Author's Notes: Yes, well…it's coming along. Piece by piece. And on a side note, there's nothing wrong with an anonymous review, so long as you're not a gutless flamer. After all, my sister and all them don't know I write slash fics. Not because I'm ashamed, but because they have to be immature about it and I just don't want to deal with their crap. I have a right. So, in short, I empathize. ^^ And thank you, many people wouldn't even bother to review in similar situations..
And one more thing, this fic will probably be changing to an R for violence and sex. Just Fa-rendly warning. On with the show. Again…
…
Tom leaned over the side, looking down beyond the edge of the Nautilus into the calm blue waters surrounding its hull. The wind played roughly through his hair, but not quite harsh enough to shake him of his thoughts. His normally placid face was wrought with a confusing tangle of emotions, causing him to droop his head down between his shoulders a little more with each passing moment. His hope was that no one would find him up here, he had the feeling that he would chew anyone out about now, and that was the last thing he wanted. He had already been in one argument today. But that was admittedly not his fault. To be honest, he wasn't entirely sure how the fight had come about at all…
When he had awakened this morning, rather late, he remembered deciding not to come in for a late breakfast and bother anyone. After getting cleaned up and dressed, not before tripping over various items of clothing that had been flung haphazardly to the floor the night before, he found himself again sitting at his desk. If ever he had something to write, surely it was now. And in fact he knew exactly what he wanted to say…but without the slightest inkling as to how to say it. So again he sat and stared and tried desperately to focus on those few perfect words that evaded him and his pen, but much like the last night, he was at a loss for those few words. And predictably, much like that same night, despite how hard he tried to concentrate, his thoughts easily drifted away from him.
As much as he hated to admit it, Skinner had done a damn good job of loosening his nerves. Maybe a little too good. He almost didn't care about ever writing anything down, or if he should ever come out of this room or if he should ever get down off his high at all. He leaned back in his chair, staring at the paper and thinking rather arbitrary thoughts until he decided that perhaps he should go out before someone came in looking for him. As he walked, he had come across Captain Nemo, who muttered a polite hello before hurrying off in the other direction with some form of papers in his hands, which he appeared to be studying vehemently. He also noticed a small statue tucked under his arm, which looked to be missing a piece. It was there that he met up with Ms. Harker and Dr. Jekyll. That was where the mayhem began…
"Good afternoon, Mr. Sawyer…" Ms. Harker eyed him as he waltzed in. "I must say, you look rather refreshed this morning."
"Thank you, Ms. Harker." He said with a proud smile, nodding to Jekyll. "Guess that means I look how I feel."
Ms. Harker smirked, patting his cheek affectionately as she walked on by and out the door. His gaze curiously followed her as she did so.
Jekyll was looking upon him stonily, standing near the table. Sawyer had noticed this as he poured himself a glass of water, and so as to avoid something awkward, he spoke. "How's it hangin', Doctor?" he queried amiably, guzzling it down.
"Just fine." He stated coldly, watching his every move with a strange glower.
"Mmhm…" Tom looked away, drinking another glass.
Jekyll had a disturbing air about him, mumbling idly under his breath and flashing his attention every now and then to the mirror that hung on the wall.
After a long while of agonizing silence, he cleared his throat. "Is somethin' wrong?"
"I'm not sure…" he grumbled. "Do you think something is wrong?"
"I…" Tom tapped his fingers on the side of the glass. "Just thought you seemed a little off today, that's all."
"And just how would you know what is 'off' for me?" Jekyll snapped. "Do you think you really know me that well, Sawyer?"
"Hey, sorry if I caught you in a bad mood…" Tom backed off, setting down his glass.
"And just what makes you think that I am the one who has a problem?" he said back.
He couldn't help but notice how un-Jekyll he was acting all of a sudden. "Well…I ain't got no complaints. Captain Nemo seemed fine to me and Ms. Harker didn't look any worse off. That pretty much just leaves yo-"
"Mina…" Jekyll growled, cutting him off. "Just what would you know about her?" he advanced a step, a dangerous wildness in his eyes.
"…" Tom hesitated, knitting his brow in confusion. "Why're you actin' like this? What did-"
"I've seen the way you look at her!" he shouted, startling him. "The way you shamelessly flirt with her!"
"Beggin' your pardon?" he glanced over his shoulder, seeing that no one was witnessing this conversation but the two of them.
"I know what you want." Jekyll rubbed his hand over his shoulder while trying to avoid the mirror. "It's obvious that you want her! You can't deny that!"
Tom curled a lip at the accusation, offended. "What's with the allegations?"
"Don't lie to me!" he demanded. "You've wanted her…you've thought about having her!"
"You're crazy." Tom said, raising his voice.
"So then you dare contradict the notion? Are you so sure that I didn't see how you acted towards her those first few days? Following her around like some lovesick little pup…"
"…Maybe in the beginning…In the beginning I might've had my eye on 'er, but I don't feel that way anymore." he insisted with a nod.
"You're lying!" Jekyll scowled, digging his fingers down into his shoulder as his arm seemed to twitch involuntarily. "I saw it just now! Just now the way you were with her!"
"Me?" Tom gaped. "Me? She touched me!"
"Oh yes, yes, you'd like that, wouldn't you? You'd love it if she would succumb to your perverse little persuasions! But that won't happen! You're a fool for trying to trick her!"
"You're not serious-"
"Do you have any idea how easily she could dispose of you?" he thrust his hand out in front of him as though to somehow demonstrate. "How easily any one of us could get rid of you if we so wished? What are you out of the ordinary but a pathetic little whelp who can't take care of himself?"
Tom's jaw tightened, anger rising within him from this unjustified abuse. "Look here, Jekyll, I don't know what's got your balls in a bear trap, but I think it's about time you shut the hell up and back the hell off!"
"Stop your whining!" he ordered. "You useless peck! Taking up space…infecting the rest of the crew like a parasite! Damn you!"
Tom's eyes were wide, unbelieving of this sudden transformation. He was rambling, he wasn't making sense.
"What good are you? What good?" he repeated, rage flaring in his face.
"What are you tryin' t'tell me?" he narrowed his eyes, biting down on his lip.
Jekyll smiled an eerie and rather insane smile. "Stupid child…" he said, looking towards the mirror spontaneously as though something indescribably enthralling was taking place inside of it. "You should be dead by now!" he bellowed in a fit of anger, kicking the leg of the table and causing it to shake. "If you hadn't been so busy hiding behind Skinner and Quartermain, you would be! You coward…bloody coward!"
Tom's chest burned as he took a step back, almost as if he had been hit. "What did you say…?"
"Oh yes, you know what I mean…" he jeered. "You can't take care of yourself. You're a burden to us all! You traded Quartermain's life for your own! You all but buried him…stabbed him in the back!"
Tom was shaking now, a flood of fury gushing through his every vein. "I didn't…" he defended, his voice faltering.
"You're a gutless coward…" he snapped again.
"You bastard, what the hell do you know about it? You weren't there, you weren't…weren't…" he shook his head, trying to think of some way to deny the fact that if it weren't for him, Allan Quartermain would probably be alive. "I would've given my life for him, damn it!"
"Then why didn't you? Why?" he raged.
"There…there was a knife at my throat…I couldn't…"
"No heroics, isn't that right, Sawyer? Do you think Quartermain's happy about being six feet underneath the hell worthy heat of Africa's dirt? Do you think Skinner likes those scars of his? Damned if you'll risk your skin for anyone else!"
"No!" he growled, hearing his cry echo throughout the hall.
"So useless…you meek little gutter rat…"
"What about you?" Tom yelled, throwing his chest out defensively. "You can't control Hyde anymore, can you? You think I'm the useless one? You're bein' dragged along, just a monkey on Hyde's back, ain't that right? Well I've got news for you, it was him we needed, not you!"
"You little…" Jekyll glared at him with a viscously menacing abhorrence. "I could pound you into nothing…"
"No, Hyde could pound me into nothin'! Show me what you got, then see if you got the gall t'call me a coward!" Tom spurned.
"Shut up!" he screamed, gripping at his head. "Both of us will kill you…both of us!"
Tom could feel his nails driving mercilessly into his palm. "You think you have it in ya, you son of a bitch?" he dared.
"Don't push me!" Jeykll hissed, a dangerous look in his eyes that said 'I will' as he drove his fist into the table.
"Yeah, go to hell!" he spat venomously. "You and your half-wit gorilla!"
"Whoa, whoa, take it easy, Sawyer…" came a familiar voice from behind him. He barely registered the hand on his shoulder as he stared hatefully at the man across from him. This was ridiculous. He wasn't going to stand here and be degraded any longer. He'd just come down to get something to drink, not to be patronized. He grunted and threw the hand off his shoulder, pushing past Skinner and marching off out of the room. Anywhere was better than here at the moment.
So far he'd been up here for nearly an hour, sorting out the things that were said to him and how much truth they held. He didn't know what kind of danger Quartermain was in, how could he have known? He was kidnapped at knife point for god's sake. Kidnapped…yeah. Maybe he was a damn kid. He'd come all the way from America into this league to make something for himself, to escape his idiotic boyhood antics. Maybe he hadn't gotten away from anything. He was labeled as the incompetent troublemaker, just like always.
He still should've done something. Given the guy an elbow or tried somehow to warn Quartermain. Instead he stood there, helpless and stupefied. He did nothing. He was responsible for the death of a man who had been nothing if not fatherly to him since the moment they met. He rubbed the back of his neck harshly, looking down at the still waters. Was he so self-absorbed? Was he so irresponsible? Was he such an encumbrance to the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen that it had created a barrier of animosity between himself and the other members? Could the others really feel that way about him? And he hadn't seen it until now? It seemed so. He couldn't even look at them right now. Or himself, for that matter. To hell with his writings. What is it that he could document that would not turn out as a confession? That his negligence had killed a man…
He couldn't take this anymore. He would have to tell Nemo that he would not be accompanying the rest of the crew to their next escapade. He'd only end up getting someone else killed or maimed. But he would perhaps to that later…as vibrant and alive as he had felt that morning, every bit of it had been completely drained from him now. He went back below deck, heading to his room to go back to sleep. Maybe there would be peace in that, maybe he wouldn't feel so bad if he were unconscious to this disaster around him.