Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh.

The pairings introduced right now:
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi

The crushes introduced right now:
Jounounchi/Mai
Seto/Yuugi

Thanks to Relinquished for stepping up and beta-ing!

Warning, this chapter is sad (translate as you may).

Chapter de Fifth: Swallowing the World

I feel very sympathetic to all the portable luggage containers in the world. The trunks of automobiles are not very nice places, being cramped and hard to move around in.

Believe me, I know.

I woke up in Kaiba's car. I'd already planned another date by then, since I had trouble getting to sleep. Him and Yuugi were a success, he told me, driving home from the game shop. In the night, Kaiba had offered to take Yuugi home while I was still in the car. Kaiba called his cell phone and told me to get out of the car and go in the back. I would have just hid outside and waited till they left, but Yuugi was planning to meet me at Kaiba's after he got some sleep. So, I was forced to ride in the trunk, while my shortest friend got the back seat.

Now I'm at Kaiba's again, holding a staring contest with Mokuba. In all, I can assume I've only had two hours of sleep tonight. This is at maximum.

"You blinked!" Mokuba screams energetically when my eyes flutter closed. He's awake, alive. If any of us should die in their sleep, it would probably have to be me. I need to find whatever sugar supplement everyone seems to be taking. I'm the only one who has trouble sleeping, and then dozes off in class. I wish Ms. Teacher Lady would sell recordings of her lectures so I could sleep at night. She's got a gift.

"Bakura, you awake? Don't start sleeping again. Believe it or not, you're more boring when taking a nap," he orders, smacking the side of my head. My eyes shoot open and I glare at him. Can he not get it? I was up almost all night.

"You two having fun?" Kaiba asks. There's an annoying ring in his usually hollow voice that echoes. Well, someone's happy this morning. Go figure.

I sigh and place my head in my arms, staring at my bowl of undesired cereal. We are sitting in the dining room again, Kaibas having long finished off their breakfast and me just staring at mine.

"Are you gonna eat, Bakura?" Mokuba asks, eyeing my food ravenously.

I sigh and shake my head, pushing the bowl towards him. Mokuba grabs it and begins to consume my entire portion.

"Eat much, Mokuba?" I ask lazily.

"Do you?" Kaiba interjects.

I shake my head and look at the walls. There are two doors on three of these. There are four walls. That means there are six ways of entrance. I know this in my head, but I have to turn and count, just to make sure.

"Bakura, what are you doing?" Kaiba asks annoyed as I turn to make sure there are as many doors as I know there are. I look at the big two paneled exits/entrances. One and two behind me. A couple more to my right. The final pair at my left. Six doors.

"Bakura?" Kaiba asks again. I turn to him and my eyes widen. Four windows are behind him! Six and four are ten! Ten exit/entrances!

But then the doors are two paneled, so does that make them two separate ones?

"Kaiba, if a door has two sides that open and close, is it one door or just two very close together?" I ask him.

Kaiba looks at me and some surprise filters through his relaxed expression.

"I don't know, Bakura," he answers slowly. I watch the contemplation on his face. I find I tend to confuse Kaiba a lot. It's strange to watch his cold, hard expression turn to non-understanding and bewilderment.

I've come to assume he thinks I'm crazy. He's probably wondering what's wrong with me.

"I won't know how many entrances there are to this room," I lament to myself. I'm shocked at how disappointed I sound, but then, detail always gets me. That's why I'm not failing school. On essay questions, I give books about everything I learned during the lesson. This shows I was paying some kind of attention to Ms. Teacher Lady, and I present all my ideas reasonably, not randomly.

And I can't get anything wrong when I'm counting. I have to be correct, or my insides knot uncomfortably till I panic.

"You could count how many holes in the walls to make these doors or double doors," Kaiba suggests suddenly, surprising me. The information is straightforward and, suddenly, seems to be an obvious answer I should have found on my own.

I nod. This makes sense. How many openings were the walls given? Ten. It's ten with the windows.

I calm down and try to rest again.

"There, you happy now, Bakura?" he asks. I'm still surprised he was able to solve my dilemma.

"Yes, sorry about that," I mutter, hiding my head in my arms.

Yuugi always sat and waited it out when I had trouble over-thinking things. Otogi would make fun of me till he thought I'd stopped. I've never had someone actually find a loophole and work around the issue. I feel like I've cheated the law and it's still legal. I can't believe Kaiba found such an obvious solution. I can't believe he even tried to help. I wonder if he's had experience with insane persons? That would probably be it; that he's dealt with someone who did the same thing before. Kaiba's ability to just accept certain things about me makes me wonder. Otogi pretends like the problem never occurred, as does everyone else. Kaiba actually looks at it for a while, thinks, and gets over it, throwing in random advice that seems a lot better than Otogi's snarky comment, Yuugi's sympathetic looks, or, oh god, Jounouchi's lectures that make dead people glad they're just that.

The paranoid name thing was also a spout of idiocy. I guess, since Kaiba thinks everyone's a moron, I'm okay because I'm below his wonderful ego trip, body and mind. Of course, Kaiba tried to convince me that the name bits were old fashioned, but I'm not good with new ideas. I'm still trying to rein in that compulsive spurt telling me to be selfish and original.

And they call Jounouchi a pathetic dog.

I look at my empty cereal bowl next to Mokuba and straighten up in my seat. It looks like all of us are done with breakfast.

"When's Yuugi coming over?" I ask, standing up. Kaiba does likewise.

"Eight or nine," Kaiba informs me as we leave the room. I nod my head quietly and head for the library.

"Where are you going, Bakura?" Kaiba asks, following quickly.

"Library, that's were all the pens and paper are. I need to plan this out."

"What are you planning?" Kaiba asks as we enter the library and I grab the items I need.

"You and Yuugi's first date, Kaiba," I let him know as I sit at the table. "We have roughly an hour till he comes and you're going to invite him to dinner."

Kaiba nods enthusiastically, though his face is as impassive as ever. This is actually a strange, curious thing to see. I wonder vaguely if Yuugi was able to change some of that emotionless expression last night.

"Do you know any good restaurants? Yuugi likes Asian," I tell him, pen poised and ready to mark my paper.

"Dai Dai," he suggests. I blink at him moronically for a few seconds before it hits me. This is the name of a restaurant.

"Is it near the city park?" I ask quickly, somehow thinking to make up for my slow, mindless phase by talking as fast as I can, politely. I've never heard of Dai Dai. It's probably too expensive for me to even dream about.

"Yes," he tells me. I write down the name.

"Okay, you take Yuugi there and let him order whatever he wants," I command childishly.

"The reason I wouldn't do this?" he asks. He's kidding in that totally unfunny Kaiba way. I glare at him.

"Okay Kaiba, just who is planning here, you or me?"

Kaiba nods and lets me continue. I'm trying to recall the idea I got last night and not fall asleep at the same time.

"Okay, you go there and eat, say it's like a cheer up celebration or something." I start recollecting and writing as Kaiba listens closely.

"Then you take him to the park, Yuugi likes it there, by the water fountain." Kaiba nods at every pause.

"Now there's a flower vender just a few turns away, behind the trees," I continue while copying the layout of the park near the fountain; "You leave him alone in this clearing by the pretty lights."

"What?" Kaiba asks, surprised he's going to leave Yuugi.

"I'll come up and talk with him while you get flowers. Yuugi likes red roses, but this date is going to be under friendship so you'll have to see if the man selling has any mums, since Yuugi thinks that it's a funny name."

"Why do you talk to Yuugi?" he asks, unsure about that point.

"I'm going to convince him you're great and must really like him, and that no, you are not an egotistical maniac, because you're doing all this wonderfully nice stuff. Till I leave, you hide behind the trees and wait, okay?"

Kaiba nods again, looking over my notes.

"And then what do I do?" he asks, skimming the paper.

"Talk, walk, whatever till you take Yuugi home I guess." I conclude lamely as my thinking burst stops.

Kaiba studies my diagram of the park. "Is this really what the park looks like?"

"Yes, of course," I growl at his judge of my mapping skills.

"Really?" he asks, raising his eyebrows at the primitive circle with something that looks like wings coming out the top. That happens to be my unique interpretation of the water fountain.

"Believe me, that's the park, I've been there," I sigh, snatching the paper back from the art expert.

"When? Sounds like a romantic spot, Bakura," he remarks with a slight smirk.

"Otogi showed me before I broke the news that I was cheating on him with my toothbrush," I inform him, not caring how stupid this sounds. He's already convinced I'm insane.

"You don't say," Kaiba says, a little nervously.

"Yes, I let the brush in my mouth every night after we went out. I told him it taste better." I grin.

"You and your friends are crazy, Bakura. I hope Yuugi doesn't two time me with mouthwash."

"You never know, that kid's quite the heartbreaker."

Otogi laughs as I repeat to him what I told Seto Kaiba about the toothbrush. We're in a fast food restaurant and quite a few people are watching him nervously.

"I remember that!" he rejoices. "You broke my heart that day, you know."

I look down and smile while he, mildly, roars.

"So Kaiba's got something for our little Motou?" he asks again.

"Yes, and he wants me to help. I still can't believe I've progress so much from 'babysitting' Mokuba."

"You know," Otogi remarks with mock seriousness, "I never would have guessed."

"I know, they never did seem to talk much, did they?" I add, as Otogi grins stupidly again. It's obvious this isn't true; Yuugi was the only one of all of us who talked to, or even mentioned, Kaiba in conversation.

"So, you have them going to the park and Kaiba's buying mums?" he asks, to make sure.

"Yes, I made it all up last night."

"Well I'm proud for you then, you can arrange marriages, Bakura," he says. I've told Otogi about my brain's death when it came to strategy and organization many times before.

"And you're going to convince Yuugi that Kaiba is what he needs? Interesting, I'd like to see you mess that up, Mahout." He smirks. I glare at him. I hate that name. It isn't even Japanese; it's from India or something. I don't even know why he calls me that.

Elephant driver? Why, Otogi?

"I'm not going to mess up, so you'll have nothing to observe, Inu Baka," I snap back casually.

"Ouch, where did you learn that one? Kaiba?" he remarks, feigning moral injury.

"You, actually," I answer. I do learn my insults from Otogi; he has a colourful opinion sometimes.

"I'd never say that," Otogi replies, sounding sarcastically insulted.

I sigh and shake my head at him. He knows he says a lot worse than how I'd be willing to insult.

"I'm genuinely surprised you're helping Kaiba get Yuugi," Otogi says, after a moment of silence. I turn to him in amusement, only to see his face isn't very comical.

"Why?" I ask curiously.

"I don't know. I always thought you'd be better with Kaiba, personally," he remarks.

"Hell no." I choke. What is he trying to pull?

Otogi's face is still thoughtful, and he isn't smirking. I watch him, surprised, as there is little reason for him to tell me such a thing. I've never thought of myself with Kaiba; never ever. He's untouchable, rich and way too high for my father's new fashion modesty knowing his place in middle class, which I just happened to pick up. Kaiba wanted something, someone, and could get them, not vice versa.

"It's just how you act. You don't insult others back unless you're annoyed, and then you're only joking," this new, self-appointed personality expert tells me.

"Everyone lashes out at Kaiba except you and Yuugi. You also don't talk a lot and any egocentric idiot would appreciate that, as he could get his words in without having to worry that you'll try to solve the problem unless asked," Otogi tells me. He makes me sound like such a pushover.

I glare at Otogi. Okay, I guess I know now that Otogi can't read my mind. I'm a terribly rude person up in my thoughts.

"What are you trying to do to me, Otogi?" I ask, paining the politeness with vocal strain.

"Ruin your life, remember?" he smarts. It seems everyone loves to snap back at me these days with annoyed sarcasm. I can only match this in my thoughts, as I never really liked bothering people too much.

"Well, please stop it soon," I request.

"When I get around to it." He sighs, "But you and Kaiba look good together."

"When did you see us together?" I ask in alarm.

"My dirty little mind," he sneers.

"You pervert. Why am I still talking to you?"

We're interrupted before Otogi can answer.

"Hey, Bakura!" a voice yells not very happily behind me. I cringe, as though death just laid a bone cold hand on my shoulder. No, it wasn't Anzu, it was worse. "I wanna talk to you!"

"Good afternoon, Jounouchi," I greet, as he comes into my vision. He's glaring like mad.

I'm so very happy Jounouchi hasn't acquired laser beams for his eyes. Otherwise I'd be nothing more than a few charred remains.

"I didn't get to talk with you about your," he pauses in disgust, "decision."

I creep down lower into my chair as Otogi smirks. I hope Otogi stays, or Jounouchi will kill me. I think I'm about to have one of those near death experiences I've read about.

Jounouchi grabs a chair and sits across from me.

"Why did you spend the night at Kaiba's last night?" he asks. I look at him confused. Why, what did he think I was doing?

"Oh yes, Bakura, what were you doing? Do tell, do tell!" Otogi mocks even though he knows. I just told him.

"Kaiba wanted me to help with something, why?" I question him.

"Well thank God you still call him Kaiba, I don't want to hear any of that Seto stuff like Yuugi," he complains and then sits forward seriously.

"Now, let me get one point to you," Jounouchi sets up for a lecture. Otogi yawns loudly and Jounouchi glares at him.

"Do you mind?" Jounouchi asks.

"Well, no," Otogi replies flatly. Jounouchi just sighs and continues.

"Kaiba is a bad thing for everyone and it would be best that he was never born, understand?" Jounouchi says. Ouch, it was best if Kaiba was never born? I'm starting to wonder who's nicer to the enemy, Kaiba or Jounouchi.

"You should never help and/or support Kaiba in ANYTHING at all." He states. Looks a lot like I broke a rule there.

"Stop babysitting Mokuba." He orders, as Otogi starts to laugh. Jounouchi glares at him more intensely.

"What so funny?" he growls. Otogi bursts out again at the doggie sound in the question.

"Will you shut up while I talk to Bakura?" Jounouchi snaps. Slowly, Otogi calms down.

"What makes you think Bakura's going to listen to you?" he asks with a wide grin.

"Because I know what's best for him, unlike you, Clown boy," Jounouchi says. I'm offended. Since when did Jounouchi know wherein my best interests lay? I also watch Otogi's face grow frighteningly dark. Only I can call him a clown and live, because of our joke. From anyone else, it's an insult.

"Say that again, Katsuya," Otogi challenges, looking very frightening. I all but hide under the table as they size each other up. I decide quickly that I'm on Otogi's side. He's very mad now.

"You're father's a clown, you're a dice freak, and the only reason we talk to you is because Yuugi's nice to everyone and you've won over Bakura," Jounouchi snaps.

I've never heard someone insult Otogi so much in one sentence, ever. Neither has Otogi apparently, since all he does is stare, helpless, at the man-eating dog's wrath. I feel sorry for him, not because what Jounouchi says is the truth, but that Otogi sometimes tells me he thinks it is so. I try to convince him it's not, but he just shrugs the matter off and changes the subject. Really, I'm Otogi's one good friend, his only real friend, and not there because he's rich like everyone else he knows in school. That's why he always tries to help me, even when I think he's just being difficult. Now, as Jounouchi's words strike home, he is powerless to their effect.

"Stop it," I order, rising up from my position on the ground suddenly. I'm just as surprised at what I'm doing as the two of them are.

"Otogi, you're father's a clown," Otogi glares at me and Jounouchi smirks. I turn to him, "and Jounouchi, shouldn't you be busy hitting on Mai or something and not trying to help me?"

Jounouchi pales as he stares at me. Jounouchi loves Mai more than any of his other crushes, he's down right obsessed with the girl (yes, Jounouchi is strange). I know this, even though Jounouchi denies it all the time. Bringing it up does not improve his mood.

"Shut up," Jounouchi snaps and I bail, quickly sitting down. I'm shocked at what I just did. I think I'm going insane now. Jounouchi isn't a bad person and I just insulted him. Why did I do that? He's going to think Kaiba is rubbing off on me. I know this, and also that then no one's going to think of me the same. I'll be the little Kaiba disciple and they will snub me. Then Kaiba will finally get Yuugi and drop all attention from my existence. Finally I'll be alone, what I deserve.

I start to study the specks of grease on the table as Jounouchi storms out. Otogi is watching me, surprised, and nervously I start muttering, counting the dots aloud.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen—"

There is a hand on my head and I keep counting.

"Bakura?" Otogi asks.

"Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty—"

"Ryou, look at me," he tries again.

"Please, leave me alone," I mutter and get up, brushing past him and out the door.

Otogi doesn't follow as I'm having my mental breakdown. I don't need to be followed now; I need to crack up in peace.

Once again, I feel like I'm in a terrible place, a cramped place, like the boot of a certain limousine. I'm tense and I want to get out, snap and yell at everyone who's ever ticked me off. I want to take on official, national treasure out with a lighter and see which has the stronger appeal.

I want to ruin someone else's life the same way mine has been thrown. I want to distract them as the world turns, then leave for them to try and find the pace again by themselves. I want to grab all their morals away, tell them what to dream, and then let them observe all they want. As they try to get to what they want, I tow it all farther away.

I want to treat the world like it's treated, and is treating, me. I was comfortable before, thinking of others though they never thought I should. Watching as everyone climbed, while I supported the last steps, when everyone else had failed to a certain point; this was how I helped. Someone was crying, they were sad, I was there right before they became okay and just talked them through or did nothing at all. Nobody wanted my attention and I didn't really want to give it.

Then I discovered this person named Ryou Bakura, who attacked me, grabbed my thoughts and forced me to think about myself. I couldn't do it at all. I could not see a person at all. I saw a little bug, trapped in molasses, taking every cold wind as it blew, contently slurping away at my sugary existence.

But Ryou Bakura wasn't happy stuck in the goo. He kicked me out and got rid of the mess, till I slowly became obsessed with the idea of change, of helping others before they wanted it and praying it all didn't blow up in my face.

Now I'm here, hurting friends, and for what? To help some emotionally deficient businessman and his secret obsession over a prodigious little duellist, who I will kill the tormenter of? I'm going to place people in challenging positions and watch them try to get out, never suspecting I meant to do this?

Yeah, I'd actually do that. Sure.

I could never be that cruel, I could never smirk that sadistically, and I could never even stay that atrocious in my thoughts. I can't believe I want to take the world and just swallow it whole. I'd never want to kick it down, to where I couldn't see.

I'm a good person, even if I prove to have the current bought of melodramatic sessions.

If you want to point fingers, my other self is in the ring and my fading father is in Egypt somewhere.

But I'm not depressed, no. I'm okay. I'm fine.

I wonder how Kaiba and Yuugi are right now. Are they okay for tonight?

I'm happy here and I have a date to catch, alone by the pretty lights in the park. Yuugi will be there with Kaiba and I can't miss my cue.

Excuse me while I try to make a list of all the wonderful things about the great one and only, Seto Kaiba.

This may take a while now.

But I'm not depressed, no. I'm okay. I'm fine.

(Just keep telling yourself that, baka.)

I look around the dim park. Mokuba sits at my shoulder with the binoculars, legs dangling limply from the tree branch he is on. I have the feeling we look like a pair of sick perverts now and are just waiting to be found and kicked out of the park for life.

"Are they out yet?" I ask quietly.

"No," he mutters, "but that that couple by the oak is sure getting it on."

"What?" I ask as Mokuba smirks. "Were you even watching for Kaiba and Yuugi, or are you too interested in other peoples' lives?"

Mokuba smirks at me again and adjusts the focus.

"Give me those," I command, grabbing the binoculars.

I turn the scopes to the Dai Dai restaurant, a few blocks away, just in time to see Yuugi and the billionaire exit together.

"Here they come, you stay here," I order.

"Aw, why couldn't you put me in this plan somewhere? What do I get to do while you tell Yuugi how awesome Seto is?"

"Count leaves?" I suggest, jumping down from the branch I've been perched on for two hours and walking away. Mokuba pouts and continues spying around the area.

My legs are a bit sore as I progress to the fountain. I sit on the long, round rim and await my moment to appear. The stone is very cold and I'm thankful I don't have to freeze long.

"Here Yuugi, wait here as I go get some flowers from that vender behind the trees, I want them to be a little surprise," I hear Kaiba order softly.

"Okay, Seto, I'll wait, if you really want to surprise me." Yuugi answers.

I listen as Kaiba walks away. When his footsteps are no longer very audible, I decide to get Yuugi's attention.

"Hello, Yuugi!" I greet from my seat on the fountain. He turns around, surprised.

"Bakura?" he asks in pleasant alarm, "what are you doing here? Are you by yourself? Jounouchi told me you blew up at him and Otogi today, what happened?"

I blush and look down. "Nothing, just feeling a bit," I pause and try to find a word, "tense, that's all. I guess with so many of you all angry at me because of the whole Mokuba thing, you know."

"I'm really sorry about that, Bakura," Yuugi apologizes.

"It isn't your fault, Yuugi," I defend him from himself.

Yuugi walks over and watches me sadly. I wonder how pathetic I must look, sitting on the rim of a beautiful water fountain in the dark, at such a romantic spot, like I'm a depressed alone soul who's gotten terribly lost.

"But I should have told them to give you a break, that you were just trying to be nice to Seto," he complains. I look at him with a look, which, I hope, is pleasant alarm.

"Seto Kaiba?" I ask. "Weren't you just walking with him?"

Yuugi blushes slightly and looks at his feet. "Yeah, he's been real nice lately."

"You don't say? What has he been doing?" I ask.

"All sorts of things. You know about yesterday, of course, where he saw me at your apartment?" I nod for him to keep going. "And now he's just brought dinner at that restaurant Dai Dai, not very cheap. For your sake, I didn't request anything with lobster. Seto thought it was funny."

"He did, did he now? That doesn't sound like the Kaiba all the rest of us know," I say, egging more billionaire praise from Yuugi.

"Well he's different." Yuugi pauses as an idea hits him. "Remember when I told you about the eyes?" he asks. My heart involuntarily begins to race as I recollect my thoughts about how Yuugi would love Kaiba's eyes.

"Yes," I reply, slightly short of breath, "yes, I remember that you said you wanted to banish all that hardness and see how beautiful his gaze could really be."

Yuugi blinks at me slightly and I blush. "Um, I probably exaggerated it a bit, but you understand, Yuugi. You speak kinda dramatically sometimes."

"Well, yeah," Yuugi forgives me. "Seto has pretty eyes."

"Is that all?" I ask tauntingly. Yuugi blushes now.

"No," he mutters.

"Do you like Kaiba?" I ask it a bit frankly. Yuugi nods, redder that I think I could have ever been. "Do you think he likes you too?"

Yuugi looks down nervously. I quickly decide to save him from his doubts.

"I think he does,' I whisper quietly. Yuugi looks at me hopefully and I can't help but smile.

"You do?" he asks happily.

"Well yes, I mean look at all the things he's done for you. He's forgotten to get my toothbrush to comfort you," I begin to tick off on my fingers, "he's let you come to his house to see me today. He's taken you out to dinner and paid. And he's walked with you in the park. In fact, where is he now?" I ask.

"He's buying me surprise flowers," the bashful boy answers.

"See? He buys you," my voice cracks suddenly, against my will, and I cough loudly to clear it, "He buys you--flowers, now."

Yuugi nods, ignoring my emotional reflex into tearless chokes. I suddenly picture Kaiba getting bored with the Motou and leaving him far behind, alone and broken. I remember the feeling of rejection I received when my father left for months. I was like Yuugi before then, polite and loved by all for my charismatic nature. Now everyone feels sorry for my frequent depression. I realize now that, if Kaiba hurts Yuugi, I will kill him. I watch over the Motou like Otogi watches over me. I can't let the billionaire do anything that may scar Yuugi's outlook forever.

"I think I really like Seto, Bakura," Yuugi tells me. I'm slightly surprised, and happy, that no one has ever heard these words but me. I smile at him.

"I think you do, too," I say, because repeating Yuugi back to himself negates me having to say anything substantial. Yuugi smiles back for a while, until there's a dramatic change.

Yuugi looks up at me sadly and I try to remember if I'd said anything wrong. He looks ready to cry and, suddenly, I'm scared for him; that something is killing him and I don't know.

"What is it, Yuugi?" I ask fearfully.

"You," he remarks and I almost scream. How can I ruin such a wonderful night for him?

"What have I done…? I don't understand, Yuugi." I ask worried.

Yuugi sighs and shakes his head. "Bakura, I'm happy and I know it, okay? But you, I can't see what's wrong with you," he complains lightly. I watch him in surprise.

"I'm here falling happily for Seto while you're all alone. I just realized that you're always alone. You'd rather see everyone else happy while you stay down and I wonder: why? How can you do that? I'm nervous that you're going to kill yourself or something, and none of us will know what happened to make you so sad."

"That's not going to happen Yuugi, I'm not going to hate you for falling in love. I want to see you and Seto together, I want to see you happy," I say nervously. Did Yuugi always worry about me when he did things? Why do all my friend have such low opinions of my emotional stability? I'm just quiet.

"You're lying to yourself, Bakura. Nobody is that unselfish!" he sighs in frustration at me, "It's obvious in how you blew up at Jounouchi and Otogi. I can't believe you ran from Otogi, you and him are such great friends! Something's bothering you."

I look at Yuugi, confused. How did a conversation about Kaiba turn to ugly me so soon?

"But I want you thinking about Kaiba now, Yuugi," I plead. "I'll feel guilty if you worry about me while you're with him. Kaiba loves you and you love him. Don't worry about me, I don't need a relationship I don't want to feel okay; I'm fine by myself."

I try to get him to understand. I try to make him see he has to love Kaiba and not wonder if I'm going to 'kill myself or something'. I don't care about being alone; I've always been alone. I'm a very patient and passive person. I didn't mean to yell at Jounouchi earlier, but I'm over it. He needs to get over it too.

I look around desperately for Kaiba to save me. I'm suddenly scared to see him, though. He needs to be with Yuugi and Yuugi needs to be with him, I don't know why, but it has to be that way. I planned this, it has to work, or I'll break down. I'll fall apart if this bombs. They aren't supposed to think about anyone but each other, not the little Matchmaker 2003 here. I've done my part.

"I gotta go, Yuugi," I excuse myself hastily. I suddenly don't want to be here when Kaiba comes. I messed up, now Yuugi will not be thinking about him, he'll be worrying about my sanity. I don't want Kaiba to see what a horrible mistake I've made for him to deal with.

I walk away swiftly, with one last look over my shoulder at Yuugi's face. Yuugi is a caring person, full of sympathy for others. Seto is a distant mind; concerned with what he loves and trying to solve all the problems he sees, just to prove he is an existence to be reckoned with. I'm a half person, locking my goals and dreams away till I can't see them and running to the corners of the world for others.

Well, I'm a worried person now. I might as well have stabbed Yuugi with a knife. I realized I just made the pairing from hell. It will never work. One of the two will get hurt, if not both. They might blame me. The world is over.

I can see now why I'm never the first to solve things. I'm a stupid idiot who seriously needs a check with reality sometime soon. I've just ruined the lives of two people who have tried to help me in their own ways. Yuugi tried to help me recover a bit of the normalness I lost so long ago, and Seto tried to help me deal with the weirdness I'm forced to live with now.

Count the holes in the wall for each door, Bakura. Are you okay now?

"What do you want?" I snap at my lobster as he taps the tub with his claw. I've walked all the way home in my depression. Now I'm sitting on the bathroom floor next to the only other living thing in the house. He taps the tub again as if asking me to explain.

"I just swallowed the world and it's now being destroyed. Enjoy the last days of your life," I say. The lobster just waves his antenna.

"It's not my fault!" I yell at him as he taps the tub mockingly, "I didn't mean to do it!"

The lobster splashes at me and it sounds like he hates me too.

"Stop, I didn't mean to!" I cry, very near tears. "I just wanted to help. That's what I do, I help people!" I exclaim, before storming from the room and locking the lobster inside. I can still hear him moving around, telling me how horrible I've been, that I should have just waited till Yuugi asked for my help in getting him a boyfriend. I should have made sure Kaiba really did like Yuugi, wasn't just fond of him.

I fall into the couch, not even able to start crying as I remember what Yuugi said about me being alone, how I thought I liked it.

I don't, it's actually the most terrible thing in the world. I'm never not alone anymore with that other self in my head, if you'll excuse the correct form of double negatives. No one sees this; no one understands how hard I take separation.

And now everyone is going to leave me because I've failed. They will all blame the future break up on me and my stupid strategy.

I'm horrible at planning. I thought if I swallowed the world, I could claim it, take control. I thought I could shove the humanity, the selfishness in me, down under some cover, where it all would eventually be smothered.

But it's too much for me; I'm dying of lacking to digest what I've taken in.

As my life falls apart, one thought will take over my mind at last:

It's my fault I'm alone, and I always will be. (A)

Notes and stuff:

A: Hehe, I decided not to have Yami no Bakura put his two cents in there. I let this end all emotional and junk.

That has got to me my shortest chapter yet and less funny, don't you agree?