CHAPTER TWO: TRAVESTY OF THE LINE
"Lexy, Lexy. Always in it for the big entrance."
"Willy, Willy. Don't even get me started on you." Lex stepped further into the office with an expressionless face. She looked around at the fine furnishings and contemporary design of the room. "Nice place you got 'ere. Angel, right?" Lex asked the dark vampire, staring at her for a moment. "Hear you're the head of this joint. Not the kinda joint I wish I 'ad right now, but s' okay."
"We all know you get those joints anyway, Lex. What're you wasting your time down 'ere for?" Spike asked as Lex picked up a bloody knife from a small table.
"Came lookin' for you, babe. Nice. Vexlon blade, 1400's, Fernando Valdez, was the name, Barcelona. You can tell by the handle. He was the only one to make that exact curve with the finishin' of bronze in that precise pattern. Expensive and rare. How'd ya get a hold of that? Most of those buggers were lost in the Inquisition." She slashed it through the air, making the young Fred jump, prompting a breif laugh. "These bits can slash you apart real quick, even if you're not a Vexlon, babe." She said to Fred, stepping closer.
Angel nodded to Fred to leave.
"Are you sure?" She asked apprehensively. He nodded and she left.
"Oi, Brainless. Where'd you get this, babe?" Lex repeated.
"What are you doing in my office? If you want Spike, take him and go." Angel replied. "Oh, get out of my city while you're at it, 'babe'." He snapped, imitating her.
"Playin' with fire, and you're quite flammable. Brilliant. And I would be happy to take him off your hands, but I need him for somethin' else. And as an even further notice, I don't remember drivin into this city and seein' a big ol' label up sayin' 'Property of Angelus, reigning pathetic vampire. No bleedin' tresspassin. So, with that said, Spike, need to talk to you, and Angel, I'll get the bleedin' hell outta *your* city when I want to." Angel didn't notice her slip the knife into the pocket of her black leather jacket.
"Okay, then can I ask what the hell you're doing here? Besides taking off my hands a vampire who could have gotten a PhD in pissing me off?" Angel asked, sitting back down. Lex shrugged and took the seat facing Angel's desk. She casually put her feet up on the desk, relaxing.
"Fine then. Guess we could have a little chat. What am I doin' in LA, or your joke-evil law firm?" She cocked one thin eyebrow at the other vampire, who sat up.
"Both." He folded his arms across his chest.
"Well, that's not too unreasonable. I'm here in LA to come to said law firm. And I come to said law firm to find said obnoxious vampire. No offense, babe." She told the peroxide blonde vampire, leaning against the wall, amused at his old friend challenging his sire in such a tasteful manner.
"None taken. Please, continue." He smirked, eyes trailing over her body.
"Right. I also came 'ere to find another friend of mine who can help me out with a li'l trifle of a problem I've been havin."
"Which would be?" Angel prompted.
"It's personal, babe. And as much as I respect your evil half and am amused by your souled half, I don't exactly know you well enough to wanna share."
"Well this wouldn't be causing any trouble for me, would it? Because if it does, I might have to kill you now."
"Real cute, babe. If you were to try, I'd probably have a higher probability of dying laughing at you than dying at your hand. And the answer is it will not be causing you any direct harm. Nothin' you need to worry 'bout." Lex grinned cockily at the brooding vampire.
"Somehow I doubt that."
"Well I'm not goin' after you, babe, or your firm, so you can relax."
"What about the apocalypse? That could be a problem too." Angel growled. This girl was pissing him off.
"What about it? I've given up on that. I myself tend to like the plain old terror and destruction ideas better than the big bang. Not only does it fend a lotta buggersome bits off, but it's a lot more fun and ensures my existence. See what I'm sayin?"
"Lex likes to go after-" Spike started.
"I know what she likes to go after, Spike. I've done my research." Lex hopped up and walked around the desk to Angel's chair. She brushed her hand over the top, relishing the feel of the leather.
"Research? I'm flattered, babe. Once again, that's just plain adorable. Don't you think he's adorable, Spike?" Lex asked, grabbing Angel's jaw. Spike laughed.
"Real cute, luv. Now can we hurry this up? I kind of want to get out of here, if you know what I'm sayin."
"Spike, we got all eternity to go kill shit. And seein' as this is my first encounter with the feared Angelus, I wanna make it memorable." She assured him with a wink of her dark eyes. Angel grabbed her wrist and twisted it into his grip, standing up. Lex giggled.
"You're so sweet, babe." She twisted her arm out, grabbed his forearm and yanked it roughly behind his back with more force than Angel could have imagined she had. Angel struggled, but her strength overpowered him. Lex leaned down to whisper lightly in Angel's ear.
"Look, babe. Answering your previous question honestly, I'd absolutely love to piss you off and have you as my main focus, but frankly you just aren't enough of a challenge for me right now. And make sure you keep that nice face of yours the way it is, babe. It'd be a shame to waste someone as lovely and helpless as you. So do what you do best, babe, and help the helpless. Just let me do what I need to get done here and then you can worry all you want about the buggering lil humans I'm gonna kill, and all the destruction upon this fair country I'm gonna inflict. But before we get there, just sit back and relax for a little while. Your problems now are gonna be a lot smaller than all the vexations you're gonna have later." Lex let go of his arm, and pressed him back up against the wall. With that and one little smile, she turned to the smiling Spike.
The lanky brunette winked at Spike and nodded her head at the door. He walked out, and Lex watched him go.
"Thanks again, mate." She winked at Angel and pulled the door closed as she exited. Angel was fuming. Who was she to walk in to his office, act like she owned the place, act like she owned him, Spike, the town, and could stride on out without even handing him the only knife you could use to kill a Vexlon demon. Where was that knife, anyway? Where'd she put it down? Angel searched the office for a couple of minutes before it clicked.
"That little bitch." Angel muttered, dashing toward the door. That was the only one he had left. He looked around for the two vampires, but didn't see them anywhere. He turned back to Harmony's desk.
"Harmony, did you see Spike and another vampire come out of my office a minute ago?"
"Well duh. They just left five minutes ago. Why didn't you go after them then?"
"Because Lex has my last Vexlon knife and I need it back. Those things are rare and expensive. So I thought she put it down but it's gone."
"Oh. Is that your friend? Lex? Weird name. I didn't like her. She seems strange."
"She is and I've actually never met her before today now where were they going?"
"Didn't say."
"What? Harmony, that thing is worth almost twenty thousand dollars I need it! For once in your life, think!"
"Like they'd tell me? That's not Spike's ex, is it?" Before she knew it, Angel was already gone.
~*~
"Lie lie lie liar you lie lie lie lie I think you're funny you're funny ha ha I don't need it don't need your blah blah should've realised I know what you areyou're in SUSPENSION you're a LIAR you're a LIAR you're a LIE LIE LIE LIE!"
Lex and Spike sang along to Never Mind the Bollocks in Angel's stolen Viper, Lex driving, Spike enjoying a smoke. As Sid Vicious began to fade away and the song 'Problems' came on, Spike turned to Lex after a long drag of his cigarette.
"So, what do you really need me for, Lex? I don't think it's just something ordinary, you work solo. What's going on?"
"I'm gonna do it, Spike. I'm getting rid of it once and for all. Then I'm free."
"Lex, uh, what do you need me for for this?"
"Spike, I'm not just gettin' rid of a soul, babe, it's a little different than your situation. I'm getting rid of all that was ever good inside 'o me. And the way it's gonna happen I'm gonna need an anchor. Somebody I trust, someone who can back me up when it comes down to the actual ripping out of my Slayer impulses. It's bloody dangerous, babe, I need you to help me out."
Spike was touched, honored, but something was wrong with it.
"Lex, have you thought about this? This isn't just dangerous for you, when you get rid of your impulse, it's gonna hurt people when you start really killing."
"But it's better than what's happening to me now, Spike. I can't take this anymore. It's borrowed, it comes and goes, fluctuatin' and jus pissin me off. I can't stand it anymore, it's making me insane, babe, don't you see? I need to get rid of it."
"I won't help you get rid of it, Lex, I think it's a bad idea. You made a mistake in coming here."
"Thought you might say that." Lex replied. "Hate to do this to ya, babe."
"Do what?" Spike asked. Lex swerved the car over off the road, bringing it to a halt. She yanked out of her pocket the Vexlon dagger, quickly sprinkled an orange powder over it and thrust it into Spike's chest. Spike roared in pain, as a flash hit him, and he felt something being sucked out of himself through the wound. Lex held the knife deep in his chest, waited until the flash passed through his eyes, and yanked the knife out.
"B-b-bloody hell, woman!" Spike spat out, clutching his chest. "What did you do?" He asked softly. Without a word, Lex took a hold of the blade of the dagger, and snapped it in two. A soft sparkle of the dust fluttered as it broke, and she threw the pieces of the knife in the back of the Viper.
"I know how hard you worked to get it, Spike, but I really need this. Sorry, babe."
Spike stared down, shocked, his hand clutching the open wound, till he finally looked up at her, smiling. "No problem at all, babe. Let's rock n' roll!" He shouted, blaring the volume up on the cd. Lex grinned and tore away in the Viper.
AN: Review! Or you will never know what Lex did to Spike... and you wont get to read all the good shit i have planned. and that would make you very sad. stan: thats okay with us. mr garrison: no it isnt it makes you very sad! lol south park kicks ass.. yeah. review.
"Lexy, Lexy. Always in it for the big entrance."
"Willy, Willy. Don't even get me started on you." Lex stepped further into the office with an expressionless face. She looked around at the fine furnishings and contemporary design of the room. "Nice place you got 'ere. Angel, right?" Lex asked the dark vampire, staring at her for a moment. "Hear you're the head of this joint. Not the kinda joint I wish I 'ad right now, but s' okay."
"We all know you get those joints anyway, Lex. What're you wasting your time down 'ere for?" Spike asked as Lex picked up a bloody knife from a small table.
"Came lookin' for you, babe. Nice. Vexlon blade, 1400's, Fernando Valdez, was the name, Barcelona. You can tell by the handle. He was the only one to make that exact curve with the finishin' of bronze in that precise pattern. Expensive and rare. How'd ya get a hold of that? Most of those buggers were lost in the Inquisition." She slashed it through the air, making the young Fred jump, prompting a breif laugh. "These bits can slash you apart real quick, even if you're not a Vexlon, babe." She said to Fred, stepping closer.
Angel nodded to Fred to leave.
"Are you sure?" She asked apprehensively. He nodded and she left.
"Oi, Brainless. Where'd you get this, babe?" Lex repeated.
"What are you doing in my office? If you want Spike, take him and go." Angel replied. "Oh, get out of my city while you're at it, 'babe'." He snapped, imitating her.
"Playin' with fire, and you're quite flammable. Brilliant. And I would be happy to take him off your hands, but I need him for somethin' else. And as an even further notice, I don't remember drivin into this city and seein' a big ol' label up sayin' 'Property of Angelus, reigning pathetic vampire. No bleedin' tresspassin. So, with that said, Spike, need to talk to you, and Angel, I'll get the bleedin' hell outta *your* city when I want to." Angel didn't notice her slip the knife into the pocket of her black leather jacket.
"Okay, then can I ask what the hell you're doing here? Besides taking off my hands a vampire who could have gotten a PhD in pissing me off?" Angel asked, sitting back down. Lex shrugged and took the seat facing Angel's desk. She casually put her feet up on the desk, relaxing.
"Fine then. Guess we could have a little chat. What am I doin' in LA, or your joke-evil law firm?" She cocked one thin eyebrow at the other vampire, who sat up.
"Both." He folded his arms across his chest.
"Well, that's not too unreasonable. I'm here in LA to come to said law firm. And I come to said law firm to find said obnoxious vampire. No offense, babe." She told the peroxide blonde vampire, leaning against the wall, amused at his old friend challenging his sire in such a tasteful manner.
"None taken. Please, continue." He smirked, eyes trailing over her body.
"Right. I also came 'ere to find another friend of mine who can help me out with a li'l trifle of a problem I've been havin."
"Which would be?" Angel prompted.
"It's personal, babe. And as much as I respect your evil half and am amused by your souled half, I don't exactly know you well enough to wanna share."
"Well this wouldn't be causing any trouble for me, would it? Because if it does, I might have to kill you now."
"Real cute, babe. If you were to try, I'd probably have a higher probability of dying laughing at you than dying at your hand. And the answer is it will not be causing you any direct harm. Nothin' you need to worry 'bout." Lex grinned cockily at the brooding vampire.
"Somehow I doubt that."
"Well I'm not goin' after you, babe, or your firm, so you can relax."
"What about the apocalypse? That could be a problem too." Angel growled. This girl was pissing him off.
"What about it? I've given up on that. I myself tend to like the plain old terror and destruction ideas better than the big bang. Not only does it fend a lotta buggersome bits off, but it's a lot more fun and ensures my existence. See what I'm sayin?"
"Lex likes to go after-" Spike started.
"I know what she likes to go after, Spike. I've done my research." Lex hopped up and walked around the desk to Angel's chair. She brushed her hand over the top, relishing the feel of the leather.
"Research? I'm flattered, babe. Once again, that's just plain adorable. Don't you think he's adorable, Spike?" Lex asked, grabbing Angel's jaw. Spike laughed.
"Real cute, luv. Now can we hurry this up? I kind of want to get out of here, if you know what I'm sayin."
"Spike, we got all eternity to go kill shit. And seein' as this is my first encounter with the feared Angelus, I wanna make it memorable." She assured him with a wink of her dark eyes. Angel grabbed her wrist and twisted it into his grip, standing up. Lex giggled.
"You're so sweet, babe." She twisted her arm out, grabbed his forearm and yanked it roughly behind his back with more force than Angel could have imagined she had. Angel struggled, but her strength overpowered him. Lex leaned down to whisper lightly in Angel's ear.
"Look, babe. Answering your previous question honestly, I'd absolutely love to piss you off and have you as my main focus, but frankly you just aren't enough of a challenge for me right now. And make sure you keep that nice face of yours the way it is, babe. It'd be a shame to waste someone as lovely and helpless as you. So do what you do best, babe, and help the helpless. Just let me do what I need to get done here and then you can worry all you want about the buggering lil humans I'm gonna kill, and all the destruction upon this fair country I'm gonna inflict. But before we get there, just sit back and relax for a little while. Your problems now are gonna be a lot smaller than all the vexations you're gonna have later." Lex let go of his arm, and pressed him back up against the wall. With that and one little smile, she turned to the smiling Spike.
The lanky brunette winked at Spike and nodded her head at the door. He walked out, and Lex watched him go.
"Thanks again, mate." She winked at Angel and pulled the door closed as she exited. Angel was fuming. Who was she to walk in to his office, act like she owned the place, act like she owned him, Spike, the town, and could stride on out without even handing him the only knife you could use to kill a Vexlon demon. Where was that knife, anyway? Where'd she put it down? Angel searched the office for a couple of minutes before it clicked.
"That little bitch." Angel muttered, dashing toward the door. That was the only one he had left. He looked around for the two vampires, but didn't see them anywhere. He turned back to Harmony's desk.
"Harmony, did you see Spike and another vampire come out of my office a minute ago?"
"Well duh. They just left five minutes ago. Why didn't you go after them then?"
"Because Lex has my last Vexlon knife and I need it back. Those things are rare and expensive. So I thought she put it down but it's gone."
"Oh. Is that your friend? Lex? Weird name. I didn't like her. She seems strange."
"She is and I've actually never met her before today now where were they going?"
"Didn't say."
"What? Harmony, that thing is worth almost twenty thousand dollars I need it! For once in your life, think!"
"Like they'd tell me? That's not Spike's ex, is it?" Before she knew it, Angel was already gone.
~*~
"Lie lie lie liar you lie lie lie lie I think you're funny you're funny ha ha I don't need it don't need your blah blah should've realised I know what you areyou're in SUSPENSION you're a LIAR you're a LIAR you're a LIE LIE LIE LIE!"
Lex and Spike sang along to Never Mind the Bollocks in Angel's stolen Viper, Lex driving, Spike enjoying a smoke. As Sid Vicious began to fade away and the song 'Problems' came on, Spike turned to Lex after a long drag of his cigarette.
"So, what do you really need me for, Lex? I don't think it's just something ordinary, you work solo. What's going on?"
"I'm gonna do it, Spike. I'm getting rid of it once and for all. Then I'm free."
"Lex, uh, what do you need me for for this?"
"Spike, I'm not just gettin' rid of a soul, babe, it's a little different than your situation. I'm getting rid of all that was ever good inside 'o me. And the way it's gonna happen I'm gonna need an anchor. Somebody I trust, someone who can back me up when it comes down to the actual ripping out of my Slayer impulses. It's bloody dangerous, babe, I need you to help me out."
Spike was touched, honored, but something was wrong with it.
"Lex, have you thought about this? This isn't just dangerous for you, when you get rid of your impulse, it's gonna hurt people when you start really killing."
"But it's better than what's happening to me now, Spike. I can't take this anymore. It's borrowed, it comes and goes, fluctuatin' and jus pissin me off. I can't stand it anymore, it's making me insane, babe, don't you see? I need to get rid of it."
"I won't help you get rid of it, Lex, I think it's a bad idea. You made a mistake in coming here."
"Thought you might say that." Lex replied. "Hate to do this to ya, babe."
"Do what?" Spike asked. Lex swerved the car over off the road, bringing it to a halt. She yanked out of her pocket the Vexlon dagger, quickly sprinkled an orange powder over it and thrust it into Spike's chest. Spike roared in pain, as a flash hit him, and he felt something being sucked out of himself through the wound. Lex held the knife deep in his chest, waited until the flash passed through his eyes, and yanked the knife out.
"B-b-bloody hell, woman!" Spike spat out, clutching his chest. "What did you do?" He asked softly. Without a word, Lex took a hold of the blade of the dagger, and snapped it in two. A soft sparkle of the dust fluttered as it broke, and she threw the pieces of the knife in the back of the Viper.
"I know how hard you worked to get it, Spike, but I really need this. Sorry, babe."
Spike stared down, shocked, his hand clutching the open wound, till he finally looked up at her, smiling. "No problem at all, babe. Let's rock n' roll!" He shouted, blaring the volume up on the cd. Lex grinned and tore away in the Viper.
AN: Review! Or you will never know what Lex did to Spike... and you wont get to read all the good shit i have planned. and that would make you very sad. stan: thats okay with us. mr garrison: no it isnt it makes you very sad! lol south park kicks ass.. yeah. review.