. They'd agreed on that part during detention- Rogue was going to just stay on the couch, and claim she'd fallen asleep while studying. Hopefully, no one would suspect anything. Climbing into bed, she tried to fall asleep.
Rogue sat down on the couch, feeling restless. She still had a half hour to kill before she was going to leave, and she tried to write, but she couldn't concentrate; her thoughts were all twisted up inside her head.
Part of her wanted him to really like her, wanted Kitty to be right. But she needed him to just want to use her and trick her, because then she could just reject him, and all these confusing feelings would just fade away into a nice, safe emotion like contempt or hate. Sure, it would hurt, but not half as bad as it would if he really wanted her.
Her feelings would go away, and her dreams were just that- dreams. She would be all right, alone like always. She would be perfectly fine. She couldn't have him; she couldn't have anyone, and she could be all right with that- as long as he didn't want her. Because if Kitty was right, if he really was falling for her, it would break her heart.
Rogue looked at the clock, and got up from the couch. 11:30. Time to go meet her doom. Smiling mirthlessly, she thought _may as well get this over with as quick as possible._ She headed for the door.
by Princess of Monkeys
Chapter 10
Disclaimer: Beer is God's way of saying that he loves us and wants us to be happy...
After dinner, Rogue flopped down on the couch in subbasement 17, which had become an impromptu rec room during the reconstruction. Jean was watching some random sitcom- they all seemed the same to Rogue- and raised an eyebrow at her, but said nothing.
Rogue thought all sitcoms were stupid, but tonight she wanted something to take her mind off her situation. _There is no situation!_ She reminded herself. _I'm just going to go there, tell him he can't use me for information, and tell him to get lost._
Remembering who was in the room with her, she reigned in her thoughts. _Besides, I didn't want to be thinking about it anyways!_
The show ended, and another one came on, and still she and Jean sat there in silence. However, it was soon broken by the sound of Kitty's voice. "Oh, Rogue, there you are! I was looking all over for you!" Kitty smiled at Jean as she dragged Rogue up off the couch and whisked her out of the room.
Out in the relative safety of the hallway, Kitty said "Rogue, what were you doing in there? What if she, like, heard you or something?"
"Kitty, unlike some people, Ah do not think loudly! Now what did ya want?" Rogue responded, suddenly irritated. _Kitty is getting way too into this whole having secrets thing!_
"I do not think loudly!" Kitty huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and stamping her foot.
*bamf* "Nien, Katzchen, but you do talk loudly," Kurt piped up from behind her.
"Aagh!" Throwing her hands up in the air, Kitty disgustedly left them, phasing through a nearby wall.
Kurt and Rogue shared a laugh. "Thanks elf-boy- ya just saved me from a fate worse than death!"
"Vhat, more of Katzchen's fashion advice?" He quipped.
"Yah, somethin' like that." Leaving Kurt still laughing behind her, she went back to the shared room, hoping for some peace and quiet- she had reading to do for English, and Macbeth was one of the few Shakespeare plays she actually liked.
She had been reading for quite a while when Jean and Kitty came in for bed. Jean, who had never seen Rogue actually reading a schoolbook before (though she knew it had to happen sometime, because the girl wasn't failing everything), said curiously "Rogue, aren't you going to go to sleep?"
"Yah, eventually... Ah have a test," she said vaguely. "Ah'll jus' go study in the rec room or somethin'." Gathering up her school supplies, she quickly left the room, closing the door firmly behind her.
"Uh, didn't you guys have detention today?" Jean asked, a dubious look on her face. "What did she do in there for an hour and a half, if she wasn't studying?"
_Oh no, quick, make something up!_ Kitty thought. Rogue had already done her homework, but she had needed to have some excuse to be out of the room, otherwise it would be too hard for her to sneak out without waking up Jean. Laughing nervously, she said "Oh, you know Rogue, always totally procrastinating about everything. She just, like, slept through detention!"
"Jean laughed along with her, and Kitty was relieved; Jean had seemed to buy her excuse. The two continued to ready themselves for bed, and when Jean wasn't looking, Kitty set her alarm for two in the morning. When it went off, she was going to claim that one of the guys must have set it as a practical joke, and she'd make some excuse and go check if Rogue was back. They'd agreed on that part during detention- Rogue was going to just stay on the couch, and claim she'd fallen asleep while studying. Hopefully, no one would suspect anything. Climbing into bed, she tried to fall asleep.
Rogue sat down on the couch, feeling restless. She still had a half hour to kill before she was going to leave, and she tried to write, but she couldn't concentrate; her thoughts were all twisted up inside her head.
Part of her wanted him to really like her, wanted Kitty to be right. But she needed him to just want to use her and trick her, because then she could just reject him, and all these confusing feelings would just fade away into a nice, safe emotion like contempt or hate. Sure, it would hurt, but not half as bad as it would if he really wanted her.
Her feelings would go away, and her dreams were just that- dreams. She would be all right, alone like always. She would be perfectly fine. She couldn't have him; she couldn't have anyone, and she could be all right with that- as long as he didn't want her. Because if Kitty was right, if he really was falling for her, it would break her heart.
Rogue looked at the clock, and got up from the couch. 11:30. Time to go meet her doom. Smiling mirthlessly, she thought _may as well get this over with as quick as possible._ She headed for the door.