Spoilers: Order of the Phoenix
Thank you for the reviews! Sorry to disappoint everyone, but the sender of the socks is still not revealed yet...
Lady Penwrath: this chapter is for you ;)
Ezmerelda: a different sender for each pair of socks... hmmm, what a good idea! But no.
Severus was in his office waiting for Hermione to come once she had finished her dinner when Pansy barged in.
"What's wrong with Granger again?" she exclaimed exasperatedly.
"Meaning?" asked Severus before looking up. "How… fitting," he added mildly when seeing the boils covering her face.
"Stop teasing, I'm not in the mood. I called her a crybaby for whatever reason and she hexed me without any warning! She looked like she was going to cast the Killing Curse if I only made a sound. And as to make matters worse, McGonagall not only didn't punish her, but also almost approved! So I ask: what's wrong with Granger?"
"Well, you could consider that losing her baby only one week and half ago can make her slightly cranky, along with the fact that she's barren, that Voldemort has the four precious bloods in his veins for all we know and that she just discovered that Callisto is dead – which she carefully hadn't been told until now."
"Blimey!" exclaimed Pansy softly. "The Dark Lord murdered her baby? I didn't know that…"
"Obviously. I'm not asking you to coddle her but do be a little considerate and purge your language of words such as baby, mother, pregnancy and also avoid to mention me completely. After all, I was the father."
"You care for her. I can't believe it! You really do care for her! You know the rules: you're a spy, you can't get attached!"
"Miss Parkinson, watch your tongue! I'm a spy for twenty years now and I know what I'm doing. Besides, I'm not the one currently in a relationship with Terence Higgs."
"He's a spy too. We know the rules. If anything happens to the other one, we won't make a move until the game is over. But then Hell will be set loose and revenge will be taken. Terrence wants Draco's hide."
"I have no doubt about this."
"Anyway, you care about her, but she's no spy!"
"She's nothing but a silly Gryffindor who thinks she can outsmart the Dark Lord with stupid little games."
"Actually, her stupid little games probably saved your skin. If she hadn't cast Cruciatus on you, the Dark Lord might have cast the Killing Curse instead."
"What are you trying to do, Pansy?" growled Severus.
"I'm pushing all your buttons to make you react until you realise what it means and accept it," she replied matter-of-factly. "But I would appreciate if you were hurrying, because I'm running out of buttons."
"Be careful not to push one that would unleash something far too much for you to handle," he purred dangerously.
"Fat chance," she replied, smirking.
"Out. I think you have two people to keep an eye on."
Her face grew seriously almost immediately.
"I would like to speak about this with you."
"Tomorrow? I don't have time tonight."
"Tomorrow would be fine. Meanwhile, this is for you."
She shoved a vial in his hands. He looked down at it, then up at her.
"How did you get it?"
"Oh, they never intended to kill me. We were engaged in… uh… other activities when we heard the Dark Lord shouting Granger's name."
They looked at each other when they heard Voldemort call Hermione's name for the third time. They had no idea of what was happening, but they weren't too keen on having a peek.
"Sounds like she's going to go almighty on us from now on," said Pansy, disgusted.
"That's not good. I don't want to obey a Mudblood."
"How about making sure we can come back at her once we're back at Hogwarts?"
"What do you suggest?"
"Nagini's venom. To everybody, it would look like the Dark Lord took his revenge on her."
"Clever. And if it isn't needed, we can still use it for other things, right, Pansy?"
"Right, Greg," she said, her face impassive.
"They know."
"They know too much!" exploded Severus. "I should rather inject them the venom!"
"Their fathers know," she said quietly. "Anyway, that's why I want to talk to you tomorrow. And we need to do something soon. The Dark Lord is getting bolder and bolder, with more attacks on Muggles than ever. Or didn't you read the Daily Prophet this week?"
"What do you mean?"
"Whatever you inflicted him on Samhain wasn't enough. He attacked Muggles on Monday, near the Leaky Cauldron. And yesterday, it was near King's Cross."
"Warnings, then. He's just showing off."
"Well, I would rather have him showing off in Malfoy estates rather than in London," Pansy grumbled.
Then she sighed.
"I have to go back to Gregory and Vincent. Oh, tell my mother that I'm fine, alright?"
"Pansy, I'm already on her red list, so I'm not going to Floo her or to risk the life of an owl just to tell her you are in perfect health and that you are fully taking advantage of your Slytherin upraising."
"Then I guess she will continue to worry, because my mail is read before it leaves Hogwarts.."
"Oh, Pansy. Don't say a word about how you got this," he added, showing the little vial.
"Especially not Granger?"
"Especially not Hermione," he agreed.
She smirked.
"My lips are sealed. Good evening, Professor."
The evening passed slowly, but Hermione didn't come. Then, as curfew drew near, he heard a knock at his door and stood up to open it. A silhouette buried in a cloak was on the threshold. Trembling hands came up to push back the hood, revealing Hermione's face. From the haunted look in her eyes, she had completely forgotten their appointment earlier in the evening.
"Severus, make me forget, please," she whispered, choking.
"Forget what?"
"Everything. The pain, the loneliness. Please. The only moments since the beginning of term when I've been truly happy were with you or the unicorns. But even the unicorns aren't enough anymore. I tried. I went to see the foals and I can only play mournful songs. Please, Severus."
"Come in."
He busied himself for a moment with preparing herself something and when he turned back to her, she had let the cloak slide on the ground and stood in front of him, clothed only with the dark red satin pyjamas he had given her. He forced himself to remain calm and walked to her, pressing the glass in her hand.
"Drink this. Green tea with honey, cool and sweet. It should do you good."
She obeyed and drank half the glass.
"It's good," she murmured.
She looked up at him, then down.
"I'm sorry. It's obvious you don't want to… I'm just making things worse."
He took the glass from her hand and put it on the table behind him. He brushed his fingers against her chin and gently forced her to look up at him, refusing to pretend that he hadn't understood what she meant exactly.
"Hush, sweet. I already told you once that I want you. I still do, never doubt that. But you said once that you wanted to take things slow."
She shook her head fiercely.
"I don't care right now. I know that what I'm doing is nothing short of using you, but I need to know that something can be right in my life, if only for a few moments! Please, Severus? I'm begging you."
He pulled her in his arms and gently cradled her against him.
"Don't feel like you need to apologise, sweet. I know how much you're hurting. The only proof I need is that you came to me for help; if you didn't hurt, you would have stood up on your own. I'm sorry, sweet, I'm so sorry for all you had to go through. I'm sorry that you had to suffer the loss of our son."
"Severus… you said 'our' son," she murmured against his chest.
"So I did."
"I didn't know you cared."
"I do, believe me, I do. But sweet, I never wanted you to be hurt, never to the point of having you beg me."
"Help me?"
He bent down and eased his lips on hers. She sighed against his mouth and closed her eyes as her arms went around his neck, pulling him closer. His hand came up under her pyjama top, caressing the skin of her back, as soft as he remembered it, and she arched against him. Taking his decision, he lifted her in his arms and strode toward his bedroom.
"Give me something to dream about instead of the nightmares haunting my sleep," she murmured against his ear.
He grinned down at her.
"You won't sleep tonight," he promised as he closed the door behind them.
She chuckled weakly at his suggestive tone and surrendered to his care.
Curfew was long gone when Hermione finally pulled away from Severus's arms. She stretched lazily before snuggling against him again with obvious relish.
"Severus, I know you took some of my blood after the incident with the narwhal tusk. When I was then the perfect Child of the first prophecy."
"So?" he said, shrugging, not liking being interrogated.
"I know what you intend to do. The combination of unicorn blood and virgin blood can counterbalance the effects of unicorn blood taken from a slain unicorn. My blood at that time had Rowena, Helga and Godric's blood. All but Salazar's. There is a potion that will annihilate everything it can match. Voldemort will be nothing more than what he was before he drank the unicorn blood."
"Very good, Miss Granger, I see you took advantage of your hours back to the library," he replied, taking his best teaching tone. "Is it what you spent your time thinking about while you were stuck in the infirmary?"
"There's still the problem of the snake venom from Nagini."
"Leave it to me. I'll deal with it. Trust me. Well, I would if there was a chance for him to drink the potion."
"Make that potion. I will make sure he drinks it."
"How? Do you intend to make yourself look like a houri and present him the potion as a gage of your endless love?"
"Don't worry yourself with this problem. It is mine to solve. I will give you the opportunity to give it to him. It's the only thing you need to know," she said resolutely.
"Don't you go do anything foolish! Even when he already was inside Hogwarts with Quirrell, he didn't dare do anything."
"He was weak."
"He will not come."
"He will. I will make him come. Besides, it quite looked like as if he liked the houri style on Samhain…"
He gathered her more closely in his arms.
"I know you feel empty inside now, sweet, but don't do anything rash. You… you would be missed were you to fall."
Before she could answer, he ran his hand up and down her ribs in a slow movement, awakening her passion, and she moaned softly.
"Severus…"
"You are not alone. I am here with you," he whispered back, leaning over her, burying his head in the crook of her neck, kissing softly the warm skin there.
She clasped her arms around him and held him close to her, her grip so strong that it seemed she would never relinquish it.
She awoke later, her head lying on his chest, safely ensconced in his arms. Even in the darkness of the room, she could see the light smile on his lips.
"Did I sleep long?" she asked, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands like a child.
"Half an hour, I think."
"You told me I wouldn't sleep tonight," she mock-pouted.
"So did I, sweet, but you needed it. And you didn't have any nightmare or am I mistaken?"
"No nightmare," she admitted. "What time is it?"
"Around three in the morning for all I know. We still have time."
She nestled comfortably against him, her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest. He covered her hand with his while curling a protective arm around her and holding her tight.
"I didn't know you could be so relaxed," she said, wriggling her hand from under his and tracing little circles on his chest.
He grabbed her hand again and growled.
"Stop this or I won't stay relaxed for long!" he replied, pretending to be hurt by her little giggle. "Of course you didn't know I could be relaxed; after all, I spent a long time working on my greasy git reputation."
She moved until she could rest her chin on his chest, looking up at him.
"Why did you do that? Why would you demean yourself and make you hateful to the eyes of the others?"
"Because I am labelled as belonging to the evil side. Besides, I have enough hate in me to look properly hateful toward the whole word, and you can thank the Marauders for this. What's more, as the students are terrified, it allows me better control on them and I can teach more advanced subjects than if I were coddling you all along."
"True, I remember Umbridge saying that we were advanced in fifth year," she said dreamily. "So does this mean you never had to fend off a student's advances before even when you were practically their age?"
"Jealous, are you? In case you didn't notice, I was thirty-one when you came here. I hardly look different now. Being a spy takes a toll on me and I look older than I am."
She gently ran her fingers along his nose.
"Will you look your age once Voldemort is dead?" she asked softly.
"Maybe. Anyway, I also used a sort of detracting charm, to make me look older than I really was. And even when I was a student here, I was hardly the kind of boy the girls were dreaming of," he concluded darkly.
"And you were not attracted to any of them?"
"As I told Albus before all this began, I never lusted after a student during all my time here. The little dunderheads hold no interest to me whatsoever, except for them to reach their seventh year unscathed. Even you," he added, cupping her face, "could not bring me to think of you that way. But I have to admit that I was more interested in you than in the others; your mind is a treasure."
She sighed and rubbed herself against him like a cat.
"Finally, Professor Snape gave me a compliment!" she purred contentedly. "How about putting this brilliant mind of mine to work?"
Her hand wandered on his chest while she was looking at him innocently.
"Hmm, later I think," he replied, gently pushing her on her back. "You just postponed the moment."
She laughed softly and welcomed him with open arms.
"So, what about those socks?" she asked later, her head once again pillowed on his chest.
"We need to get up if you want to see them," he said.
"Tell me about them before we move," she replied, with a clear lack of motivation.
He smiled in the dark, thinking that concentrating on a problem would probably be the best way for her to forget a little her pain. So, patiently, he began telling her of the messages and the associated socks and she was listening attentively while drawing random patterns on his arm with her finger.
"I would never have sent the Gryffindor ones," she murmured.
"All of them – except yours, thinking of it – have second meanings. For the ones related to Hogwarts, it's fairly simple, even the one about Helga's blood. I'm a bit more perplexed with the three others. Joy and despair for the unicorn blood…"
"Joy because it saved me from the blood poisoning. Despair because it condemned Voldemort to a cursed life."
He nodded.
"I'm not that sure about the Dark Lord knowing the meaning of despair, except when Potter has yet thwarted another of his plans," he said dryly, tangling his fingers in her hair.
She mumbled something noncommittally.
"But the two next ones are surprising, to say the least. Blood of pain. Darkness always steals. And wins? Without mentioning that degrading note on my usual style," he added, trying to sound vexed.
She sniggered lightly, the sound rumbling against his chest.
"True. You never wear black. I thought you would like the Slytherin socks, honestly."
"I did. Very nice. The proof is that they're pinned on my wall," he replied, deadpan. "Anyway. I can see what the blood of pain is, what darkness stole, but the second meaning eludes me."
"I think the last comment is just a warning. And darkness stole many things to our side. It stole Harry's parents, Neville's parents, Sirius, Professor Vector, our child…"
"Your innocence. I'm worried that it could mean something else. After all, we played the Dark Lord's game the first time. I hope that we're not his puppets again now. He would kill you this time, since you would be the opponent."
"He has tried to kill Harry countless times and has failed each time. I have an army of bodyguards following each of movements, so he can't reach me here. He will have to come to Hogwarts, on our ground, with our rules."
He tugged gently on one of her locks.
"I wish I knew who sent the packages. It would help to decipher the hidden meanings of those messages."
"Did you ask Artaban?"
"You can't ask an owl, Hermione!"
"Well, you could if you were an owl Animagus!" she defended. "Will you keep the nightmares at bay?" she added, cuddling up against him, snug in his arms, her hair spread on his chest.
He nodded with a smile, glad to see that she looked a bit more like herself, the haunted look of her eyes having faded slightly, and he made sure that she felt the safe embrace of his arms around her. She had given him the comfort of safety last time, now it was his turn. He caressed her back in a soothing motion, relaxing her further.
"Ask the portraits, they will tell you," she mumbled sleepily.
"It will take forever to ask them the one after the other."
"Nonsense," she said, yawning. "You just need to open your mind. It's harder to make them shut up. They just can't stop talking!"
Severus gaped in surprise but Hermione was already asleep. He had thousands of questions to ask her, but he knew she needed her sleep. Gathering her in his arms, he wondered if she truly realised the scale of what she had said.