I am in so much pain. Writing this chapter was like pulling teeth, then sharpening them on steel blades and using them to shave off my own corneas. And I LIKE my corneas, too.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, and receive many endorphins from your patient, deserving brainmeats. I tried to contact you, bakurakrazie, but I couldn't get a hold of ya. So you ain't in this. Sowwy.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was approximately four AM the next morning when Bast awoke to a pair of fingers pinching her nose shut. She snorted blearily; ready to doom whomever it was that dared interrupt her fandream-filled slumber. "Ugh... zuh... feelmuh wrathhhzzz...." She mumbled, swinging out a sleepy fist.
"Bast! Wake up, consarn it!" Kat shook her back and forth, snapping her into reality.
"Kat??" Bast said, her foggy brain still trying to awaken. "You are the dreaded nose pincher!?"
"You're a marshmallow peep!?" CryingChild said, poking her head into Bast's field of vision.
"Not now, CC" Said Kat.
"It's not just Kat." Dragon said, "It's all of us!" And as Bast squinted, she was able to make out the nine figures of her fellow fangirls, all huddled in a circle around her.
"Yeah," Said Ztar, "Waking up this early is no problem if your roommate sleep-screams."
"I can't help my Squeelike nightmares, mmkay?" KidK replied.
"Someone had better explain why I'm conscious right now, because if they don't I'm gonna start bustin' heads." Said Bast.
"Don't be such a baby." Idgie said. "Sleep is evil, right?"
Bast took a deep breath, and calmly explained that she felt she may have been to hasty in her past judgment of sleep, and that she wished to explore this possibility further, preferably alone and in a dark, quiet environment. She then fell back and began snoring. The Slayer slapped her until she woke up.
"Come on, Bast-Chan." Mel said, not even knowing what 'Chan' meant, "We have to hurry!"
"We figure the line to meet Jhonen is going to be a jillion miles long," Quin explained, "So we want to get there REAL frickin' early."
Bast's brain had now awakened a bit more, and she realized that being the first to meet Jhonen was quite the tempting prospect. "I'll need coffee."
"Already taken care of!" CryingChild said, standing by Bast's in-room coffeepot. A few minutes later they had made it to the convention hall. They approached the doors, congratulating themselves on their brilliant idea of getting up early to wait in line. Then they walked through the doors and learned that everyone else in the hotel had the same brilliant idea. They sighed and groaned, taking their places at the end of a gargantuan line.
"Arrrrgh! Frustration!" Ztar screamed, grinding her teeth.
"Hold me higher! I still can't see!" Mel said from atop KidK's shoulders.
"No." KidK said. "My career as a stepladder is officially over." She set her back on the ground.
"Wahahaha, your height is useless to you!" Dragon cackled. She and CryingChild gave each other high fives.
"Aww, you're just jealous because I'LL get to shake Jhonen's hand, and you'll have to say hello to his kneecap." Kat replied.
"There sure are a lot of people here." Idgie said. "I haven't seen such a collection of misfits and misanthropes since the last LotR movie was playing in the same theater as the Harry Potter movie, X2 and the Matrix Reloaded."
"That is one out-of-date theater." Observed Quin
"Yes. Yes it is."
The line moved slightly and the fangirls shifted. Mel became excited. "Hey! There's a gap opening in the crowd! Put me on your shoulders again for a minute."
"No way!" KidK cried. "I want to go a few more years without needing my spine replaced."
"I'll lift you." Said The Slayer. "But keep your feet out of my ears, that's where I hide my candy."
And so, Mel once got a shoulder's eye view of the convention hall. Still, she mostly saw the backs of a bunch of heads. For a moment, she despaired, but then, she got just the slightest glimpse of something that made her fall over backwards with a sharp gasp. Unfortunately, since the line had filled up fast behind the tensome, they were crammed together like pocky in a box. (I'm sick of that damn sardines metaphor.) Anyhoo, Mel tumbled to the ground, taking The Slayer with her, as well as several innocent bystanders, falling one by one like some mad set of dominos. A tiny pocket of chaos erupted.
"Skveesh!" cried a twelve year old girl in metallic lime green clothing. "You broke my lucky sphincter!"
"Sorry. Gravity's a JERK!" Quin said. "You look vaguely familiar."
"Mah name be Twisted Toaster." Said the lime girl. She then cackled maniacally for hours. But we won't go into that.
"I'm gonna tie my shoe for the next twenty minutes. You let me know if the line moves." Said CryingChild, turning to the ground.
"I feel pain!" Said another injured party, a crazy-looking girl in black "Don't let the clothing fool you- I don't like pain!"
"Sorry, sorry. Apologies for everyone!" Quin raised her hands into the air as if making some huge, official proclamation.
"Okay then. As long as you apologized." The nameless girl said. "Say, could you save my place in line while I go wash the blood off my clothes? My brain is hemorrhaging quite nicely at the moment." As she headed for the little fangirls room, she tripped over CryingChild.
"Ow! Why does it hurt!?" CryingChild looked up at the humanoid that had fallen on top of her and gasped. "It's you! You're-"
"Popcorn!" a passing vendor shouted. "Somebody buy my popcorn! My son needs a kidney, you heartless bastards!"
("Pardon me a second." Ztar said, chasing the stalking vendor with a large stick.)
"...Yeah. Just call me Galadriel Weasely here." The not-nameless-anymore girl said.
"No way am I doing all those damn syllables." Said CryingChild "I'll call you monkfish."
"How about GW?"
"Whatevah. Just as long as I still get me some monkfish. That's a nice head wound you have, by the way."
"I'll be fine. Not dying- it's one of the perks of being immortal."
"Hey..." Bast said, as CryingChild flagged down a monkfish vendor. "What did you see, Mel? I mean, what made you fall?"
Mel looked stunned. "Well, I mean... I know this sounds weird but... it was like. There were people there but... they weren't people. They were in costume or something but it wasn't... I mean, it looked all..."
"SPIT IT OUT, KNAVE!" Cried Dragon.
"IThinkThereReallyWereIZCharactersUpThereDon'tHurtMe!" Mel cringed.
"What?" cried Idgie.
"Oh COOL!" Said the Twisted Toaster, who was still listening in on them and had to be subdued with a brainfreezy.
"Don't be crazier than you usually are." CryingChild said. "How could they really be here?"
"Magic? Is it magic? I'm guessing magic." The Slayer hopped up and down like a looney bird as she spoke.
KidK bent down to her. "Mel, maybe you just saw a poster or a TV screen and got confused."
"Maybe..." Mel sounded very unconvinced.
After that, a few more attempts were made to see what was going on at the beginning of the line, but all met with failure and skinned knees. Eventually they decided they'd find out what was going on when they made it to the front of the line. IF they ever made it, that is- the line seemed to be less of a line and more of a prep course for the eternity of darkness that awaited our ten heroes in limbo, should they ever decide to vacation there. Still, they made the best of their doomy fate- they stood in line, laughing and talking about various subjects. Subjects such as Jpop, cheesemonkeys, spaceships, sadism, evil bunnies, good bunnies, evil but misunderstood bunnies, the incredibly strange creatures that stopped living and became mixed up zombies, secret societies, non-secret societies, magic powers, toast, mail order organs, candy, furi kuri, stage blood, intestines, vampires, werewolves, werecats, weremongooses, where's waldo and corn.
They had quoting contests and compared their levels of obsessiveness:
"I once drew Happy Noodle Boy scenes all over every pair of pants I owned, and when I ran out of pants I started to use my brother's pants, and he punched my head when he caught me."
"I once took apart my sandwich at lunch and rearranged the pieces so that it looked like Prof. Membrane's head, but then I couldn't eat it, because it looked like Prof. Membrane's head, so I carried it around with me until it smelled so bad that my mom made me throw it out."
"I once ate an issue of SQUEE, in order to become one with it."
They told jokes and talked about problems with fanfiction:
"My favorite author never updates! I e-mail her and e-mail her, but still nothing!"
"Some idiot keeps e-mailing me, telling me to update my fics! Mommy, make her stop!"
"THE PAIN! SWEET JEEBUS THE PAIN!"
They traded comics and talked about obscure characters:
"Tallest Spork owns all your souls!"
"Fah! That alien fuzzelbutt is nothing compared to Bitey!"
"Hooray for the guy who lives next to Zim and has an electrode in his head! Hooray!"
And so on, and so on, and so on. They conversed long into the afternoon. They had so much enjoyment that after a few hours they forgot they were even waiting in a line. Or at least, they would have if it weren't for the fact that every so often, someone would mention how they could hardly wait to se Jhonen...
At last the moment arrived. And, as the fangirls approached the autograph table, they saw something that the readers knew was coming since chapter one, yet still came as an incredible shock to them. Jhonen was there, of course, as well as a few others they expected, Steve, Roman, Richard etc. But once they'd past these idols, they saw a bizarre mixture of animation and reality, ala Who Framed Roger Rabbit. They were all there, Zim, Gaz, Miss Bitters, The Letter M, Nny, Fillerbunny- all of Jhonen's creations. And they weren't just signing autographs... The closer the fangirls got, the more they saw. Some character had gotten into fistfights with their own fans, others were being clung to, and some seemed to even be enjoying the experience. As the tensome walked in blissful amazement into the sea of candy colored cartoons and wild action, the moment froze forever in their memories.
You might say it was immortalized.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stay tuned for the epilogue!
Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, and receive many endorphins from your patient, deserving brainmeats. I tried to contact you, bakurakrazie, but I couldn't get a hold of ya. So you ain't in this. Sowwy.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was approximately four AM the next morning when Bast awoke to a pair of fingers pinching her nose shut. She snorted blearily; ready to doom whomever it was that dared interrupt her fandream-filled slumber. "Ugh... zuh... feelmuh wrathhhzzz...." She mumbled, swinging out a sleepy fist.
"Bast! Wake up, consarn it!" Kat shook her back and forth, snapping her into reality.
"Kat??" Bast said, her foggy brain still trying to awaken. "You are the dreaded nose pincher!?"
"You're a marshmallow peep!?" CryingChild said, poking her head into Bast's field of vision.
"Not now, CC" Said Kat.
"It's not just Kat." Dragon said, "It's all of us!" And as Bast squinted, she was able to make out the nine figures of her fellow fangirls, all huddled in a circle around her.
"Yeah," Said Ztar, "Waking up this early is no problem if your roommate sleep-screams."
"I can't help my Squeelike nightmares, mmkay?" KidK replied.
"Someone had better explain why I'm conscious right now, because if they don't I'm gonna start bustin' heads." Said Bast.
"Don't be such a baby." Idgie said. "Sleep is evil, right?"
Bast took a deep breath, and calmly explained that she felt she may have been to hasty in her past judgment of sleep, and that she wished to explore this possibility further, preferably alone and in a dark, quiet environment. She then fell back and began snoring. The Slayer slapped her until she woke up.
"Come on, Bast-Chan." Mel said, not even knowing what 'Chan' meant, "We have to hurry!"
"We figure the line to meet Jhonen is going to be a jillion miles long," Quin explained, "So we want to get there REAL frickin' early."
Bast's brain had now awakened a bit more, and she realized that being the first to meet Jhonen was quite the tempting prospect. "I'll need coffee."
"Already taken care of!" CryingChild said, standing by Bast's in-room coffeepot. A few minutes later they had made it to the convention hall. They approached the doors, congratulating themselves on their brilliant idea of getting up early to wait in line. Then they walked through the doors and learned that everyone else in the hotel had the same brilliant idea. They sighed and groaned, taking their places at the end of a gargantuan line.
"Arrrrgh! Frustration!" Ztar screamed, grinding her teeth.
"Hold me higher! I still can't see!" Mel said from atop KidK's shoulders.
"No." KidK said. "My career as a stepladder is officially over." She set her back on the ground.
"Wahahaha, your height is useless to you!" Dragon cackled. She and CryingChild gave each other high fives.
"Aww, you're just jealous because I'LL get to shake Jhonen's hand, and you'll have to say hello to his kneecap." Kat replied.
"There sure are a lot of people here." Idgie said. "I haven't seen such a collection of misfits and misanthropes since the last LotR movie was playing in the same theater as the Harry Potter movie, X2 and the Matrix Reloaded."
"That is one out-of-date theater." Observed Quin
"Yes. Yes it is."
The line moved slightly and the fangirls shifted. Mel became excited. "Hey! There's a gap opening in the crowd! Put me on your shoulders again for a minute."
"No way!" KidK cried. "I want to go a few more years without needing my spine replaced."
"I'll lift you." Said The Slayer. "But keep your feet out of my ears, that's where I hide my candy."
And so, Mel once got a shoulder's eye view of the convention hall. Still, she mostly saw the backs of a bunch of heads. For a moment, she despaired, but then, she got just the slightest glimpse of something that made her fall over backwards with a sharp gasp. Unfortunately, since the line had filled up fast behind the tensome, they were crammed together like pocky in a box. (I'm sick of that damn sardines metaphor.) Anyhoo, Mel tumbled to the ground, taking The Slayer with her, as well as several innocent bystanders, falling one by one like some mad set of dominos. A tiny pocket of chaos erupted.
"Skveesh!" cried a twelve year old girl in metallic lime green clothing. "You broke my lucky sphincter!"
"Sorry. Gravity's a JERK!" Quin said. "You look vaguely familiar."
"Mah name be Twisted Toaster." Said the lime girl. She then cackled maniacally for hours. But we won't go into that.
"I'm gonna tie my shoe for the next twenty minutes. You let me know if the line moves." Said CryingChild, turning to the ground.
"I feel pain!" Said another injured party, a crazy-looking girl in black "Don't let the clothing fool you- I don't like pain!"
"Sorry, sorry. Apologies for everyone!" Quin raised her hands into the air as if making some huge, official proclamation.
"Okay then. As long as you apologized." The nameless girl said. "Say, could you save my place in line while I go wash the blood off my clothes? My brain is hemorrhaging quite nicely at the moment." As she headed for the little fangirls room, she tripped over CryingChild.
"Ow! Why does it hurt!?" CryingChild looked up at the humanoid that had fallen on top of her and gasped. "It's you! You're-"
"Popcorn!" a passing vendor shouted. "Somebody buy my popcorn! My son needs a kidney, you heartless bastards!"
("Pardon me a second." Ztar said, chasing the stalking vendor with a large stick.)
"...Yeah. Just call me Galadriel Weasely here." The not-nameless-anymore girl said.
"No way am I doing all those damn syllables." Said CryingChild "I'll call you monkfish."
"How about GW?"
"Whatevah. Just as long as I still get me some monkfish. That's a nice head wound you have, by the way."
"I'll be fine. Not dying- it's one of the perks of being immortal."
"Hey..." Bast said, as CryingChild flagged down a monkfish vendor. "What did you see, Mel? I mean, what made you fall?"
Mel looked stunned. "Well, I mean... I know this sounds weird but... it was like. There were people there but... they weren't people. They were in costume or something but it wasn't... I mean, it looked all..."
"SPIT IT OUT, KNAVE!" Cried Dragon.
"IThinkThereReallyWereIZCharactersUpThereDon'tHurtMe!" Mel cringed.
"What?" cried Idgie.
"Oh COOL!" Said the Twisted Toaster, who was still listening in on them and had to be subdued with a brainfreezy.
"Don't be crazier than you usually are." CryingChild said. "How could they really be here?"
"Magic? Is it magic? I'm guessing magic." The Slayer hopped up and down like a looney bird as she spoke.
KidK bent down to her. "Mel, maybe you just saw a poster or a TV screen and got confused."
"Maybe..." Mel sounded very unconvinced.
After that, a few more attempts were made to see what was going on at the beginning of the line, but all met with failure and skinned knees. Eventually they decided they'd find out what was going on when they made it to the front of the line. IF they ever made it, that is- the line seemed to be less of a line and more of a prep course for the eternity of darkness that awaited our ten heroes in limbo, should they ever decide to vacation there. Still, they made the best of their doomy fate- they stood in line, laughing and talking about various subjects. Subjects such as Jpop, cheesemonkeys, spaceships, sadism, evil bunnies, good bunnies, evil but misunderstood bunnies, the incredibly strange creatures that stopped living and became mixed up zombies, secret societies, non-secret societies, magic powers, toast, mail order organs, candy, furi kuri, stage blood, intestines, vampires, werewolves, werecats, weremongooses, where's waldo and corn.
They had quoting contests and compared their levels of obsessiveness:
"I once drew Happy Noodle Boy scenes all over every pair of pants I owned, and when I ran out of pants I started to use my brother's pants, and he punched my head when he caught me."
"I once took apart my sandwich at lunch and rearranged the pieces so that it looked like Prof. Membrane's head, but then I couldn't eat it, because it looked like Prof. Membrane's head, so I carried it around with me until it smelled so bad that my mom made me throw it out."
"I once ate an issue of SQUEE, in order to become one with it."
They told jokes and talked about problems with fanfiction:
"My favorite author never updates! I e-mail her and e-mail her, but still nothing!"
"Some idiot keeps e-mailing me, telling me to update my fics! Mommy, make her stop!"
"THE PAIN! SWEET JEEBUS THE PAIN!"
They traded comics and talked about obscure characters:
"Tallest Spork owns all your souls!"
"Fah! That alien fuzzelbutt is nothing compared to Bitey!"
"Hooray for the guy who lives next to Zim and has an electrode in his head! Hooray!"
And so on, and so on, and so on. They conversed long into the afternoon. They had so much enjoyment that after a few hours they forgot they were even waiting in a line. Or at least, they would have if it weren't for the fact that every so often, someone would mention how they could hardly wait to se Jhonen...
At last the moment arrived. And, as the fangirls approached the autograph table, they saw something that the readers knew was coming since chapter one, yet still came as an incredible shock to them. Jhonen was there, of course, as well as a few others they expected, Steve, Roman, Richard etc. But once they'd past these idols, they saw a bizarre mixture of animation and reality, ala Who Framed Roger Rabbit. They were all there, Zim, Gaz, Miss Bitters, The Letter M, Nny, Fillerbunny- all of Jhonen's creations. And they weren't just signing autographs... The closer the fangirls got, the more they saw. Some character had gotten into fistfights with their own fans, others were being clung to, and some seemed to even be enjoying the experience. As the tensome walked in blissful amazement into the sea of candy colored cartoons and wild action, the moment froze forever in their memories.
You might say it was immortalized.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stay tuned for the epilogue!