My Heart in Your Hands
by Princess of Monkeys
Chapter 32
Just to let you all know, I know nothing about how the brain works- all I've got are dim recollections from intro to psych, which I took a really long time ago. So hopefully this is all making some sort of sense, but if it doesn't, let me know and I'll try to explain it out better. Honestly, I really don't even know where this chapter came from- maybe my subconscious stepped in and wrote it for me, I don't know.
After the doors slid shut behind Remy, Charles asked "Still no change in her condition, Hank?" The other man came to stand beside him, replying in the negative. "No, but there has been steady brain activity since she was brought in last night. The strange part is, her brain waves show patterns similar to REM sleep, which is when people who are asleep usually dream. Normally, REM sleep only lasts for a short period of time, maybe a half hour at the longest, but she has been showing these brain waves for the past twelve hours. It's almost like she's been continually dreaming for the last twelve hours." The lines of worry etched onto the Professor's face deepened. "And how are her injuries?"
"That's the other thing, Charles- her injuries are healing at an incredibly accelerated pace. The swelling is considerably reduced around her ankle, and the x-rays I took a few hours ago show much smaller cracks in her ribs than when she first was brought in. All of the small cuts and bruises are gone. But Rogue doesn't possess a healing factor."
The Professor's face became even more grave. "No, but in her time here, she has come into contact with several people who do possess one. The interesting question is, how is she making use of their powers when she hasn't touched any of them for quite some time?"
"Advantages of telepathy, my friend- you can actually go inside her mind and find out. I'll leave you to it." Stepping back, he took a seat behind the Professor, in order to monitor Rogue's brain waves. If the patterns changed, or her condition changed, he would touch Xavier to pull him out of his psychic trance.
With practiced ease, Charles cleared his mind, blanking out all external stimuli. With a precise mental *twist* his telepathic self was inside Rogue's mind. He found himself floating inside a large, bare white room, looking down on the small, child- sized figure of a girl, lying in a bed. The little girl rolled over, and Charles caught a glimpse of white streaked auburn hair, and pale arms clutching a tattered teddy bear. She didn't stir again, and his attention was drawn to the scenes playing out across the walls, like images from an old fashioned movie projector.
Different pictures flashed across the walls, images overlaying the others like double exposed film- a young boy with demon eyes chasing two other boys across beautifully manicured lawns; a pretty, short haired blonde woman staring into a mirror as her face slowly transformed into Mystique's; Kitty falling through a locker door and right on top of Lance Alvers; a yellow eyed, blue furred toddler running into a small cottage on all fours, covered in snow..... The images kept coming in a steady stream, and Charles realized he was seeing Rogue's dreams- deeply trapped in sleep, she dreamed the memories of others.
Suddenly, Charles felt himself being pulled from the 'room,' and he found himself passing quickly through a long, door-filled corridor that bore more than a passing resemblance to parts of his home. Others were moving along through the hallway as well, going in and out of doors, stopping to talk to each other, or intent upon their own unfathomable business. As he flew by, he realized that he must be staring at the physical manifestations of the people Rogue had touched, given form inside her mind. In the space of a heartbeat, he saw Sabretooth and Mystique waltzing across the hallway, Kitty running through a door, and himself, being pushed along in his chair by an unfamiliar freckled boy who was speaking with a definite Mississippi twang.
The hallway seemed to go on without end, and he was flying through it, being pulled faster and faster until everything around him was a blur. The pathways of Rogue's mind branched and turned, and almost before he realized it, Charles came to a stop in midair, hanging in another cavernous 'room,' this one a direct contrast to the first. The room seemed to stretch on into forever- the walls, floor, and ceiling were dark as the night sky, and little starlights twinkled softly at him from all directions. More people were coming and going here as well, but it was quieter here, peaceful compared to the hustle and bustle of the long corridor outside.
A sudden soft voice spoke from behind him. "Ah lahke the night; it's mah favorite time." Charles felt his telepathic body being turned and lowered to stand on the ground, and he saw Rogue walking towards him across the star- spangled expanse of her innermost mind. "It's finally all organized- all pretty an' makin' sense," she said as she got closer, and Charles frowned- there was something strange in her voice, completely unlike Rogue's normal mental voice. She finally was standing before him, dressed in the same clothes she had worn to go to the concert, but there was something wrong with her eyes- instead of the usual, familiar green irises sparkling with attitude, her eyes were white and blank- blind. The manifestation before him spoke again, voice dreamy and unfocused. "Ah can see 'em all, ya know- all their memories, everythin'. Ah can make all the powers work, but she din' use ta let me."
"She?" Charles questioned, beginning to understand who- or what- he was conversing with.
The Rogue spirit nodded. "She don't sleep right, blocks me out an' shuts me down." She paused, and in the same dreamy voice, but with frightening intensity, said "Ah'm her, an' she's me; but Ah'm still me, and she's being everybody else cause she won' let me do mah job." The spirit pushed a strand of white hair out of her eyes, the way Rogue always did when she was thinking about something, and Charles felt himself oddly disquieted by the gesture. Looking closer, he saw that he spirit Rogue was wearing gloves and stood fidgeting in booted feet. His sense of disquiet intensified.
"You're her subconscious mind." He stated quietly, and the Rogue spirit nodded. "We used ta work together, used ta not even be different at all. She thought an' saw an' did, an' Ah filed an' cleaned an' organized it all in her head. But then she touched somebody one day, an' that boy was in her head, an' she freaked out, built a little wall an' tossed me behind it. So they all ran free in her head, no order, all chaotic..." The Rogue spirit gestured outwards with her hands, and Charles understood that she meant all the psyches Rogue had absorbed had gone amok inside her mind, right from the beginning. The spirit continued with "She don' sleep, she don' dream, an' all the memories jus' get stuck in her head. An' she forced herself ta forget how ta use their powers after a little bit. But Ah know how. Sometimes, when she's real weak, Ah can break out a bit, start doin' what needs doin'- give her a coupla dreams ta get the memories outta the way. But then she knows, an' she pushes me back, 'til last night."
Charles looked around, noticing the quiet inside Rogue's mind. All the psyches had stopped milling about, and were gathered in a circle around the two of them, listening intently and watching in silence. "It was you last night, wasn't it? You unlocked all the powers, trying to save her- you used anyone, whoever's powers could save you both at the time." His sense of disquiet had slipped away, to be replaced with something like awe, and he found himself oddly fascinated by this encounter. He had never before come across a subconscious mind with such a defined sense of self identity.
The subconscious spirit nodded again. "Ah saw what happened- sometimes Ah can see what's goin' on, when she ain' concentratin' on me. Everybody ran inta her, an' then she jus' dropped everythin', an' then she let me out. She'd been breakin' fer a while, an' it wasn't the first time Ah was pushin' at that wall, but this time it jus' fell down. An Ah did what Ah had ta do, ta save us, jus' lahke Ah'm doin' now."
"Let me help you. Let her wake up, and then I can help both of you." Charles pleaded, but the subconscious shook her head. "No, it has ta be this way. Ah have ta get 'em all put where they belong- Ah have ta organize us the right way. We'll wake up when Ah'm done, Professah. Ya shouldn' be heah anymore- Ah got too much ta do." Rogue's subconscious turned away from him, and the voices of the psyches gathered around them whispered in a sibilant hiss "you don't belong here." With sudden violent force, the Professor felt himself being propelled backwards through the corridors of Rogue's mind, passing again through the endless hallway of doors, and through the white room with the still sleeping child Rogue. With a jolt, he found himself back inside his own mind, and he opened his eyes to find Hank staring down at him, worry intense upon his features. "Charles, what happened? You were inside her mind for four hours!"
"She's in there, Hank- but I've never seen such a defined split between the conscious and unconscious halves of the mind." He gave a short synopsis of his conversation with Rogue's subconscious mind, and when he finished, Hank said "so, it's possible she could conceivably use all the powers of everyone she's ever touched?" There was a mixture of awe and fear in Henry's voice- imagining a teenager with that much power was sobering.
Charles nodded. "Yes, I do believe so. When she is well, we will begin a new regimen of special training for her, to help her control her new abilities. I even harbor some hope that with both parts of her mind working together again, she could learn to control her original abilities as well."
"Ah, yes- but here's the million dollar question- when will she wake up?"
"That's just it, Hank- we still don't know. There are months of memories and power absorptions to integrate- there's no way to tell."
Hank nodded sadly- he'd been hoping for better news. "Let's go tell the students- they've gathered outside in the hall over the past few hours, waiting for news." Xavier agreed, understanding the unspoken thought- Hank hadn't wanted to tell them anything, because there hadn't been anything to tell them. With a last look at Rogue's sleeping form, the two men went out into the hallway to tell the students what Charles had learned.
by Princess of Monkeys
Chapter 32
Just to let you all know, I know nothing about how the brain works- all I've got are dim recollections from intro to psych, which I took a really long time ago. So hopefully this is all making some sort of sense, but if it doesn't, let me know and I'll try to explain it out better. Honestly, I really don't even know where this chapter came from- maybe my subconscious stepped in and wrote it for me, I don't know.
After the doors slid shut behind Remy, Charles asked "Still no change in her condition, Hank?" The other man came to stand beside him, replying in the negative. "No, but there has been steady brain activity since she was brought in last night. The strange part is, her brain waves show patterns similar to REM sleep, which is when people who are asleep usually dream. Normally, REM sleep only lasts for a short period of time, maybe a half hour at the longest, but she has been showing these brain waves for the past twelve hours. It's almost like she's been continually dreaming for the last twelve hours." The lines of worry etched onto the Professor's face deepened. "And how are her injuries?"
"That's the other thing, Charles- her injuries are healing at an incredibly accelerated pace. The swelling is considerably reduced around her ankle, and the x-rays I took a few hours ago show much smaller cracks in her ribs than when she first was brought in. All of the small cuts and bruises are gone. But Rogue doesn't possess a healing factor."
The Professor's face became even more grave. "No, but in her time here, she has come into contact with several people who do possess one. The interesting question is, how is she making use of their powers when she hasn't touched any of them for quite some time?"
"Advantages of telepathy, my friend- you can actually go inside her mind and find out. I'll leave you to it." Stepping back, he took a seat behind the Professor, in order to monitor Rogue's brain waves. If the patterns changed, or her condition changed, he would touch Xavier to pull him out of his psychic trance.
With practiced ease, Charles cleared his mind, blanking out all external stimuli. With a precise mental *twist* his telepathic self was inside Rogue's mind. He found himself floating inside a large, bare white room, looking down on the small, child- sized figure of a girl, lying in a bed. The little girl rolled over, and Charles caught a glimpse of white streaked auburn hair, and pale arms clutching a tattered teddy bear. She didn't stir again, and his attention was drawn to the scenes playing out across the walls, like images from an old fashioned movie projector.
Different pictures flashed across the walls, images overlaying the others like double exposed film- a young boy with demon eyes chasing two other boys across beautifully manicured lawns; a pretty, short haired blonde woman staring into a mirror as her face slowly transformed into Mystique's; Kitty falling through a locker door and right on top of Lance Alvers; a yellow eyed, blue furred toddler running into a small cottage on all fours, covered in snow..... The images kept coming in a steady stream, and Charles realized he was seeing Rogue's dreams- deeply trapped in sleep, she dreamed the memories of others.
Suddenly, Charles felt himself being pulled from the 'room,' and he found himself passing quickly through a long, door-filled corridor that bore more than a passing resemblance to parts of his home. Others were moving along through the hallway as well, going in and out of doors, stopping to talk to each other, or intent upon their own unfathomable business. As he flew by, he realized that he must be staring at the physical manifestations of the people Rogue had touched, given form inside her mind. In the space of a heartbeat, he saw Sabretooth and Mystique waltzing across the hallway, Kitty running through a door, and himself, being pushed along in his chair by an unfamiliar freckled boy who was speaking with a definite Mississippi twang.
The hallway seemed to go on without end, and he was flying through it, being pulled faster and faster until everything around him was a blur. The pathways of Rogue's mind branched and turned, and almost before he realized it, Charles came to a stop in midair, hanging in another cavernous 'room,' this one a direct contrast to the first. The room seemed to stretch on into forever- the walls, floor, and ceiling were dark as the night sky, and little starlights twinkled softly at him from all directions. More people were coming and going here as well, but it was quieter here, peaceful compared to the hustle and bustle of the long corridor outside.
A sudden soft voice spoke from behind him. "Ah lahke the night; it's mah favorite time." Charles felt his telepathic body being turned and lowered to stand on the ground, and he saw Rogue walking towards him across the star- spangled expanse of her innermost mind. "It's finally all organized- all pretty an' makin' sense," she said as she got closer, and Charles frowned- there was something strange in her voice, completely unlike Rogue's normal mental voice. She finally was standing before him, dressed in the same clothes she had worn to go to the concert, but there was something wrong with her eyes- instead of the usual, familiar green irises sparkling with attitude, her eyes were white and blank- blind. The manifestation before him spoke again, voice dreamy and unfocused. "Ah can see 'em all, ya know- all their memories, everythin'. Ah can make all the powers work, but she din' use ta let me."
"She?" Charles questioned, beginning to understand who- or what- he was conversing with.
The Rogue spirit nodded. "She don't sleep right, blocks me out an' shuts me down." She paused, and in the same dreamy voice, but with frightening intensity, said "Ah'm her, an' she's me; but Ah'm still me, and she's being everybody else cause she won' let me do mah job." The spirit pushed a strand of white hair out of her eyes, the way Rogue always did when she was thinking about something, and Charles felt himself oddly disquieted by the gesture. Looking closer, he saw that he spirit Rogue was wearing gloves and stood fidgeting in booted feet. His sense of disquiet intensified.
"You're her subconscious mind." He stated quietly, and the Rogue spirit nodded. "We used ta work together, used ta not even be different at all. She thought an' saw an' did, an' Ah filed an' cleaned an' organized it all in her head. But then she touched somebody one day, an' that boy was in her head, an' she freaked out, built a little wall an' tossed me behind it. So they all ran free in her head, no order, all chaotic..." The Rogue spirit gestured outwards with her hands, and Charles understood that she meant all the psyches Rogue had absorbed had gone amok inside her mind, right from the beginning. The spirit continued with "She don' sleep, she don' dream, an' all the memories jus' get stuck in her head. An' she forced herself ta forget how ta use their powers after a little bit. But Ah know how. Sometimes, when she's real weak, Ah can break out a bit, start doin' what needs doin'- give her a coupla dreams ta get the memories outta the way. But then she knows, an' she pushes me back, 'til last night."
Charles looked around, noticing the quiet inside Rogue's mind. All the psyches had stopped milling about, and were gathered in a circle around the two of them, listening intently and watching in silence. "It was you last night, wasn't it? You unlocked all the powers, trying to save her- you used anyone, whoever's powers could save you both at the time." His sense of disquiet had slipped away, to be replaced with something like awe, and he found himself oddly fascinated by this encounter. He had never before come across a subconscious mind with such a defined sense of self identity.
The subconscious spirit nodded again. "Ah saw what happened- sometimes Ah can see what's goin' on, when she ain' concentratin' on me. Everybody ran inta her, an' then she jus' dropped everythin', an' then she let me out. She'd been breakin' fer a while, an' it wasn't the first time Ah was pushin' at that wall, but this time it jus' fell down. An Ah did what Ah had ta do, ta save us, jus' lahke Ah'm doin' now."
"Let me help you. Let her wake up, and then I can help both of you." Charles pleaded, but the subconscious shook her head. "No, it has ta be this way. Ah have ta get 'em all put where they belong- Ah have ta organize us the right way. We'll wake up when Ah'm done, Professah. Ya shouldn' be heah anymore- Ah got too much ta do." Rogue's subconscious turned away from him, and the voices of the psyches gathered around them whispered in a sibilant hiss "you don't belong here." With sudden violent force, the Professor felt himself being propelled backwards through the corridors of Rogue's mind, passing again through the endless hallway of doors, and through the white room with the still sleeping child Rogue. With a jolt, he found himself back inside his own mind, and he opened his eyes to find Hank staring down at him, worry intense upon his features. "Charles, what happened? You were inside her mind for four hours!"
"She's in there, Hank- but I've never seen such a defined split between the conscious and unconscious halves of the mind." He gave a short synopsis of his conversation with Rogue's subconscious mind, and when he finished, Hank said "so, it's possible she could conceivably use all the powers of everyone she's ever touched?" There was a mixture of awe and fear in Henry's voice- imagining a teenager with that much power was sobering.
Charles nodded. "Yes, I do believe so. When she is well, we will begin a new regimen of special training for her, to help her control her new abilities. I even harbor some hope that with both parts of her mind working together again, she could learn to control her original abilities as well."
"Ah, yes- but here's the million dollar question- when will she wake up?"
"That's just it, Hank- we still don't know. There are months of memories and power absorptions to integrate- there's no way to tell."
Hank nodded sadly- he'd been hoping for better news. "Let's go tell the students- they've gathered outside in the hall over the past few hours, waiting for news." Xavier agreed, understanding the unspoken thought- Hank hadn't wanted to tell them anything, because there hadn't been anything to tell them. With a last look at Rogue's sleeping form, the two men went out into the hallway to tell the students what Charles had learned.