Chapter 16:  My Plan to Your Plan.

"Buffy. Buffy, wake up!" Xander's frantic whispers pierced the wonderful fog of sleep and the Slayer half opened her eyes. "You have to wake up"

"I'm not in charge of these things" She murmured.

"No, no, Buff – you've got to wake up!"

Sighing, the Slayer opened her eyes properly. Her room was still dark which meant…

"What time is it?" She groaned.

"Four-thirty" He paused.

"I'm hoping you're going to add 'in the afternoon' to that sentence"

Xander's worried gaze told her otherwise, and Buffy sat up.

"What is it?"

"Demons. Orbs. Taxes"

"I'll get dressed"

 * * * * * * *

"America is in shock at the drastic and extortionate rise in taxes which occurred earlier this morning. The President says he "has no idea how it happened and that perhaps the mainframe computers got a slug in their system". Financers say that the President's lack of motivation to restore tax levels to what they previously were could have dire consequences on the world's economy.

In other news, two secret commandos have gone missing in Sunnydale woods. Their chinnook is also unaccounted for…."

Xander muted the TV off, a despondant look on his face.

"This isn't good" He said softly. His hair was ruffled from lying on the sofa, and it stuck up at one side, in a way that was partly cute, partly annoying. He was wearing the clothes he had worn all day; though Buffy suspected he'd taken his shirt off to sleep - the buttons were done up all wonky.

"The Slugs?"

He grinned wryly. "Them too. I should probably phone Giles"

Buffy stretched her arms above her head. "I wish demons would keep sociable hours" She paused. "Is Dawnie awake"

Stood, phone in hand, Xander shook his head. "I didn't want to wake any one"

"Except me"

Xander just raised an eyebrow and grinned. Then someone obviously picked up the phone at the other end, for Xander turned away and started speaking.

Buffy ran her fingers distractedly through her hair. More apocalypses, more demons, more terror…and, oh my god, was that her roots showing?

Buffy mentally kicked herself. She was not that shallow. She was not turning into Cordelia.

"Ok, bye" Xander put the phone down. "They'll be right over. Apparently Ethan's turned up…"

"Ethan Rayne?" Buffy's eyes widened. "What's he doing here?"

"Apparently ensuring we don't lose"

"That's kind of him"

"That's what I said. Though Anya is keeping him at bay with a plant-stand"

Buffy raised her eyebrows.

Giles turned up ten minutes later, Anya leading a handcuffed Ethan behind them. Buffy instructed that he be fastened to the cellar door, ignoring the wink-wink that he gave her, and restraining herself from kicking him in the shins.

The meeting was quick and to the point. They needed to find the MoW demons, get the orb and sing to it. As quickly as possible.  Things were going bad. Taxes had shot up. Soon the dead would be rising from their graves and time would be going wonky. Soon. Assuming of course, that time stayed chronological and was, in essence, timely. Otherwise, it could've happened yesterday, and then where would they be.

"But where do we start?" Xander asked.

"I don't know"

Giles paced across the room, Anya gnawed her lip thoughtfully, Buffy got up, paced with Giles, then kicked Ethan in the shins (after he made a comment about her ass. Or lack of one. Or something.) and eventually turned to the others, completely frustrated.

"We have no idea where they are!" She exclaimed. "They could be in some far distant place by now. Calcutta. Poland… Texas."

"Yeah, doing their magical orb dance" Xander added. Then he stood up. "She's right Giles.  We have no idea where they'll be"

"They're flying a helicopter"

"Anya, we're trying to be serious"

"So am I" The ex-ex (ex?) vengeance demon replied. "Look at the TV"

The other three turned, to see on their screens a badly filmed shot of a Chinnook, wobbling its way across the sky. The cameramen zoomed in, and, for a moment a glimpse of some shaggy distinctly inhuman heads were visible. Then the camera wobbled some more, and, in its own excitement, turned itself off. Xander hastily turned the volume up, whilst the other three looked at each other.

"…was spotted after reportedly landing in SunnyDale woods. The pilots are not thought to be the original pilots, but hijackers, possibly from Russia. It is thought that the Army Helicopter was working on an observatory mission, though details have yet to be released, and that the hijackers, once they had hijacked the vehiclce, are now, literally 'joy-riding'. The last sighting was of a clumsy landing in the Northern woods. Police are closing in on the vehicle, though they cannot be sure of its exact location. If you have any information please contact Sunnydale police on …"

Xander turned the volume back down as the woman finished speaking.

"Sunnydale woods" He commented.

"Yup. Where the trees live" Buffy moved over to the weapons chest. "We should go slay"

"What happened to the necessity of lovely singing?" Anya questioned. Buffy handed her a sword.

"This is the back-up plan"

"Sunnydale woods…" Xander repeated. Giles grabbed a weapon, weighting it in the palms of his hands. Buffy swung a crossbow onto her shoulder, grabbed an axe and shoved a couple of stakes in her pocket. Ethan muttered a comment about how he'd love to slide down there, which earned him a glower and another bruised shin.

Giles carefully checked the handcuffs were still locked, then kicked a stool towards the guy's ass.

"Sit there. Don't move. And don't try to run away"

"Ripper…" He drawled smoothly "Would I?"

Giles gave him a look.

"If you so dare as look at my sister, I will kill you" Buffy added, whispering it close in his ear. The bolt in the crossbow loomed dangerously close to Ethan's eye, and he half-squinted and pulled back.

"I've got it"

"He's secure Buffy. Plus, he knows that if you don't kill him, I will"

"I'll leave Dawn a note. She's gonna hate me"

"Sunnydale woods" Xander muttered to himself.

"Can we go slay these demons yet?" Anya said. She twirled the sword in her hands. "I'm feeling anxious and unnerved, and I dread to think of the tax I'm paying as a self-employed Magic box owner"

Cue raised eyebrow, questioning glance

"…partner" She amended.

Buffy nodded. "Let's go"

The Slayer placed the other sword into Xander's hands.

"Sunnydale woods…" He said again.

"You ok?" She asked.

He shrugged. "Least it's not the old factory, that's something right?"

"Yeah"

"I hate that place"

"You've said"

"The old factory?" Anya chimed in. "Oh, the acoustics in there would be so much better…"

Giles coughed pointedly. Ethan snickered.

"Apocalypse?"

"Right" They affirmed.

Buffy led the way.