This going to be my take on Steve & Natasha's relationship through Captain America Civil War a little, The Black Widow, Infinity War & Endgame. Along with using some of the scenes from the movies as well.
*I don't own these characters, movies, or comics*
"That shield doesn't belong to you!" Tony manages to cringe out through his deep panting for air. Almost wheezing as he tried to manage the panting he was speaking through. The more the trembling pain he heard Tony in, the worse Cap felt inside more & more. He tried his best to ignore it as he helped Bucky up from his own beaten & fatigue state he was left in.
"You don't deserve it! My father made that shield!" Tony managed out once again & Steve's heart broke a little once more. He wanted to tell himself that Tony was wrong, that he was right to defend his old close friend. He was sparing Tony if anything from knowing the pain of what happened that night to Howard. If he truly believed that then why was there this twisted feeling deep inside of his body every time he told himself that?
It was just too much to think about right now at this moment. What if Tony is right? What if he's wrong? Did he deserve it?
Steve had to admit, it certainly didn't feel like he did right now. He almost didn't realize he stopped moving as he thought about it, trying to catch his breath as he tried to gather his thoughts. Whether he deserved the shield or not, he did feel like he owed Howard & Tony their creation back. Somehow that made him feel worse inside like he was doing the bare minimum but it's a start.
The shield belonged to a hero anyways, not a wanted fugitive. He took a few more deep breaths before dropping it at his feet & walking off with Bucky on his side. It didn't feel necessarily right, but it also didn't feel necessarily wrong either. He couldn't even turn around to look at Tony. Seeing his battered body knowing he was the cause of it, knowing he was a major source of that pain. Not just the physical, but seeing that heartbroken look in his eye before the rage took over & their battle commenced.
Watching the view out of the large window in King T'Challa's medical area in Wakanda as Steve took his hand off of his face from the bruises that remained there from that day. He wish he could say as soon as the bruises healed, his train of thoughts would stop as well. But he knew that almost definitely wasn't going to be the case. It felt like ever since he arrived in Wakanda he's found himself lost in thought, just staring off into whatever view captivates him next & his mind starts going into a frenzy soon after.
Perhaps this is how Bucky felt in a way, not that he can relate to what Bucky was put through or comparing it. But having to live with all those thoughts of people you hurt. Knowing how much destruction blazed the trail your footsteps took place.
Watching Bucky put himself in stasis left Steve with a lot of mixed feelings, emotions & thoughts at the moment now as well. So much was spiraling in his mind about everything & it was driving him crazy. He needed to begin making this right somehow or at least start putting his efforts into it instead of self-reflecting and just staring off & replaying the events that led to this.
He walked off to his quarters that were set up for him & wanted to write some of this down so maybe that would help.
As he sat down in the very comfortable bed, watching the blank piece of paper, Tony's battered face & words kept popping in his head. He twirled the pen between his fingers as he started thinking of a different idea instead of just writing his thoughts down. He caught himself starting it all with one word, well name. 'Tony'.
He decided he would get a few things off of his chest that he wanted to tell him & felt Tony deserved to hear. Some things he also knew Tony probably would already figure he would do anyway as well.
I'm glad you're back at the compound. I don't like the idea of you rattling around a mansion all by yourself.
We all need family.
The Avengers are yours. Maybe more so than mine.
I've been on my own since I was eighteen. I never really fit in anywhere, even in the army. My faith's in, people I guess. Individuals.
And I'm happy to say that for the most part, they haven't let me down. Which is why I can't let them down either. Locks can be replaced, but maybe they shouldn't.
I know I hurt you Tony. I guess I thought that not telling you about your parents, I was sparing you.
But I can see now I was really sparing myself.
And I'm sorry.
Hopefully one day you can understand. I wish we agreed on the accords. I really do. I know you're doing what you believe in & that's all any of us can ever do. That's all any of us should do.
Steve knew there wasn't really much left to say to him that would matter to Tony, but it felt a little better writing this. Not just letting it sit there & having Tony or anyone who mattered thinking he was fine with how everything went down.
So no matter what...
I promise you, if you need us, if you need me...
I'll be there.
He stopped penning the letter & took a moment to scan it over. He was trying to think if there was anything in there he may have missed that deserved to be said. He already had a feeling Tony knew he was going to break everybody out so he wasn't going to put that in there. Besides, no point in making Tony an accomplice in any of what he was going to do.
Speaking of that though, he did know he was going to need help on that part. Sneaking in places wasn't exactly his expertise & he didn't have the resources to just go there and get out either.
Luckily for Steve though, he did have a certain friend who was an expert at getting a hold of things, sneaking in & extractions. For the first time in a while, he had to admit a smile came across his face at the thought.
He took the letter & folded it so he could place it into an envelope & he slid it inside of his jacket pocket for now. He'll ask T'Challa who should finally be on his way back from clearing up the last few issues with the accords if he can send the letter to the compound for Tony somehow.
Steve went back to one of the windows around his quarters to look at one of his favorite views of Wakanda. He loved looking & seeing the Panther surrounded by either beautiful sunlight some days, or a surprisingly pleasant-looking fog that wrapped around it just nice. It was also usually pretty peaceful & with barely any people around, so it made it a little bit nicer.
He wanted to soak it in because he already felt bad about how much T'Challa has done for him & Bucky. Housing him & providing him with a place to recover while allowing Bucky to be put into stasis and hidden away here as well. While it was a nice play to lay low & he probably would never be found there or T'Challa would help in making sure he wasn't. He didn't deserve that trouble & Steve wasn't going to put him through any more of it as well.
So there he was staring out at the intoxicating view for probably the last handful of times he had left to do so. Watching a few of the birds pass by as his mind was trying to process what exactly was next. What exactly was he going to do? What could he do at this point?
As he stared off, he heard footsteps come behind him & he had a feeling who it most likely was. Turning his head to his left to see The King himself walk up right beside him.
"Thank you for this" Steve said as he went back to staring out at the view.
"Your friend & my father, they were both victims." T'Challa looked away for a moment. "If I can help one of them find peace..." He trailed off speaking.
"You know if they find out he's here...They'll come for him." Steve warned him as he turned to stare at him once more.
T'Challa turned to look off at the statue like panther in the distance. "Let them try" T'Challa spoke firmly with intent. Steve kept looking at him though for two reasons. One, he was amazed by the generosity of the man & the hospitality he is giving him & Bucky despite everything. Two, because he sadly had to ask him for one more thing.
"I hate to ask more of you..." Steve stated as T'Challa turned back to face him with a look of intrigue growing on his face.
"What is it you need Captain?" T'Challa asked with a voice that symbolized he had no problem at all.
"I need to contact Natasha"
"The Red Room, under the radar all these years." She listened to Ross speak to her as she was picking at her hands a little for no particular reason. Just been a very, very long day for her. Strangely, even though it was the back of an SUV & she was being brought to be put into jail for violating the Accords...It was actually kind of nice to sit down for a minute.
"I can't imagine how much they've done." She turned to look at him in the front seat now. She still wasn't even really listening to him at all really. "And you took them down, all on your own..." He looked at the rear-view mirror so he could stare at her from it.
"I had some help" Natasha spoke for the first time to him since they got in the car.
"Who"
"I'm just being humble, it was all me" She countered immediately. For one, to screw with him & For two, why give information that he didn't know & would cause her...family trouble. That felt so good to be able to say that she thought to herself. Made her flash a quick smile even.
Ross remained silent for a moment before speaking again. "I don't understand you" He stated. She didn't say a word but gave a little sigh of a laugh at that. "You first sign the accords then follow that up by letting Rodgers escape." He took a pause once again as he was still staring at her through the rear-view mirror. "Then you save the world when the whole world wants to lock you up." He looked away back to the road & she could tell the puzzle of her decisions has him befuddled.
She started working on breaking out of the cuffs, which was something she could have been done. She just needed to wait for some distance from the wreckage & until Ross was relaxed & wary of her would-be slightly off guard.
"It's simply impossible to know what side you're on." She had to admit, the irony in that was amazing to her.
"You & I have that in common" She said as she gave him a slight head nod & small smirk. She now finally found the right ridge on picking the lock on the cuffs as they came open. He wasn't looking so she quietly popped the latch open to the door & look back one more time to see if he noticed her yet. She heard him say something about not being able to go home again or something. It was cute he thought that he could stop her from going anywhere or would just easily lock her up.
She saw that this showed the cage, jail-like doors as well. So she took one more peek at him who was still looking out his window & now she made her move. Simply using the caging to hold on to as she slung herself so she would immediately land in the dirt & not on the road. Now rolling a couple of times from the momentum & using that in succession to begin a run deep into the woods.
She stopped & look back at where she came from for a moment. She imagined that dumb look on his face as he probably just looked back, only to see nothing but doors flapping from the wind & her no longer in the SUV. She flashed a devious smirk then continued running.
Over the next two weeks, she spent her time recovering. Kind of like what she was supposed to be doing in the first place before all this happened.
She managed to return to Norway to another one of her small safe houses once again. Listening to the radio speak about the usual again. "Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanoff are still very much currently on the run" She wasn't ever really listening to it anymore. Just a thing to do for noise in the background & just in case they make any progress on finding her or Steve. Something she was working on herself actually.
She looked at herself in the mirror & examined her new look now. She didn't mind it honestly, took some getting used to but blonde hair wasn't the worse thing in the world. It wasn't like when she was younger & wanted her hair to be blue. The memory made her smile though.
She went into her small bedroom to begin getting dressed. slipping on a pair of skinny, black pants along with all-black, leather boots that went just above her ankles. Also slipping on a long sleeve black, a zip-up shirt that resembled a thermal almost but more thicker. Now looking over at the vest Yelena gave her, she couldn't help but smile as she held it up in front of herself to look at it.
"I like your vest" Natasha admitted to her with a laugh.
"Gahh yess I knew you did, it's so cool right?!"
Yelena being so enthusiastic about it made her laugh. Reminded her of when they were kids. "Yes, it is cool, yes." Nat shook her head as well as she chewed her gum, this was getting cuter how she was going on about that vest. Made her smile even more.
"So many pockets," She said to herself with a little smile as she started putting it on. It was a chilly day today but it looked really beautiful outside. The cold almost made it feel, in a way, peaceful. She walked & opened the door to the trailer to stare outside. Watching a few of the birds fly in the distance along with the chirping. Seeing the sun peek over or shine through the many trees. The chilly air was just right as well.
She took one more long glance & deep breath before she exited the trailer.
Apparently, Rick had a surprise for her at the other safe house. She wondered if maybe he had an update on where Rogers was or if he got her anything she could use to not only free the Avengers on the raft. But get away with all of them as well. The getting in & getting out part wasn't going to be a problem at all, but finding a way to get them all out & away from there was a problem. These are the times she is annoyed that she is on the run because it be a lot easier to get ahold of this stuff if she wasn't.
She walked down the four steps & shut the door to the trailer.
She put her helmet on and swung her leg over & now was on her way to see what Mason had for her. It warmed a little on her way over there & she loved watching the way the wilderness looked this time of year. That pale sun fit in with the green leaves so well.
When she arrived and saw him asleep on the ground & woke him up by kicking his feet to startle him a little because, well why not? He impressed her though as he managed to outdo himself this time she had to admit. She has been in a good mood & that sent her over the top. He somehow manage to get her a Quinjet & she had to admit, she was completely impressed.
She wasn't expecting much but he came through like he always does. She thanked him for always being a good friend to her all these years. He deserved to know he meant a lot to her for everything he did, many times he would do a lot to help her despite the sticky situations she brings along.
"Where are you going to go?" He asked her.
"It's funny, my whole life I didn't think I had any family. Turns out I got two so..." Being able to say that just made her heart feel so good inside. So long she just wanted just a little something to call family & it turns out she had double it. "One of them is a bit of a mess right now. So I'm going to break a few people out of prison. See if I can help patch things up." She began grinning even bigger again. A couple of weeks ago, she would have not believed that she could help in patching up any family at all.
But now, she knows if the one she somewhat patched up can be fixed. The Avengers definitely can find a way, or at least she knows she can give it her best shot.
She took one more look at him, signaling a goodbye in a way. One more reassuring smile before she turned & officially started going to the Quinjet now.
There were so many thoughts coursing through her head right now. Some good, some bad, some a little bit of both. Maybe this was just a feeling for a little while, but she still felt amazing inside. She can't think of a time where she was off to do something, with a whole bunch of thoughts coursing through her mind, but not at all in a rut about it. It felt nice, to feel nice. As simple as that sounded, it was a foreign feeling for her.
She made her way to the ramp now to walk up into the Quinjet & as she walked more up it, the chair in one of the pilot's seats turned around to face her.
Right when she made out who the face was her big grin that had lessened, widened right back up again at who it was. "You know for a fossil, you sure get around soldier." She teased.
He chuckled to himself as he looked down at his feet for a moment, then back to her. "You know for a Black Widow, you sure don't fit the description." He nodded to the top of her head, noting her blonde look.
She let out a small laugh as she was still grinning from ear to ear as was his smile. "Pretty funny coming from the guy who is supposed to represent America yet is a wanted man by America" She flashed a quick, devious smirk on her face before returning to the good-natured, grinning smile.
He gave her a face that symbolized 'oh that's how it is as he leaned back in his chair & look back at her with a big smile still on his face. "Wanted by the world actually & I'm not alone in that regard" He countered back. Flashing his eyebrows upwards at her.
She shook her head up-n-down slightly. "Sounds like you & this person could use a friend then" She said with a hint of her classic sultry tone.
"Hmm" He feigned like he was thinking hard. "I could have sworn this person told me I may be in the wrong business with that thought process." He looked at her suggestively & she knew what he was referring to from two years ago. She couldn't help but laugh completely this time.
"Nice to see you, Natasha." He said with a fond but sweet stare at her as she had the same look.
"Nice to see you too Steve."
Well, what do you guys think about that as a start?! Reviews are welcomed!
Sidenote: Maybe it's just me but besides a movie here & there, does the MCU not feel the same anymore to anybody else as well? In terms of the quality of the movie.