(It's around lunchtime. Lorelai and Rory are at their kitchen table,
sipping homemade coffee.)
Lo: So, let me get this straight. the bossy red haired girl, who's name you can't remember told the weird girl to tell Paris to tell you that she likes your shirt.
Ro: Yes. And then, I told Paris to tell the weird girl to tell the bossy red haired girl "Thanks." And now I'm still waiting for her reply and have been referring to her a Blah ever since.
Lo: Your Yale life is fascinating.
Ro: Fascinating or incredibly boring.
Lo: I'm settling on somewhere in-between.
Ro: Good idea, neutral triumphs over all. So, how's Star's Hollow without me?
Lo: Well, the library's sleeping soundly. Also, there is a very suspicious looking Asian girl, who keeps dropping off rectangular shaped parcels.
Ro: Hmmm.I wonder who that could be.
Lo: (Smiles.) They're up in your room. A.C.D.C., The Bangles and ha- this is a good one- Shania Twain.
Ro: (Laughs.) What can I say? Her taste changes every week. I'm starved; wanna hit Luke's?
Lo: (After a moment.) Nahh.
Ro: (Disbelieving.) Did you just flat out refuse our happy dose of brown goodness?
Lo: (Nodding head.) I believe I did.
Ro: How- why? This is an outrage! Preposterous!
Lo: Hun. you're drinking coffee right now.
Ro: And this even compares to Luke's? Are you out of your mind?
Lo: (Grins.) You know the answer to that.
Ro: Hmmph. why don't you wanna visit our old pal Luke's?
Lo: It's not that I don't want to visit the diner.
Ro: Aha! You finally got sick of monosyllable man!
Lo: Not sick of him. he's just kinda been acting weird lately.
Ro: Weird good or weird bad?
Lo: Weird in-between.
Ro:Ah. Playing the drifter again!
Lo: You can go ahead if you want- you know, I can make myself a severely burnt piece of toast- maybe spread some peanut butter on it to get rid of the flavour.
Ro: Mom!
Lo: What?
Ro: Why are you avoiding Luke?
Lo: I am not avoiding Luke!
Ro: Really? Ok.
Lo: What? That's it? You're not going to ask me bazillion mind-blowing questions?
Ro: Nope. I dropped that hobby a while ago.
Lo: Ok..
(Silence follows for a bit.)
Ro: Hey mom?
Lo: Yup?
Ro: Wanna play a game?
Lo: Always!
Ro: Ok, I ask, you answer. no pensive pauses allowed.
Lo: Ooh fun! Go!
Ro: What's your name?
Lo: Lorelai.
Ro: How old are you?
Lo: Thirty- six.
Ro: What do you feel like eating?
Lo: Spinach.
Ro: (Laughs.) What's your favourite colour?
Lo: Pink.
Ro: Why are you avoiding Luke?
Lo: Because he likes me.
Ro: Gotcha!
Lo: Oh. that's an evil game! Someone shold take that game, stuff it down a drainpipe and then feed-
Ro: Luke likes you?
Lo: I never said that.
Ro: You just did!
Lo: That doesn't count! I mean. that game's obviously not trustworthy. in no way am I craving spinach!
Ro: Mom, spill.
Lo: It was last night at 11:oo.
Ro: After hours coffee.
Lo: Yup. I came in, we talked about couches, flannel shirts.and then you.
Ro: Me.
Lo: Yes you.
Ro: How does me relate to Luke liking you?
Lo: Keeps your pants on missy. and please please PLEASE refrain from saying those words because they're very scary.
Ro: Ok. Continue.
Lo: So, I was talking about how much I miss you.then the conversation took a weird turn and we were discussing the ex.
Ro: Max?
Lo: No, Rachel.
Ro: Ohhh. you're object of insane jealousy hidden behind a coffee mug.
Lo: (Blushes slightly.) What?
Ro: Continue.
Lo: So- uh. I ended up asking him why she left. you know. the second time, and he wouldn't tell me! He makes quite the charming Artful Dodger when he tries.
Ro: Get to the good stuff!
Lo: Good stuff? There was no good stuff, at least if the good stuff implies.
Ro: Ew! Mom! No!
Lo: Ok! Ok! I ended up saying something like.( In French dramatic voice.) "Luke, why must you torment me so? You have nothing to hide from me."
Ro: And.?
Lo: He replied. (Same voice, but lower.) "Maybe I do."
Ro: Dunh dunh dunh. Wait a second! That's it?
Lo: Yup. Why?
Ro: That doesn't prove that he's infatuated with you!
Lo: (Laughs.) Trust you to use the big, complicated word. But I know that doesn't prove anything. It's just a theory, which I blurted out in a moment of uncensored honesty.
(Rory raises her eyebrow skeptically.)
Lo: Ok. so maybe it's more like a needle which poked me in the ass after I realized that the rest of the haystack consisted of bigger and shinier ones.
Ro: That's a very confusing metaphor.
Lo: (Nods and smiles.) I agree.
Ro: So.now you're hiding from Luke?
Lo: That or something similar.
Ro: I still don't get it.
Lo: I have to pee. so I'll leave you with these fine words: "Columbus almost sunk his ship when he came upon unchartered territory."
(Lorelai gets up and heads to the bathroom.)
Ro: Unchartered isn't a word!
Lo: Thanks for the insight!
*****
(Rory enters Luke's Diner and goes to sit down at a countertop stool. After a moment, Luke comes over and pours Rory some coffee.)
Lu: Where's your mom?
Ro: At home.
Lu: She not eating?
Ro: Oh yeah- no, she's. uh. had some very large cravings for- uh. burnt toast lately. so she figured "Why go to Luke's? I've got a toaster, I've got bread, and I'm an expert at burning things!" So. she's eating- just not here.
Lu: (Chuckles.) Sounds like your mom all right.
Ro: Yeah. (Looks at him for a moment.) Luke, about my mom.
Lu: Yeah?
Ro: Uh. never mind.
Lo: So, let me get this straight. the bossy red haired girl, who's name you can't remember told the weird girl to tell Paris to tell you that she likes your shirt.
Ro: Yes. And then, I told Paris to tell the weird girl to tell the bossy red haired girl "Thanks." And now I'm still waiting for her reply and have been referring to her a Blah ever since.
Lo: Your Yale life is fascinating.
Ro: Fascinating or incredibly boring.
Lo: I'm settling on somewhere in-between.
Ro: Good idea, neutral triumphs over all. So, how's Star's Hollow without me?
Lo: Well, the library's sleeping soundly. Also, there is a very suspicious looking Asian girl, who keeps dropping off rectangular shaped parcels.
Ro: Hmmm.I wonder who that could be.
Lo: (Smiles.) They're up in your room. A.C.D.C., The Bangles and ha- this is a good one- Shania Twain.
Ro: (Laughs.) What can I say? Her taste changes every week. I'm starved; wanna hit Luke's?
Lo: (After a moment.) Nahh.
Ro: (Disbelieving.) Did you just flat out refuse our happy dose of brown goodness?
Lo: (Nodding head.) I believe I did.
Ro: How- why? This is an outrage! Preposterous!
Lo: Hun. you're drinking coffee right now.
Ro: And this even compares to Luke's? Are you out of your mind?
Lo: (Grins.) You know the answer to that.
Ro: Hmmph. why don't you wanna visit our old pal Luke's?
Lo: It's not that I don't want to visit the diner.
Ro: Aha! You finally got sick of monosyllable man!
Lo: Not sick of him. he's just kinda been acting weird lately.
Ro: Weird good or weird bad?
Lo: Weird in-between.
Ro:Ah. Playing the drifter again!
Lo: You can go ahead if you want- you know, I can make myself a severely burnt piece of toast- maybe spread some peanut butter on it to get rid of the flavour.
Ro: Mom!
Lo: What?
Ro: Why are you avoiding Luke?
Lo: I am not avoiding Luke!
Ro: Really? Ok.
Lo: What? That's it? You're not going to ask me bazillion mind-blowing questions?
Ro: Nope. I dropped that hobby a while ago.
Lo: Ok..
(Silence follows for a bit.)
Ro: Hey mom?
Lo: Yup?
Ro: Wanna play a game?
Lo: Always!
Ro: Ok, I ask, you answer. no pensive pauses allowed.
Lo: Ooh fun! Go!
Ro: What's your name?
Lo: Lorelai.
Ro: How old are you?
Lo: Thirty- six.
Ro: What do you feel like eating?
Lo: Spinach.
Ro: (Laughs.) What's your favourite colour?
Lo: Pink.
Ro: Why are you avoiding Luke?
Lo: Because he likes me.
Ro: Gotcha!
Lo: Oh. that's an evil game! Someone shold take that game, stuff it down a drainpipe and then feed-
Ro: Luke likes you?
Lo: I never said that.
Ro: You just did!
Lo: That doesn't count! I mean. that game's obviously not trustworthy. in no way am I craving spinach!
Ro: Mom, spill.
Lo: It was last night at 11:oo.
Ro: After hours coffee.
Lo: Yup. I came in, we talked about couches, flannel shirts.and then you.
Ro: Me.
Lo: Yes you.
Ro: How does me relate to Luke liking you?
Lo: Keeps your pants on missy. and please please PLEASE refrain from saying those words because they're very scary.
Ro: Ok. Continue.
Lo: So, I was talking about how much I miss you.then the conversation took a weird turn and we were discussing the ex.
Ro: Max?
Lo: No, Rachel.
Ro: Ohhh. you're object of insane jealousy hidden behind a coffee mug.
Lo: (Blushes slightly.) What?
Ro: Continue.
Lo: So- uh. I ended up asking him why she left. you know. the second time, and he wouldn't tell me! He makes quite the charming Artful Dodger when he tries.
Ro: Get to the good stuff!
Lo: Good stuff? There was no good stuff, at least if the good stuff implies.
Ro: Ew! Mom! No!
Lo: Ok! Ok! I ended up saying something like.( In French dramatic voice.) "Luke, why must you torment me so? You have nothing to hide from me."
Ro: And.?
Lo: He replied. (Same voice, but lower.) "Maybe I do."
Ro: Dunh dunh dunh. Wait a second! That's it?
Lo: Yup. Why?
Ro: That doesn't prove that he's infatuated with you!
Lo: (Laughs.) Trust you to use the big, complicated word. But I know that doesn't prove anything. It's just a theory, which I blurted out in a moment of uncensored honesty.
(Rory raises her eyebrow skeptically.)
Lo: Ok. so maybe it's more like a needle which poked me in the ass after I realized that the rest of the haystack consisted of bigger and shinier ones.
Ro: That's a very confusing metaphor.
Lo: (Nods and smiles.) I agree.
Ro: So.now you're hiding from Luke?
Lo: That or something similar.
Ro: I still don't get it.
Lo: I have to pee. so I'll leave you with these fine words: "Columbus almost sunk his ship when he came upon unchartered territory."
(Lorelai gets up and heads to the bathroom.)
Ro: Unchartered isn't a word!
Lo: Thanks for the insight!
*****
(Rory enters Luke's Diner and goes to sit down at a countertop stool. After a moment, Luke comes over and pours Rory some coffee.)
Lu: Where's your mom?
Ro: At home.
Lu: She not eating?
Ro: Oh yeah- no, she's. uh. had some very large cravings for- uh. burnt toast lately. so she figured "Why go to Luke's? I've got a toaster, I've got bread, and I'm an expert at burning things!" So. she's eating- just not here.
Lu: (Chuckles.) Sounds like your mom all right.
Ro: Yeah. (Looks at him for a moment.) Luke, about my mom.
Lu: Yeah?
Ro: Uh. never mind.