Chapter Seven
His wheelchair hadn't moved from the spot next to the couch. Sami inhaled deeply, nervously, as she made her way across the shabbily carpeted floor. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness and she could make out his features in the pale light from the snow outside.
Lucas heard her approach and continued staring straight ahead, refusing to look at her. Instead, he concentrated on the large flakes of snow falling, not making a mark on the already snow-covered ground. He didn't want to look at her. He didn't want to face her at all.
She sat down on the edge of the couch, touching his arm lightly. His head swivelled around and he stared at her. Sami was hardly ever at a loss for words but this was one of the rare times when she was. She didn't want to mess things up anymore than she already had.
"Lucas, I'm sorry." she spoke finally, "I shouldn't have done that."
"You're right." he said, his eyes smoldering with anger.
"I just really wanted to kiss you and I thought that it was what you wanted too. I should have known better though. Between Austin and Brandon, I should have gotten the message by now. No man is ever going to want me in the way I want them to."
"Shut up." he snarled fiercely, "I am sick of you! Why don't you just stop it?"
Sami just looked at him, taken back by his outburst, "Stop what?" she asked.
"I know I've hurt you a lot." he began and she could see it was a struggle for him to keep calm, "And I shouldn't be surprised that you'd try and hurt me back. But you're going too far. Stop telling me I'm going to walk again, stop trying to make me believe a lie. And stop pretending that you feel the same way I do so that I'll make a fool out of myself so that you can laugh at me!"
"Oh, God!" her voice was filled with horror and shock at his accusation, "You really think that this was all a game to me? You think I'd do that to you after everything that's happened?"
"There's no other explanation." he muttered.
"Yes there is!" she argued, "Is it so hard to believe that I care about you? I want to you get better, I want you to able to walk and I want you to be happy again."
"Well, it's never going to happen." he shot back, "The doctor's have already made it very cleat that I've lost the use of my legs foreve-"
"Lucas, I love you." she blurted out. He stared at her in shock and she couldn't blame him. She didn't know where that had come from but now that she had admitted it, there was no way she could try and take it back.
"No, you don't." he shook his head, "You couldn't."
"Why can't I?" she countered, "Lucas, there have been a lot of men in my life. But you're the only one who's always been there. Something keeps pushing us into each other. I didn't always see it but besides Will, you are probably one of the only people I can't live without."
"Stop it." he said sharply, "Don't do this to yourself. You don't want me."
"Don't tell me what I do and don't want!" Sami returned defensively, "I can think for myself."
"Sami, I can't even have sex anymore. You deserve better than that. I'm never going to have anyone, especially not someone like you."
Sami slid her arm around his shoulders, "Okay, first of all, this isn't about sex. It's about who you are, not about your body. Your body isn't that great anyway." Lucas shot her a look out and she backed down, "But it certainly isn't that bad. The point is that I love you, defective equipment included."
Sami was silenced by Lucas' lips pressing against hers. His mouth pushed against hers softly at first, then harder, with more urgency. His arms snaked around her waist, pulling her off the couch and onto his lap. Their kisses become so frantic and desperate, it was as if they wanted their lips to become permanently linked together.
"God, I love you too, Sami." he whispered, nuzzling her neck affectionately. She smiled to herself, playing with the hair on the nape of his neck.
"I never tried to give you false hope about walking." she confided in him, "I believed all along that you would walk. I still do."
"It's not possible." he murmured, briefly moving his lips away from her skin, "It's never going to happen."
"Lucas, I think that anything is possible. I almost lost hope, thinking I would never find a man who loved me that I loved back. And now I have the most amazing, gorgeous man in the world." she smiled at him, "I'd do anything to see you out of that wheelchair."
"That means a lot to me." he said softly, holding her firmly against his chest. She listened to slow, even sound of his breathing.
"We should go to bed." she told him and he nodded in agreement. She followed him into his room and helped him into his bed. After he was settled underneath the blankets, Sami went around to the other side and crawled in beside him. She curled up next to him, her head resting on his chest. She remembered the last time she had fallen asleep in his arms. It was the night after she had been attacked, the night after she had that horrible dream.
She had fallen asleep with a smile on her face that night and she knew that it wouldn't be any different tonight. It was actually better because tomorrow she was going to find a way to help Lucas. He was going to walk again and soon. Now that they had both admitted their feelings, the idea of Lucas in a wheelchair for the rest of his life was almost unbearable.
After Lucas got the use of his legs back, everything in her life was going to be perfect. She imagined Will moving back in with them and the expression of extreme happiness on his face when she and Lucas told him that they were getting together and that Lucas was going to walk again. The thought of that brought an unconscious smile to her face as she slowly drifted off to sleep.