Disclaimer: I don't own "Ragnarok," on Netflix or any of its characters, wishful thinking aside.
Authors Note #1: Inspired by: babyboy-laurits on tumblr, who had a post talking about how someday Erik is going to wake up in a cold sweat and realize why Magne and Laurits are constantly asking him about Norse mythology. I decided to go the route that Erik is also the reincarnation of Mimir and this is how he figured everything out after the events of 2.06.
Warnings: ptsd, drama, angst, transformation, reference to loss of a child, depression, reincarnation, season 3 au. If I reincarnated the grey well into a mug of tea that is my business.
Historical Vandalism
Chapter One
"Hey, I wondered if you could help me, about Thor?"
He groaned; eyes open behind closed lids. There was a low light beyond them. Enough to tell him dawn had broken over the mountains. Normally, he'd be on a run already. But for the past week, well- he'd be lying if he didn't admit the idea made him feel mildly homicidal.
"Why is it of such particular interest to talk about the old Norse gods? Especially right here in Edda?"
He wasn't sleeping well.
No. He wasn't sleeping at all.
There was something restless in his bones. A feeling that lingered like a headache. It was distracting. And it was happening more and more as he tried to finish lessons plans for the next semester. Still not sure what to do with the fact that he'd found himself up at three in the morning a few days ago. Staring at the blinking cursor of his laptop. Realizing he'd written an entire literary paper he had no memory of typing.
It was as if he'd blacked out.
He didn't remember anything.
None of it.
But the title: "Nordic Mythology in the Modern Era: An examination of the personality and portrayals of the Norse Gods through the lens of the 21st Century," ended up being so compelling he'd submitted it for peer review. Mollified, as he sifted through his notes, to find he'd been in the middle of marking one of Magne's catch up assignments when the inspiration had struck.
"Ragnarok. The end of the world. The final clash between the Gods and the Giants. The Gods represented law and order, and the Giant's chaos. The balance of the world depended on the struggle between them. But the Gods were betrayed and died, and what happened to the Giants? We don't know. Kind of exciting, huh?"
He levered himself upright. Kicking the tangled sheets away from where they'd looped into a tourniquet around his thigh. Mind jumping sideways through a jumble of memories from the past year. It was like an itch. Something kept bringing him back to-
"...Loki is one of the most exciting in the whole mythology..."
He frowned, hands resting on his knees as he paused in the act of standing. Mattress pinging. He hadn't been able to stop coming back to each moment in turn. Like he was missing something. Finding himself in the same godforsaken loop again and again and it was driving him-
The shrill of his alarm clock startled him so badly he almost slipped off the edge of the bed. The hair on the back of his neck prickled. Right foot ginger with pins and needles. Unable to shake the feeling he had been this close to understanding something earth shatteringly important.
He blinked as the idea sank in. Feeling ridiculous. Huffing a laugh and shaking his head as he ran a hand through his hair. Jiggling the static out of his foot.
What could he be missing?
Nothing, obviously.
There was nothing.
He really needed to get some sleep tonight.
"Did you hear what happened to the Jutuls' car? It's completely destroyed. Like- bam! Something went right through it. Front to back. It basically exploded!"
"Holy shit! Really? They weren't in it...were they?"
"No. No, it was parked somewhere. My dad towed it to the junk yard. Said it was totaled. What the hell is going on with that family, huh? I mean, remember earlier this year? When someone threw a hammer through Mr. Jutuls' windshield? Guess they knew something before the rest of us."
His head came up over the bottled water as he caught the conversation from the till at the supermarket. He put a couple more bottles in his basket on reflex. Like counting rosary beads. As if the Jutuls' name was contagious. He frowned as the group of kids kept chatting. Gossiping about the damage.
A hammer?
The moment with Magne outside the cemetery flashed like double vision.
"Thor is nothing without his hammer."
He shook himself. That didn't even make sense. He was trying to make a connection where there wasn't one. Discomfort was a rash in of itself as he decided the weird thoughts were just sleep deprivation. He needed a solid night's sleep. That was all.
His lips thinned over his teeth as he glanced at a display of sleeping aids. Sighing as he remembered how the last few nights had gone. Truth was, he might need something more than a cup of tea before bed to help him get there. He still had a few pills from the prescription the doctor had pressed into his hands the night- the night-
No matter, he'd take one and get himself sorted out.
He walked outside in a daze. Bags bumping his legs in an awkward tempo. But when he got to his car, he stalled there. Staring at the side. Remembering how Magne had shoved it aside. He shouldn't have been able to do that. Magne was strong, but moving the car with a single push was impossible.
There was a fog on those memories that was gradually lifting. Something that was more systemic than grief and loss. It was like a part of him was waking up. Shaking off the dust and cobwebs to see things as they were. Good or ill. Right or wrong. Convenient or-
He slowed, shoes dragging on the asphalt.
Why hadn't he thought more about that?
He'd watched Magne do it.
He'd-
The scream of tires made him jerk his shopping bags. Looking up just in time to jump to the side. Barely avoiding getting side-swiped by a van with Jutul Industries emblazoned across it.
"Get off the road, idiot! You're gonna lose your head!" The driver shouted, flipping him the bird as the van peeled onto the street.
You're going to lose your head.
You're going to lose your head.
You're going to lose your head.
You're going to lose your-
"Erik? Are you okay?"
His fist clenched around the knot of grocery bags. Looking up to see Magne crossing towards him. Shit. He really hadn't been paying attention. The parking lot had been empty a minute ago. Hadn't it?
"Fine," he answered, trying to summon a smile. "I'm not sure what their problem is. I was just- standing here. They were the one driving like an asshole."
Magne directed a glare at the retreating van before picking up the bag he'd dropped. Making him feel justified in his strong words as he fumbled with the trunk.
"I have another question," Magne broke in. Making him think he'd missed something for a long beat before he remembered this was how Magne's mind worked. "About Thor?"
His lips twitched, pleased. It was good to see Magne so interested in their mythology. He couldn't blame him for fixating on Thor. Especially considering the way Hollywood and Marvel had reinvented the legends – especially lately. It seemed like every time he turned around there was a new movie or tv show.
"The assignment I gave you was about how their belief structure effected daily life when the worship of the Gods was being practiced," he reminded, seeing something that was patently familiar on every teenager's face. The 'tell me something I do know" expression.
Magne nodded quickly, hair feathering over his eyes before he pushed it back. The movement highlighted the muscles in his bicep, making him frown. When had that happened? It had barely been a year since they'd moved back to Edda. He could have sworn only a few months ago Magne had been-
"What did you want to know?" he asked instead. Filing the thought away for later as he set the bags in the trunk. Shaking away the marks the plastic had made across his palms. Isolde would have told him it served him right. He'd forgotten the cloth ones at home.
"It's about the other Gods. The Gods Thor went into battle with? I've read about Baldur, Freyja, Tyr, Loki and Odin. Other creatures. But there had to be others, right?"
He nodded.
"There were. Thor had a way of pulling people close to him. If he gave you his loyalty, it was because you'd shown him the same. He kept his word and his honor above all else. Even when he got rowdy, it always circled back to Thor doing the right thing - or trying to. He led by example and that inspired a lot of people. Gods and heroes. Even the Giants, when they weren't at war with each other. In the mythology, you'd think that Odin, as the powerful father figure, would be more in focus. But it's Thor that dominates the majority of the narrative. Often, we learn of the other Gods through their association with him, rather than independently. I think that says a lot."
"Which ones?" Magne asked immediately.
He opened his mouth to reply, but before he could list off what came to mind, something made him stop. Suddenly wondering why it had taken him so long to ask.
"Why do you want to know?"
Magne's expression shifted. Like he was chewing on the reason. Not wanting to say but being so honest in general it was a habit. Meaning, he got to watch him side-step the question in real time. Expression an open book.
"It's important," Magne finally muttered. Scuffing his boot in the dirt.
"Why is it important?" he pressed, taking an aborted step forward. Living in the middle of that feeling again. The one where he felt this close to figuring it all out. Like all he needed was one little push and he'd be there. "Magne?"
The moment fractured when an old man with an eye-patch, driving a mobility scooter, came around the other side of his car and jerked to a stop. Putting him in the middle as the man and Magne shared a look.
He cleared his throat, inadvertently drawing the older man's attention. Confused when the man's remaining eye widened slightly. Expression weaponized into a mask so smooth he was jealous of the man's ability to compartmentalize.
"Hello?" he replied, voice rough. Trying to sound like he wasn't actively falling apart. Uncomfortable as the moment dragged and all they did was stare. "Do you two know each other?"
But instead of answering, the man on the scooter simply looked at Magne significantly before nodding. Something passing between them before the man looked at him again. Staring him up and down before-
"It has been a long time, my friend," the old man intoned. "You have been missed. There is much to say, and we are in great need of your council."
He blinked. What?
But Magne turned, staring at him with ancient eyes. Face less guarded this time as he looked at him like he was seeing something take shape in real time. Watching his expression go from shock to relief. Reminding him of the moment he'd pulled Magne in for a hug neither of them knew they needed until it was happening.
"Oookkkay," he muttered, nonplused. Rubbing distractedly at his neck as the skin around his throat prickled like a sun burn. Deciding the man probably lived at the old age home down the street and wasn't 'all there'. "That's nice. I- I have to go now."
A hand came down on his shoulder, making him flinch. But he shook it off.
"No," he grated, shaking his head. Hackles up. "No. I'm sorry, Magne. I can't do this right now. I just- can't. We'll talk later. Not now. I'm not- I don't know what's wrong with me. I-I need to go home."
It was an overshare, but he couldn't stop himself. Feeling unsettled as the underside of his skin itched with restless acidity. Making him swallow once, twice, trying to get rid of the burn.
"Tonight?" Magne asked, insistent.
"Tonight. Sure," he repeated without thinking. Fumbling with his keys. Just needing to end the conversation. To get away. Because there was something about the way Magne was looking at him that made him wary.
It was the kind of feeling you avoid for as long as possible because you know nothing will be the same after.
It didn't make sense.
But it didn't have to.
It was an emotional instinct.
And right now, whatever Magne wanted was something he needed to avoid.
It wasn't until he was backing out of the stall that he realized the man on the scooter had vanished.
Not Magne, though. Magne watched him until a turn mercifully blocked him from view.
But somehow, he still didn't feel alone inside his own head.
A/N: Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think. – There will be one more chapter.