*sniffle* I have such wonderful reviewers... How did I get so lucky? You
guys are all fantastic, keeping my ego afloat so well. Thank you all so
very much!
That being said, you're going to hate me for what I now must tell you... Turns out I made an error when going through what would happen in the next few chapters. This means we won't find out what Estella's little secret is until Chapter 11. But don't worry, it definitely won't be pushed back any further. And I've had these next few chapters planned out for quite some time, so it shouldn't take me too long to write them. As for when Merry and Estella will finally kiss... all I'm going to say is - we're definitely getting close. :)
Zille - that video game I metioned is called simply The Fellowship of the Ring, and it's for PC. Be warned, though, it's really tough. I still haven't gotten past Farmer Maggot's dogs. :P
All right, folks, time to play - Spot the Star Wars Reference! ;) Also, the chapter title is a reference to one of my favorite Disney songs - I Won't Say I'm in Love from Hercules. Go download it, it's amazing. Or watch the movie, it's even better.
*~*~*
Chapter 9 - At Least Out Loud . . .
*~*~*
"Begging your pardon, Miss Estella, but I don't think you're holding those knitting needles right."
Estella looked up from the knitting job she had been struggling with for the past hour or so. "Don't you try to tell me how to knit, Samwise Gamgee!" she said, shaking a finger at him. "I know *exactly* what I'm doing." What sounded like a supressed giggle came from Rosie's direction, and Estella shot her friend a defensive look. "Well, I do! It's just... harder than it looks!"
"Of course, dear," Rosie replied, smiling slightly.
Estella attempted a scowl. "If I wasn't afraid of hitting that oversized belly of yours, I'd throw these needles at you."
"Well, if this oversized belly protects me so nicely, I should be pregnant more often." It was a sign that Sam had become much more comfortable with such talk that he didn't blush at his wife's comment. In fact, he gave a slight chuckle and responded,
"As long as we have a few years of rest in between, I'd be happy to oblige."
Estella smiled at this, a smile that immediately dissipated when she heard the tell-tale singing approaching Bagshot Row. She turned to Sam, sighing in frustration.
"Didn't they just leave?" she asked.
Sam merely shrugged, giving her a pitying smile.
Estella stood, setting down her knitting materials. "I'm going to take a walk. If you'll excuse me..."
When Estella was outside, she saw Merry and Pippin's ponies walking at a leasurely pace up Bagshot Row. She ran in the opposite direction around the hill until she came to a small paddock behind Bag End. Breathing a sigh of relief, she sank down against one of the wooden posts and hugged her knees to her chest.
It was then that she began to wonder why she had run away.
'Because I don't want to deal with Merry right now.'
She didn't hate him, not really, try as she might to convince herself otherwise. Nor did she fear him; what she was afraid of was how her heartbeat quickened whenever he was near, how her gaze was always drawn to him, how it took all her willpower to avoid his eyes and the warmth she found there.
Estella sighed deeply and spoke outloud to no one in particular. "When did everything become so complicated?"
Just then she felt a gentle nudge against her shoulder. She turned to find Sam's loyal pony, Bill, standing behind her.
"Hello, Bill." Estella smiled and reached up to stroke the pony's nose. "I don't suppose you would know what I should do about this whole situation?"
As though in response, Bill nudged her shoulder again, whinnying softly. Estella turned to look in the direction of his prodding and there saw Merry walking towards her.
Turning back to look at Bill, she muttered, "I appreciate the warning." Bill tossed his head about in some semblence of a nod.
When he was nearly at the paddock, Estella said to Merry, "I'm beginning to think you don't like Buckland very much. You spend more time here than you do at home."
Merry smiled at this. "I could say the same thing about you."
Estella stood and folded her arms across her chest. "I happen to be here to help my friend through her first pregnancy, thank you."
"And I happen to be here to help my friend through *his* first pregnancy."
Estella shook her head. "You are unbelievable."
"Why, thank you!"
She rolled her eyes, but couldn't hold in her laugh. "So what are you really doing out here? I know you didn't come to look for me."
"No, but that was a pleasant surprise nonetheless." Estella felt her cheeks grow warm at this. "I'm actually here to visit an old friend." He reached out to Bill, who was standing nearby, and the pony walked up to him and nuzzled his hand fondly.
"I didn't know you liked ponies so much," Estella remarked.
"Well, I am a knight of Rohan, you know."
Estella furrowed her brows. "Rohan... are they fond of ponies there?"
"Not necessarily ponies, but they do love their horses. Ah, and what fine horses they are! You should see Gandalf's horse, Shadowfax. He's the most amazing creature on four legs." Bill gave a defensive snort at this, and Merry laughed. "Except our Bill here, of course."
"Who lives in Rohan?" Estella asked. "Elves?"
"No, no Elves, though I'm sure Legolas has visited there on more than one occasion. It's Men who live in Rohan."
"What are they like?"
Merry leaned against one of the posts and thought for a moment. "Most of them have fair hair and skin, and are very tall. And those that I've met are very brave. King Éomer and the lady Éowyn are two of the bravest people I've ever known. And King Théoden..." He trailed off, a sad, faraway look coming to his face. Estella suspected that this was not a subject he wished to linger on.
"I'd like to see Rohan some day," Estella said.
Merry looked at her for a moment before responding. "I think you will. In fact, I'd like to take you there."
She smirked. "You really think you could stand such a long journey with me?"
"Of course," he said, stepping a bit closer to her. "I think I'd enjoy it, too."
"Don't be so sure," she replied with a nervous grin as he came even closer to her. 'Please don't let him come any closer...'
When he spoke next, his voice was low and gentle. "Why are you afraid of me, Estella?"
"Afraid?" she exclaimed defensively.
In response, Merry pointed to her hand that rested atop one of the posts; it was trembling violently. Estella pulled the hand away and brought it behind her back, where she clenched it tightly.
Merry sighed. "Give me your hand, Estella."
"What?" she breathed. "No!"
"Please?" he prodded with a small smile.
For reasons beyond her comprehension, Estella could not resist that smile. She held out her hand to him, and he took it into his own.
His smile widened. "Now, was that so terrible?"
"I suppose not," Estella mumbled, suddenly feeling a bit foolish.
"Then why are you still trembling?"
For a moment, Estella could find no response. "I don't know," she said softly.
A surprisingly comfortable silence followed. Estella allowed herself to relax and simply enjoy the feeling she received when she was in Merry's presence, when she felt his thumb gently stroking her skin. She found herself wishing that moment of peace and contentment would last forever. But it was inevitably broken when Merry decided to speak.
"You shouldn't keep things bottled up like you do. I wish you would just tell me what's bothering you."
Estella jerked slightly as reality came rushing back. She immediately released Merry's hand and stepped away from him. "I... I should be going." With that, she turned and ran back towards Bag End and out of sight.
"Another time, perhaps," Merry muttered under his breath as he watched her go, suddenly overcome with a strong desire to smack himself.
Behind him, Bill gave a soft huff of sympathy.
*~*~*
When Estella was certain she was out of Merry's sight, she sat down on the grass and took a deep breath. She mentally scolded herself for letting her guard down around him. Merry was seeing a side of Estella that she hated showing to anyone. He had even seen her crying, something she never did in front of others. And now Estella was uncertain as to how long she would be able to fight her growing feelings for him.
"No," she said firmly. "I won't say it. I will not say I'm in love with him."
But she couldn't stop the thought that followed. 'Not outloud, anyway.'
*~*~*
That being said, you're going to hate me for what I now must tell you... Turns out I made an error when going through what would happen in the next few chapters. This means we won't find out what Estella's little secret is until Chapter 11. But don't worry, it definitely won't be pushed back any further. And I've had these next few chapters planned out for quite some time, so it shouldn't take me too long to write them. As for when Merry and Estella will finally kiss... all I'm going to say is - we're definitely getting close. :)
Zille - that video game I metioned is called simply The Fellowship of the Ring, and it's for PC. Be warned, though, it's really tough. I still haven't gotten past Farmer Maggot's dogs. :P
All right, folks, time to play - Spot the Star Wars Reference! ;) Also, the chapter title is a reference to one of my favorite Disney songs - I Won't Say I'm in Love from Hercules. Go download it, it's amazing. Or watch the movie, it's even better.
*~*~*
Chapter 9 - At Least Out Loud . . .
*~*~*
"Begging your pardon, Miss Estella, but I don't think you're holding those knitting needles right."
Estella looked up from the knitting job she had been struggling with for the past hour or so. "Don't you try to tell me how to knit, Samwise Gamgee!" she said, shaking a finger at him. "I know *exactly* what I'm doing." What sounded like a supressed giggle came from Rosie's direction, and Estella shot her friend a defensive look. "Well, I do! It's just... harder than it looks!"
"Of course, dear," Rosie replied, smiling slightly.
Estella attempted a scowl. "If I wasn't afraid of hitting that oversized belly of yours, I'd throw these needles at you."
"Well, if this oversized belly protects me so nicely, I should be pregnant more often." It was a sign that Sam had become much more comfortable with such talk that he didn't blush at his wife's comment. In fact, he gave a slight chuckle and responded,
"As long as we have a few years of rest in between, I'd be happy to oblige."
Estella smiled at this, a smile that immediately dissipated when she heard the tell-tale singing approaching Bagshot Row. She turned to Sam, sighing in frustration.
"Didn't they just leave?" she asked.
Sam merely shrugged, giving her a pitying smile.
Estella stood, setting down her knitting materials. "I'm going to take a walk. If you'll excuse me..."
When Estella was outside, she saw Merry and Pippin's ponies walking at a leasurely pace up Bagshot Row. She ran in the opposite direction around the hill until she came to a small paddock behind Bag End. Breathing a sigh of relief, she sank down against one of the wooden posts and hugged her knees to her chest.
It was then that she began to wonder why she had run away.
'Because I don't want to deal with Merry right now.'
She didn't hate him, not really, try as she might to convince herself otherwise. Nor did she fear him; what she was afraid of was how her heartbeat quickened whenever he was near, how her gaze was always drawn to him, how it took all her willpower to avoid his eyes and the warmth she found there.
Estella sighed deeply and spoke outloud to no one in particular. "When did everything become so complicated?"
Just then she felt a gentle nudge against her shoulder. She turned to find Sam's loyal pony, Bill, standing behind her.
"Hello, Bill." Estella smiled and reached up to stroke the pony's nose. "I don't suppose you would know what I should do about this whole situation?"
As though in response, Bill nudged her shoulder again, whinnying softly. Estella turned to look in the direction of his prodding and there saw Merry walking towards her.
Turning back to look at Bill, she muttered, "I appreciate the warning." Bill tossed his head about in some semblence of a nod.
When he was nearly at the paddock, Estella said to Merry, "I'm beginning to think you don't like Buckland very much. You spend more time here than you do at home."
Merry smiled at this. "I could say the same thing about you."
Estella stood and folded her arms across her chest. "I happen to be here to help my friend through her first pregnancy, thank you."
"And I happen to be here to help my friend through *his* first pregnancy."
Estella shook her head. "You are unbelievable."
"Why, thank you!"
She rolled her eyes, but couldn't hold in her laugh. "So what are you really doing out here? I know you didn't come to look for me."
"No, but that was a pleasant surprise nonetheless." Estella felt her cheeks grow warm at this. "I'm actually here to visit an old friend." He reached out to Bill, who was standing nearby, and the pony walked up to him and nuzzled his hand fondly.
"I didn't know you liked ponies so much," Estella remarked.
"Well, I am a knight of Rohan, you know."
Estella furrowed her brows. "Rohan... are they fond of ponies there?"
"Not necessarily ponies, but they do love their horses. Ah, and what fine horses they are! You should see Gandalf's horse, Shadowfax. He's the most amazing creature on four legs." Bill gave a defensive snort at this, and Merry laughed. "Except our Bill here, of course."
"Who lives in Rohan?" Estella asked. "Elves?"
"No, no Elves, though I'm sure Legolas has visited there on more than one occasion. It's Men who live in Rohan."
"What are they like?"
Merry leaned against one of the posts and thought for a moment. "Most of them have fair hair and skin, and are very tall. And those that I've met are very brave. King Éomer and the lady Éowyn are two of the bravest people I've ever known. And King Théoden..." He trailed off, a sad, faraway look coming to his face. Estella suspected that this was not a subject he wished to linger on.
"I'd like to see Rohan some day," Estella said.
Merry looked at her for a moment before responding. "I think you will. In fact, I'd like to take you there."
She smirked. "You really think you could stand such a long journey with me?"
"Of course," he said, stepping a bit closer to her. "I think I'd enjoy it, too."
"Don't be so sure," she replied with a nervous grin as he came even closer to her. 'Please don't let him come any closer...'
When he spoke next, his voice was low and gentle. "Why are you afraid of me, Estella?"
"Afraid?" she exclaimed defensively.
In response, Merry pointed to her hand that rested atop one of the posts; it was trembling violently. Estella pulled the hand away and brought it behind her back, where she clenched it tightly.
Merry sighed. "Give me your hand, Estella."
"What?" she breathed. "No!"
"Please?" he prodded with a small smile.
For reasons beyond her comprehension, Estella could not resist that smile. She held out her hand to him, and he took it into his own.
His smile widened. "Now, was that so terrible?"
"I suppose not," Estella mumbled, suddenly feeling a bit foolish.
"Then why are you still trembling?"
For a moment, Estella could find no response. "I don't know," she said softly.
A surprisingly comfortable silence followed. Estella allowed herself to relax and simply enjoy the feeling she received when she was in Merry's presence, when she felt his thumb gently stroking her skin. She found herself wishing that moment of peace and contentment would last forever. But it was inevitably broken when Merry decided to speak.
"You shouldn't keep things bottled up like you do. I wish you would just tell me what's bothering you."
Estella jerked slightly as reality came rushing back. She immediately released Merry's hand and stepped away from him. "I... I should be going." With that, she turned and ran back towards Bag End and out of sight.
"Another time, perhaps," Merry muttered under his breath as he watched her go, suddenly overcome with a strong desire to smack himself.
Behind him, Bill gave a soft huff of sympathy.
*~*~*
When Estella was certain she was out of Merry's sight, she sat down on the grass and took a deep breath. She mentally scolded herself for letting her guard down around him. Merry was seeing a side of Estella that she hated showing to anyone. He had even seen her crying, something she never did in front of others. And now Estella was uncertain as to how long she would be able to fight her growing feelings for him.
"No," she said firmly. "I won't say it. I will not say I'm in love with him."
But she couldn't stop the thought that followed. 'Not outloud, anyway.'
*~*~*