The name's Bart. I'm an Enderman, and I work as the bartender at the Mob Saloon down at Y26. It's a nice little place; pretty warm; cozy. It's a place where all we mobs can hang out, talk with friends, play some billiards—without worrying about players. Oh sure, players stumble on our little establishment every once and a while, but they don't stay for long.

There were plenty of regulars there, that'd come once a week, every day, whatever. I knew most of them. There was one zombie, named Dave, that caught my attention though. He didn't come to socialize, or have a drink, or anything. He'd just sit at the bar and play his GameBlock until he left.

One day, I decided to strike up a conversation with him.

"So, Dave, how's it been?"

"Good." he said, not looking up from his game.

His mind was empty. Not very conversational, I thought.

Trying again, I said, "What do you like to do?"

"This," he nodded towards the game.

No kidding… "Anything else?"

Dave sighed with frustration and paused the game. "What's your problem?"

"Nothing," I put my hands up defensively, "I'm just trying to get to know you. Since you've started coming here, I don't think I've spoken more than ten words to you."

He thought a moment. "Hmmm, I guess you're right."

I stood there, watching him.

After a moment, he spoke again, "I don't really do too much. I'm just an ordinary zombie trying to survive."

"And get a high score on that game," I remarked.

Dave chuckled, "Yeah."

We fell silent.

"So, uh…What's your name?" he asked.

"Bart," I answered.

"So, Bart, what do you like to do? I mean, besides tending the saloon."

I glanced around the room, then back at him.

Smiling, I said, "How about I show you?"

"Bart, what are we doing?" Dave asked.

"You'll see," I said.

"That's what you said last time, and the time before that. Why are we going to that castle? Players live there!"

"It's fine. I've done this before. You just get in and get out."

"But why?"

I stopped walking and turned to face him. "There's a diamond block on display in there."

His eyes widened. "A whole diamond block? Really?"

I nodded.

"I see now," he said, a grin coming to his face, "And we're gonna take it!"

"Exactly."

"Race ya for it!" He ran off towards the castle.

"Hey! Wait!"

I teleported to a tree, then the walkway leading up to the castle. There were two guards standing at the entrance. Only barely. One was asleep, and the other one had other things on his mind.

This'll be easy. I thought.

I teleported my way over, and quickly passed the guards. I wonder how Dave will do it?

I walked past what appeared to be some sort of auction and hid in some tall grass as another guard walked past.

Then I entered the inner chamber. There sat the diamond block in all its shining, sparkling glory. And Dave, standing right next to it.

I froze. "How—?"

He grinned and picked it up. "That's for me to know, and you to never know," he said.

"Isn't it, 'for me to know and you to—'?" Suddenly an alarm went off. A line of redstone trailed from the block's pedestal.

"Great," I said, "this one had an alarm!"

"Run!" Dave cried, sprinting away. I followed closely after him.

We ran down one hallway and turned onto another. "Is this your shortcut?" I asked him.

"Yep! Let's go!" he called back.

Before we had time to say anything else, four player guards jumped in front of us. We turned around, only to find that four more had appeared behind us. We were completely surrounded.

"Now what?" Dave whispered.

"Watch out," one guard said, "Endermen can get really mean if you make them angry." They began to close in on us.

"Bart?" Dave hissed.

I looked at the eight guards. Then at Dave. I put my hand in his head and whispered, "Take a deep breath."

He looked at me, questions racing through his mind, as the world faded around us.

I had been here hundreds of times—the Ender Dimension. Not to be confused with The End, which is composed of blocks just like the Overworld, the Ender Dimension is where we Endermen go between teleporting out of the world and back into it. The time it takes to get in and out again is very small, but it feels a bit longer than that. You don't have a physical form there, so it can sometimes feel a little weird when you come back. I've gotten used to it, but Dave was not.

We reappeared right outside the castle walls, and Dave collapsed on the ground, gasping for breath. He looked up at me.

"What was that?"

"We teleported."

"I didn't know Endermen could transfer it to other mobs!"

"Yeah, most people don't. I discovered it by accident." Then I heard a shout inside the walls. "We'd better get out of here before those players think to check outside."

"Walking?" Dave asked

"Yes."

Back at the Saloon, Dave volunteered to show me his billiards skills. Apparently, he doesn't just play his GameBlock all day. I got one of my buddies as a teammate, and another zombie joined Dave.

The game was going well until Dave's turn came. He leaned over the table, bringing the cue ball to eye level. He put the stick up to it and wiggled it back and forth. Back and forth. He squinted and moved it up and down. Then he stepped to the left, considering a different angle. He wiggled the stick. Up, down, left, right. Moving back to his original position, he carefully lined the stick up with the ball, and tapped it.

I don't mean he hit it softly, I mean he tapped it. The cue ball literally moved an inch. Dave groaned. He thought that shot would have been perfect.

Finally, it's my turn, I thought, sizing up the position of the balls.

I heard a faint rumbling sound overhead. We looked up, and suddenly a player fell through the roof and landed on Dave. He stood up and looked at us, eyes wide, then quickly ran up to a wall and dug his way out.

I rolled my eyes and filled the two holes with stone. And that's why you never dig straight down.

Turning back to the game, I said to Dave, "I don't really feel like playing anymore." The other Enderman and zombie nodded their assent and left quickly.

"Awww," Dave replied, "I was about to do my special move!"

"Maybe next time," I said, glancing at the clock.

Dave followed my gaze.

"Oh my goodness!" he cried, "It's so late! I need to get home!"

"That's fine, Dave," I said.

He turned and ran to the door.

"Thanks, Bart, I had fun." He sped out.

You're welcome.

I closed up the Saloon about an hour later. As I locked the door, I wondered what we'd do next.