Disclaimer: we don't own them, it, whatever, it's not ours, we do not own
Lord of the Rings or Pepsi max, we can only dream of it.
Authors note: Mascara Freak- Here it is chapter numero dos, you know it's very hard writing a story with someone else, it takes a long time, especially when you only communicate through MSN and email, but reviewing makes it so much easier (hint, hint!) Rumplestiltskin- She took the words right out of my mouth : o )
Chapter 2: How not to get away with a robbery.
The council was growing very tired, they had been chasing the three-cloaked midgets for ten minutes and they had made no sign of slowing down. Lord Elrond, who was leading the party had expected the three hairy footed things to slow down after he'd been glaring at them for fifty-five seconds, that's the longest anyone had taken to break down under his glare, but he was now coming to realise that a glare, no matter how pissed off, just didn't work on someone's back. The elves were leading the party of runners, Elrond at the very front, the men were coming in a close second, the dwarves were lagging behind slightly, but it was the grey bearded wizard, Gandalf who was bringing up the rear, panting heavily.
"Woo, ooh, I can't remember the last time I could feel the muscles in my legs working" he muttered to himself.
The hairy-footed thing by the name of Frodo, who was really a hobbit, seemed to be finding the whole affair rather enjoyable. He was running about everywhere, talking to everyone. The elves would reply to him rather politely, but seemed to be concentrating on their running more than a conversation about his gardener's wide collection of woolly hats. The men he spoke to would simply look at him like he was a pet dog that no body wanted (no offence to dogs, I love dogs) and the dwarves could only grunt or snort. He didn't slow down enough to talk to Gandalf, he would simply shout back encouragement to him now and again.
"Come on Gandalf, think of your thighs after all this exercise"
"My thighs, he should worry bout his arse, I cant even see who were chasing because of that thing" Gandalf muttered to himself.
Frodo decided to catch up with Elrond to try and start a conversation.
"Ooh, this fun, I must say, I never knew my gardener and cousins could run that fast" he commented.
Elrond kept running in his surprise. "You mean there your cousins and gardener, why didn't you say so" Elrond asked, outraged.
"I thought we were all playing a game of tag" Frodo replied.
The next few things happened rather quickly. The three thieves, who have now been identified as Sam, Pippin and Merry heard a raised voice addressed to them.
"Samwise Gamgee, Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck"
They turned around in surprise, they were quite far in front but they could still make out the doubled up Wizard, panting, gasping for breath, and several unconscious dwarves. The men and elves were in a large circle blocking off what they were looking at. Elrond, the one who spoke continued.
"If you are wise, wait no, let me put that a different way that makes sense, umm, hold on, nearly got it, oh what the heck, if you value your friends life then you return the Pepsi max by sunset" He finally managed to shout.
"And, and, what if we don't, what are you gonna do?" Pippin stuttered, trying to sound tough.
"Yeah" Merry said backing him up, "what you gonna do, burn him alive?"
"Exactly, mwuhahahaha!" Elrond cackled evilly.
The men and elves parted to reveal a hastily built stake with a terrified Frodo attached.
"We do that kinda thing now, hehehehe, good old fashioned torture!" Elrond laughed manically.
"Uh guys, I think were in trouble," said a pale Sam. Pippin looked as if he was about to burst into tears. He sat on the ground and every few seconds whimpered in a most pathetic way. It was incredibly off-putting for poor Merry who was thinking about what to do next. Suddenly he let out a cry.
"Aha!" Men, elves and dwarves all turned to look at him with mild surprise but then carried on piling dry tinder up infront of and around Frodo. Merry sat down next to Sam and Pippin and they all put their heads together.
" Now listen to me, I have a plan." whispered Merry, for the men were starting to get suspicious. " What we do is." and he explained his plan in detail to the others, at a very high speed so they only got half of what he was saying. What ensued was the result of Pippin and Sam only hearing half the plan.
Sam walked over casually to the men, trying to look cool but inside he was petrified that they would grab him and tie him to a stake as well. Whilst the men were busy looking at Sam, Merry and Pippin crawled commando-style into the woods on either side of the road. There they split and Merry crept towards Frodo whilst Pippin climbed a tree. He was not meant to be climbing the tree but he thought he had seen a bird's nest up there and wanted to see if there were any eggs. Sam had nearly reached the men and was still clutching the bottle of Pepsi. He wasn't sure what to do next; Merry had said something about when he'd reached the men he was to stop and wait for the signal. Unfortunately he had tuned out at that point and did not find out what the signal was. He looked over at Merry who was still stealthily crawling towards Frodo.
"Hey Merry, what's the signal?" he called. The men looked at Merry and immediately figured out what was happening. Two of them ran forwards to Sam who screamed and fled in the opposite direction. More men and elves followed. The dwarves, who were rather slow to catch on, finally realised that the Pepsi was getting away and raced away from where they had been guarding Frodo. Elrond put his head in his hands.
" NO, NO, NO!" he yelled at the backs of the fleeing men, elves, dwarves and hobbit. They all stopped and turned.
" Why do you think we tied Frodo to a stake? For the fun of it? No, it was to stop the whole running off with the Pepsi thing that the hobbits were doing. But now look; Frodo is unguarded and, unless I'm very much mistaken, Merry is freeing him now." He turned and saw, just as he had predicted, Merry freeing Frodo. The two hobbits smiled and waved before making off into the woods.
" This means that now we have no hostage they can run off with the Pepsi again." The men, elves and dwarves stood for a minute thinking this through and then it hit them.
" Get the hostage!" They cried and ran as fast as they could back towards Elrond and the stake, leaving Sam standing in a clearing with no one pursuing him and the bottle of Pepsi in his arms. He grinned and waited for the others to catch up.
" NO, NO, NO!" cried Elrond for the second time in the space of five minutes. " It's no good you being back here now is it? Sam is over there with the Pepsi, grinning like a Cheshire cat and look there are Merry and Frodo now." Sure enough Merry and Frodo emerged from the woods, smiled and waved at the incredibly confused party standing before Elrond before setting off again. A few seconds later a very happy Pippin, clutching three eggs in his hands, came out of the woods onto the road. He took one look at his friends' backs and ran as fast as his little legs could carry him after them. The men looked rather foolish. The elves looked like they couldn't care less. The dwarves looked deep in thought as they tried to figure out what had just happened. Gandalf was asleep. Elrond sat on the floor and sobbed.
" What have I done to deserve this?" he yelled at no one in particular. " One bottle of Pepsi max left and those hobbits have it! How did this happen?" he put his hands over his ears and stamped his feet as one of the smarter dwarves decided to explain exactly how the four little hobbits had made fools out of the cleverest beings in Middle Earth.
There it is, chapter 2, hope you like it. Please, pretty please review and make our day, in the next chapter we will do that thang where we thank reviewer individually, but I have a cold and cant get on the net to read the reviews and I will need to talk to Rumplestiltskin about it after we sort out our plans for world domination, if you want us to share your life then stop reading this and click that little review button, please, please, please it makes us both so happy.
Authors note: Mascara Freak- Here it is chapter numero dos, you know it's very hard writing a story with someone else, it takes a long time, especially when you only communicate through MSN and email, but reviewing makes it so much easier (hint, hint!) Rumplestiltskin- She took the words right out of my mouth : o )
Chapter 2: How not to get away with a robbery.
The council was growing very tired, they had been chasing the three-cloaked midgets for ten minutes and they had made no sign of slowing down. Lord Elrond, who was leading the party had expected the three hairy footed things to slow down after he'd been glaring at them for fifty-five seconds, that's the longest anyone had taken to break down under his glare, but he was now coming to realise that a glare, no matter how pissed off, just didn't work on someone's back. The elves were leading the party of runners, Elrond at the very front, the men were coming in a close second, the dwarves were lagging behind slightly, but it was the grey bearded wizard, Gandalf who was bringing up the rear, panting heavily.
"Woo, ooh, I can't remember the last time I could feel the muscles in my legs working" he muttered to himself.
The hairy-footed thing by the name of Frodo, who was really a hobbit, seemed to be finding the whole affair rather enjoyable. He was running about everywhere, talking to everyone. The elves would reply to him rather politely, but seemed to be concentrating on their running more than a conversation about his gardener's wide collection of woolly hats. The men he spoke to would simply look at him like he was a pet dog that no body wanted (no offence to dogs, I love dogs) and the dwarves could only grunt or snort. He didn't slow down enough to talk to Gandalf, he would simply shout back encouragement to him now and again.
"Come on Gandalf, think of your thighs after all this exercise"
"My thighs, he should worry bout his arse, I cant even see who were chasing because of that thing" Gandalf muttered to himself.
Frodo decided to catch up with Elrond to try and start a conversation.
"Ooh, this fun, I must say, I never knew my gardener and cousins could run that fast" he commented.
Elrond kept running in his surprise. "You mean there your cousins and gardener, why didn't you say so" Elrond asked, outraged.
"I thought we were all playing a game of tag" Frodo replied.
The next few things happened rather quickly. The three thieves, who have now been identified as Sam, Pippin and Merry heard a raised voice addressed to them.
"Samwise Gamgee, Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck"
They turned around in surprise, they were quite far in front but they could still make out the doubled up Wizard, panting, gasping for breath, and several unconscious dwarves. The men and elves were in a large circle blocking off what they were looking at. Elrond, the one who spoke continued.
"If you are wise, wait no, let me put that a different way that makes sense, umm, hold on, nearly got it, oh what the heck, if you value your friends life then you return the Pepsi max by sunset" He finally managed to shout.
"And, and, what if we don't, what are you gonna do?" Pippin stuttered, trying to sound tough.
"Yeah" Merry said backing him up, "what you gonna do, burn him alive?"
"Exactly, mwuhahahaha!" Elrond cackled evilly.
The men and elves parted to reveal a hastily built stake with a terrified Frodo attached.
"We do that kinda thing now, hehehehe, good old fashioned torture!" Elrond laughed manically.
"Uh guys, I think were in trouble," said a pale Sam. Pippin looked as if he was about to burst into tears. He sat on the ground and every few seconds whimpered in a most pathetic way. It was incredibly off-putting for poor Merry who was thinking about what to do next. Suddenly he let out a cry.
"Aha!" Men, elves and dwarves all turned to look at him with mild surprise but then carried on piling dry tinder up infront of and around Frodo. Merry sat down next to Sam and Pippin and they all put their heads together.
" Now listen to me, I have a plan." whispered Merry, for the men were starting to get suspicious. " What we do is." and he explained his plan in detail to the others, at a very high speed so they only got half of what he was saying. What ensued was the result of Pippin and Sam only hearing half the plan.
Sam walked over casually to the men, trying to look cool but inside he was petrified that they would grab him and tie him to a stake as well. Whilst the men were busy looking at Sam, Merry and Pippin crawled commando-style into the woods on either side of the road. There they split and Merry crept towards Frodo whilst Pippin climbed a tree. He was not meant to be climbing the tree but he thought he had seen a bird's nest up there and wanted to see if there were any eggs. Sam had nearly reached the men and was still clutching the bottle of Pepsi. He wasn't sure what to do next; Merry had said something about when he'd reached the men he was to stop and wait for the signal. Unfortunately he had tuned out at that point and did not find out what the signal was. He looked over at Merry who was still stealthily crawling towards Frodo.
"Hey Merry, what's the signal?" he called. The men looked at Merry and immediately figured out what was happening. Two of them ran forwards to Sam who screamed and fled in the opposite direction. More men and elves followed. The dwarves, who were rather slow to catch on, finally realised that the Pepsi was getting away and raced away from where they had been guarding Frodo. Elrond put his head in his hands.
" NO, NO, NO!" he yelled at the backs of the fleeing men, elves, dwarves and hobbit. They all stopped and turned.
" Why do you think we tied Frodo to a stake? For the fun of it? No, it was to stop the whole running off with the Pepsi thing that the hobbits were doing. But now look; Frodo is unguarded and, unless I'm very much mistaken, Merry is freeing him now." He turned and saw, just as he had predicted, Merry freeing Frodo. The two hobbits smiled and waved before making off into the woods.
" This means that now we have no hostage they can run off with the Pepsi again." The men, elves and dwarves stood for a minute thinking this through and then it hit them.
" Get the hostage!" They cried and ran as fast as they could back towards Elrond and the stake, leaving Sam standing in a clearing with no one pursuing him and the bottle of Pepsi in his arms. He grinned and waited for the others to catch up.
" NO, NO, NO!" cried Elrond for the second time in the space of five minutes. " It's no good you being back here now is it? Sam is over there with the Pepsi, grinning like a Cheshire cat and look there are Merry and Frodo now." Sure enough Merry and Frodo emerged from the woods, smiled and waved at the incredibly confused party standing before Elrond before setting off again. A few seconds later a very happy Pippin, clutching three eggs in his hands, came out of the woods onto the road. He took one look at his friends' backs and ran as fast as his little legs could carry him after them. The men looked rather foolish. The elves looked like they couldn't care less. The dwarves looked deep in thought as they tried to figure out what had just happened. Gandalf was asleep. Elrond sat on the floor and sobbed.
" What have I done to deserve this?" he yelled at no one in particular. " One bottle of Pepsi max left and those hobbits have it! How did this happen?" he put his hands over his ears and stamped his feet as one of the smarter dwarves decided to explain exactly how the four little hobbits had made fools out of the cleverest beings in Middle Earth.
There it is, chapter 2, hope you like it. Please, pretty please review and make our day, in the next chapter we will do that thang where we thank reviewer individually, but I have a cold and cant get on the net to read the reviews and I will need to talk to Rumplestiltskin about it after we sort out our plans for world domination, if you want us to share your life then stop reading this and click that little review button, please, please, please it makes us both so happy.