Spoilers: Order of the Phoenix
Thank you for the reviews!
Ezmerelda: no, I'm not a fan of "A Series of Unfortunate Events". In fact, I have the first one on my bookshelf for more than two months and I still haven't read it. I promise that this is the last fall out! I'll be good now :)
Severus clutched the crystal ball in his hands. The scene playing inside was happening in the Slytherin seventh year boys' dormitory and it included two boys and a girl. The other Slytherin boys had been forcefully asked to find somewhere else to sleep. Vincent and Gregory turned around for Hermione to change into her nightclothes – a decency that Severus didn't have. He sighed, almost unable to believe that it had been only the previous night that he had had her in his arms, his hands caressing her body. He felt a pang of bitterness when he saw that she wasn't wearing the dark red satin pyjamas anymore. Instead she was wearing pyjamas of blue velvet, far too large for her. It looked like they were men's pyjamas.
"Those pyjamas don't belong to you," commented Vincent, looking at her.
"Good, you finally connected your eyes to your brain," she replied.
"Whose are they?"
She sighed exasperatedly.
"Terry's. Terry Boot's."
Vincent's brow furrowed in perplexity.
"Ravenclaw guy," said Gregory helpfully.
"Oh. The one who tried to come to us tonight while your friends were ready to dismember Snape?"
"Yes, the one who proved to me he was here for me when my friends reacted as if they were outraged that Snape had kicked their favourite dog."
She wrapped her arms around herself, looking lost in the too big pyjamas. Terry had probably lent her those for comfort.
Vincent shooed her to bed and she climbed up in Draco's bed, Vincent and Gregory in the beds on each side of hers. Severus's hands tightened around the crystal ball. They were breaking every rule by doing so! And if they ever lay a finger on Hermione… he would be sent to Azkaban for the murder of two students, Voldemort or not.
Sighing, he cast a spell to alert him if movement happened in the room and went to his own bed. Hermione's smell was still on the pillow and sheets. Closing his eyes to breathe it in, Severus swore to himself that he wouldn't let her go away ever again. But first, he had to win her back and he almost pitied whoever would stand on his way, were they the two Slytherins or the brown-eyed Ravenclaw who irritated him rather too much recently.
He was glad that the following day was a Saturday. It would mean that no student would try to kill him during classes. He had just finished to get ready when he heard a knock at his door. He hoped it was Hermione, even though he knew it wasn't likely. It was Viktor. Severus let him enter and busied himself with preparing tea. After a long silence, Viktor looked at his surly friend, slumped in his chair, brooding and cradling his mug in his hands, staring at it as if it held the universal answer.
"You really do care for her, don't you?" he said in wonder.
"Congratulations, you got yourself a brain. Or at least a very good echo cavity to make Pansy's words sound like yours."
"Well, if you weren't so sullen–"
"Did you make an habit of stating the obvious? Of course I care for her; that's why I'm sullen. Now leave me alone before I bite you."
"Severus, have you tried talking to her? Knowing what she likes?"
"Sorry, we were too caught up in how to survive," Severus said sarcastically.
Viktor sighed. This was going to be a long day.
"Do you know if she likes Wizard Chess?"
"She doesn't. Weasley always makes a show when he wins and she's disgusted of the game," he replied absentmindedly.
"But what does she like besides books?" insisted Viktor.
"Freedom," retorted Severus gloomily.
Viktor gave up.
"I can't believe what I did," muttered Severus. "I don't even understand! Why can't I just stun myself into oblivion?"
"What happened?"
"I thought that saying 'I screwed up' summarised it all?"
"Details, Severus. I can't help you without details."
"Crabbe and Goyle were in the common room and I thought it would be a good idea to spy on them when I heard them saying that they would be willing to exchange Pansy against… something. I didn't know what, it was probably part of what they were saying earlier. Well, Crabbe was saying it and Goyle was agreeing. I don't know what possessed me, I stepped forward and I told them that maybe we could discuss the subject. Then I completely lost my mind because I promised them whatever they wanted, without knowing. I thought that maybe it would be school-related or annoying Potter or even my surrendering to the Dark Lord, but I never suspected they would attack Hermione."
Viktor examined his friend critically.
"You're tired. Your defences were low."
"I'm a spy, Viktor! Even tired, even on the verge of death, I need my wits about! I couldn't get out of the bargain and that's how Hermione is now their slave and will hate me for the rest of her days."
"She should know you didn't deliberately trade her. We have to tell her! I would do it, but she's giving me the cold shoulder. In fact, she avoids everyone who had a contact with you, except Terry."
Severus growled. He was getting rather tired of having the Ravenclaw always on his way.
"And it seems there is something wrong with Hermione's repulsion about contact," added Viktor cautiously, "because she has been seen holding Terry's hand."
Severus had a mirthless laugh.
"I wouldn't put it past her to do that just to spite me! By the way, don't worry about her knowing. She knows just fine."
"What do you mean? How could she know if we didn't tell us? Crabbe and Goyle won't tell her the truth, you know that!"
"She doesn't need them. If, by now, she sorted through the images of the Slytherin common room, she already knows every word of the conversation I had with Crabbe and Goyle. And she will have only one conclusion: that I cared too much for Pansy to care for anyone else, mainly, her."
Viktor looked nonplussed but he felt that Severus wasn't up to answer too many questions, so he asked his last one:
"So what are you going to do?"
"Make this stupid potion, get rid of the Dark Lord and then I don't know, though killing myself for my own stupidity sounds really good now."
Before Viktor could reply, Severus had left his room for his laboratory.
As the first week went by, no matter the opinion of the students – or the staff – Severus managed to keep them in check. His only preoccupations were the reversing potion and spying on Hermione when Vincent and Gregory were with her. She carried her collar with defiance and had her wand on the ready each time someone – mainly Slytherin – mocked her. Curiously, the teachers – including Severus – were always looking the other way when she hexed a fellow student.
The evenings, when he was sure the potion would simmer gently, he would sit in his favourite armchair, his fingers closed around the crystal ball as if it were the most precious thing in the world. Sometimes, after Vincent and Gregory had fallen asleep, she would slip out of bed and out of the Slytherin tower, the doors opening silently under her touch. He knew she didn't have the passwords, yet no door remained closed to her.
"Bloods of the Founders," he muttered as he watched her walking the corridors, the portraits all greeting her enthusiastically. "I can't believe I didn't think of that effect."
She entered Gryffindor tower and went straight to the seventh year boys' dormitory. Somehow, Severus was glad it wasn't the Ravenclaw one but he was still worried. Harry was still awake, apparently waiting for her. They sat together on his bed and she cast a Silencing Charm on both of them. Severus swore.
He became more and more curious, since he saw her repeat this every evening. They seemed very serious and Harry looked more dedicated than Severus had ever seen him. Then, at the end of the week, he caught Hermione's last words just before she left Gryffindor tower:
"One week left, Harry. We have to be ready."
"And then you will lose this collar? The colours don't really suit you," he added, trying to lighten the mood.
She tugged slightly on the green and silver collar.
"Revenge is a dish best eaten cold," she replied, her eyes darkening with repressed anger.
Harry shivered slightly and tried to smile.
"Remind me of never getting on your bad side."
She smirked and left him, silently going back to her bed between Vincent and Gregory's.
The following morning, Hermione, ignoring Vincent and Gregory, went to have breakfast at the Gryffindor table. Strangely enough, the leash was reaching across the Great Hall so that it was still fastened to Gregory's wrist and the Slytherin didn't seem bothered by the fact that it was passing over the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables. The owls came in for delivering mail and Severus frowned suspiciously at the black owl, so typical, swooping toward Hermione. Even from the Head Table, he could see the Death Mark on the seal and frowned, wondering what Voldemort could want now. Hermione read her letter carefully, took her wand and made a copy of the letter with a simple flick of her wrist. She grabbed Pigwidgeon who was gleefully eating bacon from Ron's plate and tied the letter to its leg. The little owl hooted and took its flight, straight for the Head Table. Severus noticed the brief glance Hermione shot in his direction and understood she was sending him a copy of the letter. He scowled when Pigwidgeon landed in his glass of pumpkin juice.
"I think I hate this owl even more than its master," he muttered. "Compared to it, give me Artaban any time."
He unrolled the letter and read the first words, written in Hermione's handwriting. Thought you might want to know. He sighed; he was sure that if she had taken the time, she would have made the ink drip venom. He scanned quickly the content of the letter and, stunned, read it again. So, beloved, it seems you are still standing, ready for battle. I bow to your stubbornness. Maybe I will reconsider my last decision then. Your Gryffindor traits don't seem so hindering now so I will make you my queen, for real this time. I could even heal your barrenness – after all, I know the spell I cast – and then our children would take over the world. I hope you didn't believe Severus's words; I assume that by now, you know he told you only lies. Wait for me, beloved, I will come to you. Soon. Your Tom.
Severus was flabbergasted. First of all, just the signature was surprising. Voldemort didn't like his Muggle name and then, just the use of the possessive was wrong. Then he recalled the way Hermione said Voldemort's name on Samhain and winced inwardly. He noticed the sentence added at the end: Makes the houri plan sound quite good, doesn't it?
He looked up at her but she was absorbed in her breakfast – and maybe the fact that Harry had his hand curled around hers had something to do with her refusal to look at the Head Table. Megan, still sitting on the other side of Harry, didn't seem to mind the last bit. Severus was furious with himself for feeling jealous. Standing up, he left the Great Hall without looking back, but still had the time to hear Viktor's sigh behind him.
He went back to his potion, looking at it for quite a long time before taking his decision. It was all good and well to mourn for Hermione's loss, but it wouldn't help in defeating Voldemort and winning her back. He carefully added Helga and Rowena's blood to the potion with some finely powdered ginger root. The potion turned a bright orange and Severus hid a grimace of distaste. He hated orange as a colour – especially since it reminded him of all the Weasleys he had had in class.
He rubbed his temples wearily. He had the impression to hear a buzzing sound in his head, whispered noises almost forming words, beckoning him outside. He thought bitterly that with his skills at Occlumency, he would avoid such predicament, but obviously, some people managed to pass through his barriers. With a sigh, he forced himself to relax and the sounds became clearer. He couldn't mistake this insistent voice in his head, this voice calling him to the Forbidden Forest, this voice sounding suspiciously like Firene's. He sighed again; though he couldn't shake it out of his head, he decided to ignore the unicorn's summon and raised again his mental barriers.
Finally, two days before the potion was completed, he surrendered to the incessant buzz in his mind and left for the Forbidden Forest. There, at the edge, was Firene, pacing nervously.
"Dark One, thou camest!" he exclaimed with relief. "Now, before thou askest anything of me, let me rest a while. Calling thee was draining."
Frowning, Severus sat on a dead trunk, patiently waiting for the unicorn to tell him the reason of his call. Then the black eyes turned to him.
"Thou needst some of my blood."
Severus wore a polite expression of surprise.
"My daughter is barren. Thou needst my blood to cure her."
"I was rather thinking of phoenix tears."
"Of course. But she already has some of my blood coursing through her veins. Using it again in the draught thou wilt prepare would increase its power."
Severus nodded thoughtfully. He hadn't thought of it, but then, it wasn't every day that someone had willingly given unicorn blood in one's veins. Without waiting, Firene scratched his flank with his horn and let Severus collect the silver blood.
"I have a favour to ask from thee, Dark One," said the unicorn humbly, cautiously. "I am worried about my daughter."
"I'm the wrong one to ask, Firene," he interrupted brutally. "I'm not in her good graces currently and I doubt I will ever be back in her good graces, even if I cure her barrenness."
"Evil will come and I will be there by her side. This is my fate," continued Firene as if Severus hadn't said anything. "But I need thee to tell me when to come. I want thee to bond with me."
Severus smiled coldly.
"She's bound to me, I would be bound to thee and thou art her unicorn father. No way, I don't like circles. There's always a catch in perfection and circles are the perfect geometric shape, no beginning and no end."
"Please, I beg of thee. Her safety is precious to me. The bond will not take any toll on thee. Just place thine hand on my horn."
Severus had done a huge mistake recently and he thought lengthily at Firene's request. He didn't want to repeat his previous error and alienate Hermione even further. He looked deep in the liquid black eyes staring unwaveringly at him. He knew how to tell lies just by looking at people and he could tell that Firene was truly worried about Hermione. But then, worried people tended to make stupid things; he winced inwardly. He knew it perfectly, since he had done exactly that two weeks prior.
He passed his hand in his hair several times, nervously. He knew that his relationship with Hermione had fallen apart because none of them had trusted the other. If he had trusted Hermione with the information about the spies in the Death Eaters' ranks and if she had trusted him about Pansy… Pansy. It almost made him laugh. Ivy Parkinson, previously known as Ivy Rosier, was his cousin. She had pushed Lucius to recruit Severus for Voldemort and it had taken him maybe two days to really realise what a sham the Dark Lord truly was. But it had taken him longer to go to Albus and confess. Then he had turned spy and had discovered, without real surprise, that Ivy was a spy also. In a certain way, Ivy had been glad to know that Severus was teaching at Hogwarts: she had named him responsible for Pansy but then, she had probably never foreseen that the girl would decide to become a spy also at only eleven.
He mentally shook his head, breathed deeply and took a leap of faith. Against his best judgement, he put his palm on the tip of Firene's horn. Instinctively knowing what to do, he slowly pressed his hand down, feeling the sharp tip pierce his skin. A sudden cold invaded his palm, then his whole hand, finally numbing his entire arm until he couldn't even feel the horn under his fingers. Blood trickled down the coiled horn, staining it. Firene shuddered violently in pain as his horn absorbed Severus's blood. Gritting his teeth, Severus willed himself to move and took his hand away from the horn, cradling it in his other hand. Firene was breathing heavily, his black eyes filled with pain.
"I had forgotten that thou art Salazar's Heir," he whispered.
"Don't ever do that again!" Severus hissed angrily.
Firene nodded humbly and then, in Severus's head, a voice asked timidly:
"Doest thou hear me now, Dark One?"
It was much clearer than the previous message Firene had tried to get through and Severus agreed reluctantly. He could now communicate from afar with the lord of the unicorns.
He checked a last time on the reversing potion before going back to his quarters. He took the little vial containing Firene's blood from his pocket and looked at it thoughtfully. He would have loved to begin immediately the potion for curing Hermione but he knew better, especially after the letter she had received less than a week before. But it didn't forbid him to begin the healing potion even so; he just… wouldn't tell her. He knew where it had led before, him keeping secrets from her, but he didn't want to raise her hopes if it led to nothing. Now he had to find some phoenix tears and somehow, he doubted that Albus would be delighted to ask Fawkes for him. It seemed the Headmaster wasn't really convinced of the veracity of Pansy's story. Perhaps it had to do with the rumours that still persisted like Severus had given Hermione as a plaything to the two Slytherins.
He lowered the wards of his private office and opened the door. He stopped on the threshold. On his desk, a flurry of scarlet and gold welcomed him, faintly glowing, and black eyes turned to look at him.
"Fawkes?" Severus murmured in wonder.
He slowly reached for the phoenix, brushing his fingertips against the golden tail feathers, feeling them hot to the touch.
"Did Albus send you here or did you come on your own?"
Fawkes returned his gaze silently and Severus sighed.
"Are you here for giving me tears? For Hermione?"
Fascinated, he watched as the pearly, thick tear appeared at the corner of the phoenix's eye. Quickly, he reached on his left and grabbed an empty vial, cautiously gathering the precious tears. As soon as it was filled, Fawkes flew away and Severus didn't even care. He quickly set up a place for conducting his experiments, placed the unicorn blood and phoenix tears under such heavy wards that the vials would be destroyed before someone else than him could get to them. This done, he hurried to the Hospital Wing.
Needless to say, Poppy wasn't happy to see him.
"The readings for Hermione's barrenness? Is it so that you can hurt the poor child even more?"
Severus rolled his eyes.
"As if it was my only goal in life! Poppy, I need those readings. I can't work on a cure without them."
"You said it was not curable," she replied suspiciously.
He shrugged.
"Do you think I have a chance otherwise?"
Poppy gaped. Here he was, telling her that he was attempting something impossible so that he would be forgiven!
"Did you send your mind on vacations?"
"I wish. Those readings, please, Poppy? And the secret about this? I don't want Hermione to hope if I fail…"
It was the last sentence and the slight pleading tone in his voice that decided her. Severus never pleaded. Of course, it could be part of his plan to regain his credibility – he could easily have stolen the readings – but she chose to discard this possibility. As she gave him a copy of the readings, she asked softly:
"Why did you do such a thing, Severus?"
"I don't know. But believe me, if I could, I would take her place…"
He left the Hospital Wing with a twisted, bitter smirk. It seemed that Poppy wasn't against him anymore.