A/N: Thank you for the wonderful reviews! I really appreciate them and I
know this chapter is shorter than my normal but I like it all the same.
Please note that this is written in the future.the closet reference episode
would be Double Agent.
"Do you want to tell him or shall I?" She started to grow impatient and by the looks of it, a migraine started to grow in her skull.
Weiss grew silent again and motioned for her to tell Vaughn the news-
"Will the two of you stop talking like I'm not in the room?" choked Vaughn rather loudly in his raspy voice.
Sydney looked down at him and shook her head before sitting down, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this Vaughn, but we're going on a mission. We leave in a few hours." She caressed his cheek softly with the palm of her hand. She smiled sadly and gazed into his beautiful colored eyes rather adoringly.
He was so confused by this, "Why are you sorry about that?" He struggled to sit up but Sydney forced him back down as she settled back down onto her chair. She left her hand on his shoulder and pressed him there for a moment. "Wait before you answer that; what's going on in Fleury? Who's dead? Whose body do I have to ID?"
Sydney sighed deeply and retracted her hands. She clasped them tightly in her lap and starred at them intently, "I can't tell you that right now. We have to go in for a formal briefing."
"A briefing? Why?"
"Because you've had time off, you have to go through formal procedures." She said with a matter-of-fact tone.
"No, why I am going in for a briefing?" Vaughn quickly replied, feeling suddenly nervous.
She wanted dodge his question but knew she couldn't, "They want you in."
"N-n-n-n-n-no. I'm staying put. I had chemo on Friday and I stay in bed until Sunday night and go back to work on Monday. Today's on Saturday. I still have at least twenty-four hours to puke my guts out!" He protested like a teenager. His eyes were wide with fear and he was officially panicking.
Sydney sat down and caressed his face softly with the palm of her hand, "We have to bring you in." She cooed softly.
"Like hell you do!" He screamed and seemed close to tears. He was a mess, both physically and emotionally. "Please Sydney. I can't. I just wanted to see you. I didn't want them to know I'm back. Please, baby." He dropped his voice and started to beg. "What's so important that I have to go? Please, just tell me."
She hated hearing him like that, "You're going to have to trust me." She rested her hand on his cheek and gazed into his eyes lovingly. "Please, honey."
Weiss felt completely out of place and like a third wheel. He turned his back to them and tried to breath normally, without sighing. He couldn't crack a joke or say anything. He studied his feet for a moment and placed his cell phone back into his pocket and rested both of his hands there.
"How did they find me? I'm suppose to be in New York!"
Sydney wet her lips and looked at Weiss desperately. She refused to answer but in part, she didn't really know. Weiss looked at her with equally unreadable eyes.
He reached up and ran his hand through her hair and down her face. "Angelot," little angel, "why can't you tell me? C'mon it's-it's us."
She snapped her neck around towards Vaughn as he spoke and tried to answer him the best she could, "Please sweetie, please try to understand.." She pleaded and fought both her instincts and Vaughn to get to her feet. He grabbed tightly onto her arm. Fighting her instincts, she found his clothes and stood at the foot of his bed, "Take your choice. Get dressed yourself, have me dress you, or we call a team in to get you." There was obvious pain etching through her voice. She put the typical Bristow façade over any emotion she may have been feeling. This wasn't time for love or lust. This was a time for business.
He took a moment to contemplate this over as he sat up, feeling the rush of nausea sweep through his body more than ever, "The bottle over on the nightstand.there's one for anti-nausea. Get it for me?"
Sydney obeyed silently and the third bottle she picked was the right medication. "Water?" She opened the bottle and revealed a tiny white pill. It was amazing that something that tiny could bring such relief. She found her spot on the bed, the clothes thrown over her arm, and the pill in her extended hand.
"Don't need it." He reached for the pill, set it in his mouth and swallowed down-hard. He ran his tongue around in his relatively dry mouth. He heated these side-effects with such a passion and right now, he just wanted stay in bed and not move for a very long time.
She looked at him for a long moment. Her honey brown eyes met his crystal green ones. There was so much pain being communicated back and forth without words. She felt bile burn down her throat and sympathy pains carved themselves in the greatest intensity yet in her chest. She moved her hands to cover the painful spot with the palm of her hand. The coolness of it started to soothe it away, "What have you decided?"
Vaughn looked down, the worry lines apparent on his forehead. He studied the folds of the blanket intensely and followed one of the creases with his fingertips. The silence was deafening. The three inhabitants all seemed to be holding their breath. But Vaughn refused to answer. He felt a knot well in his throat and he didn't have the strength to go on.
Weiss finally spoke up, "Mike."
"I can't go, Weiss. I'm sick. I am sick." Vaughn spat. He looked to his friend, desperate for support.
"You've come all this way- gone through all of this and now you say that you're sick? You were the one that kept saying that you were gonna beat this and come back. You were the one that kept saying that you missed it so much - that you let your own father down that you took time off!" Weiss lost his temper and started to yell, "Now! Get your ass out of that bed. Suck it up. I know you're a hell of a lot stronger that what the hell you're doing now." He paused for a moment and walked towards the door. "Sydney, I'll meet you outside." He stormed out of the tiny hotel room angrily. The door slammed loudly.
Sydney arched her eyebrows, "Well." She was impressed by Weiss's tactics. She had never seen him so serious, let alone stand up to his best friend. "What's your decision?" Her eyes were locked on the door and she had to fight the little smile playing on her lips. Weiss did have (pardon this expression) balls. She looked at Vaughn again, who was now standing.
"I can get dressed myself. I'm sick. I'm not an invalid." Angrily, he managed to throw the meager looking blanket off of his legs. With much effort, he fought to his feet and felt the jell-o feeling rush through his legs.
"I never said you were." Sydney snapped back, "Do you want me to get you clothes?"
"I am more than capable to do this for myself." He fought further to get to his suitcase, shaking off the help of Sydney. She gave into the shadows and found solace on the bed, watching Vaughn struggle with himself. She knew that she couldn't help him. If she did, he would never heal over. She watched his chest heave with heavy breaths that came uneasily through his mouth. It pained her to see him that way
She looked away from him and concentrated on a little knick in the wall. "I know that now."
He craned his neck around to look at her, "What's that suppose to mean?"
She raised his chin slightly, "Those messages you left for me. You sounded like you were dying."
Vaughn's eyes burned like flames. There was obvious anger lying there. "You stopped returning my calls." His tone was harsh. He groaned slightly as he grabbed a pair of jeans and a gray polo shirt.
"You left me." She said equally as harsh. "What was I suppose to think? I thought you had gone back to Alice."
"I thought you knew me better than that!"
"Then why the hell did you keep something like from me? Why did you think that I wouldn't be able to deal with this?" She sat down on the bed and watched him impatiently. She crossed her legs and felt the love that she felt for him drain like the color from her face. "I don't think you realized how much you hurt me when you left. For all I knew, you had gone back to Alice?"
"You thought I went back to Alice?" He started to curse underneath his breath as he fought with the yards of fabric.
"What else was I suppose to think? One day you were here and the next day, gone." She scoffed ruefully for a moment as she reflect, "Dr. Barnett will be happy that you're back. Apparently, I got aggressive when you left."
Vaughn smiled sadly, "Aggressive? That's my girl."
"Yeah.well.your leaving had an effect on me."
Vaughn struggled to get dressed, feeling the fabric stick to his sweaty body. "It hurt me so much to leave you." He pulled his pants on, resting on the dresser top for support. He finally turned around to face her and simply glared at her for a moment.
"I still don't understand why you couldn't let me help you." Sydney retorted, using a similar hurt expression. She crossed her arms over she chest and her legs over each other. She was officially was defensive. She watched him struggle with himself and groan slightly with each movement.
His eyes flashed with anger, "Stop it, Sydney!" He manage to belt. His raspy voice echoed throughout the space, almost knocking him over. He was still so weak. "There are just some things I have to do on my own. You're going to have to understand that."
"I'm sorry but I don't understand. If you loved me-"
He moved to get his shirt and hastily put it on, talking through the fabric. "Don't play the love me card, Syd." His voice started to nearly yelling.
And there went her temper. "Why not? I loved you and you just walked out on me because you had to 'do some things on your own?' I'm sorry but I can't accept that! You've helped me in the worst situations and when you're in trouble, why won't you let me do the same?"
"Because all those times were different!"
"Why?"
"Because!"
"I'm sorry, Vaughn, but that's not a good enough answer! I want to help you but I can't if you won't let me help!"
"No one can help me!" His body finally wracked with a cough which eventually led to dry heaves that shook his chest. The demise of him standing soon followed and he was sent crashing to his knees. The coughing continued for a moment and he gripped his clothing clad chest. "No one can help me."
Hesitantly, she walked towards him and crouched down beside him, "Let me help you then." She moved to comfort him but he sunk further down onto his knees. Finally, she won the battle and wrapped her arms around him. She felt his hacking cough turn into a dry sob. She kissed his forehead and cradled him tightly in her arms. She felt dry tears kiss her knees as he curled closer to her body. "Let me help. Please, sweetie, let me help." His body felt so warm against hers and all she could do was wish she could make the pain go away for him.
"You can't." He finally managed to gasp and sat up. His face was paler than ever and his frame was smaller than ever. No one ever would have guessed that this man, curled at her feet was one of the CIA's top agents. He looked so small and so miserable all curled up in her arms. He wanted to reach out and hold onto life so strong but he couldn't bring himself to do so. Right now it was easier to accept defeat. "No one can help me."
They stayed like that for a long time. His body melted towards and she held him tightly. It was the first time she had ever seen him cry. He was so weak and this cancer had really taken a toll on him- both physically and emotionally. Not only was his body rejecting itself but his mind was rejecting everything too. She tried to comfort him and hold him tightly but no matter what it seemed, her touch didn't seem to do. She finally realized why she had come to see him. It wasn't because of Weiss forcing her or anything.it was because deep down, past the hurt and the pain, she still loved him.
When the tears threaten to overturn onto her own cheeks, she snapped into gear, "C'mon, sweetie. Why don't we get going and we'll talk about this in the car ride over?" She sat him up all the way and ran her hand underneath his emerald colored eyes. Their eyes connected again and that adolescent emotion was shared between them again. There was love being shared between them again. The electricity that used to fill the warehouse and the briefings.all of that was back and better than ever. She felt more alive when he was there and she prayed that he felt the same.
She urged him up to his feet. He wobbled slightly as his feet were asleep. She steadied him for a moment and watched him intently. "C'mon." She tucked her arm around his waist and slowly started to move across the aged floor towards the door.
He moaned slightly and took painfully slow and small steps, "Why are you here? Why did you come after all this time?"
There was a sudden change in emotion in the room. She could no longer feel anger towards him or resentment. The constant moaning and groaning that fluttered past his lips threw her emotions into places that she forgot the human spirit could go. Compartmenting was no longer an option. These moments were too real and it almost life better to feel such intense emotions.
Sydney drew her mouth closed and felt her tongue swell in her throat, "How could I not come? I've been mad at you long enough. It's time to put it behind us." Her hands were wrapped around his waist and she felt as though they would never reach the door. She had her hand on the doorknob when he spoke up again.
"I need shoes." He said, rather meekly.
She laughed slightly at this and looked down at his bare feet, "I guess you do." She let her laughter fill the tiny space like a dancing little melody. "We'll have Weiss bring you some."
"When in doubt, send Weiss?"
"You bet." She laughed lightly and opened the door. She couldn't tell him the truth about the mission and who was dead. There were too many dangers that went along with this op..dangers she hadn't seen in a long time. And this time, her life, Vaughn's life, and two other lives hung in the balance. How was this ever going to be explained?
Ah well.
No cliff hanger! But there are still some unresolved questions.
How did they find out that Vaughn was in LA?
What's the mission going to be?
Who died?
What's going on in Fleury?
Will Vaughn die or go into remission?
If you have any questions, comments, or other suggestions, please let me know. I love getting feedback and hopefully the twists and turns that are coming up won't through you too far off course!
"Do you want to tell him or shall I?" She started to grow impatient and by the looks of it, a migraine started to grow in her skull.
Weiss grew silent again and motioned for her to tell Vaughn the news-
"Will the two of you stop talking like I'm not in the room?" choked Vaughn rather loudly in his raspy voice.
Sydney looked down at him and shook her head before sitting down, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this Vaughn, but we're going on a mission. We leave in a few hours." She caressed his cheek softly with the palm of her hand. She smiled sadly and gazed into his beautiful colored eyes rather adoringly.
He was so confused by this, "Why are you sorry about that?" He struggled to sit up but Sydney forced him back down as she settled back down onto her chair. She left her hand on his shoulder and pressed him there for a moment. "Wait before you answer that; what's going on in Fleury? Who's dead? Whose body do I have to ID?"
Sydney sighed deeply and retracted her hands. She clasped them tightly in her lap and starred at them intently, "I can't tell you that right now. We have to go in for a formal briefing."
"A briefing? Why?"
"Because you've had time off, you have to go through formal procedures." She said with a matter-of-fact tone.
"No, why I am going in for a briefing?" Vaughn quickly replied, feeling suddenly nervous.
She wanted dodge his question but knew she couldn't, "They want you in."
"N-n-n-n-n-no. I'm staying put. I had chemo on Friday and I stay in bed until Sunday night and go back to work on Monday. Today's on Saturday. I still have at least twenty-four hours to puke my guts out!" He protested like a teenager. His eyes were wide with fear and he was officially panicking.
Sydney sat down and caressed his face softly with the palm of her hand, "We have to bring you in." She cooed softly.
"Like hell you do!" He screamed and seemed close to tears. He was a mess, both physically and emotionally. "Please Sydney. I can't. I just wanted to see you. I didn't want them to know I'm back. Please, baby." He dropped his voice and started to beg. "What's so important that I have to go? Please, just tell me."
She hated hearing him like that, "You're going to have to trust me." She rested her hand on his cheek and gazed into his eyes lovingly. "Please, honey."
Weiss felt completely out of place and like a third wheel. He turned his back to them and tried to breath normally, without sighing. He couldn't crack a joke or say anything. He studied his feet for a moment and placed his cell phone back into his pocket and rested both of his hands there.
"How did they find me? I'm suppose to be in New York!"
Sydney wet her lips and looked at Weiss desperately. She refused to answer but in part, she didn't really know. Weiss looked at her with equally unreadable eyes.
He reached up and ran his hand through her hair and down her face. "Angelot," little angel, "why can't you tell me? C'mon it's-it's us."
She snapped her neck around towards Vaughn as he spoke and tried to answer him the best she could, "Please sweetie, please try to understand.." She pleaded and fought both her instincts and Vaughn to get to her feet. He grabbed tightly onto her arm. Fighting her instincts, she found his clothes and stood at the foot of his bed, "Take your choice. Get dressed yourself, have me dress you, or we call a team in to get you." There was obvious pain etching through her voice. She put the typical Bristow façade over any emotion she may have been feeling. This wasn't time for love or lust. This was a time for business.
He took a moment to contemplate this over as he sat up, feeling the rush of nausea sweep through his body more than ever, "The bottle over on the nightstand.there's one for anti-nausea. Get it for me?"
Sydney obeyed silently and the third bottle she picked was the right medication. "Water?" She opened the bottle and revealed a tiny white pill. It was amazing that something that tiny could bring such relief. She found her spot on the bed, the clothes thrown over her arm, and the pill in her extended hand.
"Don't need it." He reached for the pill, set it in his mouth and swallowed down-hard. He ran his tongue around in his relatively dry mouth. He heated these side-effects with such a passion and right now, he just wanted stay in bed and not move for a very long time.
She looked at him for a long moment. Her honey brown eyes met his crystal green ones. There was so much pain being communicated back and forth without words. She felt bile burn down her throat and sympathy pains carved themselves in the greatest intensity yet in her chest. She moved her hands to cover the painful spot with the palm of her hand. The coolness of it started to soothe it away, "What have you decided?"
Vaughn looked down, the worry lines apparent on his forehead. He studied the folds of the blanket intensely and followed one of the creases with his fingertips. The silence was deafening. The three inhabitants all seemed to be holding their breath. But Vaughn refused to answer. He felt a knot well in his throat and he didn't have the strength to go on.
Weiss finally spoke up, "Mike."
"I can't go, Weiss. I'm sick. I am sick." Vaughn spat. He looked to his friend, desperate for support.
"You've come all this way- gone through all of this and now you say that you're sick? You were the one that kept saying that you were gonna beat this and come back. You were the one that kept saying that you missed it so much - that you let your own father down that you took time off!" Weiss lost his temper and started to yell, "Now! Get your ass out of that bed. Suck it up. I know you're a hell of a lot stronger that what the hell you're doing now." He paused for a moment and walked towards the door. "Sydney, I'll meet you outside." He stormed out of the tiny hotel room angrily. The door slammed loudly.
Sydney arched her eyebrows, "Well." She was impressed by Weiss's tactics. She had never seen him so serious, let alone stand up to his best friend. "What's your decision?" Her eyes were locked on the door and she had to fight the little smile playing on her lips. Weiss did have (pardon this expression) balls. She looked at Vaughn again, who was now standing.
"I can get dressed myself. I'm sick. I'm not an invalid." Angrily, he managed to throw the meager looking blanket off of his legs. With much effort, he fought to his feet and felt the jell-o feeling rush through his legs.
"I never said you were." Sydney snapped back, "Do you want me to get you clothes?"
"I am more than capable to do this for myself." He fought further to get to his suitcase, shaking off the help of Sydney. She gave into the shadows and found solace on the bed, watching Vaughn struggle with himself. She knew that she couldn't help him. If she did, he would never heal over. She watched his chest heave with heavy breaths that came uneasily through his mouth. It pained her to see him that way
She looked away from him and concentrated on a little knick in the wall. "I know that now."
He craned his neck around to look at her, "What's that suppose to mean?"
She raised his chin slightly, "Those messages you left for me. You sounded like you were dying."
Vaughn's eyes burned like flames. There was obvious anger lying there. "You stopped returning my calls." His tone was harsh. He groaned slightly as he grabbed a pair of jeans and a gray polo shirt.
"You left me." She said equally as harsh. "What was I suppose to think? I thought you had gone back to Alice."
"I thought you knew me better than that!"
"Then why the hell did you keep something like from me? Why did you think that I wouldn't be able to deal with this?" She sat down on the bed and watched him impatiently. She crossed her legs and felt the love that she felt for him drain like the color from her face. "I don't think you realized how much you hurt me when you left. For all I knew, you had gone back to Alice?"
"You thought I went back to Alice?" He started to curse underneath his breath as he fought with the yards of fabric.
"What else was I suppose to think? One day you were here and the next day, gone." She scoffed ruefully for a moment as she reflect, "Dr. Barnett will be happy that you're back. Apparently, I got aggressive when you left."
Vaughn smiled sadly, "Aggressive? That's my girl."
"Yeah.well.your leaving had an effect on me."
Vaughn struggled to get dressed, feeling the fabric stick to his sweaty body. "It hurt me so much to leave you." He pulled his pants on, resting on the dresser top for support. He finally turned around to face her and simply glared at her for a moment.
"I still don't understand why you couldn't let me help you." Sydney retorted, using a similar hurt expression. She crossed her arms over she chest and her legs over each other. She was officially was defensive. She watched him struggle with himself and groan slightly with each movement.
His eyes flashed with anger, "Stop it, Sydney!" He manage to belt. His raspy voice echoed throughout the space, almost knocking him over. He was still so weak. "There are just some things I have to do on my own. You're going to have to understand that."
"I'm sorry but I don't understand. If you loved me-"
He moved to get his shirt and hastily put it on, talking through the fabric. "Don't play the love me card, Syd." His voice started to nearly yelling.
And there went her temper. "Why not? I loved you and you just walked out on me because you had to 'do some things on your own?' I'm sorry but I can't accept that! You've helped me in the worst situations and when you're in trouble, why won't you let me do the same?"
"Because all those times were different!"
"Why?"
"Because!"
"I'm sorry, Vaughn, but that's not a good enough answer! I want to help you but I can't if you won't let me help!"
"No one can help me!" His body finally wracked with a cough which eventually led to dry heaves that shook his chest. The demise of him standing soon followed and he was sent crashing to his knees. The coughing continued for a moment and he gripped his clothing clad chest. "No one can help me."
Hesitantly, she walked towards him and crouched down beside him, "Let me help you then." She moved to comfort him but he sunk further down onto his knees. Finally, she won the battle and wrapped her arms around him. She felt his hacking cough turn into a dry sob. She kissed his forehead and cradled him tightly in her arms. She felt dry tears kiss her knees as he curled closer to her body. "Let me help. Please, sweetie, let me help." His body felt so warm against hers and all she could do was wish she could make the pain go away for him.
"You can't." He finally managed to gasp and sat up. His face was paler than ever and his frame was smaller than ever. No one ever would have guessed that this man, curled at her feet was one of the CIA's top agents. He looked so small and so miserable all curled up in her arms. He wanted to reach out and hold onto life so strong but he couldn't bring himself to do so. Right now it was easier to accept defeat. "No one can help me."
They stayed like that for a long time. His body melted towards and she held him tightly. It was the first time she had ever seen him cry. He was so weak and this cancer had really taken a toll on him- both physically and emotionally. Not only was his body rejecting itself but his mind was rejecting everything too. She tried to comfort him and hold him tightly but no matter what it seemed, her touch didn't seem to do. She finally realized why she had come to see him. It wasn't because of Weiss forcing her or anything.it was because deep down, past the hurt and the pain, she still loved him.
When the tears threaten to overturn onto her own cheeks, she snapped into gear, "C'mon, sweetie. Why don't we get going and we'll talk about this in the car ride over?" She sat him up all the way and ran her hand underneath his emerald colored eyes. Their eyes connected again and that adolescent emotion was shared between them again. There was love being shared between them again. The electricity that used to fill the warehouse and the briefings.all of that was back and better than ever. She felt more alive when he was there and she prayed that he felt the same.
She urged him up to his feet. He wobbled slightly as his feet were asleep. She steadied him for a moment and watched him intently. "C'mon." She tucked her arm around his waist and slowly started to move across the aged floor towards the door.
He moaned slightly and took painfully slow and small steps, "Why are you here? Why did you come after all this time?"
There was a sudden change in emotion in the room. She could no longer feel anger towards him or resentment. The constant moaning and groaning that fluttered past his lips threw her emotions into places that she forgot the human spirit could go. Compartmenting was no longer an option. These moments were too real and it almost life better to feel such intense emotions.
Sydney drew her mouth closed and felt her tongue swell in her throat, "How could I not come? I've been mad at you long enough. It's time to put it behind us." Her hands were wrapped around his waist and she felt as though they would never reach the door. She had her hand on the doorknob when he spoke up again.
"I need shoes." He said, rather meekly.
She laughed slightly at this and looked down at his bare feet, "I guess you do." She let her laughter fill the tiny space like a dancing little melody. "We'll have Weiss bring you some."
"When in doubt, send Weiss?"
"You bet." She laughed lightly and opened the door. She couldn't tell him the truth about the mission and who was dead. There were too many dangers that went along with this op..dangers she hadn't seen in a long time. And this time, her life, Vaughn's life, and two other lives hung in the balance. How was this ever going to be explained?
Ah well.
No cliff hanger! But there are still some unresolved questions.
How did they find out that Vaughn was in LA?
What's the mission going to be?
Who died?
What's going on in Fleury?
Will Vaughn die or go into remission?
If you have any questions, comments, or other suggestions, please let me know. I love getting feedback and hopefully the twists and turns that are coming up won't through you too far off course!