TW: Lewis, drug induced psychosis (mild)/PTSD reference, slight self-harm.

An idea that was floating around my head re: Wheatley targeting Olivia and Olivia being forced to eventually have THAT conversation with Elliot. May not be everyone's cup of tea, heed the TW.

Happy reading!

She was spiraling.

Her hands fisted themselves in her hair as she paced back and forth in her office. She could hear Fin, Amanda and Carisi banging on her door and screaming her name but god, it sounded so distant. The more they tried to reach her, the more she tried to ground herself to the present, the further away she felt herself drifting. Drifting through both memories and nightmares past, her state of mind wavering between reality and some fucked up dream world. As she brought her fists down to her sides, she attempted to open her eyes again, praying that she would be staring at nothing but the picture frames and accommodations that littered her wooden walls. But no. He was still there. That jagged scar along his cheek blending into his eerie grin…

God-fucking-dammit.

She let out a frustrated scream as she closed her eyes again, hitting herself in the head with her fists. Backing herself up against the nearest wall, she slid down until she was crouched on the floor.

He's not real, he's not real, he's not real…

"Liv! Open the door!"

Logically, she knew that was Fin. He's been trying to break down her barricade for the past twenty minutes, but no matter how inconceivable the thought, she could not shake that somehow Fin's voice sounded way too much like him. It's him. She couldn't open the door. She just couldn't risk it. Opening the door was how she came face to face with him in the first place. That door stays closed.

"Go away!" She screamed in a voice unfamiliar to herself. "Please just go away!"

"Liv, listen to me. You're gonna be ok, just let us help you."

"No! Leave me alone!" She howled.

Covering her ears with her hands, she curled into herself and began rocking back and forth to self-soothe.

"Olivia…"

Her heart continued to pound within her chest; so ridiculously loud that she couldn't believe she was hearing his taunting voice over the rhythm. Instinctively, she kicked her foot out in front of her, somehow expecting to hit leg. When she didn't, she took a gamble at opening her eyes again.

And there he was.

Staring into her eyes, breathing heavily as he waved a bottle of vodka in her face.

"You thirsty, sweetheart?"

Making quick work of the traffic in the city, Elliot pulled into a parking space just outside of the 1-6. When Fin had called him, he assumed it was him asking to meet up for drinks with him and Phoebe; an offer he extended during his non-wedding. Nothing prepared Elliot for what had come tumbling out of his old co-worker's mouth.

"Hey Fin, what's up?"

"Stabler, you gotta come down here, man. Somethin's up with Liv."

Elliot froze, his pen hovering above the report he was writing, mid-sentence.

"Something's up? What do you-Is she ok?"

"I don't know. We think…we think it was the package." Fin said hesitantly.

Switching his phone to his left ear, he tucked it between his head and his shoulder as he stood from his desk and began collecting his belongings. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see his Sergeant, Ayanna, looking over curiously.

"Package, what package?"

"She got somethin' that was addressed from you. When she opened it, I don't know, there was some powder or something. It went all over her desk, she yelled for us to stay back and locked her office door. We can't get to her and she's really out of it, man."

"I didn't send her anything. Did you check the sign-in log downstairs?"

"Way ahead of you, man. It was dropped off by a delivery boy with the name W.H. Lee. Ring any bells?"

Closing his eyes, Elliot inhaled sharply, fighting the urge to punch his desk in front of his colleagues.

"Wheatley. He told me, Fin. He goddamn told me, and I didn't think…Shit. I'm coming. Tell Liv, I'll be right there."

As he hung up his call, he could see Ayanna walking over towards him. He met her worried eyes and rubbed a hand down his face haphazardly as he collected himself.

"It's Liv. Wheatley followed through and goddammit I knew. I knew I should have told her."

"Alright, beating yourself up won't help Stabler. What can we do?" Bell asked sincerely.

Looking around, Elliot could see that Washburn and Jet were watching him as well, seemingly waiting on his next move.

"Fin said…Fin said something about a powder and Liv being completely out of it. What do we know about Wheatley's drug arsenal? Aside from Purple Magic, do we know what other drugs he's created or sold?"

"I can find out," Jet offered from her desk station. "When there was a raid on his warehouse, they collected an assortment of drug paraphernalia. Text me when you're there and describe her symptoms. If I can narrow down the type of drug, I can let you know if there's a quick fix."

Ayanna nodded at Elliot, who was still standing at his desk somewhat immobile from shock.

"Stabler. Go."

Running over to the open elevator, he punched the floor for Special Victims and leaned back against the cool metal, trying to catch his breath. Fin had been texting him as he was driving, giving him a play by play of the situation as it was unfolding. From what he could tell, she was quickly devolving with no rock bottom in sight. As the doors opened, he could hear her terrified screams pierce the quiet floor. His swift stride became a jog as he approached the unit, Fin turning his head at the approaching steps.

"Stabler! It's about time, man."

"What's going on? How's Liv?"

"How does she sound?" An irritated blonde snarled from next to Fin.

"Rollins, cool it." Fin barked before turning back to Elliot. "She's been in and out of it, but it's when she's out of it that worries me. It's like there's no concept of time. She's just…floating in and out of years. In and out of memories. Bad ones."

Another horrified cry rang out throughout the unit, catching the attention of the remaining officers.

"That's it, we gotta get in there. Break the damn door down, the Chief can ream us out later." Rollins drawled, exasperated.

Fin sighed, motioning vaguely towards the office door.

"Look, I don't want to scare her further. She's in a bad place and I don't know what she'll do if we barge in there. She has her taser, she has her gun…if we appear to be anyone other than who she knows we are, she may go on the offensive. Hell, she might even hurt herself. That's why I called you, Elliot. I was hoping you could reach her, we gotta…we gotta get her to a hospital."

Carisi and Fin looked over at him expectantly and he nodded. He fished he phone out of his pocket, quickly swiping to Jet's contact number and handed it to Fin.

"Text her every symptom you've observed or see in Liv as we go. She's trying to narrow down the drug that Wheatley sent over."

As Fin grabbed the phone and began typing, Elliot walked towards the dark mahogany door cautiously, peering through its window. He could see her sitting in a corner, cowering from some unseen assailant.

"Liv? Liv it's me. Open the door, honey."

He could see her head pop up, her eyes remaining closed.

"El…Elliot? No, you're not Elliot. Elliot left, he's not…you're not here, get the fuck away from me!"

"Olivia, I swear it's me. I came back a few months ago, remember? Your award ceremony?"

He watched as she held her breath, seemingly taking in his words, allowing them to reverberate inside of her head. Slowly, she brought herself to a standing position and, with her hands in front of her, felt her way towards the door. She paused halfway, leaning against her desk.

"I can't…I can't, he's in here El."

"Who's there? Talk to me, Liv."

She whimpered, choking on a sob as she uttered his name.

"…Lewis."

As confusion fell over Elliot, he didn't miss the alarming facial expressions of Olivia's team. He could see the blonde detective, Rollins, reach for Carisi's hand as Fin quickly righted himself, his face becoming unreadable.

"Olivia, I promise it's just me here. Me and your team. We're all worried about you, we just want to help-"

"You can't fucking help me! No one can fucking help me, he's never going to leave me alone, he's never going to just fucking die."

As soon as the last word was out of her mouth, Elliot could see Olivia grab something from her desk. He saw the glint of metal in her lamp light and quickly threw himself at her door.

"Liv! Put it down! I'm not going to let anyone hurt you, I swear to god. Just put it down."

They all looked on in horror as Olivia played with the letter opener in her hand, not knowing what her next move would be. She held the opener out in front of her as she walked towards the door. Unlocking it, she quickly retreated towards the far corner of her office, her weapon steady in her hand.

"Get in. Lock the door."

Complying, Elliot slowly crossed through her doorway and closed the door behind him, nodding at Fin in reassurance as he locked it. He turned slowly, keeping his hands where Olivia could see them should she look at him. She began pacing, running her hand against the wall, to keep herself steady.

It's stifling. When did it become so hot in here? Groaning, she shrugged out of her brown leather suit jacket, a sheen of sweat beginning to cover her head and neck.

"How do I know you're really him? Elliot…Elliot left me years ago. Why should I believe you?"

Elliot recoiled slightly at her statement, hearing the pain in her words.

"Olivia, I-"

She opened her eyes and pushed herself off the wall then, coming to a stop right in front of him, the opener coming to rest right under his chin.

"You're not Elliot. He would never come back for me, he didn't come back for me."

"Just ask me, Liv. Ask me anything that Elliot would know."

He watched as Olivia struggled, her mind evidently having trouble processing his request. She ran her free hand through her damp curls bringing it around to the back of her neck to lift her hair up for some relief.

"When…when he left, he sent me something. What was it?"

"Trick question, I sent you two things. I gave you my Semper Fidelis medal…and a mini replica of my badge. I wanted you to know that I would always be there for you, Liv. Always-"

"Faithful…yeah I got the card."

Relieved, Elliot lowered his hands but stared warily as he saw her face scrunch up in anguish.

"I'm so scared, El…and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I was so goddamn weak. I lost your badge, you know that? It's tucked away in the fucking evidence locker on the bottom of my old service weapon and they won't give it back. It was all my fault, I fucking froze…you were right, you know? You did have to look over your shoulder to make sure I was ok cause I didn't…I fucking couldn't…"

While he had no idea what she was talking about, Elliot felt his heart break as the detective in him began piecing all of her fragmented thoughts together. Her eyes were glossed over and completely unfocused, just staring blankly ahead as words tumbled forth out of her mouth.

"Liv, I never should have said that. I was just being some hot-headed, asshole-"

"I know. I know, that's why I told him about you. I told him what you'd do to him if you'd have known what he did to me. I told him you would've kicked his teeth in…that you would have broken his back, his face. I broke his face you know…"

A bitter laugh came bubbling up out of her throat as Elliot stood there equally enthralled and perturbed.

"I managed to get free. He had me…he had me handcuffed to the bed because he wanted to-but I never let him. I didn't let him, I broke that goddamn iron bar off the bed and I beat him, Elliot. He tried to use you. Tried to use you to break me but he didn't know that it gave me strength. You always gave me strength. Once I had that bar in my hand, your voice…your voice entered my head. Telling me to survive by any means necessary. Telling me to hit him, over and over and over…to not stop until…until he was dead."

Her tears, unable to be contained any longer, fell freely and Olivia shook her head as she looked away.

"I can't…how is he still not dead, El?"

Tears had started to brim over Elliot's waterline as well. Slowly he reached for her hand, the letter opener still held tightly in her palm, wanting to disarm here before she became lost in another hallucination. As she turned back to look at him, he saw her eyes fill with terror as they focused on something behind him and he realized he was too late.

"He's here, he's fucking here!"

"No, Liv. Listen to me, no one is here but me. Close your eyes, and hold onto my voice Liv."

But she didn't listen. Her gaze remained fixated on the figure behind him as she pulled her arm back, bringing the letter opener to her own throat.

"I can't do it again, Elliot…I won't let him take me again." She sobbed.

"Olivia, no!" Elliot screamed as he lunged towards her.

They crashed against the wall, each of them struggling for the upper hand. Olivia successfully sliced the side her neck with the opener before Elliot could wrestle it from her grip. Blood seeped out and ran down the center of her chest, slowly turning her beige t-shirt crimson; yet she seemed completely oblivious to the pain as she fisted Elliot's dress shirt in her hands and screamed at the approaching figure.

"Liv! Look at me, dammit! I've got you. I promise I've got you."

She tried. She tried to focus on Elliot, but Lewis' voice began to fill the rapidly shrinking space inside of her head, her office.

"Every morning, every evening, ain't we got fun?Not much money, oh, but honey ain't we got fun?"

Tearing her gaze away from the grinning, taunting essence she locked eyes with Elliot.

"That's it. That's it baby, it's just you and me. I need you to listen to me. You were drugged, ok? I know you remember opening the package. Do you remember the package?"

Nodding, Olivia spoke slowly.

"There was…something exploded out of the card. Some sort of dust."

"That's right, Liv. Knowing Wheatley, it's probably some sort of psychedelic. Lewis, whatever his name is, he's a hallucination. This is just a nightmare. One big nightmare that I want to wake you up from…I need you to help me wake you up."

Elliot cradled Olivia's face in his hands, running his thumbs over her cheekbones. He couldn't tell if the drug was starting to wear off, if she was losing too much blood or if her body and mind were simply exhausted, but he could see some clarity beginning to shine through her deep brown eyes.

"Wheatley?" She asked quietly.

"Yes, Wheatley. This is all my fault, Liv and I'm so sorry. I'll explain later I promise, but first we need to get you to a hospital. Can you stand with me?"

Releasing his shirt, Olivia wrapped her hands around his wrists as they stood together. Her eyes flickered to the apparition over Elliot's left shoulder once more.

"He's right by the door, El."

Elliot pulled her face to his, their noses touching, as he continued to stroke her face.

"He can't hurt you, baby. He's not real…he's not real." He murmured. "I want you to close your eyes, alright? Just hold on to me as we walk. We're going to get out of here and get you some help. You just gotta trust me."

Olivia closed her eyes, feeling Elliot move his hands from her face to her waist, turning her towards the door. He pushed his chest against her back, speaking softly, reassuringly in her right ear as he moved them.

"One step at a time. That's it, Liv."

They walked together at a steady pace with Olivia pushing further back into chest as they approached the door. She could feel one of his hand's leave her waist and curled into him.

"Don't." She pleaded.

"I'm not letting go, I'm just turning the lock. I'm opening the door, alright? You're doing good, Liv. We're almost out."

She could feel the temperature change as she and Elliot entered the squad room, a cool blast of air conditioning causing her to shiver. She opened her eyes tentatively, the sight of Amanda coming towards her, cardigan in hand, a welcome one.

"Here, Liv, take this."

Pulling the black sweater tightly around her body, she jumped as she felt fingers pushing a cloth against her neck wound. Turning her head, she could hear Fin mumble an apology as he stood next to her, his grip firm on her shoulder as he put pressure on her wound.

"We gotcha, babygirl. Everything's gonna be fine, now."

With Elliot on one side of her and Fin on the other, they continued walking, heading towards the elevators. She hazarded one more glance at her office, her room aglow in soft yellow light with, thankfully, nothing sinister to be seen. Feeling a calming sensation wash over her, Olivia allowed herself to breathe deeply as the two men beside her spoke over her head, deciding on which hospital to take her to. Feeling safe, taken care of, Olivia rested her head against the cool metal of the elevator and held on tightly to the two men beside her as they descended.

Debating making it a two-shot and writing about the aftermath. Please review and let me know what you think.
Much love!