Chapter 1

When initiation ends it doesn't feel like i thought it would. Yeah, there's elation and wonder, but there is also fear. Fear of what comes next. Fear of how Four will react when I tell him. Fear of how the entire faction will react when he inevitably tells everyone.

When he walks up to me, I know its time. When he gets to me, I nod toward the door and head out. Its too loud in there to tell him. To loud for him to understand.

"What's wrong Tris?" he says, concern forcing his eyebrows into a straight line over his eyes.

"Im sorry." I say

"Sorry for what, Tris? You got first!"

"I don't think we should stay together." i say steady looking at the ground. I don't want to see his eyes fill with hate. I don't know if i could bare it.

"What?" he says

"I think i was drawn to you cause you reminded me of home, but this is my home now. I cant have a safety net anymore. I cant lie to you, because I do care for you, but I don't think we can be anything more than friends."

He takes a few steps toward me, until I can feel his warmth. He grabs my chin and forces me to look in his eyes, "Is that really it? Or is it that now that you have first, you don't need me anymore."

I try to shake my head but he's holding my chin too hard for me to move, "No! That's not it. You have to know that that was never it. Please Tobias."

He looks at me with barely contained disgust. He really thinks I used him. I guess I sorta did but I didn't mean to and definitely not in that way. Because being here would mean nothing of I didn't earn my place myself.

He pushes me away from him roughly and shakes his head.

"Don't ever call me that again. Matter of fact don't call me anything ever again. I never would have thought that you were this kind of person."

At this point Im curled into a ball against the wall crying. I knew this would be his assumption but it hurts so bad. Worse than I thought it would. All I can think is that Tobias- Four - hates me.

I don't know how long im on the floor before I feel someone nudge me with their foot.

"What are you doing on the floor Stiff? You do know the party is the the dinning hall right?" his cold voice makes me shiver. Eric is the last person i want to deal with right now. But a part of me deep down is almost glad. That part must be freaking insane because Eric is not the type of person who will understand this.

"Im just not much in the mood for a party I guess." I say while trying to wipe the tears from my eyes. Initiation may be over, but that doesn't mean that showing weakness around Eric will have a different outcome.

"So you in the mood to cry in this hallway instead? I don't think I've ever seen you more pathetic, Stiff. And that's saying something."

With everything happening right now, I guess my emotion aren't completely under my control. Next thing I know, I'm standing and yelling at Eric. All I can hear is the word pathetic on repeat in my head. All I can see is the disgust in Fours eyes.

"You know what Eric?! I didn't ask for your opinion! I don't care what you think, especially since you didn't bother to ask what's wrong! The only thing that seemed to go through your mind was, how can I make the sad girl feel worse! If you have nothing productive or helpful to the situation, then say nothing at all and leave me the fuck alone!"

By the time I finish, I start to realize what am awful mistake I just made. He's a leader and a cruel one at that. There is no way I'm going to get away with yelling at him like that.

Just as I open my mouth to...I don't know apologize? I guess that what i should do, to protect myself from his wrath more than anything.

"That took guts, Stiff. Never would've thought you had the guts to yell at your leader like that. Don't know if I'm impressed or pissed." he responds. His eyes change from cold to amused and my insides do a flip. I'm not sure if its fear but that is probably the safest assumption. I mean, what else could it be?

"I don't care how you feel about it. Your not my instructor anymore and I don't need to fear you as much as before. So if we are done I need to get back to my friends." I force the fear of talking back to Eric down my throat into the depths of my stomach. If I show fear, he will never leave me alone. He will always see me as the little, weak Abnegation girl who doesn't truly belong here.

Soon he has be backed into the wall, his mouth against my ear. I suppress the shiver that threatens to shake my entire being as he whispers in my ear,

"You should still be scared. You have no idea what I'm capable of."

This sends excitement to the core of my belly. This should terrify me, but I want him closer. Closer than having his entire body pressing me into the hard stones of the wall?

No, you're just imagining it. Being upset because of Tob- Four has skewed your judgement.

"Eric, get off me."

I put my hand on his shoulder to push him away, but Im not strong enough.

"How about you make me, Stiff? Cause you're Dauntless now, right? First ranked and on the path to leadership? Can you push me away? Do you really want to?"

Before I can formulate a answer, even in my head, footsteps come crashing down the hallway. Faster than I thought possible, Eric flies away from me. Wearing a confused and slightly dazed look, he stares at me for a long minute then walks away. As he walks away, my head spins as I look at his retreating back.

What the actual fuck just happened?

Did Eric seriously just push me back against the unforgiving stones of the compound? Did I seriously like it? Whatever losing To- Four has done to me is making my head all foggy. It must be because the thought of liking Eric anywhere near me is insane.

Taking a deep breath, I smooth my shirt and walk back into the dining hall. Soon Uriah runs up to me and lifts me into his arms. A laugh breaks and I thank whatever gods there are for giving me friends like Uriah, who make me feel so much better without even trying.

"We made it, Trissy!! We are official Dauntless now!" He yells in my ear.

"I know, Uri! But honest to God, I wont be able to enjoy it if i lose my hearing." I yell back into his ears, making him swiftly place me back on the floor.

"Sorry, Trissy. But I am so happy. We all made it! I told you you had nothing to worry about."

Before I can reply, Christina and Will run up to me. When they reach me, they clasp hands and I silently mourn the loss of Tobias before forcing a smile and hugging them both.

"I am so proud of us. We are Dauntless now!" I say excitedly as we part.

"I knew we would. We are too awesome not to." Christina says, smiling at me.

Even if I feel like my entire world just got flipped upside down, at least I have my friends. Im not alone. Everything will be okay because Im not alone.