Spoilers: Order of the Phoenix
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They stared at each other for quite a long time, in silence. He tried to find his old self back and sneered at her, not really hopeful.
"So this is goodbye?" he asked, keeping his voice carefully devoid of any emotion. "Who won? Young Boot?"
She shot him a reproachful glance, as if to tell him to drop the act. He did and felt like a drowning man. He rubbed his forehead wearily. He could feel Firene's distressed presence in the back of his mind, he had put himself bare in front of Hermione earlier in the day, he had confessed everything to Albus only minutes ago and he had had a verbal fight with Salazar's ghost!
"I need a break," he murmured.
In front of him, Hermione was still, her brown eyes fixed on him. Sighing, he looked up at her. Her stern appearance was not to reassure him that his day would become better all of the sudden. He stepped back and had an inviting move to beckon her inside his private quarters.
"Have a seat," he said, keeping his voice neutral without reverting back to his usual snapping tone.
"Do you mean it?" she blurted.
He slowly turned around to face her and cocked his eyebrow.
"Why, yes, I would not offer you a seat if I didn't mean it."
She waved her hand impatiently.
"Not that! What you told me earlier. That you love me too much to cage me."
He looked down at his hands, cursing inwardly. Why was it so hard to tell her how he felt? Salazar's words rang again in his head: You're surly and sarcastic, why would she want to be with you when she could be with Helga's Heir or her brother from Ravenclaw? That was his fear, that he had only been on Hermione's path because she needed Salazar's blood, but that in fact, she would be with Viktor in the end. But she was still waiting for his answer and he owed her to be honest.
"Yes," he said quietly, not even raising his eyes.
She stepped forward, her hand only inches from his chest.
"Severus…"
His breath caught in his throat. Gently, her hand came closer to his chin, brushed slightly against it before sliding to his neck and pulling his head downward. Her lips met his midway and he closed his eyes. Was it a farewell kiss or was she telling him that she didn't want to leave? Either way, he knew he would accept her choice without protesting.
"Look at me, Severus," she whispered, her lips against his.
He didn't protest and merely obeyed. His will seemed to be broken, but he knew, in the back of his mind, that his only chance to win Hermione's heart was to show himself to her in all his vulnerability. He lost himself in her eyes, which he hadn't seen so clear for a long time; the shadows that had invaded them since the beginning of term were now gone.
"I want to stay," she said softly.
He took her face in his hands, his eyes intent.
"After the blood binding ceremony, it will be forever."
She nodded and he replied with a half-mocking, half-tender smile.
"You don't know what you're asking for."
She smiled back and rested her head against his chest. He closed his arms around her and, Cornelius be hanged, he would never let her go.
He woke up on Sunday morning with her still gently asleep in his arms. He had held her all night long, tangling his fingers in her hair to make sure it wasn't a dream. She had fallen asleep almost immediately, safely cradled against his chest, and no nightmare came to haunt her.
She sighed when she felt him move and opened her eyes to look at him.
"Good morning, Severus," she said sleepily.
"Good morning, Hermione."
She looked at him for quite a long time and he began to wonder what she was going to say.
"You worked so hard for making my life normal again. Why didn't you tell me anything?"
"Because I brought enough pain in your life without adding the pain of crushed hopes."
"I'm sorry. You did so much for me and I was cold to you for something that you did against your will."
"You didn't know then… Everybody would have reacted like you."
"But I received the letter and for a stupid reason, I believed Draco instead of believing you like I should have done!"
"And I should have hexed Crabbe and Goyle when I had the chance," he retorted wryly. "Forget this, it's in the past now. We need to forgive each other if we want to start anew."
She nodded, burying her head in his neck.
"What better way to start anew than sleep in on a Sunday morning?" she murmured dreamily.
"Obviously, some people are of another mind," he said irritably.
She craned her neck to look at him.
"What do you mean?"
"You know that Firene and I are mentally bound? He did something with my blood on his horn – and before you say something, yes, I should have looked for what he did exactly – and since then, I can hear him all the time, sometimes I can even see what he sees. That's what happened the evening you faced the Dark Lord. While you were playing games with him, I was in the Forbidden Forest, facing the centaurs."
"I still can't believe he managed to force the centaurs to come to our help. I mean, Magorian and Bane hate us with fierceness."
"They indeed do, but still, they owed Firene. Centaurs are honourable if nothing else. Besides, I don't think we treat them much better than they us."
"Fighting for the rights of centaurs, are you?" she said with a light smile.
"It's not worse than fighting for the rights of house elves and no, we're not going into a discussion about this."
"Alright, so tell me why the fact that Firene and you are mentally bound is important."
"Because he's calling me right now. Or rather, he's calling us. It must be important and, anyway, you didn't go to see him after the final confrontation."
"True. I should have thanked him. Even though, by that time, I would have preferred to see his horn in my heart than in Draco's."
"Stop saying such stupid things."
And to make his point even clearer, he bent down and kissed her.
Firene was waiting for them at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. His appearance surprised them and made them stop in their tracks: his coat was torn and dirty, his horn stained with dried blood.
"Firene?"
"I have come to say goodbye to you, my children," said the unicorn with a tired voice.
"Goodbye? What doest thou mean, Firene?"
"I shed blood. I shed the blood of a heart. I have been exiled for committing a crime that no unicorn should ever commit."
"But Draco asked thee to!"
"It does not matter, daughter. What they did was right. We are supposed to be observers, not participants, in the human wars. But thou camest, with thy songs so pure and so enticing, thou hast awakened mine heart and my blood runs in thy veins. Thy fate became my concern as well as thy companion in life."
Hermione glanced nervously at Severus. While they had resolved some problems, they had never talked of the future. Except, Severus realised suddenly, when Hermione had told him that he didn't have to worry for his descendants because she was barren.
"Isn't there a way for me to take thy sin as mine own?" pleaded Hermione, her fingers gently untangling Firene's mane. "It was my fault thou hadst to come to Hogwarts, it was for saving me from evil that thou–"
"Hush, daughter. There is nothing to be done. It is not death, but exile. The sentence is fair. I was the lord of the unicorns and had to be an example. What I did was inexcusable. I have to atone for my deeds. A few years and they will accept me back in their ranks."
His eyes were locked with Severus and the wizard nodded curtly. He knew that few exiled unicorns, no matter how short the exile was, had made it back to their tribe alive. A lonely unicorn was easy prey, which meant that they were usually preyed upon by dark wizards.
"Farewell, daughter. Do not grieve for me. The joy of knowing thou art happy with my son will heal any of my wounds. Farewell, Dark One."
"Farewell, Firene," said Severus gruffly, wrapping his arm around Hermione's shoulders. "Thou art welcome in Hogwarts anytime."
Firene inclined his head, understanding what he meant. Even if the unicorns had cast him away, Hogwarts would be his haven if needed. But Severus doubted that the former lord of the unicorns would come: he would want to serve his sentence fairly and thus atone for his crime. There were only few chances he would ever see Firene alive.
Gently, the unicorn rubbed his nose against Hermione's stomach.
"Take care of mine young, daughter," he said affectionately. "I doubt that my tribe will forgive humans for having meddled too much. They may not accept them even though blood should be thicker than anything else."
"I will, I promise thee, Firene," she said sadly. "Please do try to come back," she added in a soft plea.
Firene didn't answer but cast a last glance toward Severus, who tightened his hold on Hermione's shoulders. Then the unicorn disappeared in the depths of the Forbidden Forest.
If he were to believe Hermione, both Rowena and Salazar were making themselves quite discreet in Hogwarts. In fact, nobody had seen them since the day Severus had thrown Salazar out of his rooms.
"Do you think it means we have our free will totally back?" she asked, her head on his shoulder as they were reading a book about fantastic beasts, looking for data on phoenixes.
"I think it means they will probably tone it down. I did find that spell to ward my quarters against them, after all. Unless they possess us again."
There was a silence during which they read a few sentences and then she said:
"Do you still feel Firene in your head?"
He started. The presence of the unicorn was a bit shallower than before, but he could still feel it. If he concentrated enough, he could even see the surroundings and he didn't like what he saw. For all he knew, the unicorns had exiled their former lord in the darkest part of the Forbidden Forest.
"He's still alive," he replied reluctantly.
Yet. How long before he succumbs to the evil lurking in there?
"Can we go to the clearing we used to go?"
"Of course."
They made their way silently and, somehow, a silver flute found its way into Hermione's hand. She began by the song to the unicorn but, unsurprisingly, Firene didn't respond to it. She seemed disappointed, but looked as if she was expecting it even so. She played several mournful songs and somehow, Severus could tell which ones Callisto had taught to her and which ones were coming from another source. He knew the songs that had been created specifically for unicorns and he didn't need to take a wild guess to know where this knowledge came from. Obviously, his bond with Firene went even further than the unicorn himself had planned.
Slowly, with her music, Hermione revealed to him all the feelings she had repressed since that night she had come to him. He now knew that she loved him for quite a long time and it put everything under a new light. Her distress when she had heard of his betrayal toward her because of Gregory and Vincent, her growing hatred toward herself for loving him still, for feeling torn in front of his obvious regret and bewilderment when she was the victim of his plan, her loneliness while she was teaching Harry the Obliviate spell, her uncertainty when facing Voldemort, her despair when she understood that Draco was dead and that she was still alive, her fear when told she had to meet with Lucius Malfoy.
She poured everything in her music and bared her soul to his eyes, leaving him in awe. While he had known that she had felt other things than the coldness she had affected, he hadn't known of the extent of her feelings and he hadn't even guessed how much she had taken to heart his apparent rejection of her. Hearing the notes flowing fluidly from the silver flute, the image of a wounded bird made its way to his mind and he fought to drive it away from his thoughts. Severus was not good for dealing with emotions, especially when he didn't know if he was possessed or not by the spirit of a long-dead Slytherin.
She stood up for a last melody, a heart-rending song that was echoing in his heart, his link with Firene telling him the exact meaning of such a song for a unicorn, the sadness of the player and the tentative to convey comfort to the listeners. Silently, slowly for not startling her, he came to stand behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. She slightly nodded in acknowledgement but didn't stop in her music, giving her whole heart to it, trying to express all it meant to her, for Firene to be gone.
Severus could feel the invisible presences around them, those of the unicorns. They would have come to Hermione if they had performed the purifying ritual beforehand, but the lack of it and his own dark presence were enough to keep them away. Thinking of it, Firene had been a courageous lord for his people, daring to take risks for causes he thought to be just. The rest of his people seemed to be of a conservative mind. He hoped that the foals would be more like Firene, but knowing Hermione, they would.
Hermione completed her melody and lowered her flute, looking around quite warily.
"They're here," she said quietly. "They're watching us."
"Yes," he agreed. "They're seizing you up, trying to determine if the quality of your music was enough for Firene to break such a rule."
"Was it really?" she murmured darkly.
He squeezed her shoulder gently and led her out of the forest. She glanced only once behind her, saying her goodbyes to the clearing where she had met Firene so often. Somehow she knew that she wouldn't see him anymore, unless a miracle happened. If he came back alive from his exile, there was no doubt that his people – and the new lord – would forbid him to come back near humans ever again.
Severus woke up with a start, his mind in a twirl of dark surroundings. Hermione was still sleeping peacefully next to him, Albus and Minerva closing their eyes on the fact that she was missing from Gryffindor Tower since the choice Severus gave her. They knew she needed comfort to heal and they were willing to overlook the fact that she found solace in the arms of the Potions Master.
He silently eased out of his bed, careful not to wake her, while fighting to keep his control on his mind. Visions of the Forbidden Forest were invading his thoughts, threatening to make him black out once again. He used his science in Occlumency to partially block the input from Firene without totally cutting him off. He had the feeling that it was important.
Without waiting any longer, he made his way toward the Forbidden Forest, just pausing the time for him to put on something over his nightclothes. He had a last glance toward Hermione, briefly wondering if he should cast a sleeping spell on her so she wouldn't wake up alone, but deciding against it.
Only moments after, he was flying toward the Forbidden Forest. He could feel that Firene was in danger, but, surprisingly, there was another presence with him, not hostile, but not really friendly either. And then, there was the danger, which felt oddly familiar to him, though not to Firene. He went faster, hoping against hope that he would arrive in time.
"Do not grieve, my son. I have to atone for my crime."
"Firene, no! Thou canst not throw thy life away like this! Thou needst to fight!"
The unicorn turned the head away and Severus saw who was the other presence. Bane was here, his dark hair framing the strong features of his face, an arrow notched to his bow.
"He has been a companion of mine lately," said Firene. "Magorian has an odd sense of honour. He knew of my sentence and sent one of his people to watch over me until my time has come. I asked him not to intervene now."
"Thou wilt break Hermione's heart."
"She will heal, in time."
Severus could feel the pain of Firene when he was speaking of Hermione. He knew how dedicated to his young the unicorn could be.
"Don't do that, Firene. The foals need a father who is a unicorn, not a human."
"My people will help. They have to. They cannot turn their back to innocents. Please thank my daughter for her farewell songs. It warmed mine heart to know that she still cares."
Severus had the impression he would never arrive. In his mind eye, Bane was still, as if carved into stone, his vigilant gaze never leaving Firene who was facing the invisible danger.
Then Severus saw it, slowly sliding out of darkness, his body glittering under the dim light of the moon. Severus's breath caught and he swore silently. He should have known it, since the presence had been familiar.
"I helped to defeat the Heir of the Snake House, is it not fair that I should be brought to my knees by a snake?" asked softly Firene, seemingly mesmerised by the gleaming eyes of Nagini.
"Bane, you were supposed to leave Nagini under Hagrid's care!" Severus shouted desperately, not caring if he was too far for the centaur to hear him.
To his surprise, he heard an answer through Firene's ears:
"So we did, human. The snake escaped yesterday and Hagrid is still looking everywhere for it."
Finally, Severus was near the place and he landed brutally, dropping carelessly his broom on the ground, in hurry to get to Firene, even if he had to strangle Nagini with his own bare hands to prevent such a thing.
"No, son," said the soft voice of Firene, now sounding next to him. "I told thee, I have to atone for my crime."
"Thou savedst a son of Slytherin," exclaimed Severus enraged, "it is only fair that I save thee in return!"
He entered the dark little clearing only in time to see Nagini's fangs sink in Firene's white neck; the dark eyes of the unicorn were looking straight at him. A heartbeat later, Nagini had disappeared and Firene was on his knees. Severus was by his side, holding the proud head against his chest, feeling a dull pain in his heart.
"Bane…" called Firene weakly. "Come here, if thou pleasest…"
Reluctantly, the dark-haired centaur stepped forward, his arrow back into the quiver hanging to his shoulder.
"Thy hand on my horn?"
Suddenly, Severus knew what the unicorn was up to, but it was too late to stop him. He cried out in warning to Bane, but the centaur had uttered a cry on his own, now clutching his bleeding hand to his chest.
"Forgive me, my sons…" whispered Firene.
As the unicorn drew his last breath, both Severus and Bane looked at each other in distrust, suddenly aware of the overwhelming presence of the other in their head.
"Magorian will not hear it from me," said Severus, standing up.
Bane nodded and they both turned away after a last glance to the white body lying behind them. No matter the grief in their heart at that moment, their feelings were drowned by the uneasiness and resentment of being bound together.
When Severus arrived in his quarters, Hermione was awake, cradling a mug of steaming tea in her hands. She looked up at him and said sadly:
"I feel empty."
When she saw the hollowness in his eyes, she put her mug on a table and came to him.
"What happened, Severus?"
He took her in his arms and held her close.
"I'm sorry, Hermione, I'm so sorry."
In ushered tones, he told her what he had just been a witness of and then he rocked her in his arms as she cried against his chest.