12:30 am
Kate's words suddenly hit me with all their might. She fears she is going to die. My Kate is actually afraid she might die! I shake my head vehemently. I'm not losing her! This is not going to happen again.
I moan under my breath. Suddenly I'm panicked as well, and I clasp my arms around Kate once again, pulling her almost brutally into an embrace. Kate winces as I touch her shoulder, but I'm too emotional to care.
"You're not dying!" I shout. "Kate Benson, you're not dying, you hear? Never say that again!"
My voice is only an inch from cracking, and I struggle to regain control over my feelings. But they just spill out of me before I can do anything about it.
"I'm not going to lose you," I roar. "Kate, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE! I'M NOT GOING TO LOSE YOU!"
And I pull her close, bury my face in her other shoulder and refuse to loosen my grip by the slightest bit.
Kate doesn't say anything, but I can feel her racing heart next to mine. And then, slowly, her arms reach up around my neck. Kate pulls me closer and runs her fingers through my hair. I feel a shudder run down my spine.
"Kate, I couldn't bear to lose you," I murmur against her neck. "I need you."
I lift my face from her shoulder and slowly straighten up again. My momentary panic attack is over. Kate is not going to die. She is going to stay with me. There's so much to be said. so much she still needs to know.
Kate has started shivering again. Her lips are turning blue and she has difficulty to speak.
"Nick, I'm sorry," she whispers. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to shock you like this. I was just afraid. I still am."
I can see that her condition gets worse and worse. This spike must have been poisoned.
"Hush," I say and softly touch the side of her beautiful face. "I won't let you die. I'll warm you."
She nods faintly and murmurs something. I'm not quite sure, but it could have been "Hold me, Nick."
As carefully as I can, I pull her onto my lap, place her head on my shoulder so that her face rests against my neck, and hold her body against mine. My arms slide under her leather jacket in order to get her still closer. Her only reaction consists of a low, silent moan, and she moves her head closer to my neck. I feel another shudder as I feel her lips brush the side of my neck. She tries to reach my ear, I realize. She wants to tell me something.
"What, Kate?" I ask softly while I'm stroking her back.
I can feel her breath on my neck. The shudder extends to my stomach, and it makes my hands tremble.
When she finally starts speaking, her voice is low and husky and barely audible. "I hope this is not the last hour of my life," says Kate, "but if it is, I'm glad that you're with me, Nick." And then she places a gentle kiss next to my ear, slowly, deliberately. "I love you, Nick O'Malley," she whispers as her head falls back down on my shoulder.
My heart is racing and my ears are ringing. I hope this was not a dream. I hope this really happened.
"Kate." I whisper helplessly, again at a loss for words. "Don't faint now, Kate. Stay with me! Stay with me, love."
I've done it. I have uttered that one word that determines my fate. I've admitted that I love her. And she loves me, too. Please God, don't let it be too late.
"Kate, love, wake up," I implore her. "Come back!"
Her eyelids flutter and then she opens her eyes. "I'm still with you, Nick," she says. "Is it true?"
She doesn't need to explain what she means. I can't keep tears from filling my eyes as I shift her position so that I can bend down and softly touch her cold lips. They are rough and dry, but they're the sweetest thing I have ever tasted. I close my eyes and stay there for a moment. Kate doesn't react, and I'm starting to fear that she's passed out. or worse, that I did imagine her words and that she's about to push me away. But then her lips part under mine, only a little, and she allows the kiss to deepen. Neither of us makes it a passionate French kiss, but still it is the most intense and emotional kiss I have ever given or received. When our lips finally part, Kate is out of breath, but she smiles.
"I love you, Nick," she whispers again as she clasps her arms around my neck and pulls me close once more. "I've loved you for so long."
Kate's words suddenly hit me with all their might. She fears she is going to die. My Kate is actually afraid she might die! I shake my head vehemently. I'm not losing her! This is not going to happen again.
I moan under my breath. Suddenly I'm panicked as well, and I clasp my arms around Kate once again, pulling her almost brutally into an embrace. Kate winces as I touch her shoulder, but I'm too emotional to care.
"You're not dying!" I shout. "Kate Benson, you're not dying, you hear? Never say that again!"
My voice is only an inch from cracking, and I struggle to regain control over my feelings. But they just spill out of me before I can do anything about it.
"I'm not going to lose you," I roar. "Kate, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE! I'M NOT GOING TO LOSE YOU!"
And I pull her close, bury my face in her other shoulder and refuse to loosen my grip by the slightest bit.
Kate doesn't say anything, but I can feel her racing heart next to mine. And then, slowly, her arms reach up around my neck. Kate pulls me closer and runs her fingers through my hair. I feel a shudder run down my spine.
"Kate, I couldn't bear to lose you," I murmur against her neck. "I need you."
I lift my face from her shoulder and slowly straighten up again. My momentary panic attack is over. Kate is not going to die. She is going to stay with me. There's so much to be said. so much she still needs to know.
Kate has started shivering again. Her lips are turning blue and she has difficulty to speak.
"Nick, I'm sorry," she whispers. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to shock you like this. I was just afraid. I still am."
I can see that her condition gets worse and worse. This spike must have been poisoned.
"Hush," I say and softly touch the side of her beautiful face. "I won't let you die. I'll warm you."
She nods faintly and murmurs something. I'm not quite sure, but it could have been "Hold me, Nick."
As carefully as I can, I pull her onto my lap, place her head on my shoulder so that her face rests against my neck, and hold her body against mine. My arms slide under her leather jacket in order to get her still closer. Her only reaction consists of a low, silent moan, and she moves her head closer to my neck. I feel another shudder as I feel her lips brush the side of my neck. She tries to reach my ear, I realize. She wants to tell me something.
"What, Kate?" I ask softly while I'm stroking her back.
I can feel her breath on my neck. The shudder extends to my stomach, and it makes my hands tremble.
When she finally starts speaking, her voice is low and husky and barely audible. "I hope this is not the last hour of my life," says Kate, "but if it is, I'm glad that you're with me, Nick." And then she places a gentle kiss next to my ear, slowly, deliberately. "I love you, Nick O'Malley," she whispers as her head falls back down on my shoulder.
My heart is racing and my ears are ringing. I hope this was not a dream. I hope this really happened.
"Kate." I whisper helplessly, again at a loss for words. "Don't faint now, Kate. Stay with me! Stay with me, love."
I've done it. I have uttered that one word that determines my fate. I've admitted that I love her. And she loves me, too. Please God, don't let it be too late.
"Kate, love, wake up," I implore her. "Come back!"
Her eyelids flutter and then she opens her eyes. "I'm still with you, Nick," she says. "Is it true?"
She doesn't need to explain what she means. I can't keep tears from filling my eyes as I shift her position so that I can bend down and softly touch her cold lips. They are rough and dry, but they're the sweetest thing I have ever tasted. I close my eyes and stay there for a moment. Kate doesn't react, and I'm starting to fear that she's passed out. or worse, that I did imagine her words and that she's about to push me away. But then her lips part under mine, only a little, and she allows the kiss to deepen. Neither of us makes it a passionate French kiss, but still it is the most intense and emotional kiss I have ever given or received. When our lips finally part, Kate is out of breath, but she smiles.
"I love you, Nick," she whispers again as she clasps her arms around my neck and pulls me close once more. "I've loved you for so long."