Chapter 1
Look at the birds. Even flying
is born
out of nothing. The first sky
is inside you, open
at either end of day.
the work of wings
was always freedom, fastening
one heart to every falling thing.
-One Heart by LiYoungLee
A/N: This story is post-war, canon-divergent. Angst and trauma are major themes but if you'd stick around, you'd get a whiff of love as well. [SasuHina]
[If you guys see this story on Ao3, it is still me. I can always do with more reviews, ya know]
Hinata sat in the back garden with her eyes on the ground. The sun was lifting his head over her horizon but she chose to concentrate at the dew-covered ground under which rare saplings slept in the soil, twinkling like stars under her Byakugan.
After war, even when Naruto was safe, she didn't let go of her training. She might have started out with a purpose, but training came naturally to her now. The idea of purpose did not matter and even though, the purpose was the jewel of her heart, her training transcended beyond thoughts and emotions. With some more time and effort, her Byakagun sharpened to realize that even trees had souls. Is this how her ancestor felt? The ill-fated Kaguya.
But these trees were nothing like the husk of ten-tails. They had no violence. By looking at their nature energy, the bare minuscule that she could muster to visualize, she felt that she belonged. A little less alien on the planet, she found amidst war, which was never originally hers. Her thoughts had turned less chaotic the day she had found out about this truth. It felt like uncovering a forgotten memory...deep down, she always felt that the planet was not her original home. But she easily suppressed such thoughts. What good would come out of them?
She got up, straightened her gardening skirt, and lifted her head to look at the sun-the effect was immediate. Her cheeks bloomed like sunflowers would bloom against the sunshine. In that moment, she felt grateful to be alive-filled with humility, root of her essence.
At the cottage's entrance, she took off her slippers and noiselessly slipped into the kitchen. For Kurenai, it was as difficult as an upper rank mission to fall asleep these days, and it made Hinata worry. With little Mirai on Kurenai's hands, it was already a struggle to set a sleeping schedule to begin with. Having a child as a shinobi was not an easy business, Hinata noted to herself. But being a shinobi does grant mental and physical agility against the challenges of of parenthood (single parenthood in this case).
Hinata took a steaming cup of tea to Kurenai's bedroom and stole a minute to admire the heart-warming scene. Mirai slept peacefully in her mother's arms. Her mother, asleep as herself, cradled Mirai's head to restrain restless movements brought on by unknown dreams that the child was incapable of articulating just yet. Observing this scene in secrecy, something tugged at Hinata's heart and like a child, she too found herself incapable of articulating the feeling that filled her with gratitude. Warmth climbed up her face and she felt her heart burst with joy.
After moving to a secluded cottage, two weeks away from Konoha, Hinata had never felt so free. But more so, she felt that she belonged. Of course, it was not a vacation for any of them. They would not have left behind Konoha if they could help it. But Naruto, who was now the Hokage, had decreed all genjutsu masters to go into hiding. For Kurenai, one of the elite shinobis of the village, the summons were personal. She was advised to take a squad of jonin along but Kurenai being Kurenai, refused such indulgence. Yet since it was Hokage's order, she couldn't shun it altogether and requested Hinata's able company for guardianship.
Shikamaru didn't want to hear the end of it. He would accompany Mirai and her mother to the end of the world. That was his promise. But on Naruto's compliance to Kurenai's suggestion, he had to give in.
Hinata felt a tinge of pride in her sensei's choice but also took the responsibility very seriously. The danger to Kurenai's life was no joke. In the fourth shinobi war, for the first time, all hidden villages and capitals, even the commoners, encountered the chakra-art-and not just any chakra-art, a Tsukuyomi: the most powerful genjutsu in existence. It was potent and addictive, not just for commoners but also for the surviving shinobis. Especially for the surviving shinobis. Those who were dealing with the very grief of surviving against the sea of the dead. After Madara's Tsukuyomi was lifted, a rude awakening had immediately followed.
As people fell off trees like fruits, there were cries across the planet as if millions of toddlers were broken from their sleep. The wailing was gut-wrenching. While the elite shinobis of higher ranks managed to withstand the genjutsu's after-effects, they were barely a minority. The rest of the masses wanted to return to the dream where their dead loved ones waited for them for an embrace.
Different villages took different approaches to solve this dream-hunger. In Hidden Cloud Village, as moon effigies popped up in the corners of the village, the Raikage ordered imprisonment for anyone carrying such contrabands and symbols of delusions. He would literally destroy the moon if he had to, he had confessed to his brother. In the Hidden Mist Village, on the other hand, they would produce confusion tactics to quiten the rebels from propagating their ideology. But when that didn't last, ANBU level ninjas hunted these moon rebels and attacked their underground tunnels with a fog filled with numbing agents, quite literally smoking the rats out. Even the peace-loving Sand, under the benevolent guardianship of Gaara, understood the violence of such moves with sorrow. Grief tugged at Gaara's heart when he had to entomb the rebels to cease the spread of madness, he himself grew up with. In a strange reversed situation, Gaara recognized the familiar madness in the villager's eyes, a madness that had been his friend since childhood. He knew, if left uncontrolled, it will infect everyone. Madara's dream might just posthumously come true.
But the situation plummeted after Konoha's move. In a meeting with the Konoha council, Kakashi found himself staring blankly at the fire Daimyo's strange suggestion of re-installing a small-scale genjutsu for Konoha. His reasoning came at a striking period of time when Kakashi was about to transfer his power to Naruto, and so neither Kakashi nor Naruto had enough political power to counter Daimyo's suggestion. Daimyo's reasoning had been: "If we give people what they want, it will help them wean off better. Like little babes with mother's milk."
For this purpose, Kurenai was brought to the center stage. Kurenai warned about the consequences of such a plan. A genjutsu erases lines between dualities. Reality and unreality. But given the political pressure, she decided to install a day long genjutsu for Konoha's shinobi and villagers. Those who wanted to sit out, could, and even those who partook in it, should have a safe window to return from their dreams. But just as the clock was about to strike the day over, Kurenai found Damiyo's own bodyguard, mercilessly killing off her fellow genjutsu users who had helped her cast a village-wide genjutsu. The plan had been to kill the genjutsu-casters so that the key is lost with the lock. Reading the mad logic that lead to such a disastrous situation, Kurenai knocked the bodyguard down and immediately released the genjutsu, albeit faster than she had intended. After which, she requested Kakashi to send ANBU to settle the situation in the village. She knew that the waking would bring a terrible uproar because of sudden unwinding of the jutsu.
But now that the genjutsu was released, the rebels wanted her alive. Or anyone like her. The news soon spread like fire to the other villages and as a result, many genjutsu users had to go into hiding. The whole incidence had left a sour taste in Kurenai's mouth, and as much as she hated for Mirai to grow up in a place which was not Konoha, she was relieved to be free of prying eyes.
And Hinata was an angel. She put down the cup of tea on Kurenai's bedside table and found her Sensei's sharp shinobi senses stir to her noiseless movements.
"Good morning...how was your sleep?"
"It was much better", Kurenai smiled in assurance. But Hinata could always read between the lines.
It was time for their morning training, and so, Hinata gave Kurenai some space to freshen up and meet her in the garden. Hinata missed training with Neji. But she knew he had bigger responsibilities-duties, she had once envisioned for herself. But with time, she had realized that she was never cut out for it. The compound full of men did nothing to ease her own self-expectations and self-hatred. Perhaps, underneath it all, she still wanted to prove something to them. With these thoughts, chaos returned to her and she gave a solid palm to the heavily bruised bark that took beating from her every day.
It had been two months since they fled Konoha and found a refuge in a cottage uphill. The weather was cooler at this side and soothed her senses. Since leaving, they had not encountered any danger. Hinata found it jarring. She was afraid that she would fall victim to this long-standing peace which was addictive in its own sense. Like a knife, ironic to her own gentle nature, she sharpened herself every day to prevent a mishap that may result from an addiction to comfort.
Donning her own training gear, Kurenai slowly walked near Hinata's side and admired her taijutsu command. Realizing the presence behind her, Hinata looked back at the shimmering pools of ruby eyes and clenched her fist. A solid blow knocked the woman straight into the fence.
"You are not Kurenai," Hinata awakened her Byakugan.