Chapter 1

It all began with a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Moody had killed thirteen spiders. This meant that Ron had passed out thirteen times, all of which I laughed with pleasure. You would think that after the seventh time, I would grow bored of seeing Weasley's eyes rotate incessantly, while he waved his arms like a scarecrow and screamed like a madman.

But it was as funny as ever. The suffering of others amuses me, even more when they are annoying Gryffindors. The fact that Weasley was a friend of Potter was just a bonus.

"Gryffindors don't seem that brave now, do they?" I laughed.

"Shut up, Malfoy" Granger said, while she fanned a fainted Weasley.

I didn't shut up. I laughed so hard that even my father, kilometres away, could hear me. I know because, eventually, he hears everything.

"Malfoy, I don't like that attitude. Stay here after class," Moody said.

As ordered, I stayed in the classroom while everyone left, which was great, because that meant I could see Potter and Granger huffing and puffing while they carried the body of Weasley out of the classroom. I had a sudden urge to help them, but I held myself back. If there's something I'm proud of, it's my self-control.

After Longbottom left the classroom, muttering some nonsense about a toad, Moody approached me, his eye spinning. His magical eye, however, completely still.

"Malfoy, Malfoy... I don't like your attitude. Laughing at the unforgivables, at those suffering them..." Moody looked at me with a crooked smile. "Maybe, if you were the one suffering, you wouldn't laugh as much".

I was starting to get worried. Moody seemed serious, and everyone knows he's crazy.

"Yes, yes. It's time you learn some manners" he waved his wand "Furitterus"

At first, nothing happened. Then... Oh, the horror. I shrunk until my robe covered me like a blanket, hairs sprouted from my body, my nose extended and a few translucent whiskers grew from it. My hands and feet were now pink paws. I tried to speak, but only made a faint squeak.

Moody smiled: "Much better"

I started screaming at him. I told him that this was child abuse, that I would get him fired, and that my father would hear about this. Judging by the lack of fear in his face, I assume he didn't understand me.

"Oh, shut up" Moody moved his wand up and down, and I... I started bouncing.

I bounced and bounced around the classroom, until suddenly, I stopped.

Moody couldn't move his wand, as he was too occupied spasming on the floor. His face was bubbling, his arms and hands were growing, his mouth was tightening. The magical eye popped out of its socket and was quickly replaced by an all-natural greyish eye. The missing leg quickly regrew, kicking out its wooden substitute. In just a few seconds, the man was not Moody. He was uglier, if you can believe it.

He had straw-like hair and was exceptionally pale. So much so, that his skin was whiter than my newly grown fur. His face was covered in dark freckles, which looked like small bugs squished in the white backdrop of his skin. His eyes, big and round, exhumed craziness.

The man got up, slowly. He was extremely slender, as if he hadn't eaten in months. Which, seeing as he was now looking at me while drooling, was perfectly plausible.

"Well, well. I guess the cat's out of the bag" the man said, pointing his wand at me.

I tried to run. I truly did. But the ferret legs did not respond. Luckily, it wouldn't have mattered if they did.

"Accio ferret" He took me with his hand and looked at me, with a crazy smile on his face. "On the one hand, I could kill you to protect my secret. On the other… I've always wanted a pet ferret"

I would have preferred the former option. But being the man's pet wasn't that bad. I could see Weasley screaming from a whole new perspective, for starters. And I could use the extra free time that came with being a ferret to spruce up on my magic. The way I saw it, if I wanted to get out of this mess and go back to my simple and comfortable life, I needed to become a master of non-verbal spells.

Apparently, the same day fake-Moody transformed me, thousands of ferrets came flying to Hogwarts. The man had as many ferrets as he wanted. He even started using them in his class!

Now, while they are way dumber than me, I couldn't help but feel distressed when fake-Moody tortured one of the animals to death. That is weird. They are no better than mudbloods, and I certainly don't care about them. And it seems they didn't care about me either, because no one noticed I was missing. I did see Potter with a poster that had my name on it, but I couldn't quite read what it said. It must have been something disturbing, because Potter was wearing a party hat.

As the weeks went by, I realized I couldn't do magic. Not because I didn't have the talent (that would be ridiculous) but because I didn't have a wand. Fake-Moody had taken mine, and even if by some miracle I took it back, it was bigger than me. I had to change my strategy. If I couldn't do magic, I had to find someone to do it for me. And who better than that know it all, Granger.

I had everything prepared. In the middle of the class, I would slither quietly, and pop myself into Granger's reach. Then, with the natural cuteness that comes with being a ferret, I would promptly seduce her. Enamoured by my beautiful fur, she would take me, and I would be free. It was a seamless plan.

"Professor Moody, I must say that the way you treat the ferrets is inhumane" Granger said. She then causally started to enumerate the ways in which mine and the other animals' life could be improved. I would laugh, but she did make some very good points. "At least you should let us take the ferret surplus"

"Fine, fine, fine" Fake-Moody grabbed me and threw me to Granger. "Take this one. Its always annoying me, taking wand-like objects and squeaking like crazy"

It seems not even my kidnapper remembered me. Oh well. A perfect plan down the drain.

Granger put on a mask of disgust. "This one? Well, fine…"

Now, an untrained eye might think that she was deeply disturbed by my sole presence. But I know better. Obviously, she was playing hard to get. Who could resist to the soft touch of my fur?

No one, it seems. Granger must've been worried that others would try to take me, because the first thing she did was put me in a cage and throw away the key. She did feed me, and it was a big cage, but I wasn't in a better situation than before. If it weren't for Granger's ridiculous fear that I would leave her, I would probably be a human again. But I was the mudblood's prisoner.

I should have listened to my mother and go to Durmstrang…