Chapter 1

"I'm Sorry"

Au: I have decided to go back through all my older chapters and fix them. I'm wasn't happy with them when I read them back after some time, but I made sure to edit them all together so I could repost them all at once. I didn't change much in this chapter, but I can't say the same for the others. To any new readers, I hope you like it.

"Italics in speech" - emphasised words

Italics by themselves in a separate line - Zero's thoughts

And because I don't want to write a disclaimer on all of the chapters like some people do, I'll put it here, where most people will probably see it.

I don't own vampire knight or any of the characters used in this story. Hino Matsuri-Sensei is a genius who deserves all the credit. Her art and stories are marvellous and a huge inspiration to me as an artist. I love how much work and time she puts into her stories. Please, if you haven't already, go read the original manga for vampire Knight then go read the after-story Vampire Knight Memories. Hell, even if you've already read them, read them again and just look at how her art evolves through each story arc.

Disgusting. It won't come off. No matter how much I try. The feel of her blood, on my face, my hands. It makes me feel sick. I'm so sorry Yuki. It wasn't meant to happen like this. It wasn't supposed to be you. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time and you wouldn't leave, no matter how much I yelled. You are too caring.

I watched as the water droplets slid down the glass pane in front of me. Almost like tears.

Do you hate me now? I hope you do. I deserve it after what I've done. I know how it feels to have your blood sucked out, to feel the fangs in your neck. No one should have to feel that.

I turned the water off and got out of the shower. Towelled myself dry and put on some track pants and a loose T-shirt. On my way back to my room I found a sticky note stuck innocently on my door.

"Meet me in my office when you are ready to talk" it had said. I could tell from the handwriting that it was from Cross. He must want to speak to me about what happened earlier. Well, I'm sure he can wait a while longer. I don't need to hear what he says. Probably something along the lines of "You should have been more careful" or "I'm disappointed". Maybe he'll even kick me out. He looked sad when he brought me back to my room.

I wanted to stay in my room for a bit. To try to sleep a little, if I can.

In all honesty, as I laid down and my head hit the pillow, I was out. Fast asleep. But it wasn't as peaceful as I'd hoped. It never was. Tonight was fitful. A nightmare about back when I was still just a human boy living with my parents and twin. Everything was perfectly fine until I felt it, the aura of a vampire outside our house. I'm sure you know the rest of that story. There was a lot of blood spilt that night, including my own.

When I woke up, I had decided that I wanted to leave. To go as far away from Yuki as I could so that I would never hurt her again. Even now, after already tasting her blood, I was craving more. It's an insatiable need, one that makes most ex-humans go insane within the first month or so, killing their families and loved ones.

I decided that I'd leave that night, so I began packing my duffle bag with the essentials. I moved to pull out a shirt and a photo fell to the ground. The picture Yuki forced me to take with her on our first day of high school together. It got me thinking, I don't want to hurt her again but even if I left, who's to say I won't attack a random stranger on the road or in an alley. Who's to say I won't lose my mind and kill more than a few others before the other Hunters notice?

That's when I remembered my gun. It was a gift from Cross. He had given it to me when I began my training to be a guarding for the school. "This gun won't hurt a human... but it will kill a vampire". With those words in my mind, I grabbed my gun from the bed, sat down, and held it to my head.

I don't want to hurt anyone else ever again. This will protect them, Yuki, from me... it'll be fast, I probably won't feel a thing. Or maybe I'll feel everything. Maybe I deserve that. I don't know. I don't care. I... ,m/m

But all too soon it came to a screeching halt. I had missed the sounds of racing footsteps and before long, Yuki had burst into my bedroom and as she saw what I was doing, she leaped towards me, calling my name. I wasn't ready for it. I felt her tackle me to the bed.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?"

"Nothing". It was the first thing that came to my mind, probably not the brightest answer since she clearly saw what I was planning on doing. Still, I didn't want her to worry.

"Liar! You took off the gun's safety catch!"

"why did you come here?" By all rights, she shouldn't be here. I hurt her, and there's no coming back from that. How can she even stand to be near me after what I did?

She didn't answer so I flipped us over so that I was on top. I told her I was too dangerous to stay at the academy any longer. So, I got up, grabbed my bag, and left her on my bed with a confused, maybe even worried or scared, face.

I made it down to the school's main gates before she caught up to me. She was out of breath yet she still ran to me and grabbed me from the back hugging me to her. I didn't turn to face her, just stood there and let her talk me out of leaving. It worked. I reluctantly followed her back to my room where she silently put my things back where they came from. She wouldn't leave me that night, sitting on my bed with me till she fell asleep, the furrow between her brows finally relaxing. I however, couldn't sleep.

The next day, Yuki took me to see the chairman so that we could talk about what to do with me. In all of the time I've been with them both, I have never felt so mad at him. As we walked into his office he had a night class uniform in his arms, rambling on about how good it must look on me. I wanted to hit him but Yuki held me back.

Chairman Cross put on his serious face and Yuki and I knew, instantly, that whatever came next wasn't going to be good.

"Zero-kun can't stay in the day class any longer."

It was heart breaking. I knew he meant to put me into the night class, even though he knew how I would hate it there. Yuki must have understood as well, because she spoke up before I had time to even process it all.

"He can't go! He hates them and he'd get into fights with the other students and… and the night class are always so mean to him!" She stuttered, trying to reason with him, but someone else had entered the room at that moment.

"He needs to be with his own kind, we don't want any more accidents to happen now do we?" There's only one person I know with such impeccably annoying timing. Kuran Kaname. Of course, why wouldn't he be here? I bet this was all his fault. He probably manipulated the chairman to agree to transfer me to the night class.

"Kaname-senpai! What are you doing here?" Yuki was as ignorant as always.

"I've just come to help the chairman with Kiryuu-kun's transfer paperwork, since He'll be under my watch from now on."

Wait, under his watch? He's going to try and keep me in line, more like. I think he'll find it's harder than it looks. I will never bow down to him. I refuse to become one of his lackeys.

"Eeh?! But he won't like it there! Kaname-senpai! Surely you can let him stay in the day class."

There was no point in arguing against it, I knew that Kuran would never let me stay near her the way I am now.

"I'm sorry, dear girl, but Kiryuu-kun just isn't suited for the day class any longer. He must join our class and stay in the moon dorms where we can keep a closer eye on him."

I was livid. I didn't want to live in that place, surrounded by more of those disgusting creatures. But as much as I hated the idea, I knew he was right. I couldn't let myself hurt Yuki any longer. I was one of 'those creatures' now, there's no more denying it.

"Fine, I'll go. But I want my own room so I don't have to be around any of you for longer than I need to be."

"Are you sure? I'm sure Kaname could do something to keep you in the day class!" Oh Yuki, always trying to make everyone happy. It doesn't work like that in this world.

"It'll be ok. I'm fine with going. I should go. I don't belong in the day class anymore. I could hurt someone." I felt my voice waver near the end, but I only hope to whatever god may or may not be out there, that Kuran didn't hear it.

"If you are truly ok with it, then I guess I am too." She had a sad look in her eyes, worries clearly visible behind the small, reluctant, smile.

I wasn't really ok with going, I just knew I had to. But she didn't need to know that. Yuki needed to believe I was fine with it. That way I can keep her at a safe distance.

"Zero-kun will still perform his duties as a guardian while being in the night class. Though he can't be patrolling around during class, he can keep check of all the night student's whereabouts and I will hire another to help Yuki patrol during the night. It's actually already set up. He will act as a student teacher for the day class. I believe you know him Zero-kun. He will be arriving with Touga-kun in a few days."

"I see. How long with Shishou be here? And who is coming with him?" I asked. Who, from the hunters, would ever agree to helping Cross with his absurd ideology?

"He will actually be attending as a teacher for the night class and as for who is coming with him, it'll be Kaito-kun. You two haven't seen each other in quite a while, have you? He's been overseas for the last 6 months so this'll be his first assignment back home."

Kaito? It's true I haven't seen him since we were kids. He trained under Yagari-Shishou with Ichiru and I, though he is a few years older. I can't exactly imagine him being a good teacher…

"Well, since they won't be here for a few days yet, I suppose it'll be efficient time for you to gather your things and bring them to your new room in the moon dorms. You'll even have time to get used to your new sleeping schedule."

"Oh goodie" I said sarcastically, "I can't wait to attend class with that lot."

"Don't be like that, Zero-kun. I'm sure it'll be just fine. You'll see Yuki before and after class every day and I'm sure you'll make some friends. It might actually be good for you."

I'm not so sure I'll make any friends. It'll be more like enemies.

"Well then Kiryuu-kun, I suppose I'll be seeing you at the moon dorms later tonight. You'd better get a head start on that sleep, since you'll be up all night getting your things ready for class tomorrow." Kuran left after that last comment, greeting Yuki goodnight as he passed her.

With that, I headed back to my room in the sun dorms to gather my things. I didn't bother sleeping as Kuran suggested, I knew I couldn't anyway. I was too anxious about tonight.