Ok, no, I do not own Harry Potter or any other characters from the Harry Potter book series.
All righty then... now, first of all...to menecarkawan, who is my faithful betta, no biggy. It's okay. I can just try to recheck my chappys before I post them then when you come back, I'll send them to you again. Also, thanks a lot for telling me about letting anonymous readers review my story. Maybe now I'll get mor reviews! Yay!
Now, for Naynymic, I totally understand you! I like dialogue between the two characters too. So, after this chapter, believe me, there is going to be a lot of dialogue between Harry and Draco. I'm just posting this super short chapter to make up for taking long with the last one and to get things moving along. So this chapter doesn't have much of any dialogue, but I promise you, the next chapter has tons and tons of dialogue between Harry and Draco and they get to really know each other. Thanks for the review!
Now, for luin-lote, I noticed you were only on the 3rd chapter, so now you have a lot more to read and thanks a lot for the review and your lovely comments!
And for DeathStryke, thank you soooooo much for all your great comments! You are one of my best reviewers! I love imagery and I love to read imagery from other people's perspectives too. You are a very smart one. I love the way you plot your stories out! Thanks for the review!
As for Mazeysugah, thanks for the review! And thanks for the comment, LOL. And just so you know, I love all of your stories too! I'm reading all of them, except "The pact" But I'm reading all of your other stories! They are all so great! And I have you saved in my favorites too!
Now for Agent 0069,I've never heard of Anne Rice. Is she a good writer? Well, if you're comparing my story chapter with hers, then I'm really flattered! It's great to know that my writing is somewhat close to a professional writer's work! Thanks for continuing the story and reviewing again! Hey, ummm... what sort of books does Anne Rice write. Because I was wondering, maybe I'll buy one of her books. Do you know of any good ones that she has? Let me know, will you? Thanks!
Now for, Heat wave on ice, Thanks for the review. By the way, I LOVE the name you use. "Heat wave on ice" I wonder where you got the idea for that name....
And lastly, Scalene Tristy, OMG! Thank you sooooo much for your review. Don't worry...you weren't rambling. I LOVE long reviews! You let me know a lot! I always want Harry and Draco to be together too, and so, for those of you who are worrying a bit, Harry and Draco ARE going to be togther. In the next chapter, they are going to kiss each other! Yay! And I never really picture Crabbe and Goyle with girlfriends either, it's just that I've read loads of stories and I never see them with girlfriends so I thought 'Why not make a change." you know? And don't worry, I don't usually take too long to update so you won't have to cause any damage to me over the internet. LOL.
By the way, you said you would make Draco bitter in any of your stories, does that mean you have Harry/ Draco stories of your own? If you do, let me know and I'll go check them out. I love reading stories with bitter Draco's in them. LOL.
Also, if any of you have a story write your own stories and you want me to read it, just let me know. Okay? Just so you know, my favorite pairing is Harry/Draco, but I also like Harry/ Voldemort and other things as long as they include Harry. LOL
Okay...now I know this chapter is super short, but it's just to keep things moving along. Don't worry, the next chapter will be just as long as the previous ones. This is just to keep things moving along. Now, on with the chapter!
Chapter 4:Nothing I can't handle
I had been feeling completely miserable.
It was horrible...it was awful.
There was no chance whatsoever of me and Harry staying in a long lasting relationship.
I didn't want to live. I just wanted to die. Maybe I would. Maybe I would die of depression. Could someone actually die of depression?
I didn't know.
Well, it had been a VERY long week of me dragging my feet sorrowfully across the floor, walking to each class. So sorrowfully that I could hear people whispering about how they were worried about me and hoped I would be okay.
Even GRYFFINDORS had felt sorry for me for goodness sakes!
I had even lost the happiness of bossing the first year Hufflepuffs and and Gryffindors around. It just didn't matter anymore. Nothing matter anymore.
I had lost the fun of treating the other Gryffindors like shit in potions just because I knew I could get away with it.
So if dying of depression really did exist, it was really taking just a tad bit too long to work its Poisonous killing powers on me.
Why couldn't it all just end already?
I was so sad that I had the worst fiasco with the Weasley. I mean, it was really bad. I hadn't even stood up to him. I had just let him have his way with me.
:::Flash Back:::
I was walking with my head down, dragging my feet to Transfiguration when I bumped into someone. A certain someone with fiery red hair.
He was alone and he was really angry.
But I didn't care.
"What IS your problem you stupid, blonde ferret!? Can't you watch where you're going!? First you walk into Harry, then you walk into me!? Next you'll be walking into Hermione! I swear, if you hurt her I'll..."
It continued like that for a while, while all I did was keep my head down and let him chastise me for my wrong doing. It occurred to me that the way he was defending the mudblood was because he probably had strong feelings for her.
Strong feelings that Harry would never feel for me.
Then I had wanted to start crying.
Right then in front of the Weasel. It was so embarrassing, my eyes were already watering up, drops of salty, dirty, sorrowful water threatening to spill out onto my pale white cheeks for lack of eating.
I listened to the rest of what the Weasel was saying. " You think you're so tough because your daddy can get you everything, don't you!? Well, your daddy isn't here right now, is he!? And neither are your two cronies and- bloody hell!"
I had looked up into his face, just because I was stupid and had forgotten everything about Malfoy terms on how to never show your true feelings to anyone.
As he was chastising me he had seen me look up and saw my face, sad and just begging to be washed and lavished with a waterfall of tears. My eyes brimming to the rim of my eyelids, playing with me.
Just to see what I would do if the tears were to slip off my eyelids and onto my cheeks, down my face and onto the marble floor.
He stopped in the middle of his sentence inquiring with much shock, " Are you about to cry?"
That was it. I couldn't take it anymore!
I whirled around and strided as quickly as possible into the direction of my Head Boy personal dorm.
Just as I got to the door, a single tear rolled onto my pale cheek.
:::End Flashback:::
That had been two days ago and I was still up in my room bawling all over my pillow and just wishing for life to end.
I envied the mudblood.
Believe it or not, I envied her.
I envied her for getting the love from the Weasel that I would never get from Harry.
I looked over at the Picture I had made of me and Harry. I saw the picture Harry trying to teach my picture form to play a muggle patty-cake game. Now I know that the game he had been trying to teach my picture form was "Rockin' Robin."
I saw the picture form of Harry mouth out the words " Rockin' Robin, tweet tweet, tweedally, Rockin' Robin Tweet tweet, tweedally, all the little-" when he was interrupted my picture form messing up on the hand movements.
My picture form began to throw a tantrum of frustration: pouting his lips and and banging his fists onto his lap.
The picture form of Harry started laughing uncontrollably at this behavior, and soon enough, my picture form joined in with the laughing too.
At one point, I used to feel jealousy toward the two, but now I felt pity. They were thinking that they lived in a perfect world together, never being able to have anything wrong happen to them when all alone, in reality, Harry was already taken by Emily what's-her-name.
I sighed out one last sob before deciding to take a shower.
***************************************
It was Saturday again, and I was sitting by the lake.
All of my fellow Slytherins had told me that I had really needed a little sun.
It was a cool day...around 70 degrees with a little Autum's breeze.
I stared into the lake water and witnessed my reflection. I looked simply dreadful. I had dark circles underneath my usually perfect eyes, and my gray eyes had lost their shine.
They were dull and lifeless.
I heaved up a sigh and made a decision.
I didn't want the world, and in these conditions that I had been in, the world didn't want me either. So, for once, I was going to do the world a favor.
No... I was not going to do volunteer work, cleaning up the streets,(as you common muggle may suspect) I was not going to do something THAT good for the world.
And I would never clean anything..at least, not something like the streets.
I was going to do something different. Maybe better in a way. But then again, maybe no one would even notice if I were... gone.
~ ~ ~ That night I made sure to put very, very strong locking spells on my door.
Just in case anyone were to walk in on me and try to stop...not that anyone cared enough about me to do so... but just for safety precautions, or, should I say "Un-safety precautions. ( I know it's not funny, but I don't think you would be a very good comedian either if you were about to commit suicide)
I sat down on my bed and took a knife out.
I pressed it onto my skin, just softly, to get a feel of it and guess how much it would hurt.
It had hurt pretty badly, but nothing I couldn't handle...I was a Malfoy and- wait a just a minute.
That was exactly right!
I WAS a Malfoy.
And there was NOTHING I couldn't handle. (Well, except my love for Harry, but that doesn't count! I mean, honestly, who COULD resist someone as adorable as Harry?)
I could handle this.
I could handle life!
I could even handle having to deal with rejection from Harry.
With that, I quickly muttered out a healing spell and washed off some of the blood that had still remained on my arm, staining it with impurity, impurity of being bled for a weak reason.
I turned over, switched off the lamp, and rested my head on my pillow, now carrying my Malfoy smirk again, with only one thing on my mind...There is nothing I can't handle.
... Nothing I can't handle.
Okay, well, turns out this chapter wasn't too short, but it's still shorter than the usual chapters, but hey, what can you expect? I'm trying to write this as quickly as possible and t's only been 2 days I had to write this, so please bare with me.
The next chapter will obviously take a bit longer to update since it is going to be longer than this one and I think it is one of the most important chapters. I want to make sure that it's perfect. I'm going to have to put a lot of details and emotion and dialogue into the next chapter, so wish me luck!
Please, R&R. Do both R's. Read AND review. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, and just remember, next chapter will have A LOT more action between Harry and Draco.
So, stick around for the next chapter. : )
xoxo Spideria xoxo