"How the Hell'd I wind up like this, unable to function, with the love of my LIFE dead!?! Now, Kitty by my side, I MUST go on. Then I think: 'Why bother?' I am insignfigant, like a seashell to the ocean. That's all I am, a seashell, washed ashore, constantly stepped on." Kurt muttered to himself as he walked through the garden outside of the mansion. "If I do go on, I MUST stand alone, I cannot rely on someone else to get me through this. The only person I trusted lies in a body bag at some funeral home that I'll never go to. WHO can accept me for who I am NOW!?! They ALL say they do! But....but...they DON'T!" he was near screaming. "Amanda, if you're up there...please...listen to me...I loved you, I still do...I'll never replace you. I may find other people, but...YOU...you will NEVER be matched, I should simply raise a white flag above my head now, surrendering to reality. The reality of you being dead. The reality of love leaving my life forever. The doubts that have entered my mind. Doubts of love. Doubts of God. It was never meant to be this way. You should still be alive. I should still be close to God. WHY have you left me!?! Did I do something WRONG!?! I was loyal. I told you I loved you. I'm glad I didn't propose to you, that would have added to the pain. I should have driven you home. Then I would be the one who died! Wait...you shouldn't be the one going through this much pain...I'd rather it be me that you. I don't know WHY I fell in love with you, ALL I KNOW IS THAT I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!" He howled unto the moonless skies. He sat down and held his head in his hands. No tears would come, as much as he thought they were supposed to...

"No one knows why they fall in love. No one ever gets over the loss of a loved one. All that happens is reality, as hard as it is to accept." Logan said, sitting beside him.

Kurt started crying softly.

"Kurt, ya'know, others know what you're going through..."

"YES! I'm not alone, blah de blah de BLAH! But you know what? It's HARD to keep that in mind when you've just lost someone!"

"You don't need to loose someone physically to grieve."

"Wha---?"

"I just lost one of my best friends. Perhaps, the way my life is going, I just lost my only friend."

"When?"

"A few minutes ago."

There was a pause.

"I'm sorry, Logan...I'd hate to see you going through the pain I'm in."

Logan put his arm around Kurt and pulled him close. Kurt sobbed, mourning over his loss, but wanting to correct Logan.

"No, my friend, you haven't lost me."

"So, for once, I was wrong?"

"For once..." Kurt smiled through his tears.

"How do you smile, when you're obviously in so much pain?"

"For you, my friend, I will pull myself together." Kurt wanted to cry, but tried not to.

"It's all right to cry. I never thought I'd hear myself say that, but I'm here, everything's going to sort itself out. It may not be fine, but it'll sort itself out..."

The soft blue fur on Kurt's face soon had prominent wet lines showing, even in the dark of the night, although he made no sound. Logan pulled him closer.

"Logan, listen..."

Logan put a finger to Kurt's lips.

"Thank you." Kurt relaxed his body, allowing himself to mold to Logan's form.

"No problem."

"Logan, do you believe in love?"

"In the past no."

"And now?"

"I'm beginning to."

"I used to believe in love. And then the one I thought I loved...dies...as I hold her hand..."

"I can only imagine what that must be like, to be in love and loose that person forever."

"Lemme guess, it's hard enough loosing your love for a few moments?"

"Yes...how---?"

Kurt put his finger to Logan's lips.

"Lucky guess, my friend, lucky guess..."

"I don't want you to..."

"Get over her so soon?"

"Yes."

"I'll never be over her. I don't want another girl."

"Then what DO you want?"

"A guy."

"A GUY?"

"One like you."

There was a silence between them unlike any other.

"Kurt...I....I...."

"I don't know what I'm doing either..." Kurt got up to walk away.

Logan stood up as well.

"No. That's not what I was about to say."

Logan stepped in Kurt's way.

"Oh, really now? Then WHAT did you WANT to say?" Kurt's voice was cold. But there was that subtle undertone of fear Logan had never heard from those lips before...

"That I love you."

"Logan...."

"I'm sorry...it's too soon, isn't it? I shouldn't have said anything...you need your grieving time..."

"No."

"Wha---?"

Kurt embraced Logan, nuzzling into his chest. Logan wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist.

The previous silence had met it's match...

TBC...I think...