Sorry it's taken so long x_x; .. I've been super busy but I haven't
forgotten about this story. Just had some writers block lol. Sorry again.
Hope you guys like. :D
This doesn't follow any of the current storylines. It's all my stuff. o_O; .. Though I might use some references here and there to real storylines. I made it longer to make up for the fact that I haven't updated in forever. Enjoy :)
I don't own any of the names I use. Disturbed owns the song "Remember"
~
][Sensation washes over me
I can't describe it
Pain I felt so long ago
I don't remember][
"Hey assclown, mind hurrying up a little bit?" I asked impatiently. The staff worker glanced up at me briefly, nervously, then looked back down at his clipboard. I rolled my eyes and looked up at the ceiling, before he finally answered.
"You have a match with Maven tonight." He finally said.
"Thank you. Now get your useless self back to work." I demanded, and he turned and walked quickly away from me. I smirked and suddenly felt someone hug me from behind.
"You're too mean."
"Can't help it." I said as she let go and I turned around. I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tightly, relishing in the fact that she was mine again. It had only been about three days since we had had that talk back in my hotel room. Things weren't the greatest, as a matter of fact, they were awkward a large part of the time. It needed work, but most of all it needed time.
"Don't squeeze too tight. I have to breathe, you know." Stephanie said jokingly before laughing.
"Yeah, I know." I let her go and leaned in, kissing her gently. She wrapped her arms around my neck and deepened the kiss. Moments like those made me forget about our past. It pushed away all of the hurt. If only she could understand how much I really loved her..
Her cell phone suddenly rang, and she pulled away from me to answer it. I sighed longingly and looked away as she talked. I snuck a look back over at her. She was dressed like a true professional.. her hair was down and it was curled, and she had just the right amount of makeup on. She was absolutely stunning. She also did an amazing job of covering up that bruise around her eye.. I felt my fists clench up as I remembered who the source of that was.
"Alright.. I'll be there." She hung up and turned back to me. "Sorry Chris, I have to go to a meeting. Short notice."
I shrugged like I didn't care. She sighed and stepped back up to me, kissing me on the cheek and touching my arm for a brief second.
"I'll see you later. Stay out of trouble." She instructed.
"Sure thing.." I said before watching her take her leave. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding, and then leaned back against the wall. This was what I wanted, right?
][Tear a hole so I can see
My devastation
Feelings from so long ago
I don't remember][
I heard shuffling around and glanced over at my side, seeing someone who I still had unfinished business with. I smirked unconsciously and pushed myself off the wall, before walking over. I took a look around, and to my satisfaction, no one was around.
"You want to know something funny," I said, in a tone that I couldn't even quite figure out. It was cold and bitter, yet calm at the same time. He straightened at the sound of my voice. "I once respected you."
He turned around to face me, his expression dark. I really did a number on him. That made my smirk grow to a smile, which only served to piss him off.
"What are you smiling about, asshole?! Look at what you did to me! LOOK!" He shouted, yelling as he pointed to the bandage on his forehead. I made a hissing sound as if it hurt me, and nodded, faking concern.
"I see.. pretty bad." I nodded. "But you want to know something Hunter?"
"What?" He asked angrily. I suddenly reached out to him and pushed him back against the wall behind him. He winced when I did, but I didn't care. I stood on the tips of my toes to try and seem taller, but I could make up the difference in height very quickly. Keeping my grip on his shirt, I leaned up to him.
"You tell anyone that it was me who fucked you up that night, and I'll make it ten times worse next time; plus you can kiss your job away." I said in an even voice. I surprised my own self by my threat. Triple H looked more surprised than intimidated too. I suddenly couldn't resist, and leaned in a little closer, my mouth close to his ear, as if I was about to tell him a secret.
"She was mine way before she even knew your name." I whispered, and then he shoved me off of him. I couldn't help but laugh at the look on his face. It was priceless, and I loved it.
"So YOU were that asshole she was with before she was with me.." He said, realization in his tone. I smirked and spread my arms out, shrugging.
"The one and only baby." I grinned at him, while he stood there, fuming. Suddenly, he seemed to relax and then, he grinned himself. I looked at him, confused. "What?" I asked.
"You obviously weren't getting the job done because she ran right into my arms, without giving you a second thought." He said smugly.
"Yeah? Well who's she with now?" I asked arrogantly.
"If she's with you, then let me tell you, it's not gonna last, buddy." He said, getting closer to me. For some reason, I let him. "You couldn't satisfy her then, you sure as hell are not going to do it now. Let it go, Chris. She'll never truly be yours."
"What's going on here?"
We both turned at the sound of Vince McMahon's voice. I took a step back from Triple H, his words repeating themselves in my head.
"Nothing." I answered shortly, and then turned and walked off, before Vince could ask me anything else. He wasn't right, I told myself. It wasn't true. Why the hell was I giving what HUNTER said any thought? I shook my head. I needed Stephanie.
][Holding on, to let them know
What's given to me
To hide behind
The mask this time
And try to believe][
I heard footsteps behind me, and I sighed impatiently. The footsteps got nearer and I looked over my shoulder. I slowed down and let Christian catch up to me. He had his hand out and I stuck mine out, and we high-fived.
"C-Man! What's up man? Where you been?" He asked as he fell into step with me.
"Around." I shrugged, Hunter still on my mind. I wondered what he was telling Vince. Nothing like he told me, that was for sure.
"Chris? Something wrong?" Christian said, and that snapped me out of it.
"No, sorry. What were you saying?"
"Are the rumors true?"
I turned to look at him, frowning. Part of the reason I couldn't stand the majority of my co-workers was because none of them could keep a damn secret to save their lives. Word spread like a wildfire in the locker rooms.
"What are they saying this time?" I asked, sighing.
"Something about you and Stephanie being together? Dude, is that true?" He asked, prying as I walked faster. He stepped it up to keep up with me.
"I guess you can say that." I said, not sure of where I was going, but not wanting to go to the locker room just yet. I could deal with talking to one person at a time, maybe two, but a whole crowd of nosy wrestlers? No way. I wouldn't last before snapping on someone, and I didn't have enough friends to truly start something like that.
"Man.. I don't know, Chris." He said, shaking his head. I shot a look of steel at him and he raised his hands defensively.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.
"You're whipped for her, huh?" He said, before reaching his arm out for me to stop walking. I stopped and my fists clenched up for some reason. "Chris, we're friends, right?" He asked.
"Yeah, I'd say we are. Why?" I asked.
"Friends are supposed to be honest. I think I know you, Chris. You're too.. you and Stephanie, I don't think that's going to work."
".. Excuse me?" I asked, in complete disbelief. For the first time in a long time, I was almost rendered speechless. Where the hell was he coming up with this? If I wasn't so caught off guard with his bold statement, I might have been angry enough to knock his lights out. Friend or no friend.
"Chris.. how can you trust her?" He asked softly so no one else could hear.
"I'll take my chances." I said, not wanting to remember anything. I felt myself getting dizzy, so I rubbed the back of my head. Where was Stephanie when I needed her?
"Look at you. You're my friend, we're cool and everything, but Chris.. you and Stephanie are complete opposites. I know they say opposites attract but.. you two just seem so far apart, too far apart. She's such a sweet girl, she really is, she's changed. But you, you're stuck.. to be frank, you're not up to her level.. she doesn't deserve a guy like us -"
"You know what?" I said, cutting him off. "Shut up."
"See, that's what I meant - "
"What the fuck did I just say?!" I shouted. He sighed and looked down, nodding.
"Okay, okay."
"Thank you." I said sarcastically.
"You should lighten up though. It wouldn't kill you." He looked at his watch. "Damn, I gotta run. I'm gonna be late. I was supposed to call someone.."
"Yeah yeah, just go." I said, dismissing him with my hand before turning away. I walked away and could hear him jogging away, in the opposite direction. I ran a hand through my hair. I should have been happy, and instead, I was being even more edgy than usual. What the hell was wrong with me?
][Blind your eyes to what you see
You can't embrace it
Leave it well enough alone
And don't remember][
Sighing, I stopped walking and sat down against the nearest wall. I pulled my knees up to my chest and crossed my arms over them, burying my face and closing my eyes. What was up? Why couldn't I just keep control of my temper?
I stayed to myself, trying to hide from everyone, ignoring everyone, so I didn't notice when she sat down next to me until she touched me. I looked up at her, her bright blue eyes, full of concern for me.
"Chris.." Stephanie said, stroking my hair. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know. Everything I guess." I mumbled. She put her arm around me, no longer caring who saw, and hugged me close. I sighed and let her, relishing her mere touch.
"Triple H is not going to say it was you. He knows." She said, while she rubbed my arm as she held me closely.
"I figured as much." I said, and she suddenly pulled away. I looked up at her as she stood up, and followed her lead as I got up to my feet. We made eye contact, and everything Christian said ran through my mind. I shook my head. We were starting over from scratch. Things were different.
"You okay, Chris?" I saw sincere concern on her face, and was about to break down and tell her everything that was going on, how confused I really was, how much I had changed into a complete asshole without even realizing it, how insecure I really was.. what Hunter had said.. when her pager went off. She turned away from me to check the number.
"Hang on." She said. I sighed and closed my eyes, rubbing the back of my neck while she called the person back on her cell phone. I stood and waited, thinking maybe it would be over with quickly. Five minutes passed, and then ten. She must have forgotten that I was there. I looked off to the side, and saw Christian and Angle talking. Christian pointed over in my direction, and I saw Angle shake his head. I made eye contact with Kurt for a second, and he gave me a knowing look.
I looked back at Stephanie. There she was.. on the phone, doing business, writing down notes on the nearest table, taking down information.. a true businesswoman. Here I was, just a confused man who didn't know why he acted or felt the way he did. I suddenly felt a huge rift between us and realized how different we really were. Christian was right. We were entirely different.
][Cut your pride and watch it bleed
You can't deny it
Pain you know you can't ignore
I don't remember][
Finally, she got off.
"Okay!" She said, finally turning back to me. She gave me her smile. My heart began to ache for some reason. "So. What were you saying?"
"Do you even care?" I asked quietly, in fear that I'd lose my control if I spoke louder. She heard me anyways.
"Of course I care!" She asked, looking at me as if I were crazy to think that she didn't.
"Stephanie, Mr. McMahon needs to see you." Someone interrupted, and Stephanie turned to him. He was the same staff worker I had been messing with earlier. I looked at Stephanie, and turned away, my old feelings of hurt returning quickly.
"Tell him I'm busy with my boyfriend." She answered curtly.
"But it's important ma'am." He said. She sighed as I kept my back to her, looking down at the floor. I closed my eyes so no one could see the tears that were beginning to form. I knew her all too well. I was such an idiot.
"Alright.. I'll be there in five minutes. It had better be EARTH- SHATTERING, you hear me?" She said, annoyance in her voice.
"I'll go tell him you'll go then." I could hear him walking away, and then a few seconds later, felt her hand on my shoulder.
"I'll be really fast Chris, and then we'll talk.. okay?" She asked as she squeezed my shoulder. I just nodded, and just like that, she was gone.
She was the reason for my insecurities. She was my strength, yet she was my weakness. I hadn't recovered from the damage our past had done to me. I was a new person from the first man she met. She didn't seem to care, but she wasn't there for me like she used to be. It seemed as if just because we were together, things had just fixed themselves to her.
Well, things didn't work like that. The rest of the night passed in a blur. I waited for Stephanie to come back, but minutes passed, and minutes turned into hours, and then it was time for my match against Maven.
The match dragged. Stephanie was on my mind the whole time. A good five minutes into the match, I remembered where I was, and suddenly, everything I felt came rushing through me. The pain from the past, the confusion, the anger.. I suddenly had to unleash it. I grabbed Maven and locked him in the Walls within seconds, and he tapped out.
I didn't let go. She was going to ignore me again? I didn't think so. I bent my knees a little and pulled back more, Maven's screams and the shouting of the referees for me to let go draining out to my ears. I wasn't just some play toy Stephanie had that she could keep coming back to whenever SHE felt like it. I felt my anger growing with myself for being stupid enough to believe that things could change..
][I'm just holding on, to let them know
What's given to me
To hide behind the mask this time
And try to believe][
They yanked me off of him, and out of my thoughts. I dropped and rolled out of the ring, and walked up the ramp, to loud boos and "asshole" chants from the fans. I suddenly smirked and turned around, spreading my arms out, and soaking up their hatred for me. It was bitter-sweet and I loved it. It was so easy to be hated, but oh so difficult to be loved.
I walked backstage and walked past all the wrestlers that were there, ignoring them. I went to walk past Christian when he reached out and grabbed my arm. I pulled free of him and kept walking. I didn't want to hear it anymore.
I walked right into the locker room, into a barrage of questions from the boys that were there.
"Jericho, you don't look so good."
"Yeah, what's eating you?"
I ignored them, went and grabbed my bags, then turned to leave.
"Who cares what he's going through?"
"Just leave him alone. He doesn't care about anything."
I stopped at the door, thinking about saying something, but decided against it. They were just like the fans. Totally clueless. That wasn't my problem. I walked out and headed towards the exit, when I heard her call me.
"Chris, wait!" She shouted. I froze, though everything inside of me was telling me to keep walking. She caught up to me, stepping in front of me. I was looking down at the floor, and she tilted my head back up so we were making eye contact.
][If I can
Remember
To know this
Will conquer me][
"What?" I asked, feeling as if she could see right through me.
"You need to learn to keep your temper in check." She said, frowning. "You can't go around trying to injure every guy you can!"
"Oh." I said, realizing what she was talking about. "I didn't mean to hurt Maven -"
"This isn't the first time Chris!" She snapped.
"I said I didn't mean it!" I snapped back. "Besides, it was your fault!"
"My fault? Oh yeah, I really made you keep that hold on him. I was out there telling you to keep it on for as long as you did, right?" I went to answer, but she didn't let me. "And then, look at what you did to Hunter!"
"..You're kidding me, right?" I asked, in total disbelief. Surely, my ears must have been deceiving me. I looked into her eyes, and all I saw was anger.
"You didn't have to hurt him that bad!"
"THAT BAD?!" I shouted, making her jump. I felt my heart pounding in my chest. "I did what I did for YOU! You can't even understand that!"
"Don't yell at me, Chris." She said warningly.
"Don't yell Chris, don't hit him, Chris, why'd you do that, Chris." I said, mocking her. "You know what? I'm sick of this bullshit. Do you even realize that you've been ignoring me this whole day?"
"I have NOT!" She said indignantly. "I had things to do!"
"Things to do," I scoffed. "Funny how when you were with Hunter, you blew everything off for him, right?"
"Do NOT bring that up now." Her eyes narrowed angrily.
"Why not? Because it's true?" I asked.
"Chris, why are you being so selfish?" She demanded.
"Why are you so unreachable?" I asked, exasperated, with angry tears filling my eyes. The anger finally left her eyes, and she reached out to touch me.
"Ms. McMahon. You're needed in Mr. McMahon's office." Someone called out.
"Just go." I muttered, looking away. I suddenly didn't want to be so close to her.
"Chris, I promise, we'll talk as soon as I get back to the hotel, okay? I promise you that." She said, taking my hand in hers. She raised it up to her hands and kissed it. "I'll see you later tonight." With that, she was gone. Again. I stood for a moment, not moving. I wiped at my eyes, and took a deep breath. I was Chris Jericho. I didn't need this. I didn't need anyone.
Maybe Hunter and Christian were both right after all.
This doesn't follow any of the current storylines. It's all my stuff. o_O; .. Though I might use some references here and there to real storylines. I made it longer to make up for the fact that I haven't updated in forever. Enjoy :)
I don't own any of the names I use. Disturbed owns the song "Remember"
~
][Sensation washes over me
I can't describe it
Pain I felt so long ago
I don't remember][
"Hey assclown, mind hurrying up a little bit?" I asked impatiently. The staff worker glanced up at me briefly, nervously, then looked back down at his clipboard. I rolled my eyes and looked up at the ceiling, before he finally answered.
"You have a match with Maven tonight." He finally said.
"Thank you. Now get your useless self back to work." I demanded, and he turned and walked quickly away from me. I smirked and suddenly felt someone hug me from behind.
"You're too mean."
"Can't help it." I said as she let go and I turned around. I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tightly, relishing in the fact that she was mine again. It had only been about three days since we had had that talk back in my hotel room. Things weren't the greatest, as a matter of fact, they were awkward a large part of the time. It needed work, but most of all it needed time.
"Don't squeeze too tight. I have to breathe, you know." Stephanie said jokingly before laughing.
"Yeah, I know." I let her go and leaned in, kissing her gently. She wrapped her arms around my neck and deepened the kiss. Moments like those made me forget about our past. It pushed away all of the hurt. If only she could understand how much I really loved her..
Her cell phone suddenly rang, and she pulled away from me to answer it. I sighed longingly and looked away as she talked. I snuck a look back over at her. She was dressed like a true professional.. her hair was down and it was curled, and she had just the right amount of makeup on. She was absolutely stunning. She also did an amazing job of covering up that bruise around her eye.. I felt my fists clench up as I remembered who the source of that was.
"Alright.. I'll be there." She hung up and turned back to me. "Sorry Chris, I have to go to a meeting. Short notice."
I shrugged like I didn't care. She sighed and stepped back up to me, kissing me on the cheek and touching my arm for a brief second.
"I'll see you later. Stay out of trouble." She instructed.
"Sure thing.." I said before watching her take her leave. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding, and then leaned back against the wall. This was what I wanted, right?
][Tear a hole so I can see
My devastation
Feelings from so long ago
I don't remember][
I heard shuffling around and glanced over at my side, seeing someone who I still had unfinished business with. I smirked unconsciously and pushed myself off the wall, before walking over. I took a look around, and to my satisfaction, no one was around.
"You want to know something funny," I said, in a tone that I couldn't even quite figure out. It was cold and bitter, yet calm at the same time. He straightened at the sound of my voice. "I once respected you."
He turned around to face me, his expression dark. I really did a number on him. That made my smirk grow to a smile, which only served to piss him off.
"What are you smiling about, asshole?! Look at what you did to me! LOOK!" He shouted, yelling as he pointed to the bandage on his forehead. I made a hissing sound as if it hurt me, and nodded, faking concern.
"I see.. pretty bad." I nodded. "But you want to know something Hunter?"
"What?" He asked angrily. I suddenly reached out to him and pushed him back against the wall behind him. He winced when I did, but I didn't care. I stood on the tips of my toes to try and seem taller, but I could make up the difference in height very quickly. Keeping my grip on his shirt, I leaned up to him.
"You tell anyone that it was me who fucked you up that night, and I'll make it ten times worse next time; plus you can kiss your job away." I said in an even voice. I surprised my own self by my threat. Triple H looked more surprised than intimidated too. I suddenly couldn't resist, and leaned in a little closer, my mouth close to his ear, as if I was about to tell him a secret.
"She was mine way before she even knew your name." I whispered, and then he shoved me off of him. I couldn't help but laugh at the look on his face. It was priceless, and I loved it.
"So YOU were that asshole she was with before she was with me.." He said, realization in his tone. I smirked and spread my arms out, shrugging.
"The one and only baby." I grinned at him, while he stood there, fuming. Suddenly, he seemed to relax and then, he grinned himself. I looked at him, confused. "What?" I asked.
"You obviously weren't getting the job done because she ran right into my arms, without giving you a second thought." He said smugly.
"Yeah? Well who's she with now?" I asked arrogantly.
"If she's with you, then let me tell you, it's not gonna last, buddy." He said, getting closer to me. For some reason, I let him. "You couldn't satisfy her then, you sure as hell are not going to do it now. Let it go, Chris. She'll never truly be yours."
"What's going on here?"
We both turned at the sound of Vince McMahon's voice. I took a step back from Triple H, his words repeating themselves in my head.
"Nothing." I answered shortly, and then turned and walked off, before Vince could ask me anything else. He wasn't right, I told myself. It wasn't true. Why the hell was I giving what HUNTER said any thought? I shook my head. I needed Stephanie.
][Holding on, to let them know
What's given to me
To hide behind
The mask this time
And try to believe][
I heard footsteps behind me, and I sighed impatiently. The footsteps got nearer and I looked over my shoulder. I slowed down and let Christian catch up to me. He had his hand out and I stuck mine out, and we high-fived.
"C-Man! What's up man? Where you been?" He asked as he fell into step with me.
"Around." I shrugged, Hunter still on my mind. I wondered what he was telling Vince. Nothing like he told me, that was for sure.
"Chris? Something wrong?" Christian said, and that snapped me out of it.
"No, sorry. What were you saying?"
"Are the rumors true?"
I turned to look at him, frowning. Part of the reason I couldn't stand the majority of my co-workers was because none of them could keep a damn secret to save their lives. Word spread like a wildfire in the locker rooms.
"What are they saying this time?" I asked, sighing.
"Something about you and Stephanie being together? Dude, is that true?" He asked, prying as I walked faster. He stepped it up to keep up with me.
"I guess you can say that." I said, not sure of where I was going, but not wanting to go to the locker room just yet. I could deal with talking to one person at a time, maybe two, but a whole crowd of nosy wrestlers? No way. I wouldn't last before snapping on someone, and I didn't have enough friends to truly start something like that.
"Man.. I don't know, Chris." He said, shaking his head. I shot a look of steel at him and he raised his hands defensively.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.
"You're whipped for her, huh?" He said, before reaching his arm out for me to stop walking. I stopped and my fists clenched up for some reason. "Chris, we're friends, right?" He asked.
"Yeah, I'd say we are. Why?" I asked.
"Friends are supposed to be honest. I think I know you, Chris. You're too.. you and Stephanie, I don't think that's going to work."
".. Excuse me?" I asked, in complete disbelief. For the first time in a long time, I was almost rendered speechless. Where the hell was he coming up with this? If I wasn't so caught off guard with his bold statement, I might have been angry enough to knock his lights out. Friend or no friend.
"Chris.. how can you trust her?" He asked softly so no one else could hear.
"I'll take my chances." I said, not wanting to remember anything. I felt myself getting dizzy, so I rubbed the back of my head. Where was Stephanie when I needed her?
"Look at you. You're my friend, we're cool and everything, but Chris.. you and Stephanie are complete opposites. I know they say opposites attract but.. you two just seem so far apart, too far apart. She's such a sweet girl, she really is, she's changed. But you, you're stuck.. to be frank, you're not up to her level.. she doesn't deserve a guy like us -"
"You know what?" I said, cutting him off. "Shut up."
"See, that's what I meant - "
"What the fuck did I just say?!" I shouted. He sighed and looked down, nodding.
"Okay, okay."
"Thank you." I said sarcastically.
"You should lighten up though. It wouldn't kill you." He looked at his watch. "Damn, I gotta run. I'm gonna be late. I was supposed to call someone.."
"Yeah yeah, just go." I said, dismissing him with my hand before turning away. I walked away and could hear him jogging away, in the opposite direction. I ran a hand through my hair. I should have been happy, and instead, I was being even more edgy than usual. What the hell was wrong with me?
][Blind your eyes to what you see
You can't embrace it
Leave it well enough alone
And don't remember][
Sighing, I stopped walking and sat down against the nearest wall. I pulled my knees up to my chest and crossed my arms over them, burying my face and closing my eyes. What was up? Why couldn't I just keep control of my temper?
I stayed to myself, trying to hide from everyone, ignoring everyone, so I didn't notice when she sat down next to me until she touched me. I looked up at her, her bright blue eyes, full of concern for me.
"Chris.." Stephanie said, stroking my hair. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know. Everything I guess." I mumbled. She put her arm around me, no longer caring who saw, and hugged me close. I sighed and let her, relishing her mere touch.
"Triple H is not going to say it was you. He knows." She said, while she rubbed my arm as she held me closely.
"I figured as much." I said, and she suddenly pulled away. I looked up at her as she stood up, and followed her lead as I got up to my feet. We made eye contact, and everything Christian said ran through my mind. I shook my head. We were starting over from scratch. Things were different.
"You okay, Chris?" I saw sincere concern on her face, and was about to break down and tell her everything that was going on, how confused I really was, how much I had changed into a complete asshole without even realizing it, how insecure I really was.. what Hunter had said.. when her pager went off. She turned away from me to check the number.
"Hang on." She said. I sighed and closed my eyes, rubbing the back of my neck while she called the person back on her cell phone. I stood and waited, thinking maybe it would be over with quickly. Five minutes passed, and then ten. She must have forgotten that I was there. I looked off to the side, and saw Christian and Angle talking. Christian pointed over in my direction, and I saw Angle shake his head. I made eye contact with Kurt for a second, and he gave me a knowing look.
I looked back at Stephanie. There she was.. on the phone, doing business, writing down notes on the nearest table, taking down information.. a true businesswoman. Here I was, just a confused man who didn't know why he acted or felt the way he did. I suddenly felt a huge rift between us and realized how different we really were. Christian was right. We were entirely different.
][Cut your pride and watch it bleed
You can't deny it
Pain you know you can't ignore
I don't remember][
Finally, she got off.
"Okay!" She said, finally turning back to me. She gave me her smile. My heart began to ache for some reason. "So. What were you saying?"
"Do you even care?" I asked quietly, in fear that I'd lose my control if I spoke louder. She heard me anyways.
"Of course I care!" She asked, looking at me as if I were crazy to think that she didn't.
"Stephanie, Mr. McMahon needs to see you." Someone interrupted, and Stephanie turned to him. He was the same staff worker I had been messing with earlier. I looked at Stephanie, and turned away, my old feelings of hurt returning quickly.
"Tell him I'm busy with my boyfriend." She answered curtly.
"But it's important ma'am." He said. She sighed as I kept my back to her, looking down at the floor. I closed my eyes so no one could see the tears that were beginning to form. I knew her all too well. I was such an idiot.
"Alright.. I'll be there in five minutes. It had better be EARTH- SHATTERING, you hear me?" She said, annoyance in her voice.
"I'll go tell him you'll go then." I could hear him walking away, and then a few seconds later, felt her hand on my shoulder.
"I'll be really fast Chris, and then we'll talk.. okay?" She asked as she squeezed my shoulder. I just nodded, and just like that, she was gone.
She was the reason for my insecurities. She was my strength, yet she was my weakness. I hadn't recovered from the damage our past had done to me. I was a new person from the first man she met. She didn't seem to care, but she wasn't there for me like she used to be. It seemed as if just because we were together, things had just fixed themselves to her.
Well, things didn't work like that. The rest of the night passed in a blur. I waited for Stephanie to come back, but minutes passed, and minutes turned into hours, and then it was time for my match against Maven.
The match dragged. Stephanie was on my mind the whole time. A good five minutes into the match, I remembered where I was, and suddenly, everything I felt came rushing through me. The pain from the past, the confusion, the anger.. I suddenly had to unleash it. I grabbed Maven and locked him in the Walls within seconds, and he tapped out.
I didn't let go. She was going to ignore me again? I didn't think so. I bent my knees a little and pulled back more, Maven's screams and the shouting of the referees for me to let go draining out to my ears. I wasn't just some play toy Stephanie had that she could keep coming back to whenever SHE felt like it. I felt my anger growing with myself for being stupid enough to believe that things could change..
][I'm just holding on, to let them know
What's given to me
To hide behind the mask this time
And try to believe][
They yanked me off of him, and out of my thoughts. I dropped and rolled out of the ring, and walked up the ramp, to loud boos and "asshole" chants from the fans. I suddenly smirked and turned around, spreading my arms out, and soaking up their hatred for me. It was bitter-sweet and I loved it. It was so easy to be hated, but oh so difficult to be loved.
I walked backstage and walked past all the wrestlers that were there, ignoring them. I went to walk past Christian when he reached out and grabbed my arm. I pulled free of him and kept walking. I didn't want to hear it anymore.
I walked right into the locker room, into a barrage of questions from the boys that were there.
"Jericho, you don't look so good."
"Yeah, what's eating you?"
I ignored them, went and grabbed my bags, then turned to leave.
"Who cares what he's going through?"
"Just leave him alone. He doesn't care about anything."
I stopped at the door, thinking about saying something, but decided against it. They were just like the fans. Totally clueless. That wasn't my problem. I walked out and headed towards the exit, when I heard her call me.
"Chris, wait!" She shouted. I froze, though everything inside of me was telling me to keep walking. She caught up to me, stepping in front of me. I was looking down at the floor, and she tilted my head back up so we were making eye contact.
][If I can
Remember
To know this
Will conquer me][
"What?" I asked, feeling as if she could see right through me.
"You need to learn to keep your temper in check." She said, frowning. "You can't go around trying to injure every guy you can!"
"Oh." I said, realizing what she was talking about. "I didn't mean to hurt Maven -"
"This isn't the first time Chris!" She snapped.
"I said I didn't mean it!" I snapped back. "Besides, it was your fault!"
"My fault? Oh yeah, I really made you keep that hold on him. I was out there telling you to keep it on for as long as you did, right?" I went to answer, but she didn't let me. "And then, look at what you did to Hunter!"
"..You're kidding me, right?" I asked, in total disbelief. Surely, my ears must have been deceiving me. I looked into her eyes, and all I saw was anger.
"You didn't have to hurt him that bad!"
"THAT BAD?!" I shouted, making her jump. I felt my heart pounding in my chest. "I did what I did for YOU! You can't even understand that!"
"Don't yell at me, Chris." She said warningly.
"Don't yell Chris, don't hit him, Chris, why'd you do that, Chris." I said, mocking her. "You know what? I'm sick of this bullshit. Do you even realize that you've been ignoring me this whole day?"
"I have NOT!" She said indignantly. "I had things to do!"
"Things to do," I scoffed. "Funny how when you were with Hunter, you blew everything off for him, right?"
"Do NOT bring that up now." Her eyes narrowed angrily.
"Why not? Because it's true?" I asked.
"Chris, why are you being so selfish?" She demanded.
"Why are you so unreachable?" I asked, exasperated, with angry tears filling my eyes. The anger finally left her eyes, and she reached out to touch me.
"Ms. McMahon. You're needed in Mr. McMahon's office." Someone called out.
"Just go." I muttered, looking away. I suddenly didn't want to be so close to her.
"Chris, I promise, we'll talk as soon as I get back to the hotel, okay? I promise you that." She said, taking my hand in hers. She raised it up to her hands and kissed it. "I'll see you later tonight." With that, she was gone. Again. I stood for a moment, not moving. I wiped at my eyes, and took a deep breath. I was Chris Jericho. I didn't need this. I didn't need anyone.
Maybe Hunter and Christian were both right after all.