Part Three
"Oooh, the tree fell down. Again." Miss Misao fumed with her fists clenched.
Indeed it had. Right onto the refreshment table.
"No." Sanosuke moaned staring at the devastation of the kegs of beer and other various beverages leaking and busted. They pooled on the hard wood floor making the air a sickly sweet cloud and the ground slick beneath.
"At least the cider was saved." Miss Kaoru remarked.
Saitoh and Tokio walked in. A large clump of snow was sticking to the Wolf's forehead. I guess Master couldn't resist one last crack at him. Lobo whined and paced the doorway, but thank the owner of the bar he wasn't allowed in! Not since the last bar fight.
"Cider." Sano whined with contempt, "That's no good. I want to get trashed! Apples just don't do it."
'Baby. He should do some bootlegging.' But that would require work, precision, and patience, 'Good point.'
While Miss Misao and Miss Kaoru were cleaning up the sopping mess, which I did not offer to help with, whoever said I was a slow learner? Master, but he doesn't count. He's got a Superiority Complex, never take what he says about your faults seriously. It only encourages his misbehavior. Great, now I sound like his mother. I pity the poor woman, honestly I do.
"What happened to you?" Yumi squealed and all heads turned to behold Kamatari in all his glory. To cover his bald head he had acquired a wig. Now, where he got a wig on such short notice, when all the stores were closed I don't know. Then again, considering the way it looked maybe he stole a broom.
The hair was a magnificent color of royal purple with lighter streaks running through it. An eggplant gone furry! It didn't help that the hair was so tightly curled he looked like a shaggy mountain goat with a color not found in nature.
Kamatari, looking rather annoyed for once and not at all happy, snapped, "I thought I'd try a new look. After all, staying the same year after year must get awful boring. Just wait until you start sagging."
Yumi opened her mouth and snapped in shut in a snit. She glared then pronounced, "I don't think it matters much when your taste is so bad that babies cry in fear and dogs run away."
"You look like an electrocuted sheep." Yahiko put in his unwelcome opinion cheekily. Sano cocked his head and disagreed, "More like Shirely Temple dropped in a vat of dye."
Kamatari wasn't paying any attention to the peanut gallery. He had stalked up in front of Yumi with some serious hostile intent. I wondered if it would come to blows. Would they bitch slap or punch? Or maybe do that sissy hand slapping thing.
'Like you?' I do not!
Kamatari's hand shot out and there was a ripping sound. Yumi gasped in outrage and surprise. Soujirou's face registered surprise since he and Chou were seated in their usual place and facing her. All the rest of us saw was the back. That's okay, I've a good imagination.
"Woah, cover 'em up gal or ya might have more business tonigh' than ya can handle." Chou whistled and Soujirou blushed. He discreetly tossed Yumi one of the bar rags and averted his eyes.
Sano grinned and suggested that she turn around. Yahiko looked on with curiosity, I'm not sure if he realized what exactly had happened. I am sure, however, that he would probably be as perverted as his brother if she turned around. Saitoh looked nonplused about the whole thing and Father Aoshi was stoic leaning against a wall.
'They need lives.' Battousai growled. I rolled my eyes and informed him that not everyone on this Earth was sexually driven. I half expected him to make some witty quip about me, but he was looking like he actually considered my words. 'You suck. No wonder you've not gotten anywhere with Sticks 'n' Bones, with an attitude like that.'
A heavy hand cuff me from behind. Instinctively my hand flew to the sore spot while the other went for my gun.
"Stupid student, I thought you liked your horse girl. Ogling at other women will win you no points."
"This unworthy one was not 'ogling'." I retorted, indignant.
Yumi fled upstairs and Kamatari seated himself down next to Chou not looking sorry in the slightest.
To escape Master, I slid over towards the three in time to catch a strange bit of conversation.
"I think ya over did it." Chou remarked, sloshing around his apple cider.
Kamatari made a face and replied flippantly, "It's not anything she hasn't tried to do to me before. She'll get over it."
"You hope."
"I don't know. Miss Yumi looked awfully mad and embarrassed." Soujirou commented.
Kamatari's nose crinkled and he said, "I'll go apologize later then. It wouldn't look right if I bailed on the party now."
Apologize? I thought they hated each other. Admittedly it was harsh, what he did, but even so. Before I could consider that further Miss Kaoru called me over. I did my best to look innocent. Like I hadn't just been listening in on a conversation.
Now if I had actually been paying attention to the right people I would have known that my Master had other plans for livening up his evening.
"A wager you say. What kind?" Hiko asked, sipping from his private stock of alcohol. He was standing in an out of the way corner, pretending to try to blend into the background. "I know you have eyes for my stupid student."
"Do I now?" Megumi purred. "I bet you that you wouldn't part with that alcohol for anything."
"Hmm, anything you say? I don't think that's a bet, but you have my attention. I have a better one. I bet you couldn't get my stupid student away from his crush, pony girl."
"Stakes?"
"One bottle of my best brandy verse you doing any one thing I ask."
Megumi pretended to consider it for a moment before giving a sly smile, "Those hardly seem fair, but since I don't intend to lose, why not."
I, on the other hand, was having the time of my life. Okay, not really.
'This is humiliating, I don't know you.' You share my body, I pointed out.
"He looks so cute." Miss Misao remarked.
'Cute?' Battousai raised an eyebrow. He was taking it well.
Miss Kaoru stiffened and looked past me, "What do you want?"
"Is that any way to treat someone? Where's your holiday spirit, Christmas generosity?" I braced myself for the attack that generally followed Miss Megumi's opening statement. Instead she seated herself by Miss Kaoru.
"I'm sorry." Miss Kaoru didn't look very sorry. In fact, she looked very surly and as wary as a cat in the dog pound.
"How would you like to see Hiko suffer a bit?"
Miss Kaoru and Saitoh suddenly looked like a pair of attentive wolf hounds waiting to be loosed on their prey. Now, I know that Master hadn't made all that great an impression, but really. No need to start a war here. Besides, Master was invincible, I doubt Miss Megumi or anyone else could actually catch him off guard.
'Then how did I burn down his house?' You're special.
"What do you need?"
"Kenshin of course."
"Wait-." Miss Kaoru started to protest, but Saitoh cut her off, "I doubt it will harm him. I want to see this."
Now wait a moment. Didn't I get a say in this? Apparently not. Suddenly I was soaring through the air like a plucked chicken before performing an emergency landing into a wall.
Slightly dazed and very confused I was suddenly swept into a warm embrace.
"Are you okay Sir Ken?" Miss Megumi steadied me and I leaned against her not trusting my warped sense of balance.
I vaguely heard Miss Kaoru shriek something about mistletoe and Saitoh say something about tradition.
Then there was the face sucking.
'Prude. You wouldn't know face sucking from snowblowing.'
Just kissing then.
'Damn good kissing. You sure you won't reconsider?' I was kind of too busy to reply.
"She slipped in some tongue!" Miss Misao announced in a scandalized voice.
"Eww, I thought Kenshin liked Ugly!" Yahiko declared, no doubt leaning in closer.
"And that would be a French kiss." Saitoh remarked.
"Holy shit. Round two!" Sano whooped.
I tried to pull back. I couldn't hear the voice I wanted to hear. No doubt she was furious and seething. But I had to explain that I didn't want it. I was so distraught that Battousai flipped his cage open and I didn't care. Of course I whipped my head back around when he started getting a bit too touchy-feely there.
Miss Megumi let go and wandered off towards the cider. She took a drink and looked at Master. His ebony eyes narrowed drastically and he ungracefully plopped a bottle of some sort of alcohol in her hand. She murmured something and he looked vaguely pissed.
"How'd you do it man?" Sano asked, helping me to a stool. I looked at him, "Where's Miss Kaoru?"
He, of course, ignored me to pursue his own agenda. He sauntered up to Miss Megumi, "Can I get a kiss?"
A smile played around her lips and she replied, "I rather kiss Father Aoshi."
"So that's a no?" Sano replied, incorrigible as ever.
Meanwhile, I had gone off in search of Miss Kaoru. I hadn't meant to do anything wrong or to hurt her feelings.
'You did absolutely nothing wrong and she's too sensitive. It's not like she owns you or anything.' Battousai reassured me. He's such a compassionate and understanding soul.
You know those shoulder angels? The ones that tell you right from wrong and advise you in the correct course of action? He must have been born on the wrong side, because he was an anti-angel.
'Devil you mean.'
I spotted Miss Kaoru over by Chou, Kamatari, and Soujirou. She was talking to the young man with an upset look and I felt a twinge of guilt. I needed to make this right.
'Your funeral.'
"Are you alright Miss Kamiya? That wasn't very polite of Mister Himura or Miss Takani." I halted, wondering what would happen next. Now, I may be a bit dense and a little slow on the uptake but there was no doubt in my mind that they were flirting.
'My my, someone's a bit green now. What's Smiley going to do? Woe her with talk of jersey heifers and butter cream.'
They were chatting rather animatedly now and Miss Kaoru laughed at something he said. She sniffled and leaned in for what I assume was originally intended as a friendly hug.
Was it just me, or did it turn into something a bit more personal?
Yumi returned, having composed herself and changed her clothing. She shot a poisoned look at Kamatari before sweeping the room. Her eyes locked on the two and she commented on what everyone was thinking. Blunt, honest. Those are two words that should never be strung together.
"I go upstairs for ten minutes and I come back down to this? Get a room already."
Either they didn't hear her comment or were completely disregarding. I knew Miss Kaoru could be stubborn, but really! Was this necessary?
'She's just in a tiff. Let her get it out of her system.' Battousai advised. I glared. For once he wasn't the cause of my discomfort, but he certainly wasn't making it easier either.
"Looks like the boy's gonna get some tonigh'!" Chou commented with a lecherous grin all over his face.
By now Miss Kaoru was all but sitting in Soujirou's lap. If he was uncomfortable he didn't show it. That ever-present smile was the same.
Abruptly she seemed to make up her mind. She grabbed Soujirou's face and sucked face. And I mean it.
'Woah, I didn't know you could do things like that!'
But... why?
'An eye for an eye, a kiss for a kiss. She's playing payback. Don't take it personally.'
"Shit, everyone's getting kissed but me." Sano grumbled and Yahiko made a noise before asking, "Would you want to kiss Ugly? Besides, everyone thinks you like guys."
The young man considered that for a moment before admitting, "I'm not gay! You're right, that would be too much like kissing my little sister. But I wouldn't mind if Megumi or Misao..."
Before Yahiko could screech out his accidental slip Sano pounded his head downwards effectively cutting off the word flow. Yahiko growled and started to gnaw on his head, everything else forgotten.
"Pay up." I heard Megumi say from behind me and someone that sounded like Master grumbling about losing again. And to a woman no less.
Miss Misao staggered past admonishing Sano and Yahiko, "No fighting, no biting."
She tripped over her own feet and Sano caught her out of reflex. He stared down, unsure what to do with her. His eyes dared around looking for Father Aoshi, but the priest was true to form. Never around when you needed him.
"My hero." Miss Misao giggled and swayed.
"Then again..." Yahiko started devilishly. Apparently life with Sanosuke was hardly what one would call sheltered. Sano smacked him again, "Leave her alone, she's drunk."
"How do you figure?"
"Listen, I've been drunk enough to recognize it okay? The real question is where did she find the liquor?"
I wasn't really in the social mood or I would have heard and had a very good idea what happened. As it was Missus Tokio beat me to it.
She took a sip of the cider and her grey eyes narrowed. She glared at Hiko, who was sprawled neatly in one corner. He looked at her and smirked that all-knowing smirk.
"Seijuro, you have done some despicable things before and I will make no mention of the bets you have been running at other people's expense, but spiking the cider?" Missus Tokio not quite snarled. She was not a happy camper. "And I assume this was all to get at Hajime. When will you two just grow up and get over it?"
Master didn't seem to be bothered at all, but Saitoh had prowled out behind his wife. I hadn't seen him actually drink any of the cider, but I wasn't really paying all that much mind to him. I knew that he had the potential to be very violent when under the influence of alcohol. Master most likely knew this too and he also knew that Saitoh would go straight for his throat. Then they could fight and he could call it self-defence. Master, although not one for elaborate plans, did make sure his ass was covered.
"Do you want your nephew to grow up fatherless?" She snapped stalking closer. Master still didn't look worried at all. In fact, he didn't even seem surprised that she was pregnant. Which is more than I can say for myself.
"It's not his is it?"
She clenched her fists, "Are you implying that I am of loose morals?"
You haven't snuck out because I don't need any more trouble.
'Wouldn't that be delicious. I mean, if the kid was born with red hair and violet eyes.'
Well, actually, both red hair and violet eyes are recessive traits. That means the mother, or someone in the mother's lineage would have to have them. Then she would have to carry the recessive trait...
'Shut up science boy. This is going to get good. Besides, for all you know, you are the father. Won't that be fun?'
I fought down the urge to run over and say that I was so, so very sorry and I would help her take care of the child. I could hear her answer in my head, cool and precise. That Hajime was my partner or that I'm having a child? I was already on thin ice, I didn't need to cast a shadow over myself even more.
"You let that hellspawn whelp touch you?"
"Hajime is my husband!"
Master, never knowing when to quit replied with a sip of alcohol, "That doesn't mean you can't find someone better to romp with."
I swear, alcohol induced or not, there was going to be some serious violence if Master didn't shut his trap. I almost went to intervene, but my gut feeling said this was a family matter. Don't mess with the family issues.
"You are treading on very thin ice brother dear." She issued those last two words through her teeth and her hand was wrapped tightly around Saitoh's wrist.
He could have easily jerked his wrist out of her grip and tried to rip Master's throat out with his bare teeth, but he stayed.
"I'm just saying what needs to be said." Master continued on blithely and Saitoh almost lunged.
Missus Tokio grabbed him, using her body as a shield. He seemed to resist for a moment. She ran her hands aross his jaw and whispered something. He relaxed partially only shooting Master a deadly look before taking one of her hands in his. She leaned into his shoulder before he gently steered her out the door.
"Geez, is everyone horney tonight or what?" Yahiko grumbled.
Sano, still keeping Miss Misao from tipping over, replied, "Give it a few years. You're hormones will kick in and you'll be as randy as anyone else."
"Yeah, but how many people are actually gonna get some?" Chou muttered. He and Soujirou said good night and drifted out to the boarding house.
Master stood up, "As pleasant as that was I will return to my cherish solitude."
Sanosuke, still looking for a vengeful Aoshi to swoop out of the sky and strike him down like a lightning bolt, warily offered to walk Miss Misao home. She insisted that she didn't require protection then promptly fell flat on her face when he stopped steadying her.
I found Miss Kaoru cheerfully helping Yumi and Kamatari clean up the worse of the mess. Most everyone else had cleared out to do whatever.
"What do you want Kenshin." She asked as I approached meekly. I wish there was a better way to test the waters for man-eating sharks without actually sticking my hand in.
"This unworthy one would like to speak to you. Alone." I added that last bit because Yumi and Kamatari were leaning just a bit to close.
She almost refused, I could see it on her face and in her beautiful blue eyes. With a mustered smile she said graciously, "Okay, we can talk out on the porch."
"Thank you." I inclined my head. Politeness had yet to fail me.
It was fridged outside and the frost glistened. Most of the town was silent and dark with only the warm glow of lights here and there. Miss Kaoru gazed out and Battousai decided to make his move.
'You shouldn't apologize, she should.' He protested firmly and loudly.
Going automatically into defensive mode I started off, This unworthy one-
'Oh shove that. It's tiresome.' He snapped, losing patience because I used the tactic he hated the most: humility.
You shove it. I'm tired of listening to you!
Miss Kaoru was glancing at me from the corner of her eye, but I needed to put the dog in his place before I tried anything.
'Good. Use that anger. Now here's what you got to do. Grab her and kiss her. Like Megumi did you, okay? And if your hands wander a bit all the better. Make her want you!'
You do it, I whimpered, suddenly scared. Of what exactly I don't know.
'Sure.'
Hell no!
Battousai made a puzzled face, 'You sure you don't have another alter ego hidden in there somewhere? Make up your mind!'
"You shut up!"
"I didn't say anything." Miss Kaoru said, sounding miffed.
"Oro!" She frowned deeply and I gulped. Strike two. Let's try this again. "Let this unworthy one explain! Please! This unworthy one is terribly sorry Miss Kaoru. I, we, he... did not mean you, that he did not."
She sighed heavily and said shortly, "Thirty seconds."
Where to start? Blurt. Blurting is good. "This unworthy one did not mean to kiss Miss Megumi."
She interrupted me, "So it just happened? Somehow I don't believe that."
'Ask her how her kiss with Soujirou "just happened". See what she has to say then.' Battousai smirk.
"This- shut up you- unworthy one was caught off guard." I staggered on lamely.
"So you kissed her back. With tongue!"
Battousai shrugged, 'She's a good kisser.'
I struggled on valiantly trying to make her understand. I implusively grabbed her hand and said "This unworthy one is not interested in Miss Megumi."
"I'm sorry Kenshin." She said unhappily.
"About?" I asked entirely confused.
'What's she got to say now? Huh huh huh? Explain the kiss slut!'
I was outraged. Have you ever tried to convay your deep loving feelings for someone, only to have your alter ego butt in constantly? It's annoying and mortifying all in one.
"Don't call Miss Kaoru a slut!"
She was staring at me before she screeched, "Slut! Is that what you just called me Ken-shin?"
'Whoa boy, you're in for it.' Another job well done, I could mentally hear him say.
Trying to make amends I said to Miss Kaoru, "I called you nothing."
"So you were talking about yourself then? Because I don't see anyone else out here, do you?" Her voice was flat and baiting.
This was giving me a headache, but once again I couldn't keep my big mouth shut, "I don't think that term could be applied to a man."
"Sorry, a he-whore then." Miss Kaoru snapped, not molified in the slightest. I'm sure my jaw dropped.
'You suck at this. You sure you don't want me to take over?'
Then she started sniffling and turned away with a quiver in her throat, "Just shut up Kenshin. It's obvious you don't want to be with me."
It was?
'He likes you well enough, I'm the one who thinks you're worthless.' Battousai replied saucily, warming up to the topic.
I cut him a filthy look that promise excurciating retribution for his careless comments. He laughed.
'Why don't you just let me fix this?'
I can handle it! I growled at him. And I could. I was a grown man and this was my problem. Either I wanted to make this work or I didn't. I did, so I needed to grow up and act like it. It wasn't fair to Miss Kaoru that I was so uptight about the whole issue.
I gently put two fingers under her chin and tried to steer her face back around. She resisted stubbornly bring a wan smile to my lips.
"This unworthy one is very sorry for everything that has transpired this evening. It seems to have been very exciting and emotional this night, that it has. This unworthy one did not intend anything that happen."
"But I bet it was a plus to have your tongue down Megumi's throat." Okay, so she was hurt. Did she have to keep bringing that up?
"Oro?"
She made an exasperated sound and said playfully, "Honestly Kenshin."
She smiled that gorgeous smile and I tipped her jaw up.
'Do you really want to do this?'
Yes, I replied firmly.
*beta reader finally gets a voice here!!!! OMG it's fluff *runs to bathroom to puke out guts* I'm back~! I am happy to say that my version of the bet with Meg and Hiko-sama was a little more sadistic....but I think it all went well. The only thing in my twisted mind is that B took over in the end and slit her throat...so whichever way you look at it, it's a work of art. (Author speaking: Don't listen to her, she doesn't like Kaoru. She doesn't really like anyone -.-;;;)
Fyyrrose: You get plenty of recognition, really, glory hound! Rob's funny and twisted, but you're right, no romance. I think it's a family thing. You never sent it back! Speaking of, I think I have a fight scene to write... Wolves, they multiply, and that no killing rule sucks. Are you sure you're not a pyromaniac? He doesn't need more, he's got enough. Saitoh just makes sure he doesn't bring 'em out. Ah, so you like Sano when he's stealing alcohol? *shakes head* Now to convince Rob that the poor guy doesn't need to be dismembered. Yes, I kept that line in there just for you.
Trupana: I put that in there just for you, you know. And I told Fyyrrose that you would get it too ;) Kenshin ended up as a bananna O.o Ah, the insanity that is my family.
Wistful-Eyes: No, he's a good B ^^ Oh, yes, it slipped *sarcastic*This last part isn't quite so action packed, at least not in the same way.
MissBehavin: B's pretty smart, good survival instincts! He should have, shouldn't he? But yes, murdering your brother-in-law usually doesn't go over well. Even if it's a fiery pillar of alcohol drenched death!
Nigihayami Haruko: My twisted sense of humor? I'm just happy there are other people out there who find me funny ^__^ I'll probably see him again in April, so we'll see.
"Oooh, the tree fell down. Again." Miss Misao fumed with her fists clenched.
Indeed it had. Right onto the refreshment table.
"No." Sanosuke moaned staring at the devastation of the kegs of beer and other various beverages leaking and busted. They pooled on the hard wood floor making the air a sickly sweet cloud and the ground slick beneath.
"At least the cider was saved." Miss Kaoru remarked.
Saitoh and Tokio walked in. A large clump of snow was sticking to the Wolf's forehead. I guess Master couldn't resist one last crack at him. Lobo whined and paced the doorway, but thank the owner of the bar he wasn't allowed in! Not since the last bar fight.
"Cider." Sano whined with contempt, "That's no good. I want to get trashed! Apples just don't do it."
'Baby. He should do some bootlegging.' But that would require work, precision, and patience, 'Good point.'
While Miss Misao and Miss Kaoru were cleaning up the sopping mess, which I did not offer to help with, whoever said I was a slow learner? Master, but he doesn't count. He's got a Superiority Complex, never take what he says about your faults seriously. It only encourages his misbehavior. Great, now I sound like his mother. I pity the poor woman, honestly I do.
"What happened to you?" Yumi squealed and all heads turned to behold Kamatari in all his glory. To cover his bald head he had acquired a wig. Now, where he got a wig on such short notice, when all the stores were closed I don't know. Then again, considering the way it looked maybe he stole a broom.
The hair was a magnificent color of royal purple with lighter streaks running through it. An eggplant gone furry! It didn't help that the hair was so tightly curled he looked like a shaggy mountain goat with a color not found in nature.
Kamatari, looking rather annoyed for once and not at all happy, snapped, "I thought I'd try a new look. After all, staying the same year after year must get awful boring. Just wait until you start sagging."
Yumi opened her mouth and snapped in shut in a snit. She glared then pronounced, "I don't think it matters much when your taste is so bad that babies cry in fear and dogs run away."
"You look like an electrocuted sheep." Yahiko put in his unwelcome opinion cheekily. Sano cocked his head and disagreed, "More like Shirely Temple dropped in a vat of dye."
Kamatari wasn't paying any attention to the peanut gallery. He had stalked up in front of Yumi with some serious hostile intent. I wondered if it would come to blows. Would they bitch slap or punch? Or maybe do that sissy hand slapping thing.
'Like you?' I do not!
Kamatari's hand shot out and there was a ripping sound. Yumi gasped in outrage and surprise. Soujirou's face registered surprise since he and Chou were seated in their usual place and facing her. All the rest of us saw was the back. That's okay, I've a good imagination.
"Woah, cover 'em up gal or ya might have more business tonigh' than ya can handle." Chou whistled and Soujirou blushed. He discreetly tossed Yumi one of the bar rags and averted his eyes.
Sano grinned and suggested that she turn around. Yahiko looked on with curiosity, I'm not sure if he realized what exactly had happened. I am sure, however, that he would probably be as perverted as his brother if she turned around. Saitoh looked nonplused about the whole thing and Father Aoshi was stoic leaning against a wall.
'They need lives.' Battousai growled. I rolled my eyes and informed him that not everyone on this Earth was sexually driven. I half expected him to make some witty quip about me, but he was looking like he actually considered my words. 'You suck. No wonder you've not gotten anywhere with Sticks 'n' Bones, with an attitude like that.'
A heavy hand cuff me from behind. Instinctively my hand flew to the sore spot while the other went for my gun.
"Stupid student, I thought you liked your horse girl. Ogling at other women will win you no points."
"This unworthy one was not 'ogling'." I retorted, indignant.
Yumi fled upstairs and Kamatari seated himself down next to Chou not looking sorry in the slightest.
To escape Master, I slid over towards the three in time to catch a strange bit of conversation.
"I think ya over did it." Chou remarked, sloshing around his apple cider.
Kamatari made a face and replied flippantly, "It's not anything she hasn't tried to do to me before. She'll get over it."
"You hope."
"I don't know. Miss Yumi looked awfully mad and embarrassed." Soujirou commented.
Kamatari's nose crinkled and he said, "I'll go apologize later then. It wouldn't look right if I bailed on the party now."
Apologize? I thought they hated each other. Admittedly it was harsh, what he did, but even so. Before I could consider that further Miss Kaoru called me over. I did my best to look innocent. Like I hadn't just been listening in on a conversation.
Now if I had actually been paying attention to the right people I would have known that my Master had other plans for livening up his evening.
"A wager you say. What kind?" Hiko asked, sipping from his private stock of alcohol. He was standing in an out of the way corner, pretending to try to blend into the background. "I know you have eyes for my stupid student."
"Do I now?" Megumi purred. "I bet you that you wouldn't part with that alcohol for anything."
"Hmm, anything you say? I don't think that's a bet, but you have my attention. I have a better one. I bet you couldn't get my stupid student away from his crush, pony girl."
"Stakes?"
"One bottle of my best brandy verse you doing any one thing I ask."
Megumi pretended to consider it for a moment before giving a sly smile, "Those hardly seem fair, but since I don't intend to lose, why not."
I, on the other hand, was having the time of my life. Okay, not really.
'This is humiliating, I don't know you.' You share my body, I pointed out.
"He looks so cute." Miss Misao remarked.
'Cute?' Battousai raised an eyebrow. He was taking it well.
Miss Kaoru stiffened and looked past me, "What do you want?"
"Is that any way to treat someone? Where's your holiday spirit, Christmas generosity?" I braced myself for the attack that generally followed Miss Megumi's opening statement. Instead she seated herself by Miss Kaoru.
"I'm sorry." Miss Kaoru didn't look very sorry. In fact, she looked very surly and as wary as a cat in the dog pound.
"How would you like to see Hiko suffer a bit?"
Miss Kaoru and Saitoh suddenly looked like a pair of attentive wolf hounds waiting to be loosed on their prey. Now, I know that Master hadn't made all that great an impression, but really. No need to start a war here. Besides, Master was invincible, I doubt Miss Megumi or anyone else could actually catch him off guard.
'Then how did I burn down his house?' You're special.
"What do you need?"
"Kenshin of course."
"Wait-." Miss Kaoru started to protest, but Saitoh cut her off, "I doubt it will harm him. I want to see this."
Now wait a moment. Didn't I get a say in this? Apparently not. Suddenly I was soaring through the air like a plucked chicken before performing an emergency landing into a wall.
Slightly dazed and very confused I was suddenly swept into a warm embrace.
"Are you okay Sir Ken?" Miss Megumi steadied me and I leaned against her not trusting my warped sense of balance.
I vaguely heard Miss Kaoru shriek something about mistletoe and Saitoh say something about tradition.
Then there was the face sucking.
'Prude. You wouldn't know face sucking from snowblowing.'
Just kissing then.
'Damn good kissing. You sure you won't reconsider?' I was kind of too busy to reply.
"She slipped in some tongue!" Miss Misao announced in a scandalized voice.
"Eww, I thought Kenshin liked Ugly!" Yahiko declared, no doubt leaning in closer.
"And that would be a French kiss." Saitoh remarked.
"Holy shit. Round two!" Sano whooped.
I tried to pull back. I couldn't hear the voice I wanted to hear. No doubt she was furious and seething. But I had to explain that I didn't want it. I was so distraught that Battousai flipped his cage open and I didn't care. Of course I whipped my head back around when he started getting a bit too touchy-feely there.
Miss Megumi let go and wandered off towards the cider. She took a drink and looked at Master. His ebony eyes narrowed drastically and he ungracefully plopped a bottle of some sort of alcohol in her hand. She murmured something and he looked vaguely pissed.
"How'd you do it man?" Sano asked, helping me to a stool. I looked at him, "Where's Miss Kaoru?"
He, of course, ignored me to pursue his own agenda. He sauntered up to Miss Megumi, "Can I get a kiss?"
A smile played around her lips and she replied, "I rather kiss Father Aoshi."
"So that's a no?" Sano replied, incorrigible as ever.
Meanwhile, I had gone off in search of Miss Kaoru. I hadn't meant to do anything wrong or to hurt her feelings.
'You did absolutely nothing wrong and she's too sensitive. It's not like she owns you or anything.' Battousai reassured me. He's such a compassionate and understanding soul.
You know those shoulder angels? The ones that tell you right from wrong and advise you in the correct course of action? He must have been born on the wrong side, because he was an anti-angel.
'Devil you mean.'
I spotted Miss Kaoru over by Chou, Kamatari, and Soujirou. She was talking to the young man with an upset look and I felt a twinge of guilt. I needed to make this right.
'Your funeral.'
"Are you alright Miss Kamiya? That wasn't very polite of Mister Himura or Miss Takani." I halted, wondering what would happen next. Now, I may be a bit dense and a little slow on the uptake but there was no doubt in my mind that they were flirting.
'My my, someone's a bit green now. What's Smiley going to do? Woe her with talk of jersey heifers and butter cream.'
They were chatting rather animatedly now and Miss Kaoru laughed at something he said. She sniffled and leaned in for what I assume was originally intended as a friendly hug.
Was it just me, or did it turn into something a bit more personal?
Yumi returned, having composed herself and changed her clothing. She shot a poisoned look at Kamatari before sweeping the room. Her eyes locked on the two and she commented on what everyone was thinking. Blunt, honest. Those are two words that should never be strung together.
"I go upstairs for ten minutes and I come back down to this? Get a room already."
Either they didn't hear her comment or were completely disregarding. I knew Miss Kaoru could be stubborn, but really! Was this necessary?
'She's just in a tiff. Let her get it out of her system.' Battousai advised. I glared. For once he wasn't the cause of my discomfort, but he certainly wasn't making it easier either.
"Looks like the boy's gonna get some tonigh'!" Chou commented with a lecherous grin all over his face.
By now Miss Kaoru was all but sitting in Soujirou's lap. If he was uncomfortable he didn't show it. That ever-present smile was the same.
Abruptly she seemed to make up her mind. She grabbed Soujirou's face and sucked face. And I mean it.
'Woah, I didn't know you could do things like that!'
But... why?
'An eye for an eye, a kiss for a kiss. She's playing payback. Don't take it personally.'
"Shit, everyone's getting kissed but me." Sano grumbled and Yahiko made a noise before asking, "Would you want to kiss Ugly? Besides, everyone thinks you like guys."
The young man considered that for a moment before admitting, "I'm not gay! You're right, that would be too much like kissing my little sister. But I wouldn't mind if Megumi or Misao..."
Before Yahiko could screech out his accidental slip Sano pounded his head downwards effectively cutting off the word flow. Yahiko growled and started to gnaw on his head, everything else forgotten.
"Pay up." I heard Megumi say from behind me and someone that sounded like Master grumbling about losing again. And to a woman no less.
Miss Misao staggered past admonishing Sano and Yahiko, "No fighting, no biting."
She tripped over her own feet and Sano caught her out of reflex. He stared down, unsure what to do with her. His eyes dared around looking for Father Aoshi, but the priest was true to form. Never around when you needed him.
"My hero." Miss Misao giggled and swayed.
"Then again..." Yahiko started devilishly. Apparently life with Sanosuke was hardly what one would call sheltered. Sano smacked him again, "Leave her alone, she's drunk."
"How do you figure?"
"Listen, I've been drunk enough to recognize it okay? The real question is where did she find the liquor?"
I wasn't really in the social mood or I would have heard and had a very good idea what happened. As it was Missus Tokio beat me to it.
She took a sip of the cider and her grey eyes narrowed. She glared at Hiko, who was sprawled neatly in one corner. He looked at her and smirked that all-knowing smirk.
"Seijuro, you have done some despicable things before and I will make no mention of the bets you have been running at other people's expense, but spiking the cider?" Missus Tokio not quite snarled. She was not a happy camper. "And I assume this was all to get at Hajime. When will you two just grow up and get over it?"
Master didn't seem to be bothered at all, but Saitoh had prowled out behind his wife. I hadn't seen him actually drink any of the cider, but I wasn't really paying all that much mind to him. I knew that he had the potential to be very violent when under the influence of alcohol. Master most likely knew this too and he also knew that Saitoh would go straight for his throat. Then they could fight and he could call it self-defence. Master, although not one for elaborate plans, did make sure his ass was covered.
"Do you want your nephew to grow up fatherless?" She snapped stalking closer. Master still didn't look worried at all. In fact, he didn't even seem surprised that she was pregnant. Which is more than I can say for myself.
"It's not his is it?"
She clenched her fists, "Are you implying that I am of loose morals?"
You haven't snuck out because I don't need any more trouble.
'Wouldn't that be delicious. I mean, if the kid was born with red hair and violet eyes.'
Well, actually, both red hair and violet eyes are recessive traits. That means the mother, or someone in the mother's lineage would have to have them. Then she would have to carry the recessive trait...
'Shut up science boy. This is going to get good. Besides, for all you know, you are the father. Won't that be fun?'
I fought down the urge to run over and say that I was so, so very sorry and I would help her take care of the child. I could hear her answer in my head, cool and precise. That Hajime was my partner or that I'm having a child? I was already on thin ice, I didn't need to cast a shadow over myself even more.
"You let that hellspawn whelp touch you?"
"Hajime is my husband!"
Master, never knowing when to quit replied with a sip of alcohol, "That doesn't mean you can't find someone better to romp with."
I swear, alcohol induced or not, there was going to be some serious violence if Master didn't shut his trap. I almost went to intervene, but my gut feeling said this was a family matter. Don't mess with the family issues.
"You are treading on very thin ice brother dear." She issued those last two words through her teeth and her hand was wrapped tightly around Saitoh's wrist.
He could have easily jerked his wrist out of her grip and tried to rip Master's throat out with his bare teeth, but he stayed.
"I'm just saying what needs to be said." Master continued on blithely and Saitoh almost lunged.
Missus Tokio grabbed him, using her body as a shield. He seemed to resist for a moment. She ran her hands aross his jaw and whispered something. He relaxed partially only shooting Master a deadly look before taking one of her hands in his. She leaned into his shoulder before he gently steered her out the door.
"Geez, is everyone horney tonight or what?" Yahiko grumbled.
Sano, still keeping Miss Misao from tipping over, replied, "Give it a few years. You're hormones will kick in and you'll be as randy as anyone else."
"Yeah, but how many people are actually gonna get some?" Chou muttered. He and Soujirou said good night and drifted out to the boarding house.
Master stood up, "As pleasant as that was I will return to my cherish solitude."
Sanosuke, still looking for a vengeful Aoshi to swoop out of the sky and strike him down like a lightning bolt, warily offered to walk Miss Misao home. She insisted that she didn't require protection then promptly fell flat on her face when he stopped steadying her.
I found Miss Kaoru cheerfully helping Yumi and Kamatari clean up the worse of the mess. Most everyone else had cleared out to do whatever.
"What do you want Kenshin." She asked as I approached meekly. I wish there was a better way to test the waters for man-eating sharks without actually sticking my hand in.
"This unworthy one would like to speak to you. Alone." I added that last bit because Yumi and Kamatari were leaning just a bit to close.
She almost refused, I could see it on her face and in her beautiful blue eyes. With a mustered smile she said graciously, "Okay, we can talk out on the porch."
"Thank you." I inclined my head. Politeness had yet to fail me.
It was fridged outside and the frost glistened. Most of the town was silent and dark with only the warm glow of lights here and there. Miss Kaoru gazed out and Battousai decided to make his move.
'You shouldn't apologize, she should.' He protested firmly and loudly.
Going automatically into defensive mode I started off, This unworthy one-
'Oh shove that. It's tiresome.' He snapped, losing patience because I used the tactic he hated the most: humility.
You shove it. I'm tired of listening to you!
Miss Kaoru was glancing at me from the corner of her eye, but I needed to put the dog in his place before I tried anything.
'Good. Use that anger. Now here's what you got to do. Grab her and kiss her. Like Megumi did you, okay? And if your hands wander a bit all the better. Make her want you!'
You do it, I whimpered, suddenly scared. Of what exactly I don't know.
'Sure.'
Hell no!
Battousai made a puzzled face, 'You sure you don't have another alter ego hidden in there somewhere? Make up your mind!'
"You shut up!"
"I didn't say anything." Miss Kaoru said, sounding miffed.
"Oro!" She frowned deeply and I gulped. Strike two. Let's try this again. "Let this unworthy one explain! Please! This unworthy one is terribly sorry Miss Kaoru. I, we, he... did not mean you, that he did not."
She sighed heavily and said shortly, "Thirty seconds."
Where to start? Blurt. Blurting is good. "This unworthy one did not mean to kiss Miss Megumi."
She interrupted me, "So it just happened? Somehow I don't believe that."
'Ask her how her kiss with Soujirou "just happened". See what she has to say then.' Battousai smirk.
"This- shut up you- unworthy one was caught off guard." I staggered on lamely.
"So you kissed her back. With tongue!"
Battousai shrugged, 'She's a good kisser.'
I struggled on valiantly trying to make her understand. I implusively grabbed her hand and said "This unworthy one is not interested in Miss Megumi."
"I'm sorry Kenshin." She said unhappily.
"About?" I asked entirely confused.
'What's she got to say now? Huh huh huh? Explain the kiss slut!'
I was outraged. Have you ever tried to convay your deep loving feelings for someone, only to have your alter ego butt in constantly? It's annoying and mortifying all in one.
"Don't call Miss Kaoru a slut!"
She was staring at me before she screeched, "Slut! Is that what you just called me Ken-shin?"
'Whoa boy, you're in for it.' Another job well done, I could mentally hear him say.
Trying to make amends I said to Miss Kaoru, "I called you nothing."
"So you were talking about yourself then? Because I don't see anyone else out here, do you?" Her voice was flat and baiting.
This was giving me a headache, but once again I couldn't keep my big mouth shut, "I don't think that term could be applied to a man."
"Sorry, a he-whore then." Miss Kaoru snapped, not molified in the slightest. I'm sure my jaw dropped.
'You suck at this. You sure you don't want me to take over?'
Then she started sniffling and turned away with a quiver in her throat, "Just shut up Kenshin. It's obvious you don't want to be with me."
It was?
'He likes you well enough, I'm the one who thinks you're worthless.' Battousai replied saucily, warming up to the topic.
I cut him a filthy look that promise excurciating retribution for his careless comments. He laughed.
'Why don't you just let me fix this?'
I can handle it! I growled at him. And I could. I was a grown man and this was my problem. Either I wanted to make this work or I didn't. I did, so I needed to grow up and act like it. It wasn't fair to Miss Kaoru that I was so uptight about the whole issue.
I gently put two fingers under her chin and tried to steer her face back around. She resisted stubbornly bring a wan smile to my lips.
"This unworthy one is very sorry for everything that has transpired this evening. It seems to have been very exciting and emotional this night, that it has. This unworthy one did not intend anything that happen."
"But I bet it was a plus to have your tongue down Megumi's throat." Okay, so she was hurt. Did she have to keep bringing that up?
"Oro?"
She made an exasperated sound and said playfully, "Honestly Kenshin."
She smiled that gorgeous smile and I tipped her jaw up.
'Do you really want to do this?'
Yes, I replied firmly.
*beta reader finally gets a voice here!!!! OMG it's fluff *runs to bathroom to puke out guts* I'm back~! I am happy to say that my version of the bet with Meg and Hiko-sama was a little more sadistic....but I think it all went well. The only thing in my twisted mind is that B took over in the end and slit her throat...so whichever way you look at it, it's a work of art. (Author speaking: Don't listen to her, she doesn't like Kaoru. She doesn't really like anyone -.-;;;)
Fyyrrose: You get plenty of recognition, really, glory hound! Rob's funny and twisted, but you're right, no romance. I think it's a family thing. You never sent it back! Speaking of, I think I have a fight scene to write... Wolves, they multiply, and that no killing rule sucks. Are you sure you're not a pyromaniac? He doesn't need more, he's got enough. Saitoh just makes sure he doesn't bring 'em out. Ah, so you like Sano when he's stealing alcohol? *shakes head* Now to convince Rob that the poor guy doesn't need to be dismembered. Yes, I kept that line in there just for you.
Trupana: I put that in there just for you, you know. And I told Fyyrrose that you would get it too ;) Kenshin ended up as a bananna O.o Ah, the insanity that is my family.
Wistful-Eyes: No, he's a good B ^^ Oh, yes, it slipped *sarcastic*This last part isn't quite so action packed, at least not in the same way.
MissBehavin: B's pretty smart, good survival instincts! He should have, shouldn't he? But yes, murdering your brother-in-law usually doesn't go over well. Even if it's a fiery pillar of alcohol drenched death!
Nigihayami Haruko: My twisted sense of humor? I'm just happy there are other people out there who find me funny ^__^ I'll probably see him again in April, so we'll see.