A/N- This is sort of related to the episodes about the Initiative, but I changed it to fit my story…
Jay looked from his teammate to Buffy, a speculative frown on his face. He did not like the undercurrents between them.
Buffy was about to reply heatedly when Simon jerked forward, grabbing Buffy's arm in a bruising grip to drag her outside and deal with her.
"Hey!" Jay yelped.
Buffy replied to Simon's hand on her arm by breaking his nose with a short armed jab.
"You bitch!" He yelped, holding his hand under his nose that was bleeding profusely.
Jack jumped between them, "Whoa! Let's take this to your office Jay. Janet, take a look at Irelands nose." He watched as Janet hurried over to Ireland and sat him down, tilting his head back to check it further. He looked back down at Buffy who was breathing hard, her eyes tight in anger. He jerked his head at Daniel, "Take Buffy to Jay's office. Jay?" But Buffy's headshake stopped him.
"I can't stay here if he's here." Her face was pale with high spots of color on her cheeks, her eyes stormy.
Sighing heavily Jack took her shoulders, "Listen Blondie, lets take this slow. Go to Jay's office with Daniel." He watched her face, emotions flashing across it, then she nodded jerkily, heading down the hallway, Daniel on her heels with a worried look.
Jay was flabbergasted, torn between checking on Buffy or on Simon. Jack rolled his eyes and grabbed Jay's shoulders and pointed him down the hallway. Then he walked over to Ireland, "Ok Janet?"
She nodded and gave the man an icebag for his nose, "Keep that on your nose, you don't want to get two black eyes."
"Thanks Doc." Simon muttered. Jack took him by the arm and walked him to the office. The women threw each other puzzled looks, Cassie's eyes were speculative as she looked at the doorway where they disappeared.
Jay went over to Buffy and knelt in front of her tense body, "Are you ok?" he asked softly.
Her hard eyes met his, "I'm good." She lied.
Jack waited until everyone's eyes were on him. He then looked over at Buffy, "Ok, what's going on?"
"About 6 years ago I was stupid and worked for a covert government agency called the Initiative…" she began but was interrupted.
"That's classified top-secret!" Simon ground out fiercely, pulling the ice bag down to glare at her.
Jack waved a hand, "Jay and I have been in long enough to have heard about it already Ireland. Go ahead Buffy."
Glaring at Simon, Buffy continued, "The Initiative came to Sunnydale to fight demons etc. What I didn't know was their leader was also experimenting on them, trying to create a super warrior." She took a deep sigh, still upset about what had happened. "I joined them before I knew that of course, thinking that they were the good guys when I noticed bad things happening and that, Hey! They were connected to the Initiative."
"It was all sanctioned by the President!" Simon barked.
Buffy stood, eyes flashing dangerously, "I don't care! Not all demons are bad but what Walsh was doing to them was wrong!"
"All demons are evil!"
She made a move towards Simon but Jack moved between them, "Back into your corners."
Buffy sat, "They didn't like that I had found out and wasn't happy to play their little games anymore. So they turned Adam on me."
Simon looked away for a moment, placing the icebag squarely on his swollen nose.
"Adam?" Jay prompted quietly.
"A monster that Professor Walsh made. Part demon, part soldier. Unfortunately her pet monster was just that, a monster and it killed her. Walsh's second in command sicced Adam on me in retaliation for leaving them. Before I killed Adam he killed a lot of innocent people first." Buffy's eyes were haunted by memories.
Jack exchanged a glance with Jay and Daniel then asked, "What does Ireland have to do with it?"
"His face was the last face I saw when Walsh's second in command had me kidnapped. He was going to give me to Adam to kill. After he did experiments on me first." She said bitterly.
"It was sanctioned by the President." Simon said desperately, noting his CO's darkening eyes.
Buffy stood, shaking off Daniel's hand. "I took care of them and kicked them out of town. I really doubt that the President knew everything, did he?" She looked at Jay, "I don't know who's in charge of the mess now but I heard that there was a clean sweep of their people." She looked pointedly at Simon, who glared back.
"Shut up Buffy! No one here has a need to know!" He shouted, standing up and throwing the icebag onto the carpeted floor.
Jay leaned back, "I need to know something." He said quietly.
Simon visibly pulled himself together, "Yes Sir?"
"When can you come see me so we can discuss this?"
"Monday Sir. I think I'm going to leave now Sir. Thank you for your invitation." He said stiffly.
Buffy turned her head away, her face set and white.
Jack saw Jay's face, "You and Buffy are both adults, just stay away from each other." He tried a reasonable tone but Simon brushed by him, "Sorry Colonel." And he left.
Buffy looked up to see Simon's back disappear out the door, "I'm going to wash my face." And she left the room as well. Instead of the bathroom she walked to the back door and walked onto the back porch not even putting on a jacket.
The women looked up and saw Buffy's face as she passed through the living and dining room. Sam stood but Cassie shook her head, "Let me Sam." And followed Buffy outside.
Simon stood outside and pulled out his cellphone. "Sir? It's Ireland, we have a problem."
Jay rubbed his face and stood, "Well isn't this a fine kettle of fish Ollie." He said wryly.
Jack and Daniel both chuckled quietly.
" Enough of this emotional shit. You now know that something's wrong with Ireland, but he's your problem for later. Let's go eat." Jack said cheerfully. He knew that it was going to come back and bite them in the butt, just didn't know how yet.
Jay walked into the living room and looked at Sam, "Where's Buffy?"
She looked toward the doors and Jay cursed, "She's not wearing a coat. She's going to freeze!" He started to walk towards the door but Daniel took his arm, "Give her a minute Jay." He said quietly. Jay looked at his friend for a long moment, then nodded and went to sit beside his puzzled team member on the couch.
Cassie noticed the snow was falling when she came out side. "Buffy?" she asked quietly.
Buffy took a deep breath of the icy air, turning her head slightly to look at the girl who reminded her of Dawn. "Hey Cassie."
"Are you ok?"
Buffy sighed and looked back at the bird feeder, watching the brightly colored Blue Jays squabble over the food, totally unconcerned about her presence. She shivered a little in the cold, then laughed wryly.
"Sometimes the past grabs you by throat when you least expect it."
Cassie moved up to stand beside her, "I saw Sgt. Ireland leave." Her eyes stayed on the birds.
"Too bad." Buffy said insincerely.
Cassie laughed, "He always gave me the willies." She glanced over at Buffy whose eyes were on her.
"Always trust your instincts Cassie, it will save your life." Buffy said softly. "Why is it that when I get hurt I can't forgive? Or forget?" She asked the sky rhetorically.
Cassie turned her body to face Buffy, "I'll tell you what I've learned. When you have people that will fight for you, you can get over the bad stuff that's happened to you in the past. It's what's ahead, and who's with you that matter the most."
Janet watched for a moment, her tall daughter and the shorter woman standing companionably in the icy weather. She opened the door and called, "Dinner!"
Buffy threw a smile at the Doctor and turned to Cassie.
"Thanks Cassie, you're absolutely right."
Jay was sitting beside Jeff on the couch, watching the game absently. His head snapped up when the women came in, Buffy stomping off her feet, then standing on one foot to remove her wet shoes. He could see her eyes were clearer and knew that Cassie had something to do with that. He sent Cassie a grateful smile and she grinned back.
Buffy walked over to Jay and kissed him, "I'm starved! What does a girl have to do around here to get some food?"
"I'm sorry about what happened." He whispered.
Buffy shook her head, "It's in the past. Let's eat."