Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh. Or anything else mentioned that belongs to someone else.
The pairings introduced right now:
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi
Jounouchi/Mai
The crushes introduced right now:
Ryou/Seto
Ryou/Lobster
Thanks to MarmaladeGirl for beta reading! She has an amazing amount of time on her hands and has made this chapter easier to read by far than others before it.
Also, thanks to Relinquished for beta-checking this chapter. She also has lots of time….
Chapter de Ninth: Dream On
I'm having the strangest dream. Kaiba is standing next to what I think dimly is a whale or something. I walk closer to see, rather obviously, it is a water fountain. How could I mistake it so? Kaiba is looking into the water. I do likewise, to see a creature down there.
It's a lobster.
I look at the lobster again as it swims/scurries around and around. Finally it splashes at Kaiba and me, soaking us both with an amazing amount of water. I look at it, but I'm not bothered, Kaiba isn't soaked at all. He turns to ask a question.
"Why are you dripping, Bakura?"
I shake my head and answer.
"I'm not dripping, my hair is just damp."
"Where's the water?" he asks.
Indeed, I am not longer wet. For some reason this doesn't bother me like it would in the rational world. Kaiba sighs and shakes his head softly.
"Konnichiwa, Bakura-kun! I'm a lobster!" a voce announces.
I look down at the lobster in annoyance. It sounds like Otogi and has his facial expression. Kaiba's left eyebrow arches in surprise. He looks from the lobster to me slowly, contemplating. I smile nervously and push the lobster back into the water.
"Ryuuji Otogi's an idiot," I say as bubbles shoot up from the struggling animal.
"I don't care," he tells me quietly.
"Sorry," I blush and release the lobster, slightly noticing it swimming away.
"Bakura?" he asks. I nod faintly.
"What should I obsess over next time? Yuugi's gone," he asks. I blink in surprise at his question. Why would Kaiba say that? My dreams are too mental for comprehension. Where the hell did Otogi-lobster go?
"I'll obsess over you, how does that sound? Would you like that Bakura?" he asks, leaning forward. I realize suddenly, I would. I'd enjoy that quite well.
"Bakura? Hey, wake up."
A familiar voice is calling somewhere. I can hear it, but I have no idea what or where it is.
Otogi the lobster has returned.
"Quiet, lobster, I'm talking with someone," I inform him.
"I'm not a lobster Bakura, and I think you need to wake up," the voice commands as the earth spins.
Quickly I open my eyes to see Otogi holding my shoulders and shaking me roughly to knock away my sleepiness.
"What? Where? Excuse me! " I sputter in temporary memory loss. I look around wearily, barely remembering the slightest trace of Kaiba acting weird and some random dream.
"What's going on?" I ask loudly as I realize I'm in the park. How did I get here? Why am I yelling?
"Bakura, calm down," Otogi scowls gently as I start to recall the reason I'm here. I'm soon relaxed again as I realize it wasn't by accident.
Wait. I am here on accident. I crashed myself right into a big mess. I'm quickly remembering Kaiba and the infamous break up.
"How is Yuugi?" I ask calmly. I enjoy how reasonable I sound. It's nearly funny now.
"Fine, why?" Otogi asks confused.
"Him and Kaiba are no longer together," I inform him bluntly like it's a stale fact everyone knows now.
"Really?" he asks in false surprise. I nod and sit up the best I can, having just arose.
"Kaiba told me." I shrug. I really hope it seems I don't care.
"When?"
I falter. My voice is refusing to come forth. I don't think it wants to lie about my emotions for me again. I don't think I want to either.
How do you bribe your voice to speak? Mine is rebelling. What do you use to persuade vocal cords to cooperate?
"Are you okay, Bakura?" Otogi asks slowly with all that wonderful concern of his. Since I can't speak to him I shake my head.
"What's wrong?"
I don't know what's wrong. Is insane a good thing? Is denial a good thing? Is counting a good thing? What is 'wrong'? What is so bad to be incorrect? Am I incorrect? I'm just some screwed up, obsessive compulsive freak that should be locked up for the benefit of the public at large, aren't I?
"Bakura…?" Otogi asks again.
"What?"
"What's the matter?"
"Someone," my voice finally cooperates, just with Otogi though, not me. It's annoying, but then I sort of want it to say something. I want to blame it, probably later on, for everyone's sympathy on my moronic ideas.
Otogi takes this answer and consumes it slowly like I've just given some kind of lecture. That or I just presented him with a pie for breakfast. Since he is not eating right now though, I know he's comparing people in his mind, trying to see who could have upset me. I wonder if he'll be correct?
"Yuugi?" he asks finally. I pause to think. Well, maybe Yuugi does have something to do with all of this. But he isn't the only one, nor is he the one that really upset me. He was just a rung of the ladder leading up to the impossible confrontation.
"Among others," I mutter slowly, letting Otogi know he's close.
"Why would you go to Kaiba's at nine o'clock at night?" he asks flatly, getting the answer right on in his second guess. "You said he hates you."
"If you believe me every time I told you I was hated, you'd be well on thinking that the entire world and I weren't on speaking terms, Otogi," I answer him. "I tend to exaggerate temporary rejection. If some really hated me, I'd most likely sink onto denial."
Otogi nods at this answer, as he knows it is true. He's said I could convince myself there was no sun at noon if I was given reason enough.
"Why were you at Kaiba's?" he asks again, relentless in the topic.
"Conversation. I think Yuugi broke up with him yesterday or something. Either way, they are no longer together."
"Did he want to talk about Yuugi or just complain?" Otogi asked.
"He--" I stop. What was he talking about? I instantly think he was doing both, but how many times did he bring up Yuugi as in actually discussing the guy? I'm the one who brought my friend into the conversation and tried to rationalize his rejection, though I wasn't really asked to. The topic was actually my stupidity.
"He complained about what he was going to do. He thought I'd know."
"What did he think you knew about that?" Otogi mutters, shaking his head at what Kiaba could've possibly have been thinking.
"I don't know. I just went because he asked me to over the phone."
"You didn't have to go," Otogi points out.
"You don't have to worry, nothing happened."
"To Kaiba, nothing happened. I don't suppose you just risked being sent to jail just to sleep in the park for no apparent reason. What happened to you?" he asks. I'm too surprised to scowl at him and his strange understandings.
"My other self," I answer. The words just fly to my lips so quickly these days. Who did it? My other self. What's wrong with you? My other self. Why are you crying? My other self.
Otogi looks a little alarmed at this. He pulls away slightly.
"He's still there?" he asks. Like everyone else, he is terrified of the Sennen Ring spirit. The only reason Kaiba doesn't care is that Kaiba hasn't really seen much of the fiend's sociopath behavior. I don't think he'd even talk to me if he did.
"My other self is always there," I tell him tragically. That spirit is the obvious plague of my mortal existence. I used to pretend he wasn't there, that my friends collapsing after Monster World rounds were just a bizarre coincidence. I had trouble explaining away the five points of the Sennen Ring in my chest. I think I just convince myself I leaned over it the wrong way and ouch, hurt myself. Not till Yuugi actually proved a seemingly temporary banishment got rid of the voice and impulses did I truly realize there was someone else inside me. And I had just thought I was going insane actually.
(You are insane.)
I cringe slightly at the voice and look down. Nothing else happens. Finally, after a long silence, Otogi clears his throat. I look up blankly.
"You like Kaiba or something, don't you?" he asks suddenly. I freeze. I don't think getting struck by lightening out of the blue could be that much more alarming than Otogi's question.
"Kinda." I blush, which says my 'kinda' is kinda a lie.
"How?" Otogi asks. "He's so strange. So distant and cold."
I shake my head at this. "No, he's not actually. You ought to see him with his little brother. There's a reason Mokuba loves him so much. Kaiba isn't some amoral freak, he just obsess over some things too much; thinks too much."
"He might not like you. What do you think of that?"
"That's his opinion and beyond my control," I answer calmly, resigned. I can't manipulate people to change their minds about anything, including myself. They think what they want and I can't do anything about it.
"So you don't care? If someone likes you or they don't it's their issue and you shouldn't bother? Do you like being alone or something?" he asks, trying to force me to seriously think for myself.
"No, I don't like being alone."
"Then why do you stay away from everyone else? Why do you lock yourself in your house for hours, writing letters to dead family members? Is there some kind of point?" Otogi struggles with my behaviour. He always has. A little of what he says surprises me.
"What letters?" I ask slowly, pretending I have no idea what he's talking about.
"The ones I saw in you apartment a while back. They were in your room."
"You're not allowed in my room, Otogi," I say, a slight edge of anger in my tone. Otogi is not allowed in my room. No one can enter my room; anyone can come to my apartment. They can go through anything they want, raid the fridge, mix ammonia and bleach in the bathroom, but they cannot, cannot ever, go into my bedroom.
"I was curious, you never let people in there. The door is always unlocked and sometimes opened so you can see inside, but we aren't allowed to enter. I had to go in," he confesses without any sort of true guilt for what he did. I watch him shocked. I can't believe he would do something like that to me.
"When?" I ask slowly, trying to remain calm.
"The first time you were watching Mokuba." He shrugs, like he does not think it matters.
"What did you do?" I ask without an emotion, just blank disbelief.
"Walked in. At first I didn't see why you wouldn't allow anyone in there, it was just a normal room. Okay, maybe it was the cleanest area in the house, granted, but that was it. There was nothing interesting till Yuugi suggested we look in your desk and under your bed."
"YUUGI!" I quietly scream in horror. "Oh god. You and Yuugi went through my personal belongings?"
"Yeah. We found the letters in a desk drawer. All of them were written to your mother or your sister or brother. Yuugi though it was weird that all your letters were so old unsent. There were also no addresses anywhere. We found some other letters from your dad, but that was it. Yuugi and I divided and conquered the majority of the letters we found."
"Yuugi…." I still squeak nervously. "You read most of them?"
Otogi just continues. "You sounded so happy in the letters to your sister, noting her birthday each year and different events each time they came up. It was the same with your mother, though it was all very formal and stuff. Those were the ones we skimmed. They were boring. The notes to your brother we read almost aloud they were so interesting. In those you complained a bit about how you were living. Those seemed very sad and personal, even to send to your family."
"Yeah," I mutter, my hands trembling slightly in my shock and frustration. Why did he and Yuugi do this? Why did Yuugi? I thought Yuugi would be the last person to go through my more personal things. I couldn't keep the letters in the living room. Apparently I can't keep them anywhere now. Nothing is safe.
"Yuugi did think it was weird that only your father wrote back till I remembered why. I showed Yuugi some things in the living room that mentioned your mother and sister were dead, that they had been dead for a long time. Then Yuugi found out you didn't have a brother and freaked." Otogi says it all a little too casually. He's not taking this seriously.
"Why did you go into my room?" I ask again, slowly.
"It was Yuugi's idea actually." (Yuugi's idea??) "He thought you were hiding something." (Well, of course.) "We were both really worried about you." (I would be too.)
"That's why he was in your apartment when you sent Kaiba up after him. He was probably going through the papers again, heard the limo pull up, and ran to the living room coming up with a story. Did you ask Kaiba what Yuugi was crying about? He did cry after he read one of the letters to your 'brother' when both of us where up there. It was about one of your friends who went to the hospital after Monster World. It was strange. You're the one problem Yuugi doesn't think he can solve. He's all about thes loving the problem snad winning the game. He feels very sorry for you," Otogi tells me. So that is why Yuugi was too preoccupied to bother with Kaiba? He's trying to solve me and he doesn't know how.
I'm really starting to hate this.
"I stopped writing letters," I defend myself cautiously. (A)
"So we saw. Or maybe your life has been so busy you don't have the time? Did you plan on writing again?" he asks me. I look at the ground nervously.
"Her birthday's in a few days," I mutter quietly.
"Who's?" Otogi asks.
"Sister," I reply quietly. Otogi nods at this.
"There's no point in writing, she'll never read it." He tries to persuade me my writing is pointless when I already know.
"I like to think she does," I mumble, offended.
"Because you're silly," he replies.
I don't even bother to glare at him. I just don't say anything; don't think anything.
"So how long do you plan on staying in the park?" he asks finally, leaning back and preparing for a long stay.
"I'm leaving now, if you don't mind," I tell him as I get up. He nods and leaps to his feet.
"Lets not go to your place; how about mine? It's far from Yuugi, Kaiba and the park. No horrible memories or anything," he offers happily. I shrug and he frowns.
"Come on. Yes? No? Otogi-kun-get-out-of-my-face-because-I-wouldn't-follow-you-if-hell-froze-over?" he happily mocks in his usually happy mode again. I sigh.
"Sure, whatever," I allow as he drags me to a taxi. I follow him in and listen as he brags about his game adjustments.
"Dulse is a common name for several edible red algae that grow on rocky marine coasts. It is used widely as a food or condiment. Purple seaweeds of the genus Porphyra, sometimes called laver, are the most widely used for this purpose. Porphyra laciniata is grown in large quantities in Japan." (B)
I stare at the television mutely as a program on sea plants is being shown. Otogi looks in at it randomly.
"How many algae farms are there? Like, five just outside Domino?"
I shrug at this and keep watching. I find I don't really care, but Otogi keeps making comments so I need to listen to understand them.
"Several red algae, of which nori is the best known, are an important component of the diet of various peoples, especially the Japanese."
"I…don't…eat…algae…." Otogi mutters. I can't help but smirk at his mock expression of surprise, awe, and contradiction. Swiftly he changes the station to a cooking show,
"Daikon is especially superb with cold Soba noodles and served with a little sake--" Otogi turns off the TV, bored.
"I prefer pizza over tofu, thank you very much. These shows make it sound like Japanese people live of algae, rice, and sushi. Who eats that stuff every single day?" he asks, laughing. "It's not bad, but variety is great."
"I know some people who do," I inform him, "And algae bad. I like it."
"That's because you actually have this little thing called a family history and family members who embrace it, Bakura," Otogi remarks smartly. "For all I know, you are part samurai or something. Your mother's side could have been from those shogun days and just sorta faded out. Maybe you're royalty. Are there any swords passing around in you family from generation to generation?"
"I'm not anything," I tell him. "My relatives are just obsessed with history and being Japanese."
"Well, I don't have any past obsessed relatives, so you're lucky." He sighs slightly, leaning back on his couch till he's watching me upside down from where I lean against the wall behind him. "I'm just a poor hopeless clown. I smile, but I'm crying inside. Feel free to sympathize, my funny little feminine friend!"
I shake my head at this. "Otogi, do you even realize the amount of your cash inflow or did you lose count at one and a half million American dollars in comparison to yen?"
"How did you kn--owe!" he exclaims, losing his balance and falling, head first, to the floor. I arch my brow, not that amused. Meanwhile, he bursts out laughing like this is the most hilarious thing in the world. I watch silently as he raises himself to his feet.
"All this food on TV has made me hungry, I'm going for the kitchen to see if we have any delicious algae. Feel free to go where ever, even my room." He smirks and jogs to the kitchen.
I walk around timidly opening doors. I find an empty bedroom and I sit down on a mattress, grabbing a nearby book. Slowly I flip through it. The words in romanji aren't confusing. I recognize some words from English before I realize it's French. Go figure. I just count all the 'e' shapes and can hear far away someone knocking on the door to the apartment. Otogi rushes to answer and I hear the hinges creak lightly, begging for oil.
"What do you want?" Otogi growls. I wonder who it is.
"Is Bakura here?" a familiar voice asks. I lose count at the words, distracted by the Kaiba's presence.
"What if he is?"
"I want to talk with Bakura, Ryuuji," he demands of my friend, as if demanding Otogi to do anything works. I start counting all the 's' figures on page sixty-seven, hoping Kaiba leaves or comes in, not stand cruelly where I can hear, but not see him and not know what will happen.
"Does Bakura want to talk to you?"
"Let me in and we'll find out," Kaiba snaps. I lose count of 's' and move on the 'y' instead.
"Okay, but only because you actually tried to find him," Otogi agrees, and lets the other in. I listen nervously as Kaiba walks through the doorway.
"Where is he?" the businessman asks and I can hear him turning around to see where I am.
"Somewhere, wasn't my turn to watch him," Otogi smirks and walks back to the kitchen. Kaiba sighs and makes his way down the hall, opening doors and looking inside. I hold my breath and keep counting, as he gets closer. My stomach does a terrible twist I find I don't like that much. After a mini eternity, he pushes open the door while I try to count letters.
"Bakura?" he asks, though I'm pretty sure by the white hair and pale complexion it's obvious. I look up nervously. I wonder if he is still angry and wants to finish his lecture to me. He can't be glad for that sudden exit yesterday.
"H—hello," I acknowledge slowly.
To my slight surprise, Kaiba stops to think before continuing.
"Are you okay?" he asks finally. I think he just did that to have something to say. Everyone asks that. Still, I'll answer anyway.
"Yes, fine now, thank you," I reply politely.
"I didn't know you read French," he nods at my book. I blush profusely and quickly explain away this misconception.
"I don't. I'm counting the letters," I say easily enough, looking down at the text. To read French, I'd have to be trilingual, when I still have trouble with bilingual. I wonder how many languages Kaiba speaks?
"Then you're not fine," he states. "Telling me what you think I want to hear won't help, Bakura. What's wrong?"
I watch him nervously and I can't help but see this giant thing that controls almost the entire country. Most people think of computer geniuses as nerds and losers. They think of big glasses, American Bill Gates and all those people in the Silicon Valley. They think of those large corporation owners all over the world that must tip the scales at 400 pounds. Kaiba is not like that. He appears more of an athlete with so dangerous a handsome face that not only symbolizes him as the leading Domino business CEO, but also an unproclaimed sex symbol for the generation that gives a damn.
This doesn't seem to stall his work. He doesn't even seem to care about the rest of the world and all those little worshipers; just focusing on his own tasks and mostly selfish goals, only looking angrily at the rest of humanity when Mokuba is suddenly not there. I wonder if I even existed to him before the thoughts of Yuugi Motou took over? Most likely I didn't, just an idea of my other self framed my face for Kaiba as he observed the Spirit's dueling prowess, not really knowing it wasn't me till later. Yuugi-tachi is a lot more important than I am in everything, so I follow them. I'm usually no more important than the trees and birds in the background. When I am noticed, I'm not equal to anything but a book on classifying dueler's cards when Yuugi isn't present and the card's owner doesn't give viewers a synopsis.
Will I go back to not existing after Kaiba gets over Yuugi? Will I return to nothing but the voice of confusing words that makes Jounouchi look at me funny due to his awesomely small vocabulary? Will I be avoided and over looked, not bothered with because, after Yuugi tells everyone about my insane letters, they won't know what to say to me? I could just move away again, start over in an even bigger city where I will not be noticed.
That would be a bit more difficult now though. I like Kaiba more while he's just starting to notice me less. His face is everywhere and I can't really run from it. I'll probably grow to some rambling old man telling younger people how I once babysat Mokuba Kaiba, the Mokuba Kaiba, brother of Seto Kaiba. They'll laugh at me and whisper to each other I'm just that man who went insane a while back, don't listen to him.
"Bakura, I'm waiting for you to say something. Say anything, just speak," Kaiba sighs commands, as I've been silent for what must have been a long time. I'm startled into reality rudely. Kaiba is always commanding things from people with a voice that wakes them up and makes them listen.
What do I say? I can say anything I want to, can't I? What do you tell when you have so much you want to make known? What do you do to work up to the topics you want to discuss, without being so obvious that you end up being laughed at? Do I even want to talk to Kaiba? He's egotistical and conceited. I'd have to be careful not to get him angry about whatever I finally say.
"Sorry," I mutter. It seems me being quiet upset Kaiba. It's only natural I should say I'm sorry for this.
"What did I tell you about over-apologizing, Bakura? It makes you look weak," Kaiba informs me. I feel very stupid now. Silence frustrated him and now, my one word speech did likewise.
"What should I say?" I finally ask. "What do you want me to tell you?"
Kaiba stops to think before suggesting anything. I suppose he's realizing he could ask me anything and I'd most likely answer with the truth. I must seem so strange to him. I don't lie often, but I don't trust anyone. It was made obvious the night I was fired, when he wanted to know what I knew about Yuugi, that I would have snapped and told him everything had he kept pressuring me. I'm not very good with secrets. Worst off, I'm drawn to Kaiba and will most likely tell him everything I know.
The only way I can keep anything private told to me is that I repress and forget it. I was better at hiding physical objects no one should see, till Yuugi and Otogi raided my room. I hate confrontation and to end it, I just answer all the questions I can so everyone will leave me alone. Only if something is really important and dangerously personal will I hold it in and not let anyone know not Kaiba, Yuugi or Otogi. Fortunately, I don't know that many personal things about other people for them to be in this category. But there are obviously some things about myself I keep well under the rug always. These things have a habit of sticking their heads out, though.
"Tell me about why you think," Kaiba pauses slightly and I think he just changed his question. "Why you think Yuugi and me didn't have much of a relationship."
I blink at him. If he changed his words mid-question, then that was a lame comeback. But of course, that doesn't make it any easier to answer.
"You two don't fit right," I answer obediently.
"Yes, I know, you already said that. Why?" he asks, causing me to extend my answer. I don't even think he wants me to answer him, he's just asking for no reason. He wasn't to punish me, and this question punishes me.
"Well," I stop to think my answer out slowly, "you, you don't need that kind of person. Yuugi is all about smiles and affection and helping everybody fix themselves. You're not and you don't like help. He does something you naturally don't like."
I stay silent and wait for Kaiba to contradict this. He does nothing and really doesn't seem to care. He's leaning against the wall nodding like what has taken me forever to come up with is something he is already aware of; something he has been aware of for far longer than I have.
"And?" he asks, telling me to go on. I look at him confused.
"Yuugi doesn't think you open up enough to give him comfort. He can't trust you. You probably consider him too open and naïve, now that you see how his usual behaviour goes. You're protective and Yuugi doesn't need it, no matter how well intentioned you are." I answer like I'm taking some test. I don't even know what I just said. I'm just running my mouth and praying it makes enough sense for Kaiba to change the subject.
"So you're saying the person I need has to be agreeable, slightly closed, and not crazy for affection but crazy enough about me to accept my behaviour? Sounds like you're saying my wonder date is a computer robot," Kaiba smirks slightly. Oh look, I'm being laughed at now. This is just so much better.
"It might be, but any fan girl will take you in a heart beat if you agreed to being glomped all day long," I mock mildly.
"I'd rather have a computer," he replies seriously. I'm slightly surprised. Girls must bother him a bit then. I guess the idea of any relationship bothers him, except Mokuba, whom he feels entitled to.
"Is that why yours keeps hitting on you?" I mock again. I've heard his computer. It sounds like such a flirty little personality. I thought it was funny. Mokuba let me talk to it. I don't think it really liked me. (C)
"What?" he asks, now the one surprised. He calms down quickly and smirks again smugly. "Did you think there was any other reason?"
"You've been with those machines too long, Kaiba," I sigh as he grins, superior against the wall.
"So? You spend too much time by yourself," he retaliates.
I scowl slightly at this. What does he know about my loneness and the reason I accept it? And computers aren't that much any better. They can have all the world of personality, but they aren't alive.
"Not like I can help that, though," I snap slightly.
"Maybe you should just do more?" Kaiba suggests, clueless as to why I stay away from most people when he doesn't mingle too much either.
"I do enough," I sigh. I remember all the friends I used to have and how my other self ruined everything. How my father ruined everything with constant moving and transferring me from school to school, giving my alter ego more victims. How my family ruined everything trying hard to mess my life up. How my letters ruined everything by not being burned. How I ruined everything by not just jumping off a skyscraper when everything started downhill instead of going into sever denial and thus causing even more pain.
"I do enough to let others do what they want," I finish. Kaiba looks at me and I swear his face epitomizes boredom. I'm turning a bit melodramatic now and he thinks it's dull.
"Or what they think they want," Kaiba adds. I look down guiltily and nod. "What about those who know what they need?" he asks. I'm not impressed. Maybe it's a deep question and very difficult to answer. I have to think a bit before I can say anything back.
"They're lucky," I finally shrug. "That means they have goals. I really don't, actually."
"Then you don't have a future," Kaiba says, criticizing my words.
"I don't care." I shrug again. "I don't have lots of things."
"Then you are pathetic," he growls. I feel very low now. Yes, tell me something I don't know, Kaiba. I'll most likely leave college only years later when I can't afford any more classes and die because I won't know what to do with myself. Thank you Kaiba, I needed that ego booster. No future sounds just about right.
"Maybe those insults are the reason Yuugi left you," I snap at him as he is making such predictions about me.
"What? Repeat that," he commands slowly. I bit my lip and hope I won't die now.
"I said your cruel words at the wrong time may not make Yuugi feel comfortable," I mutter.
"No," he corrects. "The part about Yuugi breaking up with me."
"It's probably a reason he did that." I tell him again slowly. To my alarm, Kaiba grins at me. He looks very amused and I wonder if that's the expression he always wears before killing someone?
"Bakura, Yuugi didn't break up with me." And he laughs, almost. "I broke up with Yuugi."
I blink slowly at him. What is so funny about this? He has come very close to smiling.
"But you were so devastated yesterday," I say as the Kaiba's face drops slightly.
"I was confused a bit by the reason why I wanted to leave him, I wasn't thinking straight," he nods seriously again.
"Why did you leave Yuugi?" I ask in shock. I can't believe it. This means Kaiba can't be that mad at me. Or, it just proves his gross intelligence.
"Yuugi and I thought we didn't get along. I liked him when I couldn't get to him. Yuugi was just open and boring. In a day I have so much information on him that I could have written his entire life's story."
I nod at this. Well, I was right about how they would get along! Congratulations. Yeah, I'm really proud….
"BAKURA!" I hear Otogi yell. He is suddenly in the room.
"You two still talking?" he asks with a smirk. I frown at him. Kaiba looks at him curiously.
"I guess Kaiba's doing all the talking, right? I know how he feels, it's like talking to a wall," Otogi jokes.
"Otogi," I mutter in annoyance. He twirls his hair a few seconds in blessed silence before his next attack. This time it was an actual 'attack' on me, like always.
"OTOGI!" I shriek as he jumps behind me and grabs my head, ruffling my hair.
"Stop it," I groan as my hair is perfectly ruined. Kaiba clears his throat loudly. Otogi finally stops and lets go of me, smirking like mad. He stands on the side of me away from Kaiba. I turn back the businessman flustered.
"Sorry," I apologized for Otogi's rabid behavior.
"It's not your fault," Kaiba corrects me.
"Yes it is, look how cute he is!" Otogi mocks, choking on his laughter. "With his face, Ryou's just begging for that."
I blush again. Why did he call me Ryou? Kaiba raises and eyebrow at this and I become fascinated with the wall since I am not permitted to apologize anymore. The wall has interesting designs on it. It's…well…it's just white….
Let's look away from the wall before it breaks into colour for no reason other than I'm crazy."
"I didn't mean that," Otogi sighs at the dumbfounded Kaiba and me. "It was joke, okay? Get it? This is what I do, I joke with you people. See? I was supposed to be funny."
"Ha. Ha. Ha." Kaiba growls at this.
"Oh, okay," I finally answer as Kaiba stops looking so tense.
"So did you tell him yet, Kaiba?" Otogi asks the other casually. I wonder what he's talking about. To my surprise, Kaiba answers, as the question was addressed to him. I've never seen him really talk with Ryuuji before.
"I was going to till you so rudely interrupted," Kaiba snaps.
"Oh, well then I'll leave you now. I'll just pretend I don't want to see you crash and burn as I make a sandwich in the kitchen. You will. I just came in to tell you to hurry up. Don't you have a company to run?" he says with several sarcastic winks like it's some secret sign I never got, like there is a conspiracy going on here.
"Don't you?" Kaiba snarls.
"Just hurry up. I don't like you in my apartment," Otogi says, this time managing to sound genuinely displeased. He makes a contradictory smile, however, and leaves.
"Thank god that's over with," Kaiba grumbles at the door as Otogi disappears.
I nod at this quietly. So what is the point of Kaiba's visit today?
"Bakura, I'm sort of sorry about all this," Kaiba apologizes halfway. I don't get it. And how can you be 'sort of' sorry anyway?
"What did you do?" I ask. I can picture him saying, 'Oh, well I hired a killer to come after you because I was angry. You'll be dead by tomorrow. I'm okay with you now, so I just thought you'd want to know. Sorry!'
"I started all of this mess with Yuugi, I pulled you into it. I'm not very proud of how I snapped at you for my little mistakes, and I don't want you taking this and throwing it completely out of proportion."
What? I never throw things out of proportion.
I'm obvious kidding.
"Oh," I mutter at Kaiba's words. I always have the most creative replies. I make a point to.
"So I was wondering if somehow I could maybe make up for it," Kaiba informs me confidently.
"How?" I ask, interested.
"How about I buy you dinner sometime?" he suggests. I can't believe how bored he sounds with this suggestion.
I don't care how completely uninterested in his offer Kaiba is, I'm all for it. The prospect of going somewhere with the Kaiba is something my mind only considers a fantasy. I think many people are of the same opinion when it comes to crushing over Seto Kaiba.
"Of course, Kaiba," I agree to the offer. I wouldn't really care if he just dragged me to some fast food restaurant, ordered a few burgers and announced, 'ta da! I bought dinner'.
Ouch, how can I think of such a thing? Do I always attack myself so viciously? Actually, Kaiba is too well known to just buy a meal at a commercial food chain where it costs so little.
"Okay. Tomorrow's Saturday, so you can come over to my office at one. I'll take you somewhere from there. Can you make it?" he asks. I'm surprised for a few seconds. Where will he take me?
I think over my plans for tomorrow. I'm not doing anything. My entire day is free. Just like all my others.
"Yeah," I reply, a little quiet. I wonder if he's bringing Mokuba?
"Then you better be there," Kaiba warns. I nod quickly.
Watch out, I'm annoyed! That means nothing's going to happen. I'm just going to complain about it obnoxiously.
Ehem.
We are all ignorant little fools, the center of our own universes. Some people are more open to their self-importance, making them not only confident, but terrible snobs as well.
This is my current philosophy.
Really, visiting Kaiba Corp headquarters is frustrating. You're pushed aside as hotheads and giant egos roar past you with the dominance of grown bull elephants. I'm generally a quiet, soft-spoken person who has actually gone so low as to acquire this ominous hassle called manners. None of those humongous ideals of themselves notice this and just brush past like I'm some ornament on their greatest enemy's wall. This means it doesn't matter if I fall and break. In fact, they'd be thrilled to see their accomplishment.
I think all of them are taking bets in their petty offices below Kaiba's on how long till me, the newcomer, trips and makes a fool of myself. The office pool revolves around a white haired freak trying to reach the lift.
I find myself dodging an entire crowd and falling into the coffee stand. This wins me many glares and some rude, unsophisticated gestures. That's when I see the stand is falling to the mail cart.
"Bakura, be careful!"
Kaiba, who steadies the drinks and rescues the letters from their soon-to-be fate as pulpy masses, saves me. I blush and am slightly amazed at how the intense traffic has nearly stopped with the his presence. Apparently mail doesn't mean that much to these people.
"I'm sorry," I apologize as I watch the man who shoved me scurrying away through a hall door.
Kaiba starts walking away. I follow, still shocked at how few people there are suddenly. We reach the up elevator to his office in seconds, not minutes. As the doors slide closed I can hear a rumble as people start pushing and swearing at each other again. Before all sound is cut off, I hear the unmistakable sound of the coffee stand experiencing Newton's laws of physics as it encounters the gravitational pull to the Earth's center. I wince at this, but Kaiba is seemingly oblivious to the crashes.
The elevator is soon on the top floor, the area of the top Kaiba Corp official's offices. I follow the billionaire, trying to be quiet since this level is very still and silent. The only sounds are computer keyboards being typed, papers ruffling, and some low conversation into a phone I cannot understand. I try to step lightly and not be loud, yet still keep up with Kaiba. Suddenly, though, everything I do is a big dramatic sound that seems to echo off the walls. I know someone's going to come out and tell me to stop it. I feel incredibly clumsy and stupid, like those are the only to words that have ever described me. Why aren't we in the office room yet? I want to be there and out of the hall.
Finally, Kaiba takes out his keys and unlocks a tall set of double doors. Inside is a large room with a giant floor to ceiling pane of glass. I gap at it in awe.
The view of Domino City is giant, framed picture. Everything is so much bigger and better for Seto Kaiba, even the window views. It's almost like there is nothing there, just an opening to what must be the heavens. The sun is shining and fading in one corner as the evening approaches. I'm almost terrified to go near the glass as I enter the room behind Kaiba. I wonder how thick it is, while the Kaiba walks up to the window casually and pulls a tan blind over the corner where the sun enters. There are several plane down the length of the pane to cover up the entire view.
I walk up to the glass to look at the city while Kaiba starts the computer at his desk. The view is now all I can see. I'm close enough to touch the pane and I do, lightly with the back of my hand, making sure it's there. I suddenly realize just how tall this building is and why people go after penthouse apartments so eagerly. I can see almost the entire city, even the school a few blocks away from here. The apartment complex I live at is visible as well since it is in walking distance of Domino High. In fact, I can see my now opened apartment windows where someone is moving around.
I lean forward and squint at the figure. I lean against the glass and try to see who is in my living room. Everyone is invited to my apartment whenever they want, but I'm just curious. Judging by the hair it's either Otogi or Yuugi.
Or maybe it's both? There are two people in there now and it looks like Yuugi and Otogi. What are they doing? I thought they'd already read everything in the place by now. What else could they want?
I look down for no reason after this discovery. This is a bad move since I'm terrified of heights.
The drop is so, so very long. You may even plummet for minutes before you hit the ground. I can't make myself look away from the little figures strolling about below. I'm terrified to move. Somehow I am convinced that the pane might slip or shatter if I apply any more weight to it. I'm not of the opinion glass can be strong.
"Bakura?" Kaiba asks, looking through one of his metal briefcases. "Are you okay?"
I can't answer. I'm terrified somehow the window will disappear and I will fall to my death. Nausea is trying to grip my stomach. I try to say something, but I just make some sound related to the most hilarious whimper muttered. Kaiba sighs in amusement at my stupidity and is soon pulling me away from the window.
"Bakura, don't stand there if you're scared of heights," he admonishes softly while I just end up facing him, burying my face into his shoulder and holding his arm. My heart is trying to slow to a normal speed as it just came very close to exploding.
"I thought the window would disappear and I'd fall through," I tell him quietly. Kaiba freezes slightly for a few seconds at the comment of falling out the window to certain death outside. I wonder vaguely what's wrong and how I can know the he paused.
"I'd prefer you stand away from the glass, Bakura," he orders with terrifyingly true concern. "It's not very safe."
I nod all too willing to comply before I realize what I'm doing, where I'm standing.
"Sorry!" I apologize, leaping off of Kaiba's arm and straightening up. "I didn't mean to do that."
"Don't worry about it," Kaiba remarks, briskly turning around and going back to his computer. He looks ready to add something, but just sits down and begins typing energetically. He's just locked me out. I stare at him for a few seconds. I can't believe I made such a fool of myself. I glare angrily at the window that did this to me. I must look like the perfect little idiotic baby now. I can't believe Kaiba let me just hold on like that! I guess he was too grossly shocked to do anything about it but stare and warn me not to go by the glass. That's probably what made him tense. He was wondering just what the crazy Bakura thought he was doing now.
I watch Kaiba typing a bit longer. There's nothing I can do to annul the after affects of my stupidity. I can only sit and wait till Kaiba gets off work early today at two. Then we can go, eat and eventually get this mess over with. Kaiba offering civility in the prospect I may not try to get him back for not apologizing is a strange view. I sort of consider it like him, to be so careful. I guess when you're rich and powerful you learn to tie knots swiftly before you get caught in them.
That's great. I see I have nothing to do now till we have to leave. We're supposed to just eat and wait for each other to finish their meal. This will somehow amend everything that's happened. After a few courses the both of us can just forget, ending whatever recognition I've earned from Kaiba and any social ties period. Everything will fall back smoothly to Yuugi and Kaiba on a dueling friendship/rivalry and me the great card reference.
Yeah, Yuugi only thinks I'm insane now. I probably am, too. I'm going to fall back to a group of friends full of condolences and little ideas to help me and improve my nerves.
Can't say I look forward to it.
Seeing as I'm about to drown in self-pity, I'm deciding to explore the rest of this office. I can't think about the future. I don't have one according to Kaiba. Thinking about it only wastes my time.
There isn't much in here, save a small conference table by the other corner of the window and two nice looking leather seats by a coffee table in front of Kaiba's desk. There are too many surfaces, two tables and a desk. The place is boring and oversized. All walls are painted quietly in whitish blues and navy carpeting covers the floor. There are no pictures anywhere. I see a darker spot where one must have hung before. I want to ask what used to be up there, but I hold it back. Kaiba must have taken down and it probably had some personal background that didn't concern me.
I soon find myself reclining on a short couch. It is a wonderful piece of furniture, black leather and well-cushioned. My form doesn't exactly fit across it lengthwise, as my feet are dangling over the edge, but I'm okay with it. I pull a smooth rock out of my pocket and start rotating it on the coffee table. I'm not facing the window now, I don't like it; I'm just watching the rock twirl about like a top. Kaiba pauses in his work for a few seconds and watches as well while I twist it once more to keep the spin motion continued. He starts typing again and I just keep watching as the rock finally slows and stops completely. I pick it up and start to toss it.
I see in the corner of my eye my shadow throwing the rock up into the air and catching it over and over. I'm well aware this could keep me occupied for hours.
I'm easily amused. This must be great for Kaiba since he doesn't need to keep me entertained. I'll find anything interesting. Kaiba wants people to wait for him to find time and I can do this easily. I admit; I like it more when he's actually acknowledging my presence, but I know better than to think he will not notice me walk out. Therefore, I now play with this little rock, tossing it from hand to hand and sending it up into the air.
I throw the rock up again and to my surprise, it doesn't come back. I look up to see a face above me, a claw-like hand clasped around my toy.
"Ehem?" a voice asks, the face raising its eyebrows at me lying across the entire length of the couch.
"I'm very sorry. Excuse me," I apologize quickly and sit up. I study the intruder through side-glances, trying not to be rude. It is a cruel looking old man I do not know who has taken my rock.
"Kaiba-sama," he nods to my escort, placing my rock on the table. The clink, the motion of his hand, all warn me not to pick it up again. Kaiba looks up at the man and sighs, making no secret of his displeasure that he's here.
"Yes?"
"Can you tell me what this is?" the man asks, pointing sternly at me. I sit up straighter as it seems I'm not going to be invisible.
"Ryou Bakura," Kaiba answers coldly, his perfect poker face having been established.
"Why is he here? I don't recognize his name. A small child who plays with gravel and reclines on couches? You let your friends into the office?" the old man accuses. I blush shamefully and watch the ground.
"Yes, I did and I assure you, there is nothing wrong with Bakura," Kaiba defends me.
"Bakura? Isn't Ryou, or are you two in some spite? But then, why would he be here?" Clearly the old man objects to my stay. I can't say why.
"He prefers Bakura, Gei," Kaiba says, civily by evilly. If I were Gei-sama now, I'd run fast and far away. Kaiba is nowhere near happy.
"Oh, and?" the man asks and gives me an inappreciative glance. "When Gozabaru Kaiba ran this place, no such things as these "Bakura's" slacked on couches and did nothing. This demonstrates poor judgment and immaturity."
Kaiba begins to silently, almost invisibly, fume at this insult to him. He looks ready to start something ugly with a few cold words. I feel like I really shouldn't be here now.
Before Kaiba can attack, the door opens. The click it makes is like the Golden Gates of Heaven, I'm sure. I expect to hear angels.
In walks a woman, tall and strict like everything else here. I wonder dimly in the back of my mind if she happens to be a robot. She walks like one, all stiff and straight. No human is like that.
"Kaiba-sama," she pipes mechanically. Was that a hinge squeak I just heard?
"Yes?" he asks in slight frustration, bestowed so profusely by Gei.
"Your appointment with Gei Saoki-sama has been moved. You have a meeting in thirty minutes," she informs. Suddenly the Heavenly nature of the door opening dissipates into fire and little glimpses of pitchforks. This robot woman's words cut right into Kaiba's and my plans.
Speaking of which, Kaiba turns to me with a look, which translates as uninterested.
"You'll have to leave, Bakura," he informs me bluntly. I nod back with equal enthusiasm. A statuette from the days of prehistory holds more expression in its feature. Kaiba can really set a mask when he has to. I can't see what he's thinking at all. All I know now is I have to leave. I forget whether I gestured in agreement. I nod once more as I remember I already have. My unfaithful face turns red as I stand up and make to go as soon as possible.
"Escort him, Tusaki," the statue that almost resembles Kaiba orders. The robot bows slightly in agreement and I follow it out to the lift.
Before I realize where I am and how I got there, I'm getting out of Kaiba's car in front of my apartment.
"Thank you," I say to the man driving. He looks at me in slight confusion.
"What?" he asks.
"Thanks for driving, I appreciate it," I elaborate. He shakes his head at this.
"Whatever," he says. I feel like scowling at this rude behavior, but I know he'll just break out into laughter. I just step away into the curb silently and watch him drive away.
Well, I was only being polite. It won't kill a person to say 'your welcome' once in a while.
(Those are lynching words, yadonushi. They are also only in few vocabularies.)
Why is everything so rude to me? Am I wearing Essence of Loser as a perfume? If so, I must smell something dreadfully pathetic.
(Loser-sama, yadonushi.)
I scowl slightly at the wall as I climb the stairs to my apartment. Nothing is going the right way. Does this cancellation just end any prospect of a last meal between me and Kaiba before we divide, go our separate ways?
Knowing Seto and myself, this may just happen. He will not want to bother and I will not confront him over the petty matter. From experience, know I'm easily forgotten.
Maybe it's better to die alone?
(You are too morbid now.)
I can't sleep now that I'm in bed. I've been wondering what I could have done if Kaiba's arrangement hadn't been canceled. I actually toy with the notion I could make him fall in love with me. That wouldn't be too bad. I'd be happy with that kind of circumstance. I can draw out little futures and how I could get his attention. I can picture myself doing amazing, impossible things and earning his affection.
Of course, this is all my imagination. It would never happen in reality in a thousand years, but it's fun to think of maybe. I highly doubt I could hold a civilized conversation with Kaiba like I envision, attracting him with intelligence. I'm not that smart.
I don't think Kaiba could be as impressed with the indigenous plant life of Costa Rica as I could imagine him becoming.
Still, I can hear wordless conversations in my mind about computers and money, which I actually know very little about. I couldn't possibly become an all-knowing technology wiz in five minutes, but I like to imaging I am while we eat in one of the many skits my mind keeps playing.
I know I'm pathetic, stop rolling your eyes at me.
I said stop.
Please?
(The phone rings and once again you fail to notice it, yadonushi)
I listen to the ring and just lay in bed, not moving. After five rings the answering machine will get it. I look to the phone on my nightstand. I can wait.
Or I can't.
Before I aware of what I'm doing, my hand reaches out. I'm hopping it will just knock the phone off the bedside table and into the wall, but it doesn't. My wicked fingers wrap firmly around the receiver and pick it up before the fifth ring ends.
My traitorous mouth answers.
"He--" I rejoice for five seconds as I yawn away the last syllable. Maybe the other side will realize how late it is? "Lo?"
"Bakura?"
Through an impressive display of self-control I mange to hold back the urge trying to make me throw the phone and scream.
"Yeah, Kaiba?"
I'm relieved at how normal my tone is at this inquiry.
"If you're sleeping, I could hang up. I just want to apologize."
I just barely hold back the desire to scream and slam the receiver into my forehead. Not only would this break the phone, it may even knock me out.
"At one in the morning? Did you really think I'd be awake?"
"I forgot."
What, that humans need to sleep? I glare slightly at the wall. How late does Seto stay up every night?
"Okay, you're lucky, I'm awake. Annul your grievous debt."
Kaiba is silent for a few seconds as I realize my phrasing. What a great time to start sounding poetic! Well, at least I'm talking to a genius. Jounouchi would gape at the receiver for an hour.
"I'm listening. Talk." I order. Kaiba pauses and clears his throat before continuing his apology.
"I'm sorry, Bakura. I didn't think Gei would change my schedule like that today…"
Kaiba is apologizing for something that was not his fault? I have a strange feeling I'm still asleep.
"I mean, yesterday, since it's one in the morning."
"It wasn't your fault." I console.
"It was still rude."
I had no idea Kaiba even had a definition for 'rude'.
"Maybe we could arrange everything another time?" he asks.
Okay, I'm surprised the phone isn't lying useless and broken on the bedroom floor. I feel like I should snap it before I wake up because I'm obviously still dreaming.
"Sure," I can only mutter, still in shock.
"Good, Bakura."
"Yeah," I answer, finding that thinking has become a very strenuous activity.
"Don't worry about meeting me, I'll get a driver to pick you up."
I nod at this, only half aware he cannot see my reaction.
"You seem tired. I'll let you go. I just think we should get all this over with soon, understand?"
Suddenly I realize this is not a dream. Get all this over with? Yeah, I understand. I can return to nothing and he can treat me like everyone else. Kaiba does get over things fast. I mean, how concerned is he over Yuugi now? This is all just a big vacation for him. He could care less how I'm affected.
"Yeah, bye," I bail rapidly, hanging up the phone before Kaiba can say anything else to further kill my mood.
Sleep? What did that ever mean? I don't think I can close my eyes again. My dreams will never come true and I'll just watch my subconscious mind be proved wrong over and over. I should really stop thinking about Kaiba and all of what will never happen. I might live longer.
Since when did I want to live longer?
(Will you stop that already?)
Notes and Stuff:
I'm not going to tell you why I didn't update last week. You really don't want to know all that.