Disclaimer: I own not of Weiss. Nothing but dear Koyappi's coat. v___v

Summary: I KNOW I KNOW! This chapter sucked big time. It took me a while too. I just had a block, okay? And I was re-working my book. ^^' heh. Yea. I think I know where this fic is going. I used to know. o_0 Anyways... please, PLEASE tell me what you don't like about this. I know, it's really bad. v___v I didn't know what to do.

Dedication: As always, my koi. Truly, I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for her. Like my work? Go thank her on her account: AkikoYuy. She really is my lifesaver. ^-^






I awaken upon the floor of my room to the late-night howls in a dog, lost in the allies. I blink wearily and sit, looking around my room in a newfound light, forgetting myself. Silent breathes whisper through the thin walls, my eyes closing gently to sway with them. I don't believe anything has happened. Did I ever love Siberian? Was I with him even? I think to myself. It's all so fuzzy now. Blond waves bounce against my flushed cheeks, my head shaking back and forth. Woken and alert, I stand and grab a pair of pants; tight and black. Throwing my boxers upon the floor, I quickly change into my clubbing gear and sit on my bed, my head in my hands. The world was in a circle, and I was in a square.

Throwing back my head, I laughed. I laughed at the world and stood, ready to go to my favourite club and smash myself into an oblivion with alchohol and cigarettes. Before I can tell myself to move, I arive at Leçad, my favorite gay bar and dance club. Yes, I will admit I prefer men over women. I only go to straight clubs when I'm bored and int he mood for a good fuck, but gay clubs are a must when I need to clear my head, and am just in the mood for someone to fuck me stupid.

I saunter into the club with confidence; people love me here. Instantly, a very handsome man walks up to me and grabs my arm to dance. He dances close and low, his long black hair tickling my cheeks and torso provacatively. I grind my pelvis into him, allowing him to feel my growing need for him. I can almost hear it as his lips form to create a smirk, lusting for me with every tooth. In a very open club, anything goes here. Instantly it all vanishes as my chest is shoved against a smooth, painted wall, decorated with the blazing strobed lights. My partner screws me long and hard, moving slow and strong within me. I cry out a name. A name which my lips have been parched of too long to bear. I scream out my lovely's name, and groan in pleasure as my partner pushes harder. I scream again, and all is lost within me.

Again upon a dark floor my eyes gaze within first wake. Left in a room, I look around, nothing familiar but the grinning face in front of me. In my partner's room, and in his bed I lay, he kisses me gently. I smile at the tender touch, once again reliving my happiness with Siberian. My past. Of a woman I once loved. Yes, I loved Asuka. But I killed her. Such the life of an assassin. Happiness is not for killers, is it? So God made me this way. It was destined that Ken not love me. It was my fate to be here, wasn't it? I always knew I wasn't destined to love. I fall into the dark as my partner rapes me again... and again... and again.


Although... it can't be rape if one isn't consious to feel it, right? So I become a doll. A doll who is programmed. A doll who cannot feel, cannot love, cannot hate. Then what is this growing anger in my chest at my leader? What is this growing pit in my stomach for my ex-lover? I smile slightly, and chuckle a bit. Even if I am a doll, I'm disfunctional. That's why everyone always gives me back.

Until morning, I am lost within myself. A mindless yearning for need, and a incesant man inside me.