A/N: So sorry for the delay! Things have gotten crazy and I know this
kinda shorter than my last but just as intense! Have fun reading; get some
tissues, and review, review, review!
His brow was completely drenched in sweat and the compress on the back of his neck was not helping at all. His mind was completely empty of all thoughts except those damning his body and technology. The bathroom floor was cold against his skin as he sunk further and further down the wall as he leaned against the toilette. The liquids burned in his throat in his mouth. He gripped his cell phone tightly in his shaking hands. There were thoughts of calling her again and leaving another message but she hadn't returned the last few that he left.
He felt feverish but consciously knew that he had no fever. He felt flu symptoms but knew he had no flu. This was a reaction, one he dreaded every time but now, he was in a different place with new doctors but it wasn't so different and they weren't that new. His life had become a massive circle of negations. Absolute fire was spreading through his abdomen and scorched his skin in its wake.
"You shouldn't be alone after something like this, Mr. Vaughn." The doctor had said after he had completed the treatment.
"Thanks." He replied, making it sound a bit more sarcastic than he meant it to.
"Who will be staying with you?" The doctor inquired, completely unconvinced.
"An old friend." He lied and quickly avoided the doctor's eyes.
Now he regretted that decision. The chemotherapy had left him weak and dying, or at least he felt it. *Either let me die or heal me.* He prayed to any G-d that would listen. He didn't go to church or synagogue or a mosque but he needed a G-d right now. He felt as though he was dying. The hotel room was nice enough to die in. Housekeeping would find him in the morning and the maid would be hysterical but they would take him to the morge-
His cell phone rang, thankfully bringing him out of his morbid thoughts, "Hello?" He answered listlessly; bring the phone to slowly to his ear.
"Hey man, how's it going?" Weiss's cheerful voice answered.
Vaughn groaned loudly than he wanted to and start to shake again, "I'm okay."
"You sound like hell." The joyfulness was pulled from his voice, "What's going on?"
It was now or never, "I'm staying at the Ocean Pointe Hotel, room 947. Can you come over?"
"You're in LA? What? When did you get in? Why didn't you tell me earlier? Does Sydney know?"
He groaned again at the thought of Sydney, "Weiss, please." He pleaded in between long, deep breaths for air. The nausea was back again and he knew there was nothing left in his stomach to go. He just needed a few moments to sit. He felt so weak and could only concentrate on his pain. His eyes had become slits from exhaustion and the graying circles beneath his eyes officially made him look like he had cancer. His hair was thinning and he just kept waiting to wake up completely bald. He kept cutting it closer and closer to his scalp. Pretty soon he would just have it all. His face had a gray hue to it and the only color were his war torn eyes that fell deep into their sockets, "Please."
He paused for moment, "It's back, isn't it?"
Vaughn muttered an agreement.
"Okay, man. Hang on for just a few more minutes. I'm on my way." Weiss's voice officially flooded with concern.
"Go to the front desk and tell them that you're there to pick up a package. I'll give you a key."
"Okay, man. Hang on. I'll be right there." CLICK
Vaughn dropped the phone into his lap and started to cry, "Why are you doing this to me? What the hell did I ever do wrong? It's bad enough you took my father away from me! My career took her way from me and I was almost killed more times that I care to count! Isn't that enough? Haven't I suffered enough for one lifetime? Why is my body turning against me? What did I ever do wrong? What did I ever do wrong?" He started to cry and slid further and further down, "Are you trying to kill me? I am supposed to die now?" His last words were lost for the tears started to take over and wrack his body. "I'm not strong enough to do this alone. I can't. I can't." With his last conscious thoughts, he grabbed his phone and dialed a number,
"Sydney. Syd, it's me. Please, if you're home, pick up. I need to- to-to" coughs began to wrack his body and take over his speech, "I need you to call me or something. Please. I'm begging you. I know I hurt you but I need to see you before.I'm staying at the Ocean Pointe Hotel, room 947. I know that you're upset with me and I honestly don't blame you but please. I'm begging you. I still love you and right now, I need you." He was forced to hang up as the bile swelled in his stomach and through his throat. The weakness and the tears took over again.
She sat by the couch and listened to his voice on the machine. Her body was curled up, wearing a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt. Her hair was longer than ever and tied back with a few pieces escaping the elastic and framing her face. Shiva was curled in her lap, purring against her owner's hands against her neck. It was a rare occasion that she was home this much and Shiva was enjoying every moment of it. Sydney's eyes had a foreign look to them as she starred straight ahead listening to his crying voice.
He sounded so weak and sick. But Vaughn never got sick and he was the strongest person she had ever encountered. He always stayed strong when she was so weak. But he sounded like he was at his worst and pleading tearfully for her to answer him. She was still too angry and too hurt at him for her to answer him right now. Since that dreaded phone call, five days ago, she had a series of desperate calls on her answering machine. She started to screen her calls and let her machine pick up more than ever. But she was constantly checking her machine from the Joint Task Force. She was still an agent, yes after all these years but she didn't seem to be going out into the filed as much as she was used to. She kept going through partners. Barnett screamed that she had become bitter since "Agent Vaughn left the LA office."
But he sounded so sick on the phone that she couldn't help but wonder what was going on. Playing this game of one sided telephone tag was probably getting boring for him but he was pleading with her to pick up the phone. Decidedly, she picked up her cordless phone and dialed a different number, "Weiss, it's me."
"You have no idea how happy I am that you called me." His cell phone responded.
"Why?" She smiled, thinking he had a joke or funny story to tell her.
But his voice was dry and serious, "You need to get to the Ocean Pointe Hotel, room 947 right now."
"Why? What's going on?" The shock began to rise in her voice.
"It's Mike."
She rolled her eyes, "He's calling you now too? He's absolutely that desperate to see me again? He's the one that left-"
His tone became brash and arrogant, "Sydney. Stop. You don't understand."
"What don't I understand? And don't patronize me like I'm some five- "
"Mike has cancer, Syd."
She went into absolute shock. Her body stopped functioning and the phone dropped out of her hand, much to Shiva's dismay, "Syd? Syd? Are you there?"
There was no more breathing or thinking. All of that training that she had went through to react quickly to things and move on was absolutely out the window. Her tongue ceased functioning and her mind went absolutely blank. She tried so hard to utter a coherent sentence. She started to tear up and felt her body go absolutely into shock and start shaking. She regained herself for a moment and gathered her phone back to her ear, "Yeah, yeah I'm here."
"I'm sorry to drop that on you but he's in LA for a new treatment and staying at that hotel. I really think you should see him."
"He probably doesn't want me to see him like, like that." She stammered.
"He's still in love with you. I mean, you know that right?"
"Then why did he leave?"
"Why don't you ask him yourself? C'mon, Syd. He's not doing that well. He just called me-"
"Yeah, I just a message from him."
"You knew he was in LA?"
"For about five days now."
Now he began to become irate, "What? Why didn't you tell me? Why?"
She matched him temper, "Because I wasn't sure what I was going to do about it! I've been getting messages everyday for nearly a week now and I don't know what I'm going to do about it!" She jumped up to her feet, sending Shiva crashing to the ground with a much protest.
"Well, now that you know, are you going to go and see him?"
"I can't."
"Sydney, he could be dying."
"No, he's not!" She screamed adamantly like a little girl being told that Santa Claus wasn't real.
"Lung cancer, Sydney! He was diagnosed with lung cancer and then it spread throughout his systems. He's dying, Syd, if this treatment doesn't work!" Weiss shouted back at her and it instantly quieted her, "He has lung cancer! They found a mass in his lung a week before he left! That's why he left! He didn't want you to know or to worry! There was a treatment on the East coast that was highly experimental but it was his only opinion. He went into remission but apparently, it's back and he's here. It would mean so much to him if you went and saw him. I'm in the car and I'm seven blocks away. I'm picking you up." And he hung up the phone.
Sydney stood there in shock and collapsed to the ground, racking her body with tears. She sobbed inconsolably. Shiva came up and rubbed against her owner, attempting to console her but it was no use. Each touch of her black fur was a reminder of Vaughn's touch. She staggered to her feet and made her way towards the back to her bedroom in the back of her apartment and pulling open her closet, absolutely frantic of what to wear. The tears still racked her body and she wanted to curl up in a corner and never go out into the harsh world that took Vaughn away from her. Why was he finally back and now he was dying? She leaned against her beige closet doors and sobbed as she attempted to catch her breath. Her chest refused to rise and the lack of oxygen made her dizzy. This was what Vaughn felt like to her. He made her dizzy but made her cry and fall apart all at the same time.
She settled on a pair of jeans and a slightly sexy and slinky black silk tank top that draped over her. She tied her hair back with a chopstick, painted black with a rhinestone detail and through a touch of make-up on. The tears finally stopped and she used her spy tricks to mask the red eyes and puffy eyes. She sniffled and finally looked in the mirror and smiled. She could catch her breath way and finally was able to think of something to say to Vaughn that would not be too sappy and sentimental. She was never the type to break down easily. She brushed her hand under her cheek, closing her eyes, and tried to remember the day that Vaughn left. He leaned forward, ran his hand under her cheek, kissed her softly and told her that he didn't want to leave but he had to..that the circumstances were unavoidable. Now she understood. She took another deep breath and placed her hands down, leaved over the sink, composed herself once more, looked in the mirror and as her eyes met their reflection, there was a knock on her door.
His brow was completely drenched in sweat and the compress on the back of his neck was not helping at all. His mind was completely empty of all thoughts except those damning his body and technology. The bathroom floor was cold against his skin as he sunk further and further down the wall as he leaned against the toilette. The liquids burned in his throat in his mouth. He gripped his cell phone tightly in his shaking hands. There were thoughts of calling her again and leaving another message but she hadn't returned the last few that he left.
He felt feverish but consciously knew that he had no fever. He felt flu symptoms but knew he had no flu. This was a reaction, one he dreaded every time but now, he was in a different place with new doctors but it wasn't so different and they weren't that new. His life had become a massive circle of negations. Absolute fire was spreading through his abdomen and scorched his skin in its wake.
"You shouldn't be alone after something like this, Mr. Vaughn." The doctor had said after he had completed the treatment.
"Thanks." He replied, making it sound a bit more sarcastic than he meant it to.
"Who will be staying with you?" The doctor inquired, completely unconvinced.
"An old friend." He lied and quickly avoided the doctor's eyes.
Now he regretted that decision. The chemotherapy had left him weak and dying, or at least he felt it. *Either let me die or heal me.* He prayed to any G-d that would listen. He didn't go to church or synagogue or a mosque but he needed a G-d right now. He felt as though he was dying. The hotel room was nice enough to die in. Housekeeping would find him in the morning and the maid would be hysterical but they would take him to the morge-
His cell phone rang, thankfully bringing him out of his morbid thoughts, "Hello?" He answered listlessly; bring the phone to slowly to his ear.
"Hey man, how's it going?" Weiss's cheerful voice answered.
Vaughn groaned loudly than he wanted to and start to shake again, "I'm okay."
"You sound like hell." The joyfulness was pulled from his voice, "What's going on?"
It was now or never, "I'm staying at the Ocean Pointe Hotel, room 947. Can you come over?"
"You're in LA? What? When did you get in? Why didn't you tell me earlier? Does Sydney know?"
He groaned again at the thought of Sydney, "Weiss, please." He pleaded in between long, deep breaths for air. The nausea was back again and he knew there was nothing left in his stomach to go. He just needed a few moments to sit. He felt so weak and could only concentrate on his pain. His eyes had become slits from exhaustion and the graying circles beneath his eyes officially made him look like he had cancer. His hair was thinning and he just kept waiting to wake up completely bald. He kept cutting it closer and closer to his scalp. Pretty soon he would just have it all. His face had a gray hue to it and the only color were his war torn eyes that fell deep into their sockets, "Please."
He paused for moment, "It's back, isn't it?"
Vaughn muttered an agreement.
"Okay, man. Hang on for just a few more minutes. I'm on my way." Weiss's voice officially flooded with concern.
"Go to the front desk and tell them that you're there to pick up a package. I'll give you a key."
"Okay, man. Hang on. I'll be right there." CLICK
Vaughn dropped the phone into his lap and started to cry, "Why are you doing this to me? What the hell did I ever do wrong? It's bad enough you took my father away from me! My career took her way from me and I was almost killed more times that I care to count! Isn't that enough? Haven't I suffered enough for one lifetime? Why is my body turning against me? What did I ever do wrong? What did I ever do wrong?" He started to cry and slid further and further down, "Are you trying to kill me? I am supposed to die now?" His last words were lost for the tears started to take over and wrack his body. "I'm not strong enough to do this alone. I can't. I can't." With his last conscious thoughts, he grabbed his phone and dialed a number,
"Sydney. Syd, it's me. Please, if you're home, pick up. I need to- to-to" coughs began to wrack his body and take over his speech, "I need you to call me or something. Please. I'm begging you. I know I hurt you but I need to see you before.I'm staying at the Ocean Pointe Hotel, room 947. I know that you're upset with me and I honestly don't blame you but please. I'm begging you. I still love you and right now, I need you." He was forced to hang up as the bile swelled in his stomach and through his throat. The weakness and the tears took over again.
She sat by the couch and listened to his voice on the machine. Her body was curled up, wearing a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt. Her hair was longer than ever and tied back with a few pieces escaping the elastic and framing her face. Shiva was curled in her lap, purring against her owner's hands against her neck. It was a rare occasion that she was home this much and Shiva was enjoying every moment of it. Sydney's eyes had a foreign look to them as she starred straight ahead listening to his crying voice.
He sounded so weak and sick. But Vaughn never got sick and he was the strongest person she had ever encountered. He always stayed strong when she was so weak. But he sounded like he was at his worst and pleading tearfully for her to answer him. She was still too angry and too hurt at him for her to answer him right now. Since that dreaded phone call, five days ago, she had a series of desperate calls on her answering machine. She started to screen her calls and let her machine pick up more than ever. But she was constantly checking her machine from the Joint Task Force. She was still an agent, yes after all these years but she didn't seem to be going out into the filed as much as she was used to. She kept going through partners. Barnett screamed that she had become bitter since "Agent Vaughn left the LA office."
But he sounded so sick on the phone that she couldn't help but wonder what was going on. Playing this game of one sided telephone tag was probably getting boring for him but he was pleading with her to pick up the phone. Decidedly, she picked up her cordless phone and dialed a different number, "Weiss, it's me."
"You have no idea how happy I am that you called me." His cell phone responded.
"Why?" She smiled, thinking he had a joke or funny story to tell her.
But his voice was dry and serious, "You need to get to the Ocean Pointe Hotel, room 947 right now."
"Why? What's going on?" The shock began to rise in her voice.
"It's Mike."
She rolled her eyes, "He's calling you now too? He's absolutely that desperate to see me again? He's the one that left-"
His tone became brash and arrogant, "Sydney. Stop. You don't understand."
"What don't I understand? And don't patronize me like I'm some five- "
"Mike has cancer, Syd."
She went into absolute shock. Her body stopped functioning and the phone dropped out of her hand, much to Shiva's dismay, "Syd? Syd? Are you there?"
There was no more breathing or thinking. All of that training that she had went through to react quickly to things and move on was absolutely out the window. Her tongue ceased functioning and her mind went absolutely blank. She tried so hard to utter a coherent sentence. She started to tear up and felt her body go absolutely into shock and start shaking. She regained herself for a moment and gathered her phone back to her ear, "Yeah, yeah I'm here."
"I'm sorry to drop that on you but he's in LA for a new treatment and staying at that hotel. I really think you should see him."
"He probably doesn't want me to see him like, like that." She stammered.
"He's still in love with you. I mean, you know that right?"
"Then why did he leave?"
"Why don't you ask him yourself? C'mon, Syd. He's not doing that well. He just called me-"
"Yeah, I just a message from him."
"You knew he was in LA?"
"For about five days now."
Now he began to become irate, "What? Why didn't you tell me? Why?"
She matched him temper, "Because I wasn't sure what I was going to do about it! I've been getting messages everyday for nearly a week now and I don't know what I'm going to do about it!" She jumped up to her feet, sending Shiva crashing to the ground with a much protest.
"Well, now that you know, are you going to go and see him?"
"I can't."
"Sydney, he could be dying."
"No, he's not!" She screamed adamantly like a little girl being told that Santa Claus wasn't real.
"Lung cancer, Sydney! He was diagnosed with lung cancer and then it spread throughout his systems. He's dying, Syd, if this treatment doesn't work!" Weiss shouted back at her and it instantly quieted her, "He has lung cancer! They found a mass in his lung a week before he left! That's why he left! He didn't want you to know or to worry! There was a treatment on the East coast that was highly experimental but it was his only opinion. He went into remission but apparently, it's back and he's here. It would mean so much to him if you went and saw him. I'm in the car and I'm seven blocks away. I'm picking you up." And he hung up the phone.
Sydney stood there in shock and collapsed to the ground, racking her body with tears. She sobbed inconsolably. Shiva came up and rubbed against her owner, attempting to console her but it was no use. Each touch of her black fur was a reminder of Vaughn's touch. She staggered to her feet and made her way towards the back to her bedroom in the back of her apartment and pulling open her closet, absolutely frantic of what to wear. The tears still racked her body and she wanted to curl up in a corner and never go out into the harsh world that took Vaughn away from her. Why was he finally back and now he was dying? She leaned against her beige closet doors and sobbed as she attempted to catch her breath. Her chest refused to rise and the lack of oxygen made her dizzy. This was what Vaughn felt like to her. He made her dizzy but made her cry and fall apart all at the same time.
She settled on a pair of jeans and a slightly sexy and slinky black silk tank top that draped over her. She tied her hair back with a chopstick, painted black with a rhinestone detail and through a touch of make-up on. The tears finally stopped and she used her spy tricks to mask the red eyes and puffy eyes. She sniffled and finally looked in the mirror and smiled. She could catch her breath way and finally was able to think of something to say to Vaughn that would not be too sappy and sentimental. She was never the type to break down easily. She brushed her hand under her cheek, closing her eyes, and tried to remember the day that Vaughn left. He leaned forward, ran his hand under her cheek, kissed her softly and told her that he didn't want to leave but he had to..that the circumstances were unavoidable. Now she understood. She took another deep breath and placed her hands down, leaved over the sink, composed herself once more, looked in the mirror and as her eyes met their reflection, there was a knock on her door.