Author's Note: Ha ha ha. Ha ha. Sorry. I laugh. Blarg, this chapter kind of irritates me. It could have been better, had it a better author. *Holds up a finger* But there is yet room to improve! And yes, this chapter is rated R. Why? Well, find out.
…
The day had been, though it seemed a great understatement, uneventful. Skinner lay on his bed, one hand covering his face and the other resting behind his head as he griped mentally about the dullness of the morning. Captain Nemo had been busy, and had not attented breakfast or lunch, which was not unusual. Dr. Jekyll had also mysteriously vanished. Mina Harker was at a loss for what to do, confused as to why all of the league members were suddenly induced into such a reclusive state. She had gone to see Mr. Jekyll, who had painfully declined her company, and Tom had not answered the knock at his door. Skinner himself had only momentarily stopped by the main dining hall to see if anyone was up and about, which had been where he ran into the ship's resident vampiress.
"Mr. Skinner." She had said, seemingly disappointed that it had been him she encountered.
"That'd be me." He answered dryly, lost in a haze of personal thoughts.
"I must say that you're about the only living soul I've seen this morning. Has the ship gone and died without my knowing?" she reclined back in her chair at the table, waiting for what she was sure would be a sarcastic jab from him.
"Maybe." Was all he chose to say, still keeping his qualms to himself.
Furrowing her brow slightly, she sat up straight and cocked her head. "Well now I do know that something is wrong. Skinner, not making a joke? Hm."
"Maybe I just ain't in a jokin' mood." He remarked coldly, admittedly rather uncharateristic.
Mina shrugged, at a loss for what could possibly be wrong with the entire league that would make them behave as such. "Not even Jekyll would speak with me today. And usually he's so charming. Agent Sawyer wouldn't even come out from his bedroom, so I know there must be something I'm missing."
"Did you ever think that maybe he just has his own troubles?" Skinner had scowled. "Where in the contract did it ever say we had to share all our damn problems?" Funny he should talk…any problem he ever had could be solved with a drink. And if it couldn't, it could be solved by a couple of them. But not this one.
"Well I'm sorry." She quipped crossly. "I wasn't aware that my concern was such a nuisance."
Skinner had already tuned her out. Coming out here only made him realize that, as much as they tortured him, he didn't want to be disturbed from his agonizing thoughts. He thought he may have heard her calling out to him in confusion as he walked back to his room, but he wasn't sure. And now, here he was again. He's hurting. Why won't you just go and talk to him? Part of him reasoned. What if he's hurting because of me? I saw the way he looked at me last night. I must've…set him off…
He groaned for perhaps the thousandth time and knocked his head against the headboard. By all means, he most likely should have gone to see him. But there was a strange guilt in the back of his mind that prevented him from doing so. He had spent hours just trying to make out the look on Tom's face as he had left the room. Was it shame? Was it pain? 'I can't do this', those had been his words. Couldn't do what? The act altogether or just with Skinner? Or…was it something else? But what else? He had never been more scattered in his life.
What if Tom resented him? That was his biggest fear. He swallowed hard as he thought about the words that he had exchanged that day. 'Just what were you thinkin' last night, huh? I was an easy target? Too young and naïve to say no? Well you got what you wanted…' That couldn't have actually been the case…Yes, he had desired Tom. And that night, he wanted to take the kid's mind off of all the shit that he'd had to face as of late. …But did that make it right? Well surely Tom could've protested if he had wanted to. Couldn't he?
Tom had been in a vulnerable position. He was confused. He was mourning. He was young. And when he thought about it, there were small instances when he had protested. But Skinner had been too busy with his own motives to even see it. He'd had his hand over the kid's mouth, how would he have even known? Could that look last night have been betrayal? Tom just realizing that he had been…taken advantage of? Oh God…please don't tell me I forced him…he thought dejectedly. Don't tell me I was selfish enough to do something like that to him. That I didn't see what kind of state he was in. How the hell could he not feel used? I practically attacked him…fucked him and then left him…
He craned his head back, trying not to think of the pain he had seen in Tom's eyes. What had he done? He had screwed up the kid's life even more, that's what. Just like he'd done in the good old days…the days when women could still see his face and blushed when they saw him wink. Where other men of his like would perk with interest when he walked into a room. The days when he took them one by one like shots of liquor and never looked back to see them crushed when he shrugged them off as he would a cold hand on his shoulder. But for Christ's sake, he really cared about that little blond firecracker. That fact made it much worse. It made him feel sick.
"Hey…" came a soft voice from his doorway. Skinner peered out from his hand to see Tom leaning against the doorframe with a sheepish, wide-eyed look. His strong arms were crossed tightly across his chest as he let out a breath.
"Uh…Hey…" he said lamely, cursing himself as he sat up.
There was a long period of strange silence as they both turned away from eachother. Tom took in a trembling breath, figuring that he'd better say something before the conversation went bad on him.
"Skinner…" he started, closing his eyes and leaning his head down. "Look, about last night…"
"Tom, I didn't meant to push you into it…" satisfied with the ice having been broken, he helplessly held up his hands as if they held his explanation.
"No, it's okay…" he shook his head. "I was just…thinking about last night and—well I'm really…sorry…"
Skinner looked like he was about to say something, but he was cut off.
"I-I guess what I'm trying to say is that I…probably…" he offered a stressed sigh and continued, rubbing the back of his neck. "Skinner, did you really mean it when you said-"
"I wouldn'ta said it if I didn't mean it." He answered immediately, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. "I'm not usually the mushy type, in case you couldn't tell."
"Hm…" he half-smiled and shifted the weight onto his other foot.
"…Why did you leave?" Skinner said, unable to hold back that question that had been haunting him any longer.
Tom snorted and kept his jesting smirk. "Gee, because I like to keep you in suspense…" he wouldn't bring his gaze to meet the man across from him, however.
"Jesus, Tom, out of all the crazy things…" he responded shortly. "I thought that you were having a nervous breakdown."
"Well I…well you're sort of…not far off. I'm sorry, I shouldn't've walked out." He apologized. "It's my fault…"
"What do you mean?"
Pausing for a while as though preparing himself for a great pain, he eventually came to an answer. "Don't take this the wrong way…okay?" he breathed nervously. "I…I just thought that you…didn't mean the things you said." He had a guilty expression on his face that he tried to mask by looking away. "It's an awful thing t'think, but I thought that you were just…"
"You did think I was using you…" he shut his eyes and bowed his head.
Tom flinched, still looking down. "I'm sorry…but…for a minute, I did. It wasn't a rational thought, okay? It was a spur a'the minute thing. I panicked, I-I didn't really mean to…ah, fuck." He heaved another gruff sigh and shook his head, unable to come up with the right words. "I was…looking for any reason to put myself down, deny myself what I could. Maybe I could protect myself if I shut the world out…you know…stupid stuff. I don't…know if I'm making sense here…What I mean is…uh…" He started, hoping his strained words could possibly convey an apology. "I mean I was an idiot. You…you risked your life for me. And I was dumb enough to think you didn't care. I was too caught up in myself. Kickin' myself in the behind and feelin' sorry for myself. And…I'm sorry."
"…What did you mean by, 'I can't do this'?" he asked cautiously, still confused by this erratic behavior.
"That I…couldn't…" he ran a hand over his face tiredly. "Let myself…"
"…Let yourself…?" Skinner anxiously kneaded his fingers into the bed sheets. "What?"
"You know." He growled, more at himself. "Let myself…go. I wasn't about to let someone do me another favor. Lot's of people have done favors for me…look where they're at now."
"You think I was doin' it as a favor?" he gawked at Tom with a concealed offendedness.
"No-I don't know…" he looked up sincerely, his eyes dark with the same sort of shame Skinner had seen in them before. "I wasn't gonna let someone try and save me again…. I already told you: I'm an idiot."
Skinner let out a long breath of relief, laughing and shaking his head. "It's okay, mate…Just get over here already…"
Tom obeyed instantaneously, stepping in and shutting the door behind him before he shoved Skinner down onto the bed and stradled him. Shocked, the pinned man stammered for a minute and blinked a few times. "Whoa-ho, hey, a little overly enthusiastic to make-up, huh?"
"Yeah…" he gripped Skinner's hand and pulled off the glove roughly, reaching for the other.
"Hey, come on, serious-" he gently worked his hand out of Tom's grasp. "Seriously, we don't have to do this now... You don't gotta prove anything t'me."
"That don't sound like the Skinner I know. Just fuck me, damn it, I'm horny as hell." He muttered, leaning down and finding his partner's lips.
Ignoring the fact he found it ridiculous --being so extremely aroused by such a simple statement, that is--, Skinner spread his legs out and let Tom's form fall between them. "Well yes sir…" he joked bewteen hard kisses, gracefully removing Tom's belt in a single flick of the wrist. Refusing to let go of his usually dominent hold, however, Skinner tackled Tom onto his back and traded positions.
"Hey." The blond snapped with a childish pout as he struggled beneath him. "Knock it off."
"I don't think so." He playfully pinned him by the shoulders and buried his face into the crook of Tom's neck, leaving a trail of kisses and gentle nibbling on the sensitave skin. He could feel the intensity of Tom's erection as he ground his hips against his own, and the idea made his own pants seem much too close for comfort. "Shit, you weren't kiddin'…" he purred in a tone weighted down with lust as he let his fingers travel down and pull at the edges of his lover's loosened pants.
Tom carelessly emmited a low-throated moan, bending his knees slightly as Skinner's curious hand grazed the length of his newly exposed organ. He impatiently hooked three fingers into the rim of Skinner's pants in preperation for reciprocation, his eyes begging to be relieved of the unbearable tension in his body. "Thought I taught you some patience last time…" Skinner scolded, contirdicting himself as he took Tom's hand and pushed it further down into his pants.
Perspiration began to grow on Skinner's brow as he felt the boy's hand gently clutch and slowly pump back and forth, apparently just as eager to give out a quick release as he was to receive one. It took every ounce of willpower he had not to let him finish him off, and he eventually stilled Tom's warm hand and pulled it away. Tom at last surrendered and let Skinner do as he saw fit, relaxing back on the bed and pretending that he couldn't feel his hardened member pressing up against his stomach. "That's more like it." Skinner said with a smirk, smothering him in another series of chaste kisses.
Tom tried to keep up, but Skinner had a definate upper hand when it came to experience and efficiency. He threaded his fingers through Tom's light hair and stroked the lines of his chest and throat with the other hand, expertly drawing out fevered gasps and sighs as he did so. He thrust himself against the young man beneath him in a slow and rythmic fashion, each touch and caress a subconscious atonement for any way he thought he may have wronged him before. Every miscontrued feeling, every sarcastic word that came off a little too harsh, every wrong thing he'd said at the right time and every right thing he'd said at the wrong. He reveled in the fact that none of it mattered now, not while he still had him in his arms, not while Tom still possessed that need for his pleasing touches.
Where their last session had been relatively silent, the current one rang out loud enough to alert anyone about the halls or in the adjacent rooms exactly what they were doing and just how hard they were doing it. Tom lost himself in the euphoria of Skinner's body around him, penatrating through him and holding him tenderly in the most intimate of embraces, murmuring clips and phrases he couldn't decipher against his burning skin. Skinner was equally entranced, breathing kisses against his chin and jawline as his mouth fell open and his head leaned back. Could he really want it like this? The way I do…? Skinner thought. One look into those hazy and misted eyes and it was obvious. Clearly he did.
"Nng…" Tom whimpered as he clenched his eyes shut, feeling the sweet beginning of his climax growing within him. It was a pleasure so close to pain that it made his eyes water and his body shake, letting a cry slip from him that was comparable only to perhaps severe agony. Skinner hushed him with another calming kiss, not only to keep Tom from screaming, but to keep himself from doing the same when he at last felt the waves of his own release tearing down upon him. A tremor wracked his body as he bowed his head back into Tom's shoulder, allowing him to continue his heavy cries.
It was some time before Skinner opened his eyes and was able to find his thoughts again, the ripples of enormous shock still flowing through his veins. He watched Tom's chest fall deeply and rise rather weakly, hypnotized by the drops of sweat that trickled down the bridge of his nose and throat. "…Hm…" he said with a smile, running a hand through Tom's moistened hair.
Tom reached up to touch the hand that was now brushing against the side of his face. He then sighed and shifted his position. His eyes remained half-closed and blurry as his mind swam in a river of thoughtless ambiguity. He lay quiet and serene for the longest while, staring up into nowhere and swallowing the gasps of air that rolled in and out of his lungs unconsciously. It could have been hours and it could have been more, not that it would have made a difference, before his world slowly drifted back to him. His sense of reality and self was returning as he grazed his hand against another that was now resting on his cheek and he remembered his circumstances. Languidly shifting his shoulders, he cleared his throat slightly and opened his mouth. "…You…want me to go?" he shrugged in a husky whisper.
Skinner looked down and swallowed, trying not to let that statement hurt as much as it did. "No." he answered smoothly, sliding to the young man's side and encircling his arms around his waist and chest from behind. "Not particularly…"
"Mm…" Tom slurred in a mellow tone, still on an oblivious high that was now enstilled by the arms trapping him tightly close to the man that was absently kissing his shoulder.
"You're welcome here anytime…" he added affectionately. But whether he meant in his room, in his bed, or in his arms was left to be guessed.