(Rory is talking on the phone with Lane.)
Ro: How's the band?
La: Majorly suffering.we still can't find another member. It's like searching for a needle in a haystack.
Ro: Ha. That's funny. My mom used that simile today.
La: Well, I doubt she was referring to band auditions.
Ro: Nope.she was referring to her and Luke.
La: Her and Luke? As in her and Luke??
Ro: No. Just her and Luke.
La: Oh.'cause it would've been exciting if it were the other one!
Ro: I know! Totally and completely and utterly and blissfully and- ok I'm out.
La: And wonderfully and amazingly-
Ro: And hopefully and happily and lovely-
La: And beautifully and kindly-
Ro: And- ok, are we still talking about my mom and Luke?
La: (Bluntly.) I don't think so. But hey, Is there ANYTHING going on with them?
Ro: What do ya mean?
La: Well. it's so obvious that t least one of them is harbouring a secret crush. and my bet is that it's Luke.'cause he's always giving her that starry- eyed look.
Ro: Heaven forbid!
La: I know! If mama ever saw a boy giving me that, I'd be locked in the basement with a jar of pickles and a battery.
Ro: Why a battery?
La: I donno. 'cause batteries are cool.
Ro: I see. you still want to know about the crush thing?
La: Yes! Definitely!
Ro: Well. mom has some suspicions that Luke's got a thing for her.
La: Took her long enough! So, is she acting on it?
Ro: Nope.
La: (Shocked.) Why?
Ro: Actually.she sort of is. she's hiding in our house, so that I can tell her how much Luke misses her and she can rate his feelings on the "crush- o- meter".
La: Cunning.
Ro: I agree. Oh! Oh! Oh! And the best part? When she does come out of the house.it's to go to Starbucks instead.
La: Ooh.
Ro: What can I say? My mom is a genius!
*****
(Two days later. Rory is again at Luke's without Lorelai. Luke approaches her with a slight frown on his face.)
Lu: Is there something you're not telling me?
Ro: Such as.?
Lu: Your moms got chicken pox? The flu? She's developed some kind of allergy to coffee? Which I gotta tell ya, if that's the case.she had it coming.
Ro: Nope. Nope. And nope.
Lu: Then where the hell is she?
Ro: Is it just my excellent hearing or do you actually miss your other most persistent customer?
Lu: (Blushes.) It's definitely your hearing.
Ro: If you just HAVE to know. mom's taken up going to Starbuck's for her daily doses.
(Luke frowns and his brow furrows in worry.)
Lu: What? How can that be?
Ro: She says. no one there bugs her about her addiction.
Lu: Oh. (Looks really upset.) Ok. Well, will you- uh- tell her that it's- uh. Free Danish day tomorrow?
Ro: (Perks up.) Free Danish day?
Lu: Yup.and she can- uh.have her coffee free too!
(Rory regards him suspiciously and he notices.)
Lu: ONLY because she's missed out on about six since she's been going to Starbuck's instead.
Lu: Ok, I'll tell her.
Lu: Thaks, what do you want?
Ro: Monte Cristo please.
Lu: You know that thing is like 80% cholesterol. I mean, I think it actually won an award for being the fattiest-
Ro: Luke.
Lu: (Catching himself.) Right. Right. Sorry. Don't wanna lose you too. (Luke goes off to get her food, leaving Rory wondering about his last comment.)
*****
(Lorelai is in Doose's. She's shopping in the soup aisle. She bumps into Miss Patty, who's also shopping.)
Pa: Oh, hello Lorelai.
Lo: Hi Patty. How are you?
Pa: Wonderful, thanks. Just realizing my age when it comes to lifting these soup cans. but then again we are all, aren't we?
Lo: Yup. I know exactly what you're talking about. In fact yesterday I could've sworn that I'd aged about 5o years.'cause I picked up a couple of needles and wool, and started knitting! I mean. no offense to you if you knit. but I've- uh. always considered it as a sport for those with artificial hips and liver spots.ha! Like my mother!
Pa: (Looks concerned.) Lorelai, are you all right darling?
Lo: Yes. Perfectly. Just spiffing. Why d'ya ask?
Pa: Well. now because you used the phrase, "Just spiffing." But before because you seem abnormally. jumpy. Almost like you're afraid of running into someone.
Lo: Oh Patty! That's nonsense! If the whole town were to gather around me right now wouldn't flinch or even think of running away. Actually. I might- because of the most likely presence of overwhelming B.O.. but apart from that, I'd be ok with it.
Pa: All right dear. Well, enjoy your shopping.
Lo: You too. (Patty is about to leave when Luke comes up behind them.)
Lu: Hey!
Pa: Oh. (With a glint in her eye.) Hello Luke.
Lu: Hi Patty. Excuse me for a minute, will you? (Turns to Lorelai.) I haven't seen you for a whole week.
Pa: (Hopeful.) Oh?
Lo: Patty, not to be rude. but this is private business.
Pa: Oh.. (Disappointed.) Well, I'll be seeing you later then.
L+L: Bye.
(Miss Patty continues down aisle. Once she is out of earshot Luke turns once again to Lorelai.)
Lu: What's going on?
Lo: Nothing.
Lu: Then where the hell have you been?
Lo: Around.
Lu: Around? (Getting a little angry.) AROUND? Well. obviously you haven't been around d the diner. because I've got a really stale Danish in the back that I've been saving for you for half a week.
Lo: Oh no.. I- uh- haven't been around the diner. I got a little sick of- uh. hearing coffee lectures.
Lu: I've been freakin' lecturing you for over 10 years. why the sudden change of heart?
Lo: Um.a woman's empowerment book. Really hardcore reading, that stuff.
Lu: Something's going on.
Lo: What?
Lu: Something's going on with you that you don't want me knowing about.
Lo: (Casual.) Nope. nothing's going on- I'm still me.. life's still life, and my coffee habits are still entirely unappealing to you.
(Luke is getting frustrated and his voice is raised.)
Lu: Dammit Lorelai! That's not what this is about and you know it!
Lo: Shhh. you're going to pop Mrs. Wilkin's hearing aid out.(Waves to old lady.) Hey Mrs. Wilkins. sorry about that.
Lu: I wanna know why you're avoiding me.
Lo: Shh.
( Luke is on a rant now and very very loud.)
Lu: After years of free coffees, unnecessary favours, and you're still treating me like this!
Lo: Luke, would you please be a bit quieter?
Lu: No! Now tell me. does this have something to do with Friday night?
Lo: No-yes- no.I don't know.
Lu: Well you better damn well figure it out.'cause I'm sick of waiting around.
(Starts to storm down the aisle.)
Lo: (Pleading.) Luke!
(Luke spins around angrily.)
Lu: What?
Lo: Please!
Lu: I'm sick of just "please" Lorelai. You don't get it.,, and do you know what? You never will! 'Cause you're too damn ignorant to see what's right in front of you!
Lo: (Close to tears.) Luke!
Lu: No! That's it! You abandon me. well, now it's my turn! (Storms out, leaving Lorelai crying in the soup aisle.)
Ro: How's the band?
La: Majorly suffering.we still can't find another member. It's like searching for a needle in a haystack.
Ro: Ha. That's funny. My mom used that simile today.
La: Well, I doubt she was referring to band auditions.
Ro: Nope.she was referring to her and Luke.
La: Her and Luke? As in her and Luke??
Ro: No. Just her and Luke.
La: Oh.'cause it would've been exciting if it were the other one!
Ro: I know! Totally and completely and utterly and blissfully and- ok I'm out.
La: And wonderfully and amazingly-
Ro: And hopefully and happily and lovely-
La: And beautifully and kindly-
Ro: And- ok, are we still talking about my mom and Luke?
La: (Bluntly.) I don't think so. But hey, Is there ANYTHING going on with them?
Ro: What do ya mean?
La: Well. it's so obvious that t least one of them is harbouring a secret crush. and my bet is that it's Luke.'cause he's always giving her that starry- eyed look.
Ro: Heaven forbid!
La: I know! If mama ever saw a boy giving me that, I'd be locked in the basement with a jar of pickles and a battery.
Ro: Why a battery?
La: I donno. 'cause batteries are cool.
Ro: I see. you still want to know about the crush thing?
La: Yes! Definitely!
Ro: Well. mom has some suspicions that Luke's got a thing for her.
La: Took her long enough! So, is she acting on it?
Ro: Nope.
La: (Shocked.) Why?
Ro: Actually.she sort of is. she's hiding in our house, so that I can tell her how much Luke misses her and she can rate his feelings on the "crush- o- meter".
La: Cunning.
Ro: I agree. Oh! Oh! Oh! And the best part? When she does come out of the house.it's to go to Starbucks instead.
La: Ooh.
Ro: What can I say? My mom is a genius!
*****
(Two days later. Rory is again at Luke's without Lorelai. Luke approaches her with a slight frown on his face.)
Lu: Is there something you're not telling me?
Ro: Such as.?
Lu: Your moms got chicken pox? The flu? She's developed some kind of allergy to coffee? Which I gotta tell ya, if that's the case.she had it coming.
Ro: Nope. Nope. And nope.
Lu: Then where the hell is she?
Ro: Is it just my excellent hearing or do you actually miss your other most persistent customer?
Lu: (Blushes.) It's definitely your hearing.
Ro: If you just HAVE to know. mom's taken up going to Starbuck's for her daily doses.
(Luke frowns and his brow furrows in worry.)
Lu: What? How can that be?
Ro: She says. no one there bugs her about her addiction.
Lu: Oh. (Looks really upset.) Ok. Well, will you- uh- tell her that it's- uh. Free Danish day tomorrow?
Ro: (Perks up.) Free Danish day?
Lu: Yup.and she can- uh.have her coffee free too!
(Rory regards him suspiciously and he notices.)
Lu: ONLY because she's missed out on about six since she's been going to Starbuck's instead.
Lu: Ok, I'll tell her.
Lu: Thaks, what do you want?
Ro: Monte Cristo please.
Lu: You know that thing is like 80% cholesterol. I mean, I think it actually won an award for being the fattiest-
Ro: Luke.
Lu: (Catching himself.) Right. Right. Sorry. Don't wanna lose you too. (Luke goes off to get her food, leaving Rory wondering about his last comment.)
*****
(Lorelai is in Doose's. She's shopping in the soup aisle. She bumps into Miss Patty, who's also shopping.)
Pa: Oh, hello Lorelai.
Lo: Hi Patty. How are you?
Pa: Wonderful, thanks. Just realizing my age when it comes to lifting these soup cans. but then again we are all, aren't we?
Lo: Yup. I know exactly what you're talking about. In fact yesterday I could've sworn that I'd aged about 5o years.'cause I picked up a couple of needles and wool, and started knitting! I mean. no offense to you if you knit. but I've- uh. always considered it as a sport for those with artificial hips and liver spots.ha! Like my mother!
Pa: (Looks concerned.) Lorelai, are you all right darling?
Lo: Yes. Perfectly. Just spiffing. Why d'ya ask?
Pa: Well. now because you used the phrase, "Just spiffing." But before because you seem abnormally. jumpy. Almost like you're afraid of running into someone.
Lo: Oh Patty! That's nonsense! If the whole town were to gather around me right now wouldn't flinch or even think of running away. Actually. I might- because of the most likely presence of overwhelming B.O.. but apart from that, I'd be ok with it.
Pa: All right dear. Well, enjoy your shopping.
Lo: You too. (Patty is about to leave when Luke comes up behind them.)
Lu: Hey!
Pa: Oh. (With a glint in her eye.) Hello Luke.
Lu: Hi Patty. Excuse me for a minute, will you? (Turns to Lorelai.) I haven't seen you for a whole week.
Pa: (Hopeful.) Oh?
Lo: Patty, not to be rude. but this is private business.
Pa: Oh.. (Disappointed.) Well, I'll be seeing you later then.
L+L: Bye.
(Miss Patty continues down aisle. Once she is out of earshot Luke turns once again to Lorelai.)
Lu: What's going on?
Lo: Nothing.
Lu: Then where the hell have you been?
Lo: Around.
Lu: Around? (Getting a little angry.) AROUND? Well. obviously you haven't been around d the diner. because I've got a really stale Danish in the back that I've been saving for you for half a week.
Lo: Oh no.. I- uh- haven't been around the diner. I got a little sick of- uh. hearing coffee lectures.
Lu: I've been freakin' lecturing you for over 10 years. why the sudden change of heart?
Lo: Um.a woman's empowerment book. Really hardcore reading, that stuff.
Lu: Something's going on.
Lo: What?
Lu: Something's going on with you that you don't want me knowing about.
Lo: (Casual.) Nope. nothing's going on- I'm still me.. life's still life, and my coffee habits are still entirely unappealing to you.
(Luke is getting frustrated and his voice is raised.)
Lu: Dammit Lorelai! That's not what this is about and you know it!
Lo: Shhh. you're going to pop Mrs. Wilkin's hearing aid out.(Waves to old lady.) Hey Mrs. Wilkins. sorry about that.
Lu: I wanna know why you're avoiding me.
Lo: Shh.
( Luke is on a rant now and very very loud.)
Lu: After years of free coffees, unnecessary favours, and you're still treating me like this!
Lo: Luke, would you please be a bit quieter?
Lu: No! Now tell me. does this have something to do with Friday night?
Lo: No-yes- no.I don't know.
Lu: Well you better damn well figure it out.'cause I'm sick of waiting around.
(Starts to storm down the aisle.)
Lo: (Pleading.) Luke!
(Luke spins around angrily.)
Lu: What?
Lo: Please!
Lu: I'm sick of just "please" Lorelai. You don't get it.,, and do you know what? You never will! 'Cause you're too damn ignorant to see what's right in front of you!
Lo: (Close to tears.) Luke!
Lu: No! That's it! You abandon me. well, now it's my turn! (Storms out, leaving Lorelai crying in the soup aisle.)