The Joy Of Rebirth
To my utter horror we both lay hands on it grabbing it with a stern strength to be reckoned with. I looked into her deep red eyes and inside I saw mother, Kaworu, and my father. Eyes locked and a heaving groan of frustration let out, from mainly myself, my palms became increasingly sweaty and my body became weak with the overexertion of strength. Letting out a guttural scream I saw as Asuka flew over my head, angelic and graceful, using her A.T. Field to push Rei back. While Rei was stunned Asuka helped pull the lance from her grip. Now with both of our hands on it we ran the lance into Rei's chest. She let out a yelp of pain and looked at us with an almost innocent yet ignorant expression. It was as if she was unsure and completely oblivious to the world around her. The then leaned back and then went silent and immobile. Collapsing onto the ground her eyes fluttered slightly and her arms fell to the ground as if she were nailed to a cross. A familiar image of Lilith.
I stood there in Unit 01 heaving and gasping fro breath, staring intently at her. The intercom was on the entire time but I never took it into full account. I heard cheers and screams of success from the other side. From this a strange emotion seeped through me like a pleasant chill down my spine.
Now without the guilt and the pain, I learned finally how to, instead of hating myself, be proud of myself, and actually have some esteem and confidence. It felt good. It was something that I had never really experienced and was essentially deprived of. No man on Earth should be deprived of the feeling. It was then that I had felt something even stranger and more obscure than anything I had ever felt before. Wholeness. It was invigorating and almost sensual. It felt as good as way before when I strangled the comatose Asuka. It just felt as if weight had been lifted off of my shoulders and I released my frustrations.
I still staring intently at Rei from the perspective of her feet, walked slowly and cautiously along the side of her. Upon being parallel to her shoulders I saw her face staring up into the sky. I sighed a strong sigh and gave out a tear. Rei's head then suddenly looked directly at me and said in a pale and dying voice…
"If that is what you wish, you will be granted it."
The walls of my heart were complete. Everything I have ever wanted, Every problem I have ever had, was now gone. And I finally had learned to love myself. I looked over at Unit 02. Watching as blinding light engulfed the landscape and as a warm feeling overcame me, I noticed the sky brighten up and almost pull the environment out of focus and into a blurry prism-like reality...
"Asuka…"
* * *
It was dark at first, but little by little I felt something cover me. I actually felt something. At first, only black existed with sounds asunder and the feeling of being weightless. The black then turned into a blurriness but eventually I could make out a skin tone in front of me. Looking forth, my eyes focused on the skin tone and it became apparent that it was a gently formed chest of a man. The illumination of this chest was red tinted as light was coming through layers and layers of skin. I pulled myself against the body in front of me to find several others forming along him. Body after body forming from this skin I struck my hand out trying to escape. My hands then reached out of Rei's fingertips and I pulled myself out of her grasp.
Whilst falling into the L.C.L., I watched as Rei's body began to tighten with forms of bodies coming into sight all over her. It was as if all of the air inside of Rei was being sucked out and her skin was conforming to the human bodies that lay within her. Hands jutted out and heads became visible all over her hips, thighs, torso and various other extremities. People then completely unattached themselves and began falling from Rei's body, as Rei's body was in essence becoming no more, for now everyone was becoming restored.
The black moon exploded releasing the L.C.L. across the globe. The death of such energy did not go unnoticed for as Rei fell apart, Unit 01 (fused with The Lance) released its energy unto the Earth. A sonic burst of sound echoed throughout the universe as white light expanded forth from above Rei. Through some strange fusion, the spreading L.C.L., and the shockwave of energy held from the God known as unit 01 had caused an unusual reaction. From this fusion, familiar shapes arose. Trees, plants, animals, grass; all had been restored to its original state. I watched as color bloomed in the distance and green spiraled out of what was formally nothing. The dilapidated, destroyed buildings, and dark black mountains were enveloped with lush garden-like vegetation as all of the former splinters on the Earth's surface had grown leaves.
Floating in the blood of Lilith, the primordial soup of life, I noticed that the red L.C.L. began to turn clear. The L.C.L. was turning into water. The diffusion of the blood to water caused steam to rise up into the sky. This atmosphere developed into a gorgeous, intense blue, over the surface of the earth. From what I could tell, the Earth had once again restored its former glory. It was as if the earth rebooted itself to where it came from. It was truly a new genesis for mankind.
Mankind, a race a separate and flawed individuals, then began to rise from the waters and crawl on to the land. The image was indeed strange. It looked as if the seas were overcome with people and as if they were overflowing with life. The people were almost being splashed out of the seas and on to land. The beaches were a golden glimmering color and past that a lush green interspersed with various spots of color could be seen. "Anywhere can be paradise as long as you have the will to live…"
I crawled onto the beach, stark naked like everyone else and looked around for any sign of a familiar face. I then noticed Aoba in the distance.
"Aoba!"
"Shinji!"
"You did it Shinji! You saved us all!"
Those words alone caused my heart to race with utter excitement, for that was the greatest remark anyone could have ever received. And that remark was guided surprisingly, towards me. I didn't know what to think of it. All I knew was that I wanted to see more familiar faces.
"I...I did. But what about Misato, Asuka, what about my father?"
All of the sudden Commander Fuyutski appeared out of a large group of people emerging from the waters. Already a few feet from us he had heard our conversation.
"They, wont be coming back…they died before Third Impact, therefore they couldn't have transformed into Lilith…"
"Asuka…" I sighed with a saddened tone.
I would never be seeing her again. Poor Asuka, how I missed her. If only she lasted so much longer. If only I could have saved her. But I have to look past that. I will not revert into the same damned groveling Shinji that I always was. I was reborn. And with that I am new again to reshape myself, my identity. There will be a tomorrow.
"Be grateful Shinji that you're alive." Ibuki then stated.
"Ibuki!" Yelled Aoba.
"So what happens now?" I asked.
"Even that is beyond me." Stated Fuyutski
"Asuka, and Misato…and—" I uttered whilst thinking to myself about various things that recently occurred.
"Listen Shinji, if it means anything to you I'm sure if they were here right now they would be saying this…" Said Fuyutski.
He stuck out his hand and I grasped mine. He shook my hand whole-heartedly and with a sincere expression on his face.
"Congratulations."
It was once again, green and blue. The sky had returned. There was now a struggle. And finally I can see myself. Shinji. I have found you, Shinji.
"As far as gods and Heav'nly essences
Can perish: for the mind and spirit remains
Invincible"
-John Milton, Paradise Lost
End
* * *
To my utter horror we both lay hands on it grabbing it with a stern strength to be reckoned with. I looked into her deep red eyes and inside I saw mother, Kaworu, and my father. Eyes locked and a heaving groan of frustration let out, from mainly myself, my palms became increasingly sweaty and my body became weak with the overexertion of strength. Letting out a guttural scream I saw as Asuka flew over my head, angelic and graceful, using her A.T. Field to push Rei back. While Rei was stunned Asuka helped pull the lance from her grip. Now with both of our hands on it we ran the lance into Rei's chest. She let out a yelp of pain and looked at us with an almost innocent yet ignorant expression. It was as if she was unsure and completely oblivious to the world around her. The then leaned back and then went silent and immobile. Collapsing onto the ground her eyes fluttered slightly and her arms fell to the ground as if she were nailed to a cross. A familiar image of Lilith.
I stood there in Unit 01 heaving and gasping fro breath, staring intently at her. The intercom was on the entire time but I never took it into full account. I heard cheers and screams of success from the other side. From this a strange emotion seeped through me like a pleasant chill down my spine.
Now without the guilt and the pain, I learned finally how to, instead of hating myself, be proud of myself, and actually have some esteem and confidence. It felt good. It was something that I had never really experienced and was essentially deprived of. No man on Earth should be deprived of the feeling. It was then that I had felt something even stranger and more obscure than anything I had ever felt before. Wholeness. It was invigorating and almost sensual. It felt as good as way before when I strangled the comatose Asuka. It just felt as if weight had been lifted off of my shoulders and I released my frustrations.
I still staring intently at Rei from the perspective of her feet, walked slowly and cautiously along the side of her. Upon being parallel to her shoulders I saw her face staring up into the sky. I sighed a strong sigh and gave out a tear. Rei's head then suddenly looked directly at me and said in a pale and dying voice…
"If that is what you wish, you will be granted it."
The walls of my heart were complete. Everything I have ever wanted, Every problem I have ever had, was now gone. And I finally had learned to love myself. I looked over at Unit 02. Watching as blinding light engulfed the landscape and as a warm feeling overcame me, I noticed the sky brighten up and almost pull the environment out of focus and into a blurry prism-like reality...
"Asuka…"
* * *
It was dark at first, but little by little I felt something cover me. I actually felt something. At first, only black existed with sounds asunder and the feeling of being weightless. The black then turned into a blurriness but eventually I could make out a skin tone in front of me. Looking forth, my eyes focused on the skin tone and it became apparent that it was a gently formed chest of a man. The illumination of this chest was red tinted as light was coming through layers and layers of skin. I pulled myself against the body in front of me to find several others forming along him. Body after body forming from this skin I struck my hand out trying to escape. My hands then reached out of Rei's fingertips and I pulled myself out of her grasp.
Whilst falling into the L.C.L., I watched as Rei's body began to tighten with forms of bodies coming into sight all over her. It was as if all of the air inside of Rei was being sucked out and her skin was conforming to the human bodies that lay within her. Hands jutted out and heads became visible all over her hips, thighs, torso and various other extremities. People then completely unattached themselves and began falling from Rei's body, as Rei's body was in essence becoming no more, for now everyone was becoming restored.
The black moon exploded releasing the L.C.L. across the globe. The death of such energy did not go unnoticed for as Rei fell apart, Unit 01 (fused with The Lance) released its energy unto the Earth. A sonic burst of sound echoed throughout the universe as white light expanded forth from above Rei. Through some strange fusion, the spreading L.C.L., and the shockwave of energy held from the God known as unit 01 had caused an unusual reaction. From this fusion, familiar shapes arose. Trees, plants, animals, grass; all had been restored to its original state. I watched as color bloomed in the distance and green spiraled out of what was formally nothing. The dilapidated, destroyed buildings, and dark black mountains were enveloped with lush garden-like vegetation as all of the former splinters on the Earth's surface had grown leaves.
Floating in the blood of Lilith, the primordial soup of life, I noticed that the red L.C.L. began to turn clear. The L.C.L. was turning into water. The diffusion of the blood to water caused steam to rise up into the sky. This atmosphere developed into a gorgeous, intense blue, over the surface of the earth. From what I could tell, the Earth had once again restored its former glory. It was as if the earth rebooted itself to where it came from. It was truly a new genesis for mankind.
Mankind, a race a separate and flawed individuals, then began to rise from the waters and crawl on to the land. The image was indeed strange. It looked as if the seas were overcome with people and as if they were overflowing with life. The people were almost being splashed out of the seas and on to land. The beaches were a golden glimmering color and past that a lush green interspersed with various spots of color could be seen. "Anywhere can be paradise as long as you have the will to live…"
I crawled onto the beach, stark naked like everyone else and looked around for any sign of a familiar face. I then noticed Aoba in the distance.
"Aoba!"
"Shinji!"
"You did it Shinji! You saved us all!"
Those words alone caused my heart to race with utter excitement, for that was the greatest remark anyone could have ever received. And that remark was guided surprisingly, towards me. I didn't know what to think of it. All I knew was that I wanted to see more familiar faces.
"I...I did. But what about Misato, Asuka, what about my father?"
All of the sudden Commander Fuyutski appeared out of a large group of people emerging from the waters. Already a few feet from us he had heard our conversation.
"They, wont be coming back…they died before Third Impact, therefore they couldn't have transformed into Lilith…"
"Asuka…" I sighed with a saddened tone.
I would never be seeing her again. Poor Asuka, how I missed her. If only she lasted so much longer. If only I could have saved her. But I have to look past that. I will not revert into the same damned groveling Shinji that I always was. I was reborn. And with that I am new again to reshape myself, my identity. There will be a tomorrow.
"Be grateful Shinji that you're alive." Ibuki then stated.
"Ibuki!" Yelled Aoba.
"So what happens now?" I asked.
"Even that is beyond me." Stated Fuyutski
"Asuka, and Misato…and—" I uttered whilst thinking to myself about various things that recently occurred.
"Listen Shinji, if it means anything to you I'm sure if they were here right now they would be saying this…" Said Fuyutski.
He stuck out his hand and I grasped mine. He shook my hand whole-heartedly and with a sincere expression on his face.
"Congratulations."
It was once again, green and blue. The sky had returned. There was now a struggle. And finally I can see myself. Shinji. I have found you, Shinji.
"As far as gods and Heav'nly essences
Can perish: for the mind and spirit remains
Invincible"
-John Milton, Paradise Lost
End
* * *