The Great Hall
12:08 pm
December 24th 1977
James: Hey, Padfoot.
Sirius: (stops eating) What?
James: I wrote a song.
Sirius: You're not going to make me sing it, are you?
James: No - I don't like your voice. It's raspy. I'm going to sing.
Sirius: And your voice isn't raspy?
James: *ignores her* On the first day of New Year Sirius Black gave to me, A House Cup in a pear tree.
Sirius: Now that's a fat chance. Where do you think I could find a pear tree?
James: I'm not yet done.
Sirius: (sarcastically) Then by all means, please continue.
James: *clears throat* On the second day of New Year Moony gave to me Two long essays, And a House cup in a pear tree.
Remus: *glares*
James: *blushes* It's only a song!
Remus: And a very satire one at that.
James: Whatever. On the third day of New Year Wormtail gave to me Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Peter: *scratches his mousy hair*
James: *shrugs* On the fourth day of New Year Dumbledore gave to me Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Dumbledore: (from the staff table) You do notice, Mr. Potter that you will have to earn the House Cup to make me give it to you on the fourth day of New Year? As for the lemon drops and the essays, you're welcome to come by the office.
James: Yes, Professor.
Sirius: *laughs*
James: Shut it, you. *clears throat* On the fifth day of New Year Bellatrix gave to me Five hexes -
Bellatrix: (all the way from the Slytherin table) What, just five? Oh, you don't have to wait for the fifth day to receive a hex or two.
The rest of the Slytherins: *laugh like idiots*
Sirius: You don't have to wait until the next minute to receive a hex if you don't shut up!
Remus: Mmm. This pudding tastes superb!
James: *ignores them* - Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Bellatrix: What House Cup? The one we Slytherins had last year or the year before that?
The rest of the Slytherins: *laugh like idiots*
James: *ignores them again* On the sixth day of New Year Snivellus gave to me Six deadly poisons -
Severus: I could have put some in your pumpkin juice for all you know.
James: *throws pumpkin juice* - Five hexes, Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Severus: You wish.
James: *mutters* git. On the seventh day of New Year Macnair gave to me Seven headless kittens -
Macnair: Anytime, anywhere.
Remus: *growls*
James: *gulps* Six deadly poisons, Five hexes, Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Macnair: Oh please -
Sirius: - shut up. Go on with your daft song, Prongs.
James: Thanks, I guess. On the eight day of New Year, Regulus gave to me -
Sirius: Stupid git.
James: Erm.
Remus: The eight day, James.
James: Oh yeah. Eight -
Sirius: *glares*
James: *grins wryly* Eight nasty portraits -
Sirius: *grins* I almost forgot that git liked those portraits of my relatives.
James: Shall I go on?
Sirius: By all means, my fine fawn.
James: Seven headless kittens, Six deadly poisons -
Regulus: *mutters* Just wait until I plot my sweet revenge.
Sirius: We can hear you, you insufferable -
James: *clears throat* Five hexes, Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Sirius: How 'bout my mother? I'd like to hear a good insult for her.
James: Let's see. On the ninth day of New Year, Mrs. Black gave to me Nine horrid house-elves, Eight nasty portraits Seven headless kittens, Six deadly poisons Five hexes, Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Regulus: You haven't permission to insult my mother!
Sirius: Yes, he has. But if you have a problem with that, I can -
Remus: *raises voice sarcastically* How I love these seemingly worthless and futile family feuds.
James: erm. On the tenth day of New Year McGonagall gave to me Ten flawless N.E.W.T.'s,
McGonagall: Of all the cheeky students I have, Potter -
James: *very quickly* Nine horrid house-elves, Eight nasty portraits Seven headless kittens, Six deadly poisons Five hexes, Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Lucius: Still, Potter, I wonder which New Year you're talking about.
James: You'll see. On the eleventh day of New Year Voldemort -
Everyone except Dumbledore, Sirius, and Remus: *gasps*
James: er. - gave to me Eleven mad supporters, Ten flawless N.E.W.T.'s, Nine horrid house-elves, Eight nasty portraits Seven headless kittens, Six deadly poisons Five hexes, Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Sirius: Well, it's down to one. I bet it's Evans.
James: *blushes* On the twelfth day of Christmas Lily gave to me *sighs* Twelve.mindless.songfests.
Lily: POTTER! YOU EGOTISTICAL, ARROGANT TOERAG!
Sirius: Telling it like it is, aren't you?
Remus: *shakes head*
Peter and the rest of the students: *snigger*
James: *gulps* Eleven mad supporters, Ten flawless N.E.W.T.'s, Nine horrid house-elves, Eight nasty portraits Seven headless kittens, Six deadly poisons
Lily: *snarls* Oh, you can definitely bet on that.
James: Aww.so sweet of you, Evans. Five hexes, Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a -
After James' absent-minded remark, he was stunned by a flaming Lily Evans and became unfit for singing. Sirius, however, has a stomachache from laughing like hell and was stunned just the same.
James: Hey, Padfoot.
Sirius: (stops eating) What?
James: I wrote a song.
Sirius: You're not going to make me sing it, are you?
James: No - I don't like your voice. It's raspy. I'm going to sing.
Sirius: And your voice isn't raspy?
James: *ignores her* On the first day of New Year Sirius Black gave to me, A House Cup in a pear tree.
Sirius: Now that's a fat chance. Where do you think I could find a pear tree?
James: I'm not yet done.
Sirius: (sarcastically) Then by all means, please continue.
James: *clears throat* On the second day of New Year Moony gave to me Two long essays, And a House cup in a pear tree.
Remus: *glares*
James: *blushes* It's only a song!
Remus: And a very satire one at that.
James: Whatever. On the third day of New Year Wormtail gave to me Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Peter: *scratches his mousy hair*
James: *shrugs* On the fourth day of New Year Dumbledore gave to me Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Dumbledore: (from the staff table) You do notice, Mr. Potter that you will have to earn the House Cup to make me give it to you on the fourth day of New Year? As for the lemon drops and the essays, you're welcome to come by the office.
James: Yes, Professor.
Sirius: *laughs*
James: Shut it, you. *clears throat* On the fifth day of New Year Bellatrix gave to me Five hexes -
Bellatrix: (all the way from the Slytherin table) What, just five? Oh, you don't have to wait for the fifth day to receive a hex or two.
The rest of the Slytherins: *laugh like idiots*
Sirius: You don't have to wait until the next minute to receive a hex if you don't shut up!
Remus: Mmm. This pudding tastes superb!
James: *ignores them* - Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Bellatrix: What House Cup? The one we Slytherins had last year or the year before that?
The rest of the Slytherins: *laugh like idiots*
James: *ignores them again* On the sixth day of New Year Snivellus gave to me Six deadly poisons -
Severus: I could have put some in your pumpkin juice for all you know.
James: *throws pumpkin juice* - Five hexes, Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Severus: You wish.
James: *mutters* git. On the seventh day of New Year Macnair gave to me Seven headless kittens -
Macnair: Anytime, anywhere.
Remus: *growls*
James: *gulps* Six deadly poisons, Five hexes, Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Macnair: Oh please -
Sirius: - shut up. Go on with your daft song, Prongs.
James: Thanks, I guess. On the eight day of New Year, Regulus gave to me -
Sirius: Stupid git.
James: Erm.
Remus: The eight day, James.
James: Oh yeah. Eight -
Sirius: *glares*
James: *grins wryly* Eight nasty portraits -
Sirius: *grins* I almost forgot that git liked those portraits of my relatives.
James: Shall I go on?
Sirius: By all means, my fine fawn.
James: Seven headless kittens, Six deadly poisons -
Regulus: *mutters* Just wait until I plot my sweet revenge.
Sirius: We can hear you, you insufferable -
James: *clears throat* Five hexes, Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Sirius: How 'bout my mother? I'd like to hear a good insult for her.
James: Let's see. On the ninth day of New Year, Mrs. Black gave to me Nine horrid house-elves, Eight nasty portraits Seven headless kittens, Six deadly poisons Five hexes, Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Regulus: You haven't permission to insult my mother!
Sirius: Yes, he has. But if you have a problem with that, I can -
Remus: *raises voice sarcastically* How I love these seemingly worthless and futile family feuds.
James: erm. On the tenth day of New Year McGonagall gave to me Ten flawless N.E.W.T.'s,
McGonagall: Of all the cheeky students I have, Potter -
James: *very quickly* Nine horrid house-elves, Eight nasty portraits Seven headless kittens, Six deadly poisons Five hexes, Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Lucius: Still, Potter, I wonder which New Year you're talking about.
James: You'll see. On the eleventh day of New Year Voldemort -
Everyone except Dumbledore, Sirius, and Remus: *gasps*
James: er. - gave to me Eleven mad supporters, Ten flawless N.E.W.T.'s, Nine horrid house-elves, Eight nasty portraits Seven headless kittens, Six deadly poisons Five hexes, Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a House Cup in a pear tree.
Sirius: Well, it's down to one. I bet it's Evans.
James: *blushes* On the twelfth day of Christmas Lily gave to me *sighs* Twelve.mindless.songfests.
Lily: POTTER! YOU EGOTISTICAL, ARROGANT TOERAG!
Sirius: Telling it like it is, aren't you?
Remus: *shakes head*
Peter and the rest of the students: *snigger*
James: *gulps* Eleven mad supporters, Ten flawless N.E.W.T.'s, Nine horrid house-elves, Eight nasty portraits Seven headless kittens, Six deadly poisons
Lily: *snarls* Oh, you can definitely bet on that.
James: Aww.so sweet of you, Evans. Five hexes, Four lemon drops, Three chocolate frogs, Two long essays, And a -
After James' absent-minded remark, he was stunned by a flaming Lily Evans and became unfit for singing. Sirius, however, has a stomachache from laughing like hell and was stunned just the same.