Author: Hendiadys (hendiadys146@yahoo.com)
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: We don't own anything except a crappy computer and a weird fantasy
Characters: Dawn, Spike
Spoilers: For all seasons; the story starts right at the end of Chosen
Summary: It's high time for Dawn to make her own decisions. But after escaping her familiar environment, she realizes that she has yet to find her identity. Living in an illusory Utopia, she makes new friends and unexpectedly meets an old one.
Feedback: Always appreciated!
Special thanks: To our beta Hazmat
Chapter 4
He wandered lonely through the forest, pondering the words of the oracle for the umpteenth time since he has had been sent here. Where he actually was, he did not know.
But the one thing Spike was sure of was that he wasn't in Sunnydale anymore. The two siblings hadn't told him exactly why he was there and what he was supposed to do.
Their words echoed in his head again, and Spike couldn't block them out.
You are given another life, demon, for you have sacrificed yourself to save the whole world and you will be greatly rewarded as was foretold.
He remembered himself say, in a shocked and bewildered voice, And what would that bloody be? He glared at their strange, colourful, expressionless faces. He was genuinely grateful that they had mended all his injuries, but he resented their useless answers, always containing riddles.
A life you have once lead, demon, a life you have once given away to become what you have been for more than hundred years and what you are now. A life where you will finally find your counterpart. This we will alter.
The last thing he had seen was the brother, reaching out his hand. Then a flash of white light had hit him and Spike had fallen into unconsciousness to wake up in the place he was at right now.
Well, they had been right. Something had really been altered, he thought, coming back to reality and looking into the sun, whose weak light immersed everything around him into a beautiful gold. His whole body felt different. It was exhausting just to walk through the forest and he was aware of the weird rumbling in his stomach. Hunger.
Great. No animals or people (not that he would) here to bite, but- hang on a sec, I don't have to! One little side effect of being human again! Spike didn't know whether to be glad that he was not a vampire anymore or not. Of course, he hadn't planned to use Angel's talisman to wipe away all the nasties- including him- from the Hellmouth, but at that moment, it had felt the right thing to do, even the only thing to do to save the potentials, Giles, the whelp Xander, Dawn, and…Buffy. Spikes stomach twisted even more at the thought of her. He idly wondered if he would ever see her again.
Not if I don't find out where I am, he brooded.
He had been walking for hours now and he made up his mind to take a break. Sitting on a huge flat stone, he stretched out his jaded legs and tried to think about nothing at all.
But as soon as he had closed his eyes, images of Buffy and the other Scoobies were printed against his eyelids and immense grief flooded him, not letting him rest.
Defeated, he stood up again, and marched on in search of food to fill his empty stomach and distract himself from these endless and pointless thoughts.
Was this his generous reward? To live again, but to be tantalized by his memories?
~*~
Meanwhile, Dawn would have preferred being tantalized by memories to the state she felt trapped in. This feeling of blankness, of non-identity, was more than she thought she could handle. The tiny flicker of a memory she had experienced earlier was only a small comfort. She was sure Joan was not her real name, but somehow it had seemed the right choice to take it.
But in spite of her troubled thoughts, she tried hard to uphold the façade of a – relatively- normal and cheerful girl, for Ken' sake. He was in a very good mood, showing her the small town and explaining some of its history. Dawn was genuinely fascinated by the idea that different kinds of demons and humans could manage to live in a community quite peacefully.
"So, Joan," Ken began hesitantly when they had almost finished their little tour, "why don't you tell me how you know what demons are?"
That thought hadn't occurred to Dawn yet. When she pondered it now, it seemed that a knowledge that was deeply embedded in her subconscious – too deeply to be explored yet – had forced her to vocalize her apprehension when she had seen a demon earlier. It had felt like an instinct that told her: nasty and inhuman looking creature equals demon, and demon equals dangerous.
She was aware that her answer would be far from satisfying for her companion. She had to reply, anyway.
"Well, I can't really explain it," she told him, her voice insecure. "I just knew it."
Ken hadn't expected her to know. But there were just so many things he didn't get, so many things he hadn't even asked Joan yet. I have to give her time, he thought, she just went through quite an ordeal and is still recuperating from all of it.
But Dawn didn't seem to agree. Now that the conversation had moved from the idle facts about Pacantia to the more interesting and relevant facts of her appearing here out of nowhere, she discovered that she had some questions, too.
"You said earlier that Pacantia is unique in its history – does that mean that it's the only town where people live in such a … ahem… interesting constellation?"
Oh dear, Ken sighed inwardly. Maybe she has recuperated already. "That's right," he replied cautiously.
Dawn seemed to be thinking about this new fact thoroughly, her face contorting with the effort. "Hm. So do people outside this town know about the existence of demons?" She whispered the word 'demon' to prevent Ken from giving her a lecture about morals again. Her companion noticed this and looked pleased.
The nature of her question didn't really please him, though. He hummed and hawed, but finally answered: "No, they don't…"
"Ok. Let me get this straight. Other people don't even know that there are creatures dwelling on earth that are clearly classified as non-human. Still, there's Pacantia with its 20 different kinds of demons, undisturbed from the rest of the world. So, either the other people are all very much in denial or I'm still suffering a jetlag from wherever it was I came from and I JUST DON'T GET IT!" Dawn yelled, her hands balled into fists. She was furious and Ken' uncooperative answers didn't help.
He tried to soothe her, without much success. Frankly, he was just a little bit afraid of her temper. Nevertheless he put his hands on her shoulders in a calming manner.
"Alright, Joan, please don't get mad at me. I just thought I'd wait a while before I tell you everything. You seemed so fragile at the beginning…"
That had been the wrong thing to say. "Listen, buddy, I don't know who I am, but I'm quite sure that I am not fragile. Please," she added pleadingly, "just tell me what the heck is going on here. I don't think I can figure out what happened to me if I don't even know the facts."
Finally, he gave in. He lead Dawn into an almost deserted café. In the far corner of the room, she saw a pair of small demons – they reminded Dawn of Gremlins – talking animatedly and drinking something that looked like ordinary coffee. They hadn't even noticed the newcomers.
Ken motioned her to sit down and took the seat opposite of her. Then he began to explain.
~*~
It was almost dark now and Spike knew that he had to find a place to rest. Otherwise he would have to spend the night freezing and shivering, reacting more sensitive to coldness now. One more damn side- effect of my current state, he complained inwardly.
Suddenly he heard the rustling of leaves and footsteps of several creatures he couldn't quite define, when he strained his eyes to see them, and hid out of instinct behind some bushes, whose thorns stung him at some very unpleasant places on his body. "Ow, bloody hell!" he cursed and regretted instantly what he had just said.
The creatures stopped abruptly and then they were beginning to move into his general direction.
Spike held his breath.
He was relieved, though, that they obviously carried no weapons, but the tall demon with all his horns and scales that covered his entire body standing on the left, looked kind of mean. It wouldn't need any weapons if it was willing to rip him apart. Spike shuddered at that image. There were two men as well, next to a second demon that he recognized without much effort as a Vrokut-demon. Not very belligerent, but he didn't want to find out what would happen if he teased it too long.
They were standing right in front of the bushes now, glancing down at the crouching form that was Spike. Slowly and very cautiously he got up. Although this small group looked rather curious – in case a demon can look curious - than dangerous, he felt something he hadn't felt for a very long time.
Fear.
He didn't dare move. What were humans and demons doing together at that time anyway?
"Smells human," the scaly demon said matter-of-factly. The other two men nodded.
Then one of them asked, not unfriendly, "Who are you? And why are you hiding behind the bushes?" Spike glared at him as if he'd lost his mind. Well, you know the deal. Being human again, not knowing where I am or why I'm here, trying to find my counterpart, whatever that means, and of course I have nothing better to do than wander carelessly through this lovely forest with its bushes and its bloody thorns and thinking about my grandmother's impeccable blueberry cake. No thought about being killed, not at any rate, he wanted to say, but thought better of it. Maybe these folks didn't know sarcasm. Slowly his tension went away, but he didn't really know what to say, either.
"Er… , my name is William and I…I didn't know what your intentions were, so I just hid. I'm sorry if I somehow violated your customs, but…" he stuttered. "I better shut my mouth."
The others looked quizzically at each other. "I think we should take him to Pacantia, that's the nearest town here. Perhaps he needs medical aid!" one man said.
"Please, follow us!" Despite himself, Spike complied.
When he tried to stand up, the Vrokut reached down as if to help him. Startled, Spike winced, but took the hand the demon offered him. The Vrokut noticed Spike's apprehension and smiled encouragingly, showing a row of pointed teeth.
"There, there," he said soothingly, "no need to be afraid. If I had wanted to do you harm, you'd be dead by now, I assure you."
That was not very reassuring, Spike thought and tried hard to look relaxed. Get a grip, mate. He marvelled at the fact that a few hours ago, he had been a demon himself and he would have torn everybody to pieces who dared speak to him as if he were a little child. But under the new conditions life had confronted him with it was surely better to be reasonable and to think before he acted, not the other way round.
Nevertheless, he let go of the demon's hand, which was covered with snake-like skin, as soon as he was up. The others looked at him expectantly and he felt compelled to say something.
"Well, alright, let's go then. You said you wanted to go to a town nearby, I think I'll just accompany you."
So they started walking. Especially the two men kept casting curious looks at Spike. Finally, one of them, a bald man with a slightly wrinkled face, addressed him, "So, what have you been doing here, William? It's rare to find humans alone in the wilderness. Where are you from? Have you ever heard of Pacantia?"
Spike was rather irritated by the man's questioning. He's got some nerves, he thought, he isn't the one who was lost in this jungle. A more polite person would have let me ask my questions first. Then he added mentally: Wait a moment, since when do I worry about politeness? There's something seriously wrong with me.
But the man had already caught the annoyed expression on Spike's face and looked apologetic and also a little embarrassed. "Oh dear, where are my manners? I'm sorry … My name is Archie and the other man is my younger brother Kevin. This is Sammy," he said, pointing at the Vrokut. "And our big friend here is Richard." That turned out to be the scaly demon's name.
"Nice to meet you all," Spike said, as he didn't know what else to say. The other three companions smiled and nodded slightly.
"I'm sure there are many things you want to ask, William. But what do you say if we just postpone this whole questioning until later? You look starved and weary. As soon as you've eaten and rested, you will learn everything that you wish to know. And I hope you'll tell us your story, too. Alright?" Archie asked, this time very politely.
"Yeah. Thanks," Spike replied gratefully. His stomach was rumbling louder than ever and tried not to think of his beloved spicy Buffalo wings. Briefly, his favourite meal – sharing number one with the flowery onions, of course – reminded him of a certain blond girl sitting with him at a table at the Bronze while he was eating said wings. But he managed to push this picture along with all the other memories of his unlife in Sunnydale to the back of his mind. He knew he couldn't escape his past and although there weren't only good memories attached to it, a part of him didn't want to escape it. However, this was not the time to get nostalgic.
They walked the rest of the way to Pacantia in companionable silence.
Tbc