Chapter 13: 'I'm just a poor old researcher'

Somewhere, someplace, a window had just broken.

Xander looked up from the incredibly dull and boring book he was reading, as that thought hurtled into his head like a large train, and frowned.

He didn't actually know why he'd just thought that, but it seemed important somehow. Or maybe that was just because he was dying from a rare strain of brokenwindow-worryitus, brought about by this book. Or paralytic boredom. Or both.

He shut it with a loud 'smop' and sat back in his chair, sighing loudly.

Buffy looked up.

"Urdu" He said to her questioning gaze.

"What?" She asked.

"Urdu. That's the language I'm pretending I can read. This is pointless"

"And here we were just thinking you were pretending to read" Anya said, looking up from the large scroll-y thing she was studying.

Xander ignored her.

"Urdu?" Giles took off his glasses and stood to look over Xander's shoulder. "I, I wasn't aware we had any texts in Urdu"

Xander held up his hands. "Well, it's written in something wonky. I'm saying Urdu"

Giles frowned, and picked up the book for a closer look.

"Oh no, no, It's not Urdu"

"Well, there you go. But it doesn't mean I can read it"

"I'm not sure what it is. In fact, I, I'm not even sure what book this is. Where did you find it?"

Xander shrugged. "On the table, with the other boring books"

Buffy looked at the precariously leaning pile. "And there are so many of them" She said "Lucky us".

"C'mon Buff, this is what makes Slaying so fun!"

She looked at him. "No part of Slaying is fun"

Dawn stopped searching the Internet to join the conversation.

"I think this bit's fun" She had a big grin on her face, as she searched the 'Demons Demons Demons' website for information.

"You're a geek honey" Buffy said fondly. Dawn's outraged look caused her to add.

"A very trendy… cool…popular geek"

"Yeah" Xander agreed. "You're just like your sister was"

"Was?" Buffy glowered at him

"Is. Just like you sister is"

Dawn's face filled with disbelief. She looked Buffy up and down, then looked worried. Buffy saw that look. The two sisters scowled at him.

"I'm not like her" They both said simultaneously.

"Giles, the Urdu?" He said quickly, before he got beaten up.

"It's not Urdu Xander" Giles scanned the pages of the book hastily. "It appears to be some demon script"

"Demon" Xander nodded. "Interesting"

The glares that were burning into his chest started to cause his shirt to smoulder.

"Do we know what demon?"

"Xander, I can't decipher something like this in a couple of minutes"

"No, no" He glanced quickly at Dawn and Buffy. Yup, they were still glowering. Smoke ribboned from the 4 eye-shaped holes in his shirt. He turned back to Giles. "But try, yeah?"

From the other end of the table, Anya smirked.

"No, it appears to be the religious texts of a demon cult actually" The Ex-Watcher continued. "Oh, good lord!"

"There he goes again" Buffy commented. "That famous Gilesian phrase"

"We should put on his tombstone" Anya offered helpfully. "After he's dead, obviously. I've heard it's what you do to show affection"

"Thank you Anya" Giles said distractedly.

"Plus you do say it a lot"

 "As I was saying…"

"Oh good lord" Dawn said innocently.

"Yes, quite. Well, I believe this book" Giles put his glasses back on. "I believe this book to be the…the main religious text of The MoW demon"

"The MoW demon? You mean the demon that stole the orb?"

"Yes, actually"

"Well that's convenient" Buffy said. She tossed the book in her lap gratefully onto the table. "Guess no more researching for us then"

"Thank god!" Dawn said, shutting the lid of the laptop. "I was getting so bored"

"Well, no, not quite yet. I, I still have some checks to do. And there's a lot of text to translate" Giles wandered from the table to sit in the armchair, muttering to himself. "Absolutely fascinating…Uncial script from the underworld…Incredibly well preserved"

Xander watched him go. As soon as Giles sat down he said:

"Well, guess I got us out of research duty"

Dawn yawned. "And I for one say thank you very much" She told him.

"It's late" Buffy said, looking at her watch. "And as you have school in the morning…" The Slayer left the sentence hanging.

"What?" Dawn was outraged. "I can't go to school – I have to help save the world!"

"And you want me to put that in a note to your teacher?"

"No! But I can help you guys, can't I?"

Buffy pursed her lips.

"Can't I?"

"Dawn - " Buffy began.

"Actually, I can't go to bed. No functioning bedroom, remember?" 

"You can sleep in my room. I'll sleep in mom's old room"

Dawn sighed.

"You may as well go Dawnie, I don't think we're going to be killing demons tonight" Xander said with a small smile.

"And tomorrow?"

A glare from Buffy dared him to contradict her. Xander remembered the smouldering shirt incident.

"Tomorrow, we, uh -"

"Tomorrow we're going to save the world" Anya said, matter of factly. "But you can't go. You have to study and become successful in the arts of spelling and pot-making"

Buffy smiled slyly. "You heard Anya". Dawn rolled her eyes, and got to her feet.

"Ok. Ok. I'm going. See me go. Going to bed, I am" She intoned.

"Dawn, your feet aren't actually moving" Buffy informed her. "Try harder"

"God! I have size seven feet, remember! This takes time!"

Eventually, Dawn stomped out the room and up the stairs.

Anya also stood up, and went over to the Watcher who was engrossed in the 'exciting' book, muttering in a foreign language to himself.

"Giles?"

"Hmm" He said, without looking up.

"I'd like to go to your bedroom now"

"What?!" Giles hadn't had a proposition like that in two years.

"My feet hurt, my hair's gooey, and I need my beauty sleep when I know I'm averting an apocalypse the next day"

Giles shut the book, and sat up. He looked incredibly uncomfortable.

"She's right you know" Buffy called out. "A girl's really getting low when she fights an apocalypse without freshly washed hair"

Giles took off his glasses, and studied the book in front of him.

"So?" Anya prodded "Why aren't we going? I've given you enough reasons, we should be going by now. It's very impolite to keep your house guest waiting"

"Anya – I have work to do. We have to research the demons, find their weak spot"

"I thought we'd finished researching?" Buffy joined in. She prodded at the towering pile of books on the table. "I'm tired of these dusty volumes and heavy tomes" The aforementioned dusty volumes wobbled precariously, before toppling all over Xander.

"Sorry!" Buffy yelled.

"I know you all want me to read more, but that doesn't mean you have to throw the books at me" Xander yelled back.

Giles rolled his eyes at the slapstick comedy unraveling behind him. In front of him, Anya hovered like a puppy waiting to go for a walk. Her large eyes looked at him, her lips in a small pout. From the table came laughs and shouts, and generally too much noise for this time on an evening. Giles stood up, frustrated.

"Ok. Anya, I'm now going home. I can't…I can't exactly work here anyway" He glanced at Xander, who was cradling about twenty heavy books in his lap, and at Buffy who was trying to dig him out from beneath them.

"Very dusty volumes" He heard Xander cough.

"Good. I want to go home with you" Anya told Giles. "Because my home is now your home, at the moment"

"I am aware of that Anya"

"Good" She hugged him tightly, and Giles tentatively hugged back. "Because if your home wasn't my home, I wouldn't have anywhere to live"

"Yes"

"Plus you'd only have Herbert for company"

The Canary! Giles remembered that he'd remembered he'd forgotten to feed it and kicked himself.

"Yes, uh, quite. Buffy?" He said, Anya pulling away. She looked at him, having more or less dug Xander free from the heavy tomes. "I'm…we're going. Ring me if anything unusual happens"

"You know me Giles. Unusual always results in Giles ringage"

"Good"

The four said their goodbyes, and Xander and Buffy were left alone in the living room. It was late, gone midnight, and Buffy suddenly felt very tired. After she watched Giles and Anya get into Giles' car and drive away, she shut the door and slid the lock across it. The house seemed suddenly empty and quieter.

Xander brushed the dust from his arms and the front of his shirt.

"Giles should take better care of his books" He complained.

"I shouldn't have thrown them at you"

"Nah, it's ok" Xander smiled slightly. "I've had worse things thrown at me. Like swords, fangs, severed heads. And, worst of all, bills. Anya always made me deal with them. She couldn't stand the thought that she'd have to give money away"

Buffy sighed heavily, and collapsed on the sofa. "God…don't talk about bills. Not with an apocalypse coming up"

"Hey, we don't know that the world's ending tomorrow"

"Don't we?" Buffy rubbed her eyes and then sat up to look at Xander. "If it's not tomorrow, then it's the day after. And that's only this time. After we've destroyed the orb, stopped the monsters – there's just going to be another apocalypse caused by something else"

"Around mid May, I think you'll find"

"What?"

"Nothing" Xander stood, then came and sat down next to Buffy. "Don't get so down about it" He told her " You're Buffy. I have faith that you'll stop the demons, destroy the orb-"

"By singing" Buffy winced.

"By singing, yes, which may be unpleasant and rather ridiculous, but you'll do it. And then we can all go to the Bronze and party"

"Good to know you'll be there, backing me up"

"Hey" Xander looked at her seriously. "I will be. We will be. You might regret it when you hear me sing, however, but…"

Buffy took his hand.

"Thanks. A lot. "

Xander grinned, embarrassed. "Just doing the good ol' Xander pep-talk"

Buffy paused, then let go of his hand. "Y'know, I think it worked. Suddenly everything's shiny and sparkling, like tinsel"

"Like what?"

"I've been talking to Giles"

"Oh"

The two sat on the sofa, staring at the carpet. A cloud of dust was still rising from the disturbed books and drifting like a rain cloud that had gone on vacation and didn't quite know what to do next. In the kitchen the clock on the cooker ticked loudly.

"I better go - "

"Xander - " The two said in unison. Xander laughed.

"What?" He asked.

Buffy smiled. "I'm going to bed" She told him "But you can stay and sleep on the couch if you want, as it's so late. You're probably tired, and if we have to get up early you'd have to drive so, if you want, to sleep, like I said…" Buffy trailed off.

"Great. Nothing I like better than the Summers' lumpy couch" Xander grinned. "That'd be great. Thanks"

"Ok, I'll get you some stuff"

"Thank you"

There was a moment as neither of them moved.

"Huh" Buffy muttered quietly. Before Xander asked her to elaborate, Buffy went upstairs to try and find some pillows.