On the island of Tortuga, somewhere around the murky corridors of the pirate haven, our little adventure began. The sun had just perched itself back in its nest. Compared to mornings, the island's activities were more raucous and sex-oriented at night. The environment started to smell like human genitalia and gonorrea. Prostitution dens started to open, tempting the pent up pirates to enter.
Captain Jack Sparrow was en route to the brothel, which was also his home, all charming, well-groomed, and gay? He did have a fruity ass walk cycle. Piss drunk or not, he always has his pillowy ass out whenever he walks. Fruit flies swarmed his rump like apple pie on a window that had been left open. A spoiled pie, because Jack is still unwiped ten days after setting sail and has ran out of toilet paper. Even the local market got cleared out from fly infestation just to follow Jack's pungent apple cheeks. Sparrow, however, had little interest in flies. He is focused on a different objective; A female.
"Ahoy wench, Jacky's here to satisfy thee!" Sparrow pushed the brothel room door with indignant authority. Inside the room, on the bed, was Nami, the ginger navigator from the Straw Hat Pirates, and she's wearing a one piece bikini.
"Mmm, my little sparrow's going to sing to me his moans?" teased Nami Japanesely.
Jack drunkenly undressed as he approached his attractive partner. "You betcha, Girl... I'm gonna conquer that red line before your captain does... If you know what I mean"
"Fuck yeah... please do, Jack, please do!"
"Oh! Do you I will alright!" Jack was now only donning his tattered, worn-out boxers.
Nami could make out the wriggling of the bulging bolster concealed behind the fabric. She got aroused superlatively more, summoning Jack with a spread of her legs. She has an untamed shrub all over her divinely feminine crotch region; for 1700s fashion standards, Nami was the wooly bomb. The breeze pouring in through the window swept smoothly past the moist, dew-covered bush, making it dance gracefully like the grassy plains of Europe.
Jack Sparrow was eager to make a nest out of that soppy lady jungle. He drooled a bunch since he was unable to control his lust and was ready for full sail at whore's end.
Jack hectically rips off his trousers and displayed, to Nami, his disappointing three inch flaccidity.
"Uhh... That's it?" The navigator woman asked with a slightly dissatisfied expression. The penis was like Jack's compass, which was nothing more than a useless ornament, as the needle never pointed north. "I hope that's only a teaser and not the full trailer! I'm not like them other girls whose spoilt or anything but, Come on! No woman would let this one slide... in"
Jack, the all too sassy pirate, showed no signs of embarrassment, instead replied with, "It's not about the size, it's about the usage of the sausage"
The privateer then unannouncedly wedged his cock into Nami's life-giving hole, thrusting rapidly right after his dickhead went in. But as he did, his soft shaft only kept bending instead of actually pushing deeper through. He desperately forces it in only for his penis to curve 'till his balls touches his tip.
"Fuck me, not again" Sparrow whispered to himself. He struggled to get it up hard and pointy. From the looks of it, he was failing. The effort just led him to work up a sweat, which turned the dried poop on his asshole liquid again.
Thirty seconds in, the constant tip rubbing brought Jack to his pathetic climax. He "pulled out" screaming, "I've arrived! Nami! Provide me your mouth!"
The orgasmic sea thief jerked his doughy manhood in front of his lover's open jaw. Then he nuts, but sadly it was an embarrassment of a nut. There was hardly even an arch to it. Jack's thick sperm simply trickled down his meat like tree amber instead of actually shooting out, leaving the close-eyed woman still waiting for the prize with her tongue hanging out like a slut.
"If you're waiting for the opportune moment, that was it..." remarked Sparrow as he tucked his cock back.
As to be expected, Nami obviously won't fancy that emasculated shit. She already makes too little money working as a sex worker, and now she's getting fucked with Jack's minimum wage too. "What was that! You call that a cumshot? First you made me look like I have two clits with that soggy wiener of yours, now you can't even wet my tits, let alone my mouth!"
Nonchalant, Jack scraped cum running down his dick and gave her what she wants, wiping it around Nami's gigantic chest spheres.
"There you go..." awkwardly smiled Jack with cavities that needed tending. Music whenever Jack does something funny in the Pirates films plays in the background.
"Really, Jack, really?!" Nami received growing anger, "I can't believe a hottie like me fell in love with a dirty, scummy, limp-dicked pirate!"
"And let him stole your virginity, don't forget that one" added the pirate his recent act of piracy.
"I wouldn't call that sex! Nobody does!" Nami pulled her hair out of spite. "Stop by a pharmacy for a change and buy some damn tablets"
"How, slag!? I'm broke" Jack swaying his hip and wagging a finger sassily. "I'm in debt... Johnny Debt"
"Christ! This is what you get when you hook up with a man whose financial earnings relies on passing merchant ships!—which, surprise, surprise! Is as rare as you getting a stiffy"
"Bitch! You don't have to go personal on me, I'm doing my best!" retorted Jack, feeling money shamed.
The fight seemed to go all over the place without a visible hint of closure. Nami has no choice but to stop it. Clearly her mate was having problems with his erections, he just won't admit it.
"Look, Jack, I get it, you're old... Senile, basically halfway from licking Death's necro balls" she exhaled a sigh, "That's why I'm giving you one last chance"
Nami fished something out of her 18th century Gucci purse. It was a map. Once she let Jack see it, he immediately knew where it'll lead to.
"A map to the fountain of youth! Ponce de Leon's treasure!" wowed the Sparrow, "How did you managed-"
"I strangled Ponce de Leon's seven year old schizo granddaughter to get it!" answered Nami; she meant the explorer, Dora. She then further instructed Jack to find the fountain so he may reawaken his youthful sex drive.
"Shit's sounds like a lotta work!" reconsidered Jack, "I mean I just landed here"
Pissed, Nami climbed onto Jack's bed and squatted, "Do it or I'll drop one piece of amberoid turd"
"Oh Bugger! Not again!" Jack ran outside with the map, leaving his girl devoid of cervical pleasure.
"And don't come back until you have a cock that can fuck a placenta out my alabaster snatch!"